Author Topic: Gaining control of Compulsive Masturbation  (Read 4983 times)

BabySteps

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Re: Gaining control of Compulsive Masturbation
« Reply #75 on: May 21, 2020, 08:44:49 AM »
Day 7
No pmo. Wish to eliminate masturbating for good.

ShadeTrenicin

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Re: Gaining control of Compulsive Masturbation
« Reply #76 on: May 21, 2020, 04:57:06 PM »
Hey BabySteps,

Great job on reaching 6 days again!

No PMO = excellent
No cravings = good
Only regrets = something that might not be beneficial for your mental health.

The funny thing with regret is, is that it puts yourself in a negative position. You regret that YOU the person did something that you do not approve of.
You can never win that way! The same with you wishing to stop masturbation forever. In its basic form masturbation is a part of being human and there is nothing bad about it. Whats shit about P is that it totally fucks up the function of natural masturbation and messed you up mentally. I think the goal is to reach that natural level of masturbation. However, that is my opinion and that may not coinside with your vision.
But what i want to point out in this is the negative approach to a relapse and masturbation, if you keep punishing yourself for having an addiction (a relapse is still part of the addiction) or natural behaviour you will have a very difficult time ridding yourself of the addiction.

I've said this to you before, but you are only human and you are not unique in having relapses! Read all our threads, we all have them and feel bad about them for a short while. They are the challenges that we must face, but they are also the chances we can take to better ourself and learn why relapses happen (and when and where). By learning from our mistakes we can change our behaviour and mental patterns and so, gradually build towards a porn free life.


Im rooting for you man! Keep it up and please, love yourself and dont be hard on yourself.

If you are ever in need of love, support or just to rant, please come and post here! We are here for you
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Love yourself; allow your emotions, understand your emotions and make love for yourself your number one priority

BabySteps

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Re: Gaining control of Compulsive Masturbation
« Reply #77 on: May 22, 2020, 06:59:46 AM »
Hey Shades
True that this negative approach is counter productive, I've just been bruised by pmo for a long time.

It usually starts with just masturbating without pornography, and it escalates to using and binging on pornography. I find myself failing to concentrate on nothing else but pornography.

 Thanks a lot for your comment buddy.

BabySteps

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Re: Gaining control of Compulsive Masturbation
« Reply #78 on: May 22, 2020, 07:03:54 AM »
Day 8,
No pmo, no cravings.

Yesterday out of nowhere I was contacted by three ladies I really like. This time I'll be careful minimizing my attention to them.

ShadeTrenicin

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Re: Gaining control of Compulsive Masturbation
« Reply #79 on: May 22, 2020, 04:06:24 PM »
Hey BabySteps,

It's okay that you are bruised by PMO. Nothing wrong with that. Could you perhaps look at yourself and that you used to PMO a lot without judgement, but with compassion. Try to see yourself as someone in need of something. What that something is, is something that you need to figure out yourself. But if you feel an urge, try to close your eyes and think of yourself and just ask yourself what it is that you need emotionally..

Other than that what i've found helpful is the following;

1. Recognize the urge
2. Allow the urge to exist (you cannot will or push it away) just let it be and analyze
3. Investigate why the urge is there. (is there something inside of you that makes you want to resort to PMO)
4. Realize that the urge is temporary
5. Recall the feeling of emptiness after a PMO wank
6. (optional if the urge is really strong) Resort to a sort of non-sexual activity such as housework, sports, hobbies.

Good luck man! Keep on posting, it helps you it helps us (borrowed from joepanic)
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Love yourself; allow your emotions, understand your emotions and make love for yourself your number one priority

BabySteps

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Re: Gaining control of Compulsive Masturbation
« Reply #80 on: May 23, 2020, 08:39:18 AM »
Hey Shades
Thanks for your comment, really appreciate.

BabySteps

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Re: Gaining control of Compulsive Masturbation
« Reply #81 on: May 23, 2020, 08:42:07 AM »
Day (90-81=9),
No pmo, no cravings. Have some kind of headache that refuse to go away.

ShadeTrenicin

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Re: Gaining control of Compulsive Masturbation
« Reply #82 on: May 23, 2020, 10:48:45 AM »
Hey BabySteps, another day to add to the streak. Every day is one to celebrate.

Good luck with the headache!
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Love yourself; allow your emotions, understand your emotions and make love for yourself your number one priority

BabySteps

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Re: Gaining control of Compulsive Masturbation
« Reply #83 on: May 24, 2020, 04:24:16 AM »
Hey Shades,
I guess I needed deep sleep for 6 hours. Woke up feeling awesome, the headache is gone.

BabySteps

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Re: Gaining control of Compulsive Masturbation
« Reply #84 on: May 24, 2020, 04:25:48 AM »
Day 10
No pmo, no cravings. Headache gone, hoping for a better day.

ShadeTrenicin

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Re: Gaining control of Compulsive Masturbation
« Reply #85 on: May 24, 2020, 07:32:57 AM »
Hey man, welcome to day 10!

So you wrote, hoping for a better day.. Might i give you an alternative approach (i've gotten this wisdom from my wife)

Replace hope by trust: hope and fear are grown from the impression that you are missing something. They grow from a feeling of shortcoming. Contrary to popular belief, hope does not live but prevents living. Hoping is plunging yourself in an imaginary future and so not engaging in the only thing that really matters; the now.

Hope is build from fear, absence of hope leads to trust

I know, its a bit hard to read and it might be a slap in the face (it was for me the first time i read about this) but ultimately this concept helped me in facing my fears!

I want to illustrate this with an example from myself.

For years i had problems with my wife about sex and there was a lot to be fixed. I always got down when somethign happened, which made me sad and feeling like i didn't have what it took (a shortcoming) after such an event i was always hoping that something got better, that the next time would magically be better.
The pitfall in that process of thought is that i placed my trust in the imaginative image of me and the wife having amazizng sex, rather than putting a lot of effort into what was really going on and getting to the root cause of our problems. Hoping for something better was a way to escape from the harsh reality that we had a communication problem and that I build massive walls around me, emotionally.

This went on for years until i finally learned not to hope, but to engage in the now. It was really difficult, but learning to accept is one of the most crucial skills i had to attain in battling my addiction and overcoming the problems with my wife. Acceptance is key to facing yourself, seeing yourself. Being able to observe yourself and your behaviour without judgement will allow you to understand your actions and emotions and so change them.




Good luck man!


« Last Edit: May 24, 2020, 07:42:59 AM by ShadeTrenicin »
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BabySteps

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Re: Gaining control of Compulsive Masturbation
« Reply #86 on: May 25, 2020, 08:58:20 AM »
Hey Shades,
That's deep man. There here and now makes sense.
Much appreciated comment

BabySteps

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Re: Gaining control of Compulsive Masturbation
« Reply #87 on: May 25, 2020, 08:59:51 AM »
Day 11,
No pmo, no cravings. Still baby steps!

BabySteps

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Re: Gaining control of Compulsive Masturbation
« Reply #88 on: May 26, 2020, 01:11:10 AM »
Day 12,
No pmo.
Things will work out for my good.

BabySteps

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Re: Gaining control of Compulsive Masturbation
« Reply #89 on: May 27, 2020, 02:03:43 AM »
Day 13
No pmo, no cravings. Just came back from jogging, feeling awesome.

ShadeTrenicin

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Re: Gaining control of Compulsive Masturbation
« Reply #90 on: May 27, 2020, 02:29:14 AM »
Great Job BabySteps!

Day by day, BabyStep by BabyStep you are making progress!!!!

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Love yourself; allow your emotions, understand your emotions and make love for yourself your number one priority

BabySteps

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Re: Gaining control of Compulsive Masturbation
« Reply #91 on: May 28, 2020, 02:53:20 AM »
Hey Shades,
It ain't easy, I'm just pushing as much possible to reboot this brain of mine.

BabySteps

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Re: Gaining control of Compulsive Masturbation
« Reply #92 on: May 28, 2020, 03:04:23 AM »
Day 14,
No pmo, no cravings.
My views on masturbating haven't changed, I think it's counter productive for me personally.
Feeling good after my morning jog.

ShadeTrenicin

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Re: Gaining control of Compulsive Masturbation
« Reply #93 on: May 28, 2020, 03:09:57 AM »
Great BabySteps,

I might follow your lead and also do a belated morning jog! Since this was your morning jog, Are you a fellow european?

Good luck on day 14! When do you normally feel your urges the most? Most people describe somethign the first days after PMO and then again after 13-20 days.. How is that normaly for you?


Cheers, i'm rooting for you
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Love yourself; allow your emotions, understand your emotions and make love for yourself your number one priority

BabySteps

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Re: Gaining control of Compulsive Masturbation
« Reply #94 on: May 29, 2020, 06:39:38 AM »
Hey Shades
I'm from South Africa. I started experiencing those edges yesterday. I refuse to entertain them though.
I choose to remain rigid until I've successfully completed 90 days.

BabySteps

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Re: Gaining control of Compulsive Masturbation
« Reply #95 on: May 29, 2020, 06:43:07 AM »
Day 15
No pmo, little cravings. But I crave a real woman.
Not feeling great today.

Icandoit

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Re: Gaining control of Compulsive Masturbation
« Reply #96 on: May 29, 2020, 08:20:37 AM »
Day 15
No pmo, little cravings. But I crave a real woman.
Not feeling great today.

Great, man! Don't let anything make you relapse. The addiction is sneaky. It will try to convince you that you need its "medication". But it's a trap. Not feeling great or craving women are not reasons to relapse.

ShadeTrenicin

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Re: Gaining control of Compulsive Masturbation
« Reply #97 on: May 29, 2020, 01:21:26 PM »
Hey man, 15 days is great! Keep it up man! I am rooting for you.
You go for that 90 days you are at 1/6th!


But, what makes your day not being great at this morning? Are you experiencing mood swings or external influences that make your day not going well?

KEep it up man, i am rooting for you
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Love yourself; allow your emotions, understand your emotions and make love for yourself your number one priority

BabySteps

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Re: Gaining control of Compulsive Masturbation
« Reply #98 on: May 30, 2020, 04:01:43 AM »
Hey Icandoit
Yeah man it's a temporary sense of relief, afterwards you feel empty.
Thanks for the comment!

BabySteps

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Re: Gaining control of Compulsive Masturbation
« Reply #99 on: May 30, 2020, 04:05:21 AM »
Hey ShadeTrenicin
Yeah one sixth in, five sixth to go.
The just miss my kid. The mother of my kid use my addiction as an excuse to refuse me access. But today I'm feeling OK.

Thanks for the comment!