Author Topic: The party is over  (Read 2647 times)

seneca

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Re: The party is over
« Reply #100 on: March 25, 2018, 10:15:11 AM »
Day 65.  Phew.  Got through that.  Got out of the house most of the afternoon.   Nothing better. This disease thrives in privacy.  Don’t give it any.  Being alone in the house with the shades drawn. Ugh.  No thanks. 

seneca

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Re: The party is over
« Reply #101 on: March 26, 2018, 09:27:58 AM »
Day 66. No p. No m   No psubs.   But I am starting down the track to hell with fantasies stored in my brain.  Of course I can’t o that for three hours, and I only have a few.  But does my reward center know the difference.   Well, back to work today, so no more alone time.

Detente

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Re: The party is over
« Reply #102 on: March 26, 2018, 10:12:43 PM »
Inspiring, Seneca! I like this quote of yours: "It’s hard to fantasize about someone you’ve humanized.  Especially at our level, we need weird and novel.  If you look at the girl and think of her struggles and heartbreaks and platonic joys, then it’s much more difficult to go weird. But pixels are fair game."
I have not PMO'd since March 23, 2017.* My current goal is to reach the end of November 2017 PMO-free.

*But M'd after sex chats with a woman in October and November 2017.

joepanic

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Re: The party is over
« Reply #103 on: March 26, 2018, 10:49:54 PM »
Conrats on over 2 months now  Seneca   Its now a battle more of finding replacements for old habits    Great that we see the triggers and when things pop into our heads  we know were in the middle of the battle and must fight on to victory    Keep working   and busy  Do you think picking a date to treat yourself out somewhere might help   a chance to look back and see your progress  and think about your strategies   rest a little to continue the fight    I almost did that   and probably would have if I didnt get some unexpected extra work to do that kept me busy enough tokeep my mind  working elsewhere     perhaps something to think about

     In the meantime  fight the good fight    and post often  it helps me it helps you

seneca

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Re: The party is over
« Reply #104 on: March 26, 2018, 11:45:47 PM »
Thanks Detente. Knowing that I have inspired someone is the gold standard for support. Not only am I being watched, but I am being relied on. What a great feeling.

seneca

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Re: The party is over
« Reply #105 on: March 26, 2018, 11:52:12 PM »
Jp, once again you read my mind.  My usual activities, music, golf, physical training, are all off limits to me since my shoulder surgery last week.  So I am filling the time with more work, and, uh, hmmm, I definitely have a problem to solve. I’ve been trying to catch up on 29 years of Simpson’s episodes. I need to get some healthier routine going.
I’m a big fan of rewards.  Mine are usually coffee based.  I love the stuff. 

seneca

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Re: The party is over
« Reply #106 on: March 27, 2018, 06:39:53 PM »
Day 67.  I used to take my iPad into the bathroom at work, and thirty minutes would go by like it was seconds.  Then I’d sneak out thinking nobody had noticed I’d been in the friggin John for half an hour.
That is not how I want to live this one life I have.

joepanic

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Re: The party is over
« Reply #107 on: March 28, 2018, 08:41:24 AM »
Wow  I remember a few instances like that back  almost 30 years ago working in a restaurant   our guys bathroom in the back of the kitchen  was just  the single can and sink with   a locking door   I remember being in it for 20-30 minutes at that time as we had bikini calendar girls all over the walls   Thank God my mom taught me to wash my hands  every time  i used the rest room who knew 30 years later I would still spend  hours looking at girls   and unfortunately guys and trans (no offense to other identities  but I am straight)     Thank God we are slowly breaking these old patterns    Good to see your counting off the days to 67 already     Our stories are so much alike   its good to have someone to  run the marathon with    Keep it up   your not fr behind me  and someone will be close behind you  and I know I am close behind  someone  ahead of me    the  Finish line awaits


      Fight  the good fight and post often it helps me it helps you

seneca

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Re: The party is over
« Reply #108 on: March 28, 2018, 11:15:36 PM »
Day 68.  Thanks jp.  My behavior with porn was weird enough.  My behavior with women was gross.  Not a lot to be proud of there.  Jus happy to get some distance. 

Cage Faraday

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    NO QUARTER - NO HALF MEASURES
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Re: The party is over
« Reply #109 on: March 29, 2018, 07:34:00 AM »
Day 68.  Thanks jp.  My behavior with porn was weird enough.  My behavior with women was gross.  Not a lot to be proud of there.  Jus happy to get some distance.
Congrats on 68, a job well done.
The journey of a thousand miles...

seneca

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Re: The party is over
« Reply #110 on: March 29, 2018, 11:03:49 AM »
Day 69.  Busy as hell with work.  Getting exhausted again so I’ll back off a bit today. 

seneca

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Re: The party is over
« Reply #111 on: March 30, 2018, 09:22:44 AM »
Day 70.  Back to normal.  Feeling pretty damned good.  I can feel the delta fos b just flaking off my brain. Just kidding. Though it’s probably happening.

joepanic

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Re: The party is over
« Reply #112 on: April 17, 2018, 09:39:37 PM »
Hey Seneca  are ya still with us    hows things

seneca

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Re: The party is over
« Reply #113 on: April 21, 2018, 10:20:13 AM »
Why thanks for asking, jp.  I had shoulder surgery which meant several days on my back and none of my usual activities.  No work, golf, music, hiking, gym. Just me, oxycodone, alone in the house all day......and you can probably see where this is going.  I ended up jerking off like a monkey to every bit of porn on the internet.  Now that I’ve used it all up,  I’m on Day 12.

JedClampett

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Re: The party is over
« Reply #114 on: April 21, 2018, 08:40:09 PM »
When we whip PMO, the PARTY is starting right now...OK!!!

joepanic

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Re: The party is over
« Reply #115 on: April 23, 2018, 08:02:51 AM »
Seneca   Sorry to here that misfortune   But really glad to here your getting up and  taking another shot   I'll keep checking  your posts to cheer you on   Wont be long and the days will tick by into weeks   and finally months to forever   We all know we have quit and relapsed more than once and we  have also seen the success stories  Lets all become  another success story


      Cheers    post often it helps you it helps me

JedClampett

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Re: The party is over
« Reply #116 on: April 23, 2018, 02:18:38 PM »
JoePanic:

Yes, it is good for us to quit PMO.  Please remind me that it is good for others that I do so as well.
This is a disease that effects all men.  Because of that it also effects women and children.
We can be role models.

Karzam

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Re: The party is over
« Reply #117 on: April 23, 2018, 02:34:17 PM »
Bad luck Seneca - these things happen though, it's just a question of how you bounce back. How's it going so far?

Karzam

seneca

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Re: The party is over
« Reply #118 on: May 18, 2018, 12:47:24 AM »
Ok, dammit. I’m back. Day 5. Geez why do I feel humiliated in front of you guys?  Crazy. Please let me know which one of you has not failed. That’ll make me feel better.

ralenty

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Re: The party is over
« Reply #119 on: May 18, 2018, 03:23:24 AM »
Hi Seneca, I feel the same way....48 days and bumm! relapsed.....but I also feel that something definitely changed since my first serious attempt (the one that lasted 48 days). The thing is that I completely missed one point during my first attempt. I was obsessed with the idea of counting the days. As far as I get another day sober, that´s enough.....but now I realized that the change must be structural and actually counting the days ain´t matter that much.....I humbly think that this addiction has a lot to do with how we organize our mind and approach our thoughts and urges.....we´ll keep talking.....nevertheless Seneca, we´re together again...we´ll beat this shit....peace

seneca

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Re: The party is over
« Reply #120 on: May 19, 2018, 10:42:38 AM »
Thanks R, I think you’re right about the day counting. If I am committed to quitting for good, then day counting is irrelevant. 

Tom65

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Re: The party is over
« Reply #121 on: May 19, 2018, 02:52:24 PM »
Thanks R, I think you’re right about the day counting. If I am committed to quitting for good, then day counting is irrelevant.

Thats a good sign! Not feeling that you need a set amount of days!
Most be awesome to feel that!

Tom
The very best
Tom65
Sorry for my bad English its not my native