Author Topic: quit for good  (Read 6521 times)

changemylife

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Re: quit for good
« Reply #175 on: February 10, 2019, 01:00:45 PM »
Yes, well done for stepping back from the edge Joepanic. I speak as one who sometimes launches himself headlong over it without pause for thought. As Prodigal Son says, best to keep away.

Stay strong!
Yeah, I was the guy who jumped into edging without thinking, acting on impulse, only realizing I was watching porn and jerking off after a few minutes. I stopped and scolded myself: "Didn't you say you was gonna quit? Now what the fuck are you doing?" But, with practice, now I'm able to see it coming. I no more start edging on autopilot, I can actually stop and think about it.

joepanic

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Re: quit for good
« Reply #176 on: February 10, 2019, 10:10:27 PM »
  Day 70    Hey guys  thanks for the support   havent been on in  a few days  but thats mainly due to a huge workload but the project is going well  which seems to help   last week while I got close to crashing  I must say I did not beat the meat edging myself  or anything like that  which I am grateful for   again I have a busy week ahead which should help keep me on the straight and narrow

       Hope all are winning

                Post often it helped me it will help you

joepanic

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Re: quit for good
« Reply #177 on: February 13, 2019, 08:17:22 AM »
Day 73  no pmo no mo no o  weather sucks  too much work to do   no time to pop in here as often as i was

    post often it helped me it will help you n

joepanic

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Re: quit for good
« Reply #178 on: February 18, 2019, 10:52:41 AM »
So I was typing out a long entry here sort of explaining whats been going on the last little while and the dam thing just disappeared   I have had this happen before and it has outright pissed me off anyone else had it happen  Dont know if its my computer or this site  but its most frustrating
   perhaps I'll try later  I'm just too mad now to type

   day 78  no pmo no mo  over 2 weeks since o with wife

    Post often it helped me it will help you

BeerMan

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Re: quit for good
« Reply #179 on: February 18, 2019, 01:02:44 PM »
Happened to me a couple weeks ago.  Took me over an hour to write what was on my mind and it only got the beginning.   Aggravating.

joepanic

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Re: quit for good
« Reply #180 on: February 19, 2019, 09:21:58 AM »
Day 79 of current reboot   still gonna find the time to post some more thoughts but for now way too busy with a work project  meantime  no pmo no mo  and only o with a romp with the wife last night

      Post often it helped me it will help you

joepanic

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Re: quit for good
« Reply #181 on: February 20, 2019, 08:48:02 AM »
Day 80 of no pmo no mo no p  exc   still not much to report  way too busy with work at the moment

     Post often it helped me it will help you

joepanic

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Re: quit for good
« Reply #182 on: February 20, 2019, 12:29:10 PM »
2nd posting for Just read another  Prodigal sons posting and it gave me a little something to write about and reflect on.    He had mentioned about having a small win fall in another area of his life that perked him up and  one of his 1st thoughts was  to go for a pmo  as in the past  victories  he achieved were quite often rewarded with a pmo session   I too experienced this in the past and I still experience this thought now  even 80 days into a reboot 

 The tendency  to reward ourselves in natural  the idea though needs to be to find some other form of reward  I have taken to  going out for a nice lunch   Although this goes against my new life a little  bit due to  having a greatly improved diet and being much more efficient with my money  We all need to sometimes pick what the mot important battle that needs to be fought  and in my case its elimination of pmo   I have always been told my dad  do whats right 90% of the time and the other 10 does not matter  so much  So by eating right and spending my money right 90% of the time  I have seen great improvements in both my health  and  finances   the indiscretion of a less than perfectly healthy meal  for a few bucks extra  allows me to say I'm not perfect but that's ok  because no one is   This is actually almost allowing me to  move back to a life i had before pmo   A life I did quite enjoy   reminds me of some good times of being in my early 20s and being carefree  while still becoming a better man father and husband today

     The other thought that has come through my mind recently was that at this point in time(80 days in)  I have thought   I could probably look at a bit of p and be fine   I wont call them urges  because I experienced no anxiety  or anything like that  just the thoght that after 80 days  I am strong enough to have a look   At the same time I have enough tools in my head to rework the thought to asking questions  of myself 

1.   Haven't I been here before?                      answer  Yes   small conclusion.... it led right back to pmo
2    Dont't  I want to be stronger than that ?    answer  Yes   small conclusion....for a great many reasons  not just eliminate pmo
3    Am I being honoust with myself  than  ?     answer  No    small conclusion...I would have to start a counter mall over again
4     What about the whole re-wiring process?    answer      I just am not rewired yet if I still have an interest in this stuff

    To me the re wiring is not only about  the  link between  my brain and the possible effect it could  have no my pecker but the fact that I really dont need this kind of stimulation anymore   If my wife and I chose to experiment and put some spice into our lovemaking thats one thing  but  the hours and hours spent looking at this stuff on a screen can never compare to the 1 hour every once in a while  where we might try something different

         so as always

     Post often it helped me it will help you

joepanic

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Re: quit for good
« Reply #183 on: February 21, 2019, 07:39:40 AM »
Day 81   not much to report  other than no pmo no mo no p   only o with wife   busy day again today  will try to pop in later


   Post often it helped me it will help you

BigMog

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Re: quit for good
« Reply #184 on: February 21, 2019, 03:45:24 PM »
Looks like you’re doing well joepanic: 81 Days is impressive.

 Your previous post is interesting. Being able to stop and ask yourself those questions when triggered is a good tool. I’m still working on trying to put mechanisms in place to slow myself down when I get an urge. The urges don’t come that often, even weeks apart, so sometimes I’m unprepared and have “forgotten” that I’m in this fight and have slipped before I can respond more thoughtfully. I guess this is just the opposite problem to those who have a higher libido and are fighting urges all the time which  can wear them down.

I’ve also experienced the feeling of wanting to reward myself but also the opposite, to console myself if I’m stressed or unhappy. And sometimes, just if I’m bored or alone or for no apparent reason other than part of my brain tells me I have to.

Any way thanks for your posts-always a good read.

joepanic

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Re: quit for good
« Reply #185 on: February 21, 2019, 05:20:15 PM »
Just in the midst of a discussion over in the Free Feb Challenge Thread    where someone not involved in it  is somewhat upset that people count the days of there progress.  He seems to feel that those of us who count days  are only using will power to fight our addiction   For me this could be nothing further from the truth.  I read many journals to learn from other guys.  I have watched many videos and  read many articles.   I have wrote down  ideas and information to follow   try a bit of this and a bit of that  had 2 failures in the last year  since deciding that p was holding me back from a fulfilling life  and on this 3rd serious attempt  I have used what I learned from my failures  and improved upon my process.   His posting simply stated that it is proven that willpower alone  will not allow one to  beat the addiction and that  counting days  is equated  to using willpower alone   In the end he seems to be plugging a book  and that the book is the be all and end all to beating this addiction     I can only assume that he has not read my journal to see that I use more than willpower to  fight this addiction  and that counting the days is only part of it  Its a shame that he is "SICK AND TIRED" of seeing some of us guys do it   In the end other than encouraging us to read a book he recommends  he has offered no other  insight into skills tactics and processes to beat the addiction

       AS always  Post often it helped me it will help you

joepanic

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Re: quit for good
« Reply #186 on: February 22, 2019, 07:27:17 AM »
Day 82   no pmo no mo no p  only o with wife    Just over a week to go till the recommended 90 days   I will be running it probably till 100 or 110 days  before I  post anything in the  success stories  as I really want to be sure and even then I think i will continue this  journal at the same time for some time.    I just don't know if success stories is  meant for  reaching 90 days or actually beating the addiction.   I believe  beating this addiction will require much more than just a 90 day fast of pmo    We will see

    in the meantime as always

        Post often it helped me it will help you

Rex

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Re: quit for good
« Reply #187 on: February 22, 2019, 09:48:34 AM »
Day 82   no pmo no mo no p  only o with wife    Just over a week to go till the recommended 90 days   I will be running it probably till 100 or 110 days  before I  post anything in the  success stories  as I really want to be sure and even then I think i will continue this  journal at the same time for some time.    I just don't know if success stories is  meant for  reaching 90 days or actually beating the addiction.   I believe  beating this addiction will require much more than just a 90 day fast of pmo    We will see

    in the meantime as always

        Post often it helped me it will help you

joepanic,

Congratulations for 82 days, that is a great milestone.  Keep up the hard work.  You are correct you are not out of the woods yet continue to remain vigilant and continue the prayer life.  Each day does get easier as you continue further into your reboot.  The key is get to the point where it's second nature to be free from PMO.  I noticed real changes when I went past the 90 day mark and then even bigger changes past the 120 mark.  Think of it as like a journey of leaving a city such as Los Angeles, the farther you get away from Los Angeles the less likely you are to turn around and go back.  With this journey there's no turning back, PMO offers us nothing but misery. 

Keep on trucking, you are doing great!
 
Rex
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workinprogressUK

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Re: quit for good
« Reply #188 on: February 22, 2019, 10:05:41 AM »
Congrats on your progress so far, JP. You're an inspiration to me and I'm hoping that you'll stay in the here and now until your 90 and well beyond. 

joepanic

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Re: quit for good
« Reply #189 on: February 23, 2019, 11:36:20 AM »
Day 83   things looking good no pmo no mo no p  only o with wife  no urges   not affected by triggersI had a huge posting typed out again that "just disappeared"  ready to give up on this sight


joepanic

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Re: quit for good
« Reply #190 on: February 25, 2019, 12:18:57 PM »
Day 85  no pmo no mo no p   only o with wife

         Things going good  not much to report   perhaps later though

     as always

          Post often it helped me it will help you

Rex

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Re: quit for good
« Reply #191 on: February 25, 2019, 01:44:41 PM »
Day 85  no pmo no mo no p   only o with wife

         Things going good  not much to report   perhaps later though

     as always

          Post often it helped me it will help you

Joe,

You are doing awesome!  Day 85 is a very big milestone!  Keep up the great work!

Rex
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joepanic

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Re: quit for good
« Reply #192 on: March 03, 2019, 12:21:43 PM »
Day 91  no pmo no mo no p   only o with wife

     Only here for a moment  still taking in what this 90 days means  going to think  about it for a bit  before sharing my thoughts on it

    as always post often it helped me it will help you

BigMog

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Re: quit for good
« Reply #193 on: March 03, 2019, 01:02:25 PM »
Well done Joepanic!
A great achievement.
I’m sure there are many of us hoping to follow you to 90.

workinprogressUK

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Re: quit for good
« Reply #194 on: March 04, 2019, 08:57:45 AM »
Day 91  no pmo no mo no p   only o with wife

Sincere congratulations, jp. You've sounded like you've had things increasingly under control and on an even keel for a while now. I hope that you continue to enjoy stability and stay off the P. In the meantime, you set yourself a challenge, you've fought hard to achieve your goal.... you owe yourself a celebration, Sir  :)

joepanic

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Re: quit for good
« Reply #195 on: March 04, 2019, 09:16:02 AM »
Day 92   no pmo no mo no p only o with wife

      Thanks guys   feels good to reach this level of  rehab(for lack of a better term)  I suppose the 90 days is more of a detox than anything.     I must say  that I do not feel 100% free of pmo yet   I still had the occasional urge   the memories of pmo are still to recent and  fresh in my mind  and a few of the underlying causes for pmo use are still  lingering   And of course  there is always going to be triggers  and I am questioning if I want to spend the rest of my life  working to avoid them.   More than anything  it was the chat  and sexting that was my biggest issue  as they were filling a certain void  from 15-20 years ago  that seems to be the hardest to kick  but at the moment it seems that that has slowly became a part of my past too

  Over the last year  giving up p   has taken me from a use of  4-5 times a week sometimes for hours  and viewing many things that 25 years ago I would never even thought of  existed ,  visiting dating sites for no real reason other than  some sort of validation at times   to going for the occasional massage(rub n tug)   If roughly 40 of them over the last 20 years  would be considered occasional      Down to perhaps pmo maybe 15 times in all of 2018  and clean since early Dec 2018   And its now been over a year since last  massage   The p i did view mid last year was  quite a bit more tame than previously   I have a much more healthy  attitude  toward sex indeed    I dont know if I can directly attribute this change to  the reboot process or in general for  the last few years it was in my mind that this is not who i was.  In general i think I have always wanted to live a more old fashioned way of life.

   Where am I going now?

         Will continue  to come here and post for several more weeks and reassess  how I feel about my recovery.  The goal is  to pretty much bury  my memory's of past p use  into the past  somewhere deep   Than continue to work on other aspects and areas of my life that I have began  over the last year and have my mind  begin to concentrate not on abstaining from p but  concentrate on achieving  new goals  in those other areas   So I will not be entering success stories for  some time yet  perhaps in a few weeks or s few months  will just  see how I feel  as time goes by


    So as always   Post often it helped me it will help you

joepanic

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Re: quit for good
« Reply #196 on: March 05, 2019, 07:49:53 AM »
Day 93   no pmo no mo no p only o with wife 

  Another day gone   really not much to report on  staying busy with work  and catching up on some things   gonna read a few journals and keep reinforcing  myself

    as always Post often it helped me it will help you