Author Topic: The final countdown  (Read 5993 times)

dusty

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Re: The final countdown
« Reply #50 on: June 10, 2019, 07:37:04 AM »
Do you know this meme" 'ah shit, here we go again'

So I'm again here and it's a fucking vicious circle.

1st stage -> porn is awful, I have to change my life, it's going in the wrong direction
2nd stage -> yee' it's going better, I'm clean, maybe sometimes more horny but not so bad
3rd stage -> ok, i'm already quite fine, i suppose porn is not so bad and i'm not addicted, so maybe i'll use it time to time
4th stage -> oh shit, here we go again

I just PMO'ed and it's my day 0. I'll update this journal every fucking day. Please give me some motivation. Because all what I see here is that almost everyone is constatly failing.

Cheers
« Last Edit: June 10, 2019, 07:40:04 AM by dusty »

Lero

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Re: The final countdown
« Reply #51 on: June 10, 2019, 08:16:54 AM »
Quitting P is hard, that's why some of us here keep relapsing. Motivation comes from following the plan. Anytime you do something better, anytime you don't repeat the same mistake, anytime you identify the trigger, anytime you catch yourself before doing it and get over it... All those things should be your motivation. If you don't find motivation inside you, all the motivation from others won't be enough. Strength comes from practice. Every little progress is progress. And we need patience because it takes time. A relapse is not the end of the world, it is an opportunity to identify triggers and mistakes. Every loss is an invitation to train harder and play better in the next match. Sure, it's great to win the World Cup at the first participation but, in general, we need a few tries.

jixu

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Re: The final countdown
« Reply #52 on: June 10, 2019, 08:51:07 AM »
Dusty, that brilliant 4 stage analysis is succinct yet it basically encapsulates the reality of the journey.  it is easy to get pulled down between stage 2 and 3.  Thanks, and congratulations on coming back and dealing with reality.   

dusty

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Re: The final countdown
« Reply #53 on: June 12, 2019, 02:22:33 AM »
Thank you guys for your replies!

it's my second day of new beautiful journey.  ;)

deminounrae

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Re: The final countdown
« Reply #54 on: June 12, 2019, 07:15:10 AM »
Hi man. I just finished reading all of your journal and I can say that we are very very similar. I know how much the journal is important and I failed just like you. I'm currently on day 3.

Here's my propose we write to each other to keep motivated. That's right I don't know you and you don't know me but we both have a common goal. If you want a partner in this to be more motivated well I'm here if you want... Your choice

Here's my journal for you to read:
http://www.rebootnation.org/forum/index.php?topic=16687.0

achilles heel

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Re: The final countdown
« Reply #55 on: June 12, 2019, 01:51:42 PM »
Do you know this meme" 'ah shit, here we go again'

So I'm again here and it's a fucking vicious circle.

1st stage -> porn is awful, I have to change my life, it's going in the wrong direction
2nd stage -> yee' it's going better, I'm clean, maybe sometimes more horny but not so bad
3rd stage -> ok, i'm already quite fine, i suppose porn is not so bad and i'm not addicted, so maybe i'll use it time to time
4th stage -> oh shit, here we go again

I just PMO'ed and it's my day 0. I'll update this journal every fucking day. Please give me some motivation. Because all what I see here is that almost everyone is constatly failing.

Cheers

You didn't fail when you went 85 and 42 days without porn because of using porn again afterwards. You already experienced more freedom (despite cravings and withdrawals) and made more use of your valuable lifetime than sitting in front of your computer watching other people have sex while masturbating. Those were 85/42 days of your life you WON.

I know the stage 3/stage 4 problem, my problems are not as present anymore and I can't imagine how shitty I felt for relapsing on porn. But instead of being thankful for having advanced, we tend to lower our guards and underestimate this addiction.

Think about what troubles you, what leads to relapses and what behaviours/situations to avoid. Set up as much restrictions as possible, write here every day and set a small goal of a few days for the beginning to get back on track.

You do read a lot about failure because this isn't an easy way and most people give up. If you just don't give up it's the first step towards succeeding. Learn from your mistakes and use your experience and you can make it! All the best for you!  :)

dusty

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Re: The final countdown
« Reply #56 on: June 13, 2019, 06:00:56 AM »
Do you know this meme" 'ah shit, here we go again'

So I'm again here and it's a fucking vicious circle.

1st stage -> porn is awful, I have to change my life, it's going in the wrong direction
2nd stage -> yee' it's going better, I'm clean, maybe sometimes more horny but not so bad
3rd stage -> ok, i'm already quite fine, i suppose porn is not so bad and i'm not addicted, so maybe i'll use it time to time
4th stage -> oh shit, here we go again

I just PMO'ed and it's my day 0. I'll update this journal every fucking day. Please give me some motivation. Because all what I see here is that almost everyone is constatly failing.

Cheers

You didn't fail when you went 85 and 42 days without porn because of using porn again afterwards. You already experienced more freedom (despite cravings and withdrawals) and made more use of your valuable lifetime than sitting in front of your computer watching other people have sex while masturbating. Those were 85/42 days of your life you WON.

I know the stage 3/stage 4 problem, my problems are not as present anymore and I can't imagine how shitty I felt for relapsing on porn. But instead of being thankful for having advanced, we tend to lower our guards and underestimate this addiction.

Think about what troubles you, what leads to relapses and what behaviours/situations to avoid. Set up as much restrictions as possible, write here every day and set a small goal of a few days for the beginning to get back on track.

You do read a lot about failure because this isn't an easy way and most people give up. If you just don't give up it's the first step towards succeeding. Learn from your mistakes and use your experience and you can make it! All the best for you!  :)

Many thanks Achilles. You're more experienced and determined so I'll try to benefit from your strategies.

It's a 3rd day. Beginning but I'm happy to be here again. I think that positive attitude will be useful. It's not a war, it's a remedy and a peace for my soul. Yep, that was deep.

dusty

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Re: The final countdown
« Reply #57 on: June 14, 2019, 12:50:46 PM »
4th day and the beginning was really bad. I mean i had no urges to PMO but I felt kind of depressed. Not sure if it's connected to reboot or bad sleep because of the heat. But now it's better and i'm pretty laid-back. I'll do some jogging for sure and spend the evening with my gf.

take care
« Last Edit: June 14, 2019, 12:52:32 PM by dusty »

dusty

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Re: The final countdown
« Reply #58 on: June 16, 2019, 08:04:20 AM »
6th day and now i'm in really good mood. Yesterday was not so nice but only in the first half of the day. Thankfully I don't have any hard urges.

I'll try to stay happy and focus on benefits of no PMO!  :D

Lero

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Re: The final countdown
« Reply #59 on: June 17, 2019, 04:29:18 AM »
That's awesome, man. Soon it will be your first week completed. If you could go 1 week, you could go 2.

BlueHeronFan

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Re: The final countdown
« Reply #60 on: June 17, 2019, 07:28:17 PM »
Just wanted to second what Achilles said. A relapse is only a total loss if you don't learn from it. Don't fool yourself into thinking that everything you've done up to now is wasted just because you slipped again. All of that learning and progress still counts.

Also, I know that a lot of my relapses have come because I thought I was "cured" and started to get lazy with taking care of myself. Lately, I've been working on keeping my guard up one day at a time and not thinking that I'm "cured" just because I went without PMO for a month. A month is not much compared to years of addiction, so I don't think feeling cured is very helpful. There's always a risk, and we always have to be careful. But we can only control today.

Long story short, congrats on going the day without PMO. Now just focus on getting through tomorrow. We'll get there a day at a time.

Lero

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Re: The final countdown
« Reply #61 on: June 18, 2019, 03:20:35 AM »
Just wanted to second what Achilles said. A relapse is only a total loss if you don't learn from it. Don't fool yourself into thinking that everything you've done up to now is wasted just because you slipped again. All of that learning and progress still counts.

Also, I know that a lot of my relapses have come because I thought I was "cured" and started to get lazy with taking care of myself. Lately, I've been working on keeping my guard up one day at a time and not thinking that I'm "cured" just because I went without PMO for a month. A month is not much compared to years of addiction, so I don't think feeling cured is very helpful. There's always a risk, and we always have to be careful. But we can only control today.

Long story short, congrats on going the day without PMO. Now just focus on getting through tomorrow. We'll get there a day at a time.

I don't think it's a good idea to ever consider yourself "cured". We will never be "pre-porn people" again. Paths have been created in our brains. We could slip one day and go back to it. You hear about former alcoholics going back to drinking after years. It's not really that simple. We are not people who have never binged porn. If you think you are healed now, you might let your guard down, you might think triggers are nothing now, you might think you could handle the triggers until you see yourself "remembering" the pleasure.

dusty

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Re: The final countdown
« Reply #62 on: June 18, 2019, 06:12:41 AM »
Thank you guys for your replies and the discussion. For me it depends on that how we understand the definition of being cured. Honestly I don't think that we will be able to ever use porn in healthy way. But we can be cured in normal life. No more treating women as a toys. appreciate higher values, don't think in the porn way about sex and so on.

8th day. Yesterday I had problem with erection and wasn't able to have sex with my gf. It's really annoying during a reboot because when I PMO it never happens. Should not it be reversly? Nevermind. I'm in a good mood and keep going :D

Lero

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Re: The final countdown
« Reply #63 on: June 18, 2019, 06:42:35 AM »
Thank you guys for your replies and the discussion. For me it depends on that how we understand the definition of being cured. Honestly I don't think that we will be able to ever use porn in healthy way. But we can be cured in normal life. No more treating women as a toys. appreciate higher values, don't think in the porn way about sex and so on.

8th day. Yesterday I had problem with erection and wasn't able to have sex with my gf. It's really annoying during a reboot because when I PMO it never happens. Should not it be reversly? Nevermind. I'm in a good mood and keep going :D

Ah yes, I think it's fair to say it comes down to our own individual definition for being cured. In my case, I would not like to call myself "cured" because I could never look at P again and just walk away as if nothing happened. It could "remember" me of all the fun and pleasure and I could easily go back to my addiction. For me, not considering myself cured would help me be careful. Maybe that's what the guys want to say when they talk about not considering yourself cured. But now, whatever works for you, this is what you should do. And whatever definition you want to have.

deminounrae

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Re: The final countdown
« Reply #64 on: June 18, 2019, 07:53:05 AM »


8th day. Yesterday I had problem with erection and wasn't able to have sex with my gf. It's really annoying during a reboot because when I PMO it never happens. Should not it be reversly? Nevermind. I'm in a good mood and keep going :D

Good job man, don't think about it. This is a stiff shot but time will heal everything, and when the time will be right it will be so much satisfying. Keep going strong.

dusty

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Re: The final countdown
« Reply #65 on: June 19, 2019, 04:01:00 AM »
Lero, you're right. But now I don't think and delibarate about porn. It was disastrous path for me in the past to search opinions, researches. Only what I know it's PMO is bad for me. I'm not sure if you can call it an addiction or compulsive using, nevermind. It fucks my brain and i'm sure about it.

Thanks deminounrae! Indeed, yesterday I had sex and it was really satisfying.
9th day and I'm good, yep. Really happy to be among you guys.


dusty

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Re: The final countdown
« Reply #66 on: June 21, 2019, 04:53:11 AM »
11th day and everything is quite nice. I had sex last day and feel an arousal but it's under control. Next day - next chapter in my journey.


achilles heel

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Re: The final countdown
« Reply #67 on: June 21, 2019, 11:48:10 PM »
Good to see you're back on track again, 11 days is a good achievement already!  :)

dusty

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Re: The final countdown
« Reply #68 on: June 24, 2019, 04:44:56 AM »
Good to see you're back on track again, 11 days is a good achievement already!  :)

Many thanks Achilles! Yep, my reboot is going fine and it's 14th day now. Two weeks without porn and I started to see benefits. I know it fluctuates but now i'm more relaxed, feel a deeper connection with my gf so it's really good  :)

dusty

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Re: The final countdown
« Reply #69 on: June 25, 2019, 06:55:13 AM »
15th day. All good, happy to do this reboot.

Lero

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Re: The final countdown
« Reply #70 on: June 25, 2019, 08:08:12 AM »
It seems like things are starting to move well.

achilles heel

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Re: The final countdown
« Reply #71 on: June 25, 2019, 11:46:14 PM »
Good to see you're back on track again, 11 days is a good achievement already!  :)

Many thanks Achilles! Yep, my reboot is going fine and it's 14th day now. Two weeks without porn and I started to see benefits. I know it fluctuates but now i'm more relaxed, feel a deeper connection with my gf so it's really good  :)

Great!  :)

Just don't expect too much in terms of benefits and you will be fine. If you made it two weeks, you can make it three and more! Keep going!

dusty

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Re: The final countdown
« Reply #72 on: June 28, 2019, 02:25:55 AM »
Thank you guys!

18th day and i mo'ed yesterday but everything is under control. Expect that i'm doing well.  :D

Re: The final countdown
« Reply #73 on: June 28, 2019, 06:05:02 AM »
Hi dusty, I hope that you have even better days. Good luck on your journey. You seem to passionate and driven, nothing is going to stop you. I mean it :)
« Last Edit: June 28, 2019, 06:09:05 AM by Thank you for all that you do for me »

dusty

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Re: The final countdown
« Reply #74 on: July 01, 2019, 03:40:18 AM »
Hi dusty, I hope that you have even better days. Good luck on your journey. You seem to passionate and driven, nothing is going to stop you. I mean it :)

Thank you man!

DAY 21, so 3 weeks without PMO. I'm happy and feel good and chilled!