Author Topic: Old addict new journey  (Read 290 times)

achilles heel

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Re: Old addict new journey
« Reply #25 on: August 12, 2018, 05:07:41 AM »
Day 0
Relapse twice again today.
Horrible feeling of guilt and shame.
I am starting again, same goal to beat my last best of 10 and reach 2 weeks, 14 days.
My brain has to start self control, focus and concentration.

Don't feel ashamed or guilty, this is an addiction and we are all in the same boat. If it was easy, we weren't here writing journals. You did well and now you will do even better and reach at least the 2 weeks!

johnleesmith65

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Re: Old addict new journey
« Reply #26 on: August 12, 2018, 07:20:52 PM »
Keep your head up... Beating this addiction is possible.... It comes to a point when you have to have the mindset that porn is no longer an option... It’s definitely a war it ain’t easy.. You have to fight with your brain for weeks or months... You have to shut your brain down and resist it.. Your brain is going to play tricks on you and try it’s hardest to make you relaspe... Ignore it and keep on fighting it will eventually give in and porn flashbacks and thoughts will wither away and weaken...
Thank you so much my man.
I really appreciate those words.
It really does helps a lot.
I am trying my best.
Life is tough.
Learn to live instead of numbing yourself by use of porn.

johnleesmith65

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Re: Old addict new journey
« Reply #27 on: August 12, 2018, 07:22:20 PM »
Day 0
Relapse twice again today.
Horrible feeling of guilt and shame.
I am starting again, same goal to beat my last best of 10 and reach 2 weeks, 14 days.
My brain has to start self control, focus and concentration.

Don't feel ashamed or guilty, this is an addiction and we are all in the same boat. If it was easy, we weren't here writing journals. You did well and now you will do even better and reach at least the 2 weeks!
Thank you heels.
I am trying my best.
Life is tough.
Learn to live instead of numbing yourself by use of porn.

johnleesmith65

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Re: Old addict new journey
« Reply #28 on: August 12, 2018, 07:26:39 PM »
Day 1
I won't lie.
I have spent some time today watching porn, like 10-15 mins.
but overall it was not that intense.
So I won't count it as full relapse, it happened because of chaser effect.
I got first day without porn.
Good thing is that, I have started meditation for like 5 mins 2,3 times a day.

Rest is fine.
I look forward to full recovery.
And wish you all who support me, full recovery.
Life is tough.
Learn to live instead of numbing yourself by use of porn.

johnleesmith65

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Re: Old addict new journey
« Reply #29 on: August 16, 2018, 01:25:18 AM »
Day 2
Got 2 days, after lots of ejaculations and rock bottom, completely destroyed.
Trying to recovery loses.
Mood swings, anger, depression, anxiety is starting to kick in again.
Life is tough.
Learn to live instead of numbing yourself by use of porn.