Author Topic: New to this. Need some encouragement.  (Read 693 times)

jdecker17

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New to this. Need some encouragement.
« on: December 22, 2017, 11:02:50 AM »
I have been on all the sites reading your journals and finally decided to join.  In my mind, I feel I don't have as big an issue(2-3 times a month) as a lot of people but it is definitely affecting my relationship with my wife.  As a recovering alcoholic of 12 years, I still am great at deflecting blame, comparing, and minimizing my issues as you can tell.  I have a problem and I know it.  When I do PM and O without my wife, the guilt and remorse that I felt when I drank returns.  It is definitely a thinking disease, just like alcohol.  I make a decision to do it, then I do.  I need help.  Everyone on this site is amazingly supportive to each other and I hope that I can be help to someone suffering. Here is a little about me:

41 years old
Married for 17 years to a gorgeous woman and have two kids together
Been together for 22 years and she is more beautiful now than when I met her
The ONLY issue we have is my PMO
Grateful for sobriety, now it's time to work on PMO

I know this is a one day at a time program like AA but this is harder because I have tried to quit on my own and I don't have meetings to go to.  I need this forum and all of you!

IWantToLive

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Re: New to this. Need some encouragement.
« Reply #1 on: December 22, 2017, 11:17:58 AM »
Welcome to the forum JD!

We are all here in similar situations, and are seeking and providing support.

You might want to start with reflecting on why you haven't been successful with removing PMO habit in the past and work from there, step by step. Making P inaccessible is one first such step, which can be done by installing p blockers.

Remember, this is one tough habit to kick out, if you have been conditioned too long.

But, people have rebooted successfully and no reason we can't do that with enough effort.

Best wishes, and keep writing and sharing,

-I
When the going gets tough, the tough get going

jdecker17

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Re: New to this. Need some encouragement.
« Reply #2 on: December 23, 2017, 10:50:30 AM »
Thank you for the encouraging words.  My PMO comes out of boredom and easy accessibilty.  Wife could be at work on the weekends and I am watching the kids, it is easy to sneak away. I have filters on most of my devices but they are easy to remove.  Our tv is a big culprit as it is a smart tv and I can't find a filter that works for it.  That is where I get into the most trouble.  I don't even know why I start but I feel terrible afterward. The guilt builds up and I take it out on my family through anger.  I am ready to be done with the insanity and I know that is a first step, admitting I am powerless.  Being accountable and sharing the struggles works. It worked for me with alcohol and I know it will work with this, I just have to be willing.

workingonit

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Re: New to this. Need some encouragement.
« Reply #3 on: January 10, 2018, 05:17:26 AM »
Hello JDecker

How goes it???

You have not been around for a while, are you still working on your recovery? 

Let me know, make contact!

Cheers!