Author Topic: Skullys Journal  (Read 1289 times)

Skully

  • Member

  • Offline
  • *

  • 2
    • View Profile
Skullys Journal
« on: March 30, 2014, 12:28:52 PM »
The first time I watched porn I was about 11 years old. I found it by accident while googling what sex was and all the feelings it gave me was overwhelming. I was literally shaking when I watched it. My dad walked in on me and I got in trouble and I stopped. However I started up again at about 13/14 and ever since then its kind of been for the most part a daily habit. Im now 19

From a moral standpoint Ive always known its its bad for me but its like this habit that I cant make go away. I do it with out thinking. Often Ill have 2 porn sites opened up on a pc before I even realize what im doing. Its become a huge problem for me. I dont think im truly addicted seeing as how I am able to resist the urge if the situation is inconvenient and I dont go crazy if I dont watch porn every single day, but I watch it very regularly and I have skipped out on opportunities to do other things so i can stay home and binge a bit. And even when in the past I tell myself im gonna quit im back at it again in a few days.

The thing that really opened my eyes to this problem is my girlfriend. The other day we were going to have sex for the first time and I couldn't get hard enough. Ive had sex a few times before but this was  the first time where it really mattered to me. Where making her happy was my goal. It was embarrassing to say the least but she was amazing about it and didn't make me feel any worse than I already did. The next day i started research about it because I figured im a bit too young for ED and i wasn't nervous. Im desperate to figure this out and thats how I discovered PIED. I didnt even know it existed. I found this site and watched a few videos and my eyes have been opened! Now that im more educated on the subject I have realized that I have many symptoms. I dont get erections like I used to. They aren't spontaneous and I usually have to make them happen. I used to get these raging hard ons that are borderline painful unless something is done about it. That hasn't happened in ages. I also ejaculate very fast. I guess this is because over the years Ive trained myself to finish quickly.

Some symptoms don't seem to totally match up with me but seeing as how ive been watching porn a looong time im probably all messed up and don't even know it. If im successful at rebooting we will see what happens. PIED is very likely what is causing my problem and im gonna do everything I can to change it. So far im on my 3rd day. Ive felt a few urges but I just immediately get busy doing something to take my mind off it.
I just hope that it doesn't take forever to get myself back on track. A year ago I managed to make myself stop for almost 1.5 weeks and I noticed that I got erections very quickly. Much faster than usual. And they were a lot stronger too. It only took a few seconds of touching to get it up. Maybe there is hope it wont take months and months and months. Even if it doesn't though im gonna stick with it. I just dont know what to say to my girlfriend. Do I tell her about my problem? Or just wait it out and hope I recover quickly? I dont know.

Geez I wrote alot. Whatever. Feels good to get it all out.

Gabe Deem

  • Administrator
  • Member

  • Offline
  • *****

  • 752
  • Personal Text
    I found out the soft way that porn is sex negative
    • View Profile
Re: Skullys Journal
« Reply #1 on: April 12, 2014, 01:25:09 AM »
@ Skully
Quote
It only took a few seconds of touching to get it up. Maybe there is hope it wont take months and months and months. Even if it doesn't though im gonna stick with it.

This is a great mindset man. That is a very good thing you have already seen improvement so quickly. There is definitely hope for you. However since you started on porn young it might be a long reboot. Do not worry about how long and just commit to the lifestyle change and be willing to do what it takes. You will be fine. Stick with it, it will be worth it.

Quote
Do I tell her about my problem? Or just wait it out and hope I recover quickly?

I personally would. When you do though, keep it focused on the science about what porn does to guys brains and that this has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with attraction. Tell her you had no idea it could cause a problem and it was normal for you and the boys to do. However if you could go back you would never have done it because you would rather have never watched porn so you could have sex with her. Something like that, if that is the truth. It was for me at least.

Show her my videos or the vids on YourBrainOnPorn.com and tell her you are going to do whatever it takes to reboot. Hopefully she will be on board and willing to support and help you.

Glad you found the site. Welcome to the Nation.

Hope the best for you

Twitter and Instagram @gabedeem