Author Topic: Back On The Wagon: 2  (Read 18562 times)

PE30

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Re: Back On The Wagon: 2
« Reply #425 on: June 13, 2019, 11:57:21 AM »
Day nine done :) keeping this short as I've been on my phone too long already.
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PE30

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Re: Back On The Wagon: 2
« Reply #426 on: June 16, 2019, 01:30:07 AM »
This is day 12. Not an awful lot to report - temptation was quite high when I woke up this morning but I have managed to resolve it in my head. I wonder if the temptation will ever really go away. I think it will, but it'll return again, and I need to be prepared for that.
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PE30

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Re: Back On The Wagon: 2
« Reply #427 on: June 17, 2019, 11:26:30 AM »
Day 13 almost over. Tricky day workwise but have been keeping myself out of trouble.
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PE30

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Re: Back On The Wagon: 2
« Reply #428 on: June 18, 2019, 01:33:14 PM »
Day 14 done. It's been a really tough couple of days with work, and there's a part of me that just wants to dive into the deep end as a means of dealing with the stress and emotional impact of it all. Old me would have done so without a shadow of a doubt.

I'm pleased with having got to two weeks, even though I really don't feel like anywhere close to being as emotionally settled as I was previously. As I said before, my first target is two months' clean, which would take me to the second day of our summer holiday.

I need to keep in mind that I am making small sacrifices for great gains.
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aquarius25

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Re: Back On The Wagon: 2
« Reply #429 on: June 18, 2019, 03:17:47 PM »
Just remember every big journey starts with one foot in front of the other. Its all about those little steps building to something great. You are doing a fantastic job, keep it up. Remember you can't change yesterday, and no amount of trying will bring tomorrow any sooner so live for today. Be the best version you can of yourself now. Two weeks is fantastic! All of the men who have left porn for 1 yr, 5 yrs and beyond all started with 2 hrs, 2 days, 2 months and so forth.

PE30

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Re: Back On The Wagon: 2
« Reply #430 on: June 19, 2019, 02:30:22 AM »
Thank you :) If you look at my journey over the last few years, I've gone from being able to go a month clean, to two months, to three and a bit, to five, to eight...

I think there's a clear decision isn't there, at the start of each day? I mean, I'll be honest: I felt tempted this morning. I'm working from home and it'd be really easy just to slip back into the habit. But I have decided that I don't want to do that today. I think it says in the Bible that if we resist the devil, he will flee from us. That's encouraging isn't it? It means that we're not destined to be permanently taunted and tempted by him, but that the temptation will flee if we stand firm.

Anyway, this is day 15.
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bob

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Re: Back On The Wagon: 2
« Reply #431 on: June 19, 2019, 02:50:09 AM »
Keep it up! You can do this.

Peace

PE30

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Re: Back On The Wagon: 2
« Reply #432 on: June 20, 2019, 02:41:06 PM »
Day 16 today - I've been quite busy today but then I'm home alone this evening. I think it's a good idea to post on things like this as it helps to ground my mind in the right things. I don't want to go back to the way things were. It's just not worth it.
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Lero

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Re: Back On The Wagon: 2
« Reply #433 on: June 20, 2019, 03:12:14 PM »
Around 2 weeks is where I've noticed good things in the past but I haven't reached that in some time. If you reach 2 weeks, it's not worth it relapsing, especially if you feel benefits. And if after 2 weeks the withdrawal comes hard, the brain is good at convincing you that you should just relapse because you could get back there next time which makes me laugh because next time it will be the same. The withdrawal doesn't change with new attempts. We should just go through it once and be done with it.

PE30

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Re: Back On The Wagon: 2
« Reply #434 on: June 23, 2019, 01:15:59 PM »
I'm not sure if I'm experiencing good effects yet - just lots of temptation! I am on day 19 though so that's good.

It's depressing how difficult this is when it's not triggered by some crisis or another, and is just coming about as a result of my will to change. Maybe that's saying something though: it's possibly building resilience whereas I previously ran on fear.
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PE30

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Re: Back On The Wagon: 2
« Reply #435 on: June 25, 2019, 12:29:27 PM »
Day 21. It's been a tricky reboot so far but I'm hanging in there. Just need to concentrate on the goal at the end: a simple life, free from addiction.
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Lero

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Re: Back On The Wagon: 2
« Reply #436 on: June 25, 2019, 02:07:54 PM »
Day 21. It's been a tricky reboot so far but I'm hanging in there. Just need to concentrate on the goal at the end: a simple life, free from addiction.

Things are starting to move well, man. Keep going.

PE30

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Re: Back On The Wagon: 2
« Reply #437 on: June 26, 2019, 05:10:29 AM »
I'm sure I'll get there. Things to remember:

- I'm physically capable of not going onto chat rooms and porn sites. It's always a decision not to.
- I have done this before. 1,2,3,5,8 months. Maybe this is like the Fibonacci sequence and my next reboot will be 13 months :D
- It's what I want (a clean, simple life)
- the alternative will cost me my marriage and my family.
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bob

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Re: Back On The Wagon: 2
« Reply #438 on: June 28, 2019, 08:33:03 AM »
the alternative will cost me my marriage and my family.

Wiser words were never said. Keep moving forward.