Author Topic: Made it to 90 Days!  (Read 3440 times)

iugejbMADT

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Made it to 90 Days!
« on: January 28, 2018, 08:29:22 PM »
My story:
-I'm very fit, from having run from tweenage up until varsity in college.  Nowadays, I frequently win my age group in regional races.
-I'm very healthy: I've had blood tests while trying to debug the ED issues, and everything is nominal
-Successful in life: I was good at college, and got a good job.  These days, I'm a cofounder of a startup.
-Bullied in elementary school, which led to zero confidence when women started hitting on me in HS (when I started being athletically successful), which led to zero sexual relationships until I was in my mid-20s, at which point I'd been PMOing for a decade
-First several sexual experiences were awful, marred by ED, despite being with a physically stunning woman.
-ED-marred sex experiences continued through several more relationships.  Even with pharma assistance, pauses to get me back up were frequent.
-Since about age 20, more often than not, my very infrequent wet dreams would involve me finding a website with "the perfect set of videos", rather than real women.
-My porn habits themselves weren't as extreme as some other stories I've read: It'd be a very businesslike 15 minutes or so when I was bored, about 5-7 times per week.  Definitely didn't rule my life, and was very easy to drop once I came across YBOP's theories about it causing ED.  I feel very lucky to have this "easy" level of porn addiction, and I'm pulling for those guys that got in deeper before they found YBOP.

What brought me to YBOP:
-Had a very promising relationship that ended due to the frequent sex issues.  Had difficulty keeping things up.
-A couple weeks before it ended, we had yet another ED-marred sex attempt.  An hour or so later, I had a wonderful rock-hard masturbate in front of my PC, and (finally) realized the problem was not physical, but mental.  If I could get it up in front of a PC screen, why couldn't I get it up with a woman?  This thought didn't immediately bring me to YBOP, but a couple weeks later after the breakup I started googling "porn and ED" and found YBOP.  The success stories and overall theory seemed sound and jived with my own experience.

My YBOP Symptoms:
-ED with women despite being young, straight, attracted, and healthy
-Thinking "I can't wait to jerk off while thinking about this" when I saw someone hot like in a nightclub, rather than pursuing them right there.  The default action was never to try to enter into a relationship with the attractive person, but rather to use them as masturbation fuel.
-Relationships where I tried to redirect happenings away from sex because sex was so stressful
-Sex being insanely stressful.  Rather than enjoying it, it was always just a battle to perform adequately enough to stay in the relationship.  Like a pilot says "you either come out of the doctor's office fine (as you were) or grounded", sex felt like I came out of the bedroom fine or dumped.  It wasn't something joyful, but rather something to be dreaded.

Past Wrong Theories for why I had this issue:
-Asexual (nope - I like sex)
-Malnutrition (doesn't really make sense if I'm running and succeeding at half marathons.  Plus I made dietary changes that didn't help)
-Dehydrated (nope - still had issues while well hydrated)
-Fetish to the extent I needed it to get off  (nope - though indulging would help, I both had fetishless successes and fetish-involved massive failures)
-Bad health (nope - blood tests showed I'm in fine health, plus I'm healthy enough to do all my athletic stuff)
-Stressed (nope - until I started this startup, my job was cushy and finances are healthy)

Stats Before my 90-days:
-Orgasm rate (without condom) about 2-5%
-ED rate probably 50-75% rate (25-50% with viagra).  I'd get through sex, but we'd have frequent pauses for me to masturbate myself back to life.  Pre-sex, I'd often have to self-masturbate a ton to get up.
-Blowjobs almost invariably led to me losing my erection.  I'd always be trying to tend to myself to keep things up, and too stressed to enjoy the sensations.
-I'd also overheat frequently - I'd get too hot, and that'd invariably lead to ED.  I'd previously noticed I'd always flex and strain my legs while masturbating, which creates a ton of heat.  I suspect that phenomena has decreased as my threshold to get aroused and to orgasm has gone down.

During my 90 days:
-GF gave me a second chance
-I was open about YBOP's theory about PIED, and she was accepting of it.
-I didn't notice a huge flatline
-Masturbated about once a week in a doggystyle-style position without any stimulation beyond my hand.  I know M+O isn't recommended, but it was a great source of progress reporting.  My journal went from "could barely keep it up, finished while soft" to "rock hard in about 30 seconds, finished quickly".  In summer 2016 I remember attempting the same thing and I couldn't even get off WITH PORN PLAYING unless I was in my computer chair.  This is honestly probably my biggest definitively measurable improvement.
-In the first month, I had two abortive sexual attempts thanks to ED, but because we agreed to focus on non-P-in-V sex, it wasn't a problem and we just focused on getting her off.  That alone is a huge boost to confidence.
-In the 2nd and third months, I only had one failed attempt, and it was primarily because I was exhausted on that particular day.  I think I might've even been able to get it up that day, but abstained thanks to physical exhaustion.
-Morning wood came back in a hurry: Within a week or two I was having excellent morning wood every morning.  I had noticed it had completely disappeared during summer 2017.
-Wet dreams are still infrequent (maybe once a month), but their content has generally involved sex with my GF, rather than finding websites with sexy videos.

Now:
-Orgasm rate without condom is probably close to 90%
-In the last 30 days (including today!), have had my first two condom-on orgasms, after probably ~50-75 sex sessions with a condom over 7 years.  It's awesome to get off with a condom.  Much less mess :)
-In the last 30 days, have had several sex sessions without any pharmaceutical assistance.  Doses of Viagra are on their way down.
-Got back together with the GF whose breakup precipitated my discovery of YBOP, and the relationship is doing awesome.
-During sex, I don't have a great desire for my old sexual fetish.  It's definitely still there (been there since I can remember), but it's not to the point that I need it to get hard.  I'm torn about re-introducing it because I don't want to become dependent on it again.  On one hand it'd improve sex even more, on the other she's not into it as much as I am, so dependence is a real possibility.

Anyway, I hope that this post finds and helps someone like me, just like other posts helped me.  I'm not cured yet (still got those damn blue pills), but I'm 10x more confident than I ever have been, and I'm 100x as confident that I'll be getting better going forwards.
« Last Edit: January 28, 2018, 10:06:34 PM by iugejbMADT »

a.n.other

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Re: Made it to 90 Days!
« Reply #1 on: January 31, 2018, 07:29:43 AM »
This is so good to read mate, really inspiring and happy for you!

All the best

14az

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Re: Made it to 90 Days!
« Reply #2 on: January 31, 2018, 04:58:37 PM »
At 82 days hardmode. Hoping another month will do it for me. Any suggestions you did that helped like meditation or cold showers? I can easily stop Pmo as I want to fix pied that bad. 82 days have been easy. Just not being sexual with gf is the depressing part.

14az

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Re: Made it to 90 Days!
« Reply #3 on: January 31, 2018, 04:59:26 PM »
How often are you using pills and how often without?

iugejbMADT

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Re: Made it to 90 Days!
« Reply #4 on: February 03, 2018, 10:09:26 PM »
How often are you using pills and how often without?
Probably about 50/50.  Smaller doses than I'd use before, and far more effective, and my main goal at this point is to reduce and eliminate pills entirely.  To some extent, I suspect they're just placebos at this point, as I've had a couple where I took probably ~10mg viagra, then ended up having very successful sex either before it could possibly be effective (about a minute after I took the pill) or long after its effects would have faded (5+ hours after).  I've also had a bunch of very good sex sessions that happened spontaneously sans drugs where I performed well.

Erection strength and durability is excellent at this point.  When I get hard, it'll stay hard without any tending for a couple minutes.

I'm not cured, but the difference in confidence and ability is amazing.

So though the drugs aren't gone, I'm happy with the measurable metrics that _are_ better:

Before reboot:
-_Every_ sex session had to have me manually stimulating to get it up
-Probably 50% had me fading when the condom went on, requiring more stimulation to re-harden
-75%+ sessions needed indulging in my softcore fetish to help me out.
-_Most_ sex sessions required me to briefly self-stimulate to re-harden
-Had never finished in a condom in dozens of sex sessions
-Masturbating away from computer was hopeless.  The only way I'd get off by myself was in my chair, legs tensed, with something exactly to my liking on the screen.

Since starting reboot:
-Aside from 2 early sessions, every sex session started and finished to the satisfaction of both partners
-Haven't had a condom-application issue at all.  Have even had pre-sex interruptions (I or partner needing a quick cleanup, dogs getting in the way, etc) without loss of hardness
-Haven't actually done a single fetish thing.  This used to be nearly mandatory.  I can tell I'm still into it (have been aware of this since a very young age), but it's no longer necessary to get me sufficiently aroused
-Haven't once had to pause to re-stimulate myself
-Finished in a condom twice.
-M+O is amazingly easy.  In fact, I did it tonight.  Kneeling on my bad with no stimulation or input other than my hand, I went from flaccid to finished in 2 minutes (I could tell because a song was playing in the background, and I finished before the song did).  No floppiness, no weird positions, no toys, no porn.

iugejbMADT

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Re: Made it to 90 Days!
« Reply #5 on: February 04, 2018, 06:55:06 PM »
Had a very successful no-drugs sex today :-)  Was hard before while just cuddling, was hard during condom application, was hard throughout sexing.


14az

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Re: Made it to 90 Days!
« Reply #6 on: February 07, 2018, 08:31:29 AM »
Congrats. I’m at 89 days now. Sometimes I feel like I can have sex other times I feel like it would take a lot of stimulation. MW occasionally but most time no. So you did 90 and it helped this much. Maybe I need 120?

Maximus76

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Re: Made it to 90 Days!
« Reply #7 on: February 10, 2018, 03:11:04 PM »
Congrats man!  8)

iugejbMADT

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Re: Made it to 90 Days!
« Reply #8 on: February 16, 2018, 08:32:03 PM »
Congrats. I’m at 89 days now. Sometimes I feel like I can have sex other times I feel like it would take a lot of stimulation. MW occasionally but most time no. So you did 90 and it helped this much. Maybe I need 120?
I definitely have days where I don't feel like I could have sex, including one day where I called it off during foreplay.  Heck, last night I had a no-drugs sex session (finished with a condom on! yes!) but tonight I didn't feel cuddly at all.  I think it's just the swing of things and I'm not going to let it bother me.

I did notice my morning wood softening a bit a month or so ago, and so I reintroduced some of the foods I'd been trying during my "it's a dietary issue!" theory days.  A shredded-beet smoothie (water + beet + blender.  I'm gross), placebo or not, seemed to help.  PIED is probably the _main_ reason most of us are here, but there are probably other (dietary/stress/self-esteem) reasons too, and I noticed a _ton_ of the success stories tended to address other parts of life.

I also just went on a vacation with the GF, and found that simply being less stressed and not having to work all the time helped a ton.  During my worst ED days when I had just discovered my penis was not fully functional around women, my most successful days were when we just went out and had fun as a couple.  Stress levels being reduced and just enjoying time with my partner was and is highly correlated with successful-by-my-standards-at-the-time sex.

14az

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Re: Made it to 90 Days!
« Reply #9 on: February 18, 2018, 08:58:25 AM »
Good to hear. At 100 days now. Glad you’re doing better. I’ve cut out all artificial stimulants and have been solely focusing on my partner . I do have thoughts and fantasies with her but that’s it. Hopefully this is over soon.

iugejbMADT

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Re: Made it to 90 Days!
« Reply #10 on: February 20, 2018, 06:10:50 PM »
I'll try to shut up so this doesn't turn into a journal, but last night was an important milestone.

GF came over because we were going out an hour later or so, unexpectedly suggested we have sex, and we had it.

What's immensely special is that it wasn't stressful.  She suggested it, and I thought: "oh cool, we get to have sex" rather than "oh shit, I sure hope the little soldier gets it up".  The last couple times I've done a no-drugs sex, I'd been expecting it.  So I would make sure I ate right, hydrated well, rested well before we hung out.  This time, I was fully not expecting it since we'd had the opportunity in the morning and she declined.

Came with a condom on, making it the 3rd time in my life I've done that.  Notably, all 3 times have come in the last 2 months.  A new mild problem is that I finished a bit early, but that's a much better problem than not being able to perform.  Being joyful and having fun during sex is totally new to me, so I'll probably have a bit of PE while I get used to this new reality.

I'm pulling for everyone else.  I've probably had an easier time than most since my porn habit wasn't quite as bad and I had a supportive GF, but you guys can do it, and it's worth it.  I cannot believe the night-and-day difference since I started my reboot.

Before: I needed to be rested, hydrated, well-fed, loaded with viagra, and at exactly the right time of day to be sure I'd perform.
Today: I can be surprised by my partner being horny after a long day of exercise, and I can perform.

iugejbMADT

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Re: Made it to 90 Days!
« Reply #11 on: July 31, 2018, 06:44:56 AM »
9-ish month update: Everything just keeps working better.  The last couple sex events with myself and my girlfriend have been at whatever time we want, haven't depended on me being rested or drugged, and my GF has started actually calling me the horny side of the relationship.  I've gotten myself up without even touching myself, and kept myself up during foreplay while paying attention to her, not me.

DE is a thing of the past: I have finished every single time we've had sex in the last 1-2 months, even with condoms on.  They're not even a barrier to sensation anymore, it feels like.

Still very slightly on the PE side of things, because I'm still getting used to sex being a joyful, awesome thing rather than a stressful potential relationship-ender.

Do or die

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Re: Made it to 90 Days!
« Reply #12 on: August 04, 2018, 12:33:02 AM »
congrats
Its not about stopping. Its about to accept that you are stopped it.

iugejbMADT

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Re: Made it to 90 Days!
« Reply #13 on: September 11, 2020, 07:16:33 PM »
I guess this is nearly a 3-year update?

I'm now married to the GF mentioned in the first post.

Everything is wonderful.  When she's horny I'm up immediately (often about 10 seconds after the opportunity for sex is announced) and without needing any mental or physical preparation.  Usually I'm the horny one.  Absolutely no fear of not performing.  Any time of day, any location, vanilla sex or my formerly-preferred less-vanilla sex.  Vanilla sex is probably even more rewarding than what I used to consider my ideal sex.

-No pharmaceuticals - I don't even remember when my pfizer prescription ran out, but I didn't actually finish the refills
-No time-of-day restrictions
-No "I'm exhausted" or "I'm dehydrated" restrictions - sure I might get a leg cramp in certain positions, but we've had sex after huge hikes, after running races, after simply forgetting to eat or drink.  We've had sex when I probably drank too much, we seem to be able to have sex whenever, wherever, in any temperature.
-One thing I love is that all parts of my brain now agree that my wife is the most amazing person ever.  I'm intellectually pretty sure there are other "people" that are more conventionally beautiful like digitally-edited models and pornstars, but my lizard brain that allocates the blood doesn't know about them anymore.  My lizard brain finally also knows that my wife is smart and gorgeous and amazing.  What I'm saying here is that even though she's the exact same woman as she was during my ED issues (when she was already gorgeous to my conscious human brain), my lizard brain has been retrained for at least the last two years to see her as basically the most amazing-looking woman on the planet as well.

So anyone that's recently discovered reboot nation or YBOP and thinks the diagnosis fits them, keep at it.  It's completely worth it and you won't miss porn.  Even if you're single, masturbation is logistically far easier when you don't need a computer, phone, and can do it wherever using your imagination.  And when you find someone, you'll have confidence.  I remember when I started the reboot I was like "there's no way people just _know_ they'll be good to have sex during foreplay" and now I have to worry about accidentally injuring my little guy rolling around.  I remember _any_ little hiccup like having to fetch a toy or supply being doom to our chances of doing the deed, and now I just have complete confidence.

A thing that's globally frustrating is the thought that this won't get much scientific study or coverage because people are embarassed about their problem.  I'm not going to go talk to the local paper and say "I am iugejbMADT, and my penis didn't work until I gave up porn".  It remains a complete night-and-day change since I stopped porn, and I imagine this problem is widespread and underreported.
« Last Edit: September 11, 2020, 07:23:42 PM by iugejbMADT »

mousemat1

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Re: Made it to 90 Days!
« Reply #14 on: September 12, 2020, 02:14:51 AM »
Thank you so much for this. It's great to hear you have completely healed.

brandon1984

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Re: Made it to 90 Days!
« Reply #15 on: November 21, 2020, 01:38:32 PM »
i appreciate your update. Thanks for making the light at the end of the tunnel even more bright!!