Author Topic: Opinion piece on Sexual harassent  (Read 2141 times)

Gracie

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Opinion piece on Sexual harassent
« on: November 19, 2017, 08:36:20 AM »
I found this on internet today, a good place to start to turning the tide!
Showing there could  be another way to be!

http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2017/11/18/want-sexual-misconduct-by-men-to-stop-start-by-cracking-down-on-boys-easy-access-to-internet-porn.html
« Last Edit: November 19, 2017, 08:38:18 AM by Gracie »

malando

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Re: Opinion piece on Sexual harassent
« Reply #1 on: November 19, 2017, 09:04:02 AM »
Would be great if they could actually enact this. I feel like kids are fed to the wolves by easy access to porn (it was introduced to me, I was not looking for it). It creates a medicated state based on constant arousal. It does a young mind nothing but damage - when I look at all the comments below that article, there is a resounding ignorance about what porn does to the brain. They think it's just a censorship/freedom thing, but it's really a neurological/sociological thing.

Gracie

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Re: Opinion piece on Sexual harassent
« Reply #2 on: November 19, 2017, 09:28:17 AM »
I also think it has to do with our culture.  Women are taught from birth we are imperfect.  We wear clothes at birth to "look cute and adorable".  Then we start hearing if you wore your hair this way "you could be beautiful".  Then we are taught to wear makeup "to look beautiful".  Then we are taught as our bodies change we must wear form fitting clothes to look attractive.  And we must be skinny but wth huge boobs to attract boys.  Then we must wear less clothes to look sexy and appealing.  Then come creams and plastic surgery to look young no matter our real age.

Boys?  Pants and shirt, be clean.

WTF?
« Last Edit: November 19, 2017, 06:14:54 PM by Gracie »

Emerald Blue

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Re: Opinion piece on Sexual harassent
« Reply #3 on: November 20, 2017, 08:21:40 PM »
I believe there are some very serious issues facing next generation of girls and young women that aren’t being considered when we look at the potential damage of this constant access to porn and the attitudes and beliefs about women it appears to promote.

Through popular culture, the fashion and style industries, the cult of celebrity etc, girls are already growing up with constant little droplets about how they ought to look, what the perfect body should be, what to wear, how to look sexy or hot or whatever. Over the past several decades we’ve seen a whole industry devoted to women’s weight loss. You can’t go into a supermarket without seeing magazine covers about being “beach body ready” or how to “drop two dress sizes”. Many women have disordered attitudes towards eating, appetite, food etc. If a woman at work says she’s on a diet or trying to lose weight, we don’t see it as unusual because it’s “normal” now for women to be “on a diet” — meaning specifically a weight loss diet. Many women wear shoes that hurt their feet and give them backache, and they just accept it as the price of wearing heels. Push up bras are rarely comfortable, and who would want to wear a thong considering how unhygienic they are and can actually provide a breeding ground that increases the risk of bladder infections. And all this has been going on before the impact of internet porn.

Since the ubiquity of internet pornography it’s now de rigeur for a woman to have a permanently hairless vulva, which is an almost unrealistic expectation considering that all hair removal methods are temporary so women these days are undertaking a high maintenance, time consuming and often expensive way of making sure they don’t offend a potential mate with the presence of a pubic hair. OK, some men will say they don’t expect this of their partner, but they tend to be older and grew up learning about sex the ‘hands on’ way, but some younger guys say they won’t have sex with a girl with pubic hair. So there you see a pretty big cultural shift And now you get women having a Brazilian wax as a Valentine’s gift for their partners. I mean, WTF! Why is having your hair ripped out by the roots any kind of “gift”?

We’re also seeing things like anal bleaching (WTF for?), labiaplasty (because porn favours women with the small labia minor of an underdeveloped female). More recently there’s an increasing trend for these artificial massive butts. Again, what is the point? Boob jobs are becoming more commonplace and since we’ve had the cult of the 36GGs or whatever in porn, which then feeds into poplar culture, celebrity culture, etc, there are girls as young as 18 having augmentations, and I’ve even heard of girls having a boob job as an 18th birthday gift from their parents. It’s crazy that we’ve ended up here as a culture.

The easy access to more extreme genres on tube sites is also affecting sexual relationships and activities, and it’s as if young women are performing sex, or expected perform sex, rather than a shared mutual experience, and they report being asked to engage in activities they don’t really want to — often involving some degree of violence or unpleasantness.

If anything, I see more and more pressures on girls and young women than ever to be hot, sexy, available and up for anything. There are more pressures on their appearance, body shape, everything. As if their appearance is what makes them valuable. Or not — in which case we see young women falling into dieting, eating disorders, depression, negative self image.  I don’t see this getting any better.

I’m certainly on board with regard to the toxic influences of internet porn on young men and boys. We already know that the prevalence of erectile dysfunction in the younger demographic has been documented, and we know that porn influences the negative ways they may regard women and sex. I mean, as partners we have seen the negative effects in the older demographic who didn’t grow up with internet porn AND the negative effects on us, the female partners. WE know what healthy sexuality is and we know it’s not porn or anything like it. Porn culture is not going to be good for the next generation of women, and their daughters. if we don’t educate adults and kids alike about sex and healthy sexuality and to question the unreality that pornography represents. I would agree wholeheartedly on restricting access to the extent that there is no free porn, that it all has to exist behind an age-restricted paywall where people have to verify their identity. In the past people had to buy their magazines and videos from a store, or be an adult to get into a movie theatre showing “blue movies”. If people want it they should pay for it and thereby reduce its negative impacts. Whether that’s compatible with the current business models or even realistic at present, I don’t know. But that’s my opinion on how it’s harmful effects can be minimised.
« Last Edit: November 20, 2017, 08:36:51 PM by Emerald Blue »
His porn addiction: you didn't cause it - you can't control it - you can't cure it

Kimba

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Re: Opinion piece on Sexual harassent
« Reply #4 on: December 01, 2017, 12:13:21 AM »
Seems like more and more coming out of the woodwork, not surprised one little bit... I bet if u really dug into these men’s lives I wonder what U would find on their internet history !!   
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malando

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Re: Opinion piece on Sexual harassent
« Reply #5 on: December 01, 2017, 05:25:40 AM »
Seems like more and more coming out of the woodwork, not surprised one little bit... I bet if u really dug into these men’s lives I wonder what U would find on their internet history !!
It's very depressing to see how many men are being exposed as creeps - some of them pillars of the community. I feel like I can't trust anyone at the moment!

aquarius25

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Re: Opinion piece on Sexual harassent
« Reply #6 on: December 01, 2017, 11:23:20 AM »
I had an interesting conversation with my sister the other day and we both came to the realization that neither of us knows a single woman who has never experienced some form of sexual harassment. Literally, every woman I know for the most part has been harassed to some degree. Whether it be disgusting catcalls to actual horrific rape. It has become some sort of norm. Like if you're a woman then it will be a part of your life.  I even had my mom tell me that it's just part of being a woman. Like, it's my problem that I need to figure out how to be ok with?!? That is not how one human should treat another human. There is something severely wrong with the character of our culture. Why is the level of objectification so accepted? It is sad. I really believe that the growth of porn addiction is a byproduct of this underlying attitude. If we regarded people a little higher (men and women), we were more concerned with being respectful, kind, compassionate, full of integrity, and so many other good qualities....well then there would be no room for this behaviour. If that was our culture and standard of acceptable behaviour things would be a lot different. I know that it won't solve all of the problems, I am not that nieve, but I do think it could make a big difference.

Emerald Blue

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Re: Opinion piece on Sexual harassent
« Reply #7 on: December 04, 2017, 05:54:55 AM »
I don’t think I know one woman who has never experienced harassment, and the #MeToo phenomenon shone a light on the issue perfectly, but just because it’s commonplace it doesn’t make it acceptable nor should it ever be.

It’s worrying when women are expected to regard cat calls or any other kind of everyday low level harassment as a compliment. Or that our worth depends on our physical appearance and how attractive we are to men — which is not a healthy attitude. I was fortunate to be raised by a mother who had worked and gained qualifications, and who raised her daughters to be educated and capable of supporting themselves. We weren’t raised to find husbands, go on diets or subject ourselves to beauty practices. I didn’t appreciate it at the time but it was a very healthy foundation. Society and peer pressure can do enough damage, so having someone setting a different example was enough to make me question many things or not be interested in the first place. I also have to give a lot of credit to the inroads that the women’s movement was making, even as a kid I was aware that men whistling and cat calling weren’t acting respectfully. Having alternative opinions and strategies to just accepting sexual harassment as a ‘normal’ part of a woman’s life is very important.

As a consequence, I’ve always been questioning of why there are so many magazines and ads telling women that they must be on a diet all the time and be preoccupied with their weight, and why women’s magazines are always full of ads and promotions for ridiculously expensive cosmetics and especially moisturisers that promise eternal youth, like we have to look like photographs that have undergone hours of digital airbrushing. As a consequence of my cynicism, I don’t pay attention to celebrity culture and I don’t have a clue who most of them are, but if I’m in a supermarket or newsagent and see these magazine covers it’s all about what some celebrity looks like in a bikini and whether they’ve lost weight or gained weight, and articles about either gossip or diets. And I have to ask myself, who is buying this stuff and why? When women and girls look at magazines, there are studies that have shown that their self esteem drops after only very limited exposure, that they feel less happy about their body image etc. So they are actually bad for women’s emotional health. They also convey the message that appearance matters more than anything. Where are the women of achievement that actually do important work in the world? The women who do pioneering research in science, medicine, or the fine arts? Why are these women not in magazines covers? So I think we have to question the culture, and why women buy into all this crap. It all comes down to a woman’s worth being dependent on her appearance, and ultimately we are expected to view male opinion as the ultimate judgement.
His porn addiction: you didn't cause it - you can't control it - you can't cure it

AnonymousAnnaXO

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Re: Opinion piece on Sexual harassent
« Reply #8 on: December 08, 2017, 03:06:04 PM »
This is so sad, and so horrific. I agree with what everyone has been saying here! And yes magazines... god I hate them. Magazines were a huge part of my anorexia when I was younger. I grew up buying magazines and wondering why I didn't look like the women in them. It really tore me down as a kid. I also wonder why women are on constant dieting. News flash diets don't work because they are temporary and once you return to old habits you gain what you lost.

Societies pressure on women and their looks is honestly insane. I am glad I have a son, but also worried about him growing up in this culture and how to protect him from porn culture.
"Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive" - sir Walter Scott

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