Author Topic: quit for good  (Read 9482 times)

joepanic

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quit for good
« on: January 04, 2018, 08:47:19 AM »
Hey friends     This is a continuation of my post in  porn addiction  as this is more my journal and the other post was sort of mislabeled   So  from now on I will be continuing my journal from here

     as of midnight tonight I will be 14 days free  and I'm feeling pretty good   no real side effects yet   I've been spending my time doing as much reading as I can on the topic and  slowly working on other things round the house to keep busy  I am off work till March so tend to have a lot of free time   The wife and kids are back to school and work this coming Monday when the real test will begin.   Trying to take some time  to find ways to get out of the house and do something meaningful.  I think most of us understand how much we have missed things and forgotten even how to act and live in certain situations   ie  interacting with the public and our friends and family   basically our confidence  to achieve certain level of results is diminished   I believe this could be the hard part in this  so that is where I'm gong to put some of my energies    Will keep you all posted as to how this moves along

      Post often  it helps me it helps you
« Last Edit: December 30, 2018, 02:53:19 AM by joepanic »

joepanic

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Re: Almost 2 weeks in now
« Reply #1 on: January 05, 2018, 10:52:41 AM »
Day 15   feeling pretty good  a few urges  but was able to suppress them by getting myself moving  doing some organizing and working out/exercise   I only have one thought thats been on my mind and if i win this battle   years down the road  will I look back on myself and think only poorly of these years   any thought on it ?

     post often  it helps me it helps you

Overcomer2017

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Re: 15 days now
« Reply #2 on: January 06, 2018, 09:14:11 AM »
Looking back on prior years and deeming them poorly is a pill called regret. I have "taken" this pill for many years and it got me nowhere but living under a negative cloud. For DECADES I regretted not listening to my parents' financial wisdom. It's only been about five years ago when I finally forgave myself. Thinking back poorly of previous times is also a waste of time. Again, I speak from experience. :(

Rock on, joepanic!  ;)

Gunner

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Re: 15 days now
« Reply #3 on: January 06, 2018, 01:31:43 PM »
Good job Joe! Keep it going. It is not easy and takes effort and work. Just 6 days for me as I felt it proper to start on 1/1. I have done it before, once for  six months and another for two. It feels great when your brain is off porn!

EnigmaMan

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Re: 15 days now
« Reply #4 on: January 06, 2018, 04:15:41 PM »
Looking back on prior years and deeming them poorly is a pill called regret. I have "taken" this pill for many years and it got me nowhere but living under a negative cloud. For DECADES I regretted not listening to my parents' financial wisdom. It's only been about five years ago when I finally forgave myself. Thinking back poorly of previous times is also a waste of time. Again, I speak from experience. :(

Rock on, joepanic!  ;)
Indeed, none of us can do a thing about yesterday, its done.  Make today the best you can, seize every opportunity.  The only way through is forward.  You made the decision to be a quitter like the rest of us, that is a positive worth focusing on, regret and self flagellation only leads to a negative self view which easily leads back to PMO.  When Cortez reached the new world, he burned his ships so his men would be focused on moving ahead, not looking to go back.

workingonit

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Re: 15 days now
« Reply #5 on: January 08, 2018, 05:39:06 AM »
Hello Joe,

Good you are working on your addiction.   I like the quote under Enigmaman's post.  That if you put yourself down, it continues your spiral and furthers use. 

I attended my first SAA (Sex Addicts Anonymous) meeting last week.  It was really interesting hearing other stories.  SAA/AA ws set up by christians but the people in my group are not christians.  They follow the SAA steps which seems rigid at first but gives a frame work to work through your problems.  Might be worth looking at?

All the best!

joepanic

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Re: 15 days now
« Reply #6 on: January 08, 2018, 09:52:50 AM »
Hey Guys  thanks for reading  and taking the time to post words of encouragement.   I am now on day  18  and only had a few urges  but was quickly able to suppress them  I also had a dream that I  relapsed  but it was after a month but the dream must have disappeared very quickly  so i'm not giving it any further thought     Today the real test will begin as the house is completely empty  and I know I will have some free time   I'm carefully debating how to fill it  I might go and snowblower out a few neighbours driveways to stay out of the house (we had a fair amount of snow last night and its still snowing)  but its not so cold now   over all I do feel much better these days   and so far  no real side effects  at all   made love to the wife over the weekend   but it was a quicky as the kids were getting up   but it was def a good time      Will try to post later today as to how this 1st day lone is going

      Cheers   post oftewn  it helps me it helps you

Overcomer2017

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Re: 15 days now
« Reply #7 on: January 08, 2018, 03:44:44 PM »
Joe,

How was your day today?

Congrats on Day 18!

I'm on Day 7 and my main distraction--my cat--is asleep, lol. I'm sick, home from work. I just got through an urge. I will say, a flu or really bad cold does wonders for rebooting--seriously!

joepanic

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Re: 15 days now
« Reply #8 on: January 08, 2018, 08:44:03 PM »
Hey Overcomer     My day went well  I went and helped a few people clear their driveways with my snowblower   was good exercise  to boot   Congrats on day 7  keep pushing through with things to do  I find leaving the house really helps   if you have an urge   you probably cant act on it.   I shall be around in the morning  o say hello and I already have a small list of things I need to do

    Cheers

      post often  it helps me it helps you

joepanic

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Re: 15 days now
« Reply #9 on: January 09, 2018, 10:13:01 AM »
Day 19  feeling pretty good    have list of things to do today  to keep busy   hope everyone is well and progressing    sorry this one is short  but gonna go take on some world  i'll pop in later and let ya know how progress is going

    cheers

       post often it helps me it helps you

Overcomer2017

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Re: 15 days now
« Reply #10 on: January 09, 2018, 11:00:02 AM »
Hey joe,

Sounds things are good for you. [thumbs up]  ;)

This flu is actually helping me with rebooting. I am so out of it, I couldn't get a hard-on if I was lost in a sorority  ;D :D. I am going to the doctor's later.

Thanks!

EnigmaMan

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Re: 15 days now
« Reply #11 on: January 09, 2018, 12:28:35 PM »
Hey joe,

Sounds things are good for you. [thumbs up]  ;)

This flu is actually helping me with rebooting. I am so out of it, I couldn't get a hard-on if I was lost in a sorority  ;D :D. I am going to the doctor's later.

Thanks!
Hope you get to feeling better, OC.  Joe keep up the good work, the driveway looks great.  LOL

Overcomer2017

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Re: 15 days now
« Reply #12 on: January 09, 2018, 04:33:15 PM »
Thanks, EnigmaMan.

I felt for a brief moment a sense of cockiness (yeah, pun is intended  ;D) yesterday at making a week without PMO. I started thinking, "Oh! I can handle this. This is easy." I immediately felt a need to be humble. A week without wanking--for me--is great, but this is no time for me beating my chest like King Kong. I know the primary reason I am not doing this is because of this virus. (My doc did a nasal swab and said I do not have the flu, though I do have a virus.) So let me "make lemonade out of lemons" and use this viral bug to my rebooting advantage!

joepanic

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Re: 15 days now
« Reply #13 on: January 10, 2018, 09:10:18 AM »
Wow  were at day 20        2 days ago I reached the 20% of a 90 day reboot and  now I think  this is the 2nd longest I've gone without p in the last probably 10 years    I'm beginning to think my addiction is not as deep as some  as I'm not really having any side effects at all   the 1st week was somewhat of a flat line  though   that seems to have returned to normal   I cant say i ever used more than once in a day   my problem was late at night   sometimes 3  4 or 5 hour sessions at a time  or when off work  it could start at 10 am and end just before the kids were coming home at 4 pm and I was so bothered by the total loss of a day   as this had gone on for years    usually 4  5  or 6 times a week   I cant imagine counting the hours and  calculating the lost time to this.   But anyway  here we are at day 20   at midnight tomorrow night  it will be 3 weeks    Have a pretty good list of things to accomplish today   so gonna get at it     Will try to keep everyone posted as to how things are going

      Good luck to everyone in there battles     We can all win in the end

                      Cheers   Post often it helps me it helps you

EnigmaMan

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Re: 15 days now
« Reply #14 on: January 10, 2018, 09:15:52 AM »
Thanks, EnigmaMan.

I felt for a brief moment a sense of cockiness (yeah, pun is intended  ;D) yesterday at making a week without PMO. I started thinking, "Oh! I can handle this. This is easy." I immediately felt a need to be humble. A week without wanking--for me--is great, but this is no time for me beating my chest like King Kong. I know the primary reason I am not doing this is because of this virus. (My doc did a nasal swab and said I do not have the flu, though I do have a virus.) So let me "make lemonade out of lemons" and use this viral bug to my rebooting advantage!
Yeah, there is a virus going around, made a shambles of my wife's work.  The employee health nurse said she knew of some people taking 6 weeks to fully recover.  Wife is on week #2, just finished a steroid and antibiotic she got for the ear infection it caused...  That was good you realized you were getting cocky.  What is it they say, "Pride goeth before a fall", never more true than when dealing with PMO, I can attest.  I'm on my 8th day this run, it was quiet the first 7, I don't have or watch regular TV so I get my news and what not from youtube.  The cool thing about youtube(I know it has some very bad stuff too) is it knows what I typically watch and recommends similar videos/shows.  Until yesterday all my recommendations made sense, then as if on Que it started recommending things I don't need to watch, funny how that can happen.  I didn't go looking for stuff and it still came looking for me, "Hello, Satan".  Always be on your guard and be humble, just like you said.

Overcomer2017

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Re: 15 days now
« Reply #15 on: January 10, 2018, 11:48:16 AM »
Wow! Six weeks. Hope Mrs. EnigmaMan feels better.

Yep, pride goeth before the fall.

Congrats to you!!

joepanic

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Re: 15 days now
« Reply #16 on: January 11, 2018, 09:45:53 AM »
And now we begin day 21   3 weeks   almost a 3rd of the way  had a few small urges and  thoughts last night while in bed   rock hard for some time and woke up that way    was able to put them out of my mind and curl up close to the  wife(she never seems o mind that....deep sleeper sometimes)  have a nice list of things to do today  and keep busy as well as training for work coming up in next few weeks  so more things to fill up the time   all seems good so far

    Hope all are well  and winning the battle

      cheers

         post often it helps me it helps you

EnigmaMan

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Re: 15 days now
« Reply #17 on: January 14, 2018, 12:12:40 PM »
And now we begin day 21   3 weeks   almost a 3rd of the way  had a few small urges and  thoughts last night while in bed   rock hard for some time and woke up that way    was able to put them out of my mind and curl up close to the  wife(she never seems o mind that....deep sleeper sometimes)  have a nice list of things to do today  and keep busy as well as training for work coming up in next few weeks  so more things to fill up the time   all seems good so far

    Hope all are well  and winning the battle

      cheers

         post often it helps me it helps you
You are doing very well and 21 is a common sticky spot due to brain chemistry changes.  Keep doing what your doing, every day is a new day.

joepanic

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Re: 15 days now
« Reply #18 on: January 16, 2018, 04:19:59 PM »
Thanks for the encouragement guys

       Sorry  I havent been on for a few days  but its still going well   Ive faced a few temptations  alot of morning wood with my hand wanting to drift down  and thoughts about  my wife ) but not about  porn   which i suppose is good   in 2 days it will be day 28   4 weeks  wow  almost a 3rd of the way through a 90 day reboot    I think its getting easier now    The thought to surf porn does pop into my head and I usually go through the   maybe i should surf it just to kill time  but I'm slowely starting to develop new habits  and find things to quickly  put the thought out of my mind   I do hope that in the future my mind just automatically  says  lets do this  or lets do that   and its something productive and serves a better purpose    perhaps in time


      Thanks for all the comments and encouragement and hope everyone is doing well on the battlefield


       cheers        post often it helps me it helps you
« Last Edit: December 29, 2018, 09:51:36 PM by joepanic »

joepanic

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Re: 15 days now
« Reply #19 on: January 21, 2018, 11:46:33 PM »
Hey guys  here we are at day 31   made love to the wife sat morning and all was well     (its good I'm down 6 lbs  since Jan 1st      Hope all are progressing in their battles



    I;ll try to listen to my own words and post a little more often and read a little more often others posts

         Cheers

             Post often it helps me and it helps you
« Last Edit: December 29, 2018, 09:53:39 PM by joepanic »

unchained

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Re: 15 days now
« Reply #20 on: January 22, 2018, 05:06:25 PM »
Congratulations making it past a month.  You are doing great.

joepanic

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Re: 15 days now
« Reply #21 on: January 24, 2018, 09:16:56 AM »
Hey Hey  we are entering day 34   been doing good on the workout in the gym   eating better   and no urges at all  i'm quite surprised  by this  getting morning wood on and off   which has always been normal for me   gonna go take on some world today

     Hope all are doing well


      Post often it helps me it helps you

seneca

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Re: 15 days now
« Reply #22 on: January 24, 2018, 10:06:39 AM »
Man, this is good stuff, jp.  I’m following you.

joepanic

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Re: 15 days now
« Reply #23 on: January 25, 2018, 11:30:10 AM »
And were entering Day 35  its odd as its almost too easy   I'm hoping that all of a sudden I dont  get to a point where   wham  you get blindsided    I suppose it helps I'm keeping really busy  I have seen a few "provocative" imaged  and just ensured that  I could surf away from them   Nothing outright nude and no video
They really had no effect on me (although my wife def does)  which I suppose is good     I will keep posting my thoughts and observaions and reading your


                   Cheers    Post often it helps me it helps you

joepanic

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Re: 15 days now
« Reply #24 on: January 26, 2018, 09:39:30 AM »
starting day 36

      i'm reading and responding to a few posts   should be an easy day i think as the kids are off school and home today   Small challenge will be tonight as its friday  and weekend nights were quite often a problem   and wife is feeling a bit under the weather   so I dont think I'll be chasing her around too much    let you all know how it goes later


      cheers     post often it helps me it helps you