Finally told my Wife/ Got A sponsor/ free Recovery group

Ok well i finally told my wife after years of not saying anything but i couldn?t take it anymore and keeping it. In secret was just allowing me to relapse without real pressure and made me continue with my actions thinking i could do it alone. So she flipped out. Most likely hates me. Doesnt want a relationship with me at all. Now shes trying to help me as much as she could but its hard because of her feelings of betrayal and not wanting to hear too much about this issue.  I went to see a therapist, he said he can be my sponser. Which is great, He?s easy to talk to.

I also been listening to a podcast. That said its just not enough sometimes to have a therapist you can speak to sometimes.. or a GF or wife who cant take or understand everything that you say so its not the safest route. He has a group you can join, but it costs, of course. So i started my own now, had one before but no one was really dedicated. So this one is on an app,thats not porrelated..  with documents on info, as well as recovery steps and tools, group chat, voice call meetings, check in tasks, milestones ect.. we all create a recovery plan which i heard about from the porn free recovery plan that never fails... i feel alot of ppl are just white knuckling . (Trying to avoid porn until a relapse) instead of actually retraining the brain to kill the urges and fight the addiction. Its a process that took place in the brain when we got addicted, theres a process to retain it back. And if anyone?s at their rock bottom like me, losing my family and sanity, and is at their lost end and willing to really commit to beating this together then just hit me up. Lets work, lets get clean.

As a wife, your post is really amazing. I think it is courageous of you, to be honest.  I know she is upset, and reasonably so, but give her time. Don't give up. Keep talking, keep sharing with her your heart for healing for yourself and for the relationship. Just as it took years to create the damage, it can take a year to repair it. Secrecy only feeds the porn pathways of shame and destruction. Honestly is really the first big step in true recovery. Most women who find out by their partner being honest, even after years of hiding, most stay and try to repair the relationship. That is because by you telling her you are showing her that you want to heal. It is so much harder when women find out the other way, trust me, lol.

I would also encourage you to show her this forum and the partners section. I know that a lot of men view the partner's section as a less than the helpful place but I will say that it has made a huge difference in my recovery. I seriously don't think I could have gotten through this last year and a half without that space and the ability to have a safe place to share my heart, emotions, and be encouraged. There is also a lot of great books that have helped a lot. If there is ever anything I can do to encourage you or your wife please reach out. I am happy to do whatever I can!

This really gives me hope that I can rebuild my marriage. Thank you!  My husband hasn't yet told me the truth about his troubles with porn but over the years I have suspected something was wrong. My mind went to the worst place and I thought he was having an affair. After finding this site on our web browser my suspicions were confirmed. I'm not sure how to deal with this. He is still very afraid to tell me the truth and I was wondering if there is something I can do to help him understand that our marriage is something I will always fight for. Do I back off and tell him I believe him? Or do I stick with the facts and fight for my marriage? Any advice from wives or rebooters would mean the world to me.

Just wanted to check in with you Cage03. How is it going? Just thinking of you and your wife and hoping that good communication is happening.

Hey story sound very similar to mine. Watched the film over 18 very good documentary about porn and it's effects on users. Got home and my wife asked how I was doing as I had had issues with porn in the past.i was sick of it and ready to come clean so I did. It's been rough but I'm 3 months porn free.  Seing a therapist now with my wife things are getting better. It been good to get it out in open. This is my first post on this site and I think it will help to talk about this problem .Some days are tougher than others but I know I can kick this .Thanks for putting it out there keep strong.