Author Topic: The final countdown  (Read 5510 times)

dusty

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The final countdown
« on: November 21, 2017, 08:25:43 AM »
I'm 24, addicted for around 11 years. I have tried to throw PMO so many times. I'm really fed up with it, so it's time to get rid of this shit forever. I will try to write here my progress every day, sometimes every other day. I am going to do the semihard 90, no P, no M, no PMO, but I allow M in the extreme situations, because my best strike 2 years ago (85 days) was based on M 1-2 times a week. These 90 days is my first step to be free.


Today is a 1 day, yesterday - PMO after 1 week being free. Today cravings are pretty high, there is always like this in first 3 days, after that for me crucial is pass 2 weeks and cravings are much lower. I hope that it will be succesful this time.

Please guys give me sometimes some support and your reflections, for me it's a great motivation.




Eran91

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Re: The final countdown
« Reply #1 on: November 21, 2017, 04:34:55 PM »
Welcome and congrats on starting a journal!

There are many people who have been where you are and have said today is the first day and after that never looked back on their PMO past. You can do it!
Looking forward to following your progress. You're not alone in this.

Cheers.

dusty

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Re: The final countdown
« Reply #2 on: November 22, 2017, 06:26:48 PM »
Day 2

It was pretty easy and good day. In the morning I spent too much time with my computer because I had a free day in work and that is why some thought about P appeared. Moreover I opened an article with naked star but not to find a dopamine rush but to read this article (I suppose that but maybe my brain tricked me).
Conclusion of that: I have to limit my time before the computer's screen it surely decreases the possibilty of any fall.

In the evening I watched a movie with my girlfriend, there was a hot actress but I was trying to concetrate more about a plot so she didn't really arouse me. I must add that my girlfriend is sick now and we haven't had sex for more than a week so I'm much more subject to all sexual stimuli. But on the other hand this abstinence is also good for my recovery :)
Conclusion: I have to think about kind of movie which I can watch without any arousal before start watching.

I was also thinking about P and how much I was hooked, how powerful is this shit and how easy to return. I probably watched thousand of movies and that is why people nowadays have no rules and cheat on each other. Our brains are contaminated by P and we think that this is cool, good and primarily normal! But it's not.


Johnny Trailer

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Re: The final countdown
« Reply #3 on: November 22, 2017, 08:08:16 PM »
Quote
I probably watched thousand of movies and that is why people nowadays have no rules and cheat on each other.

yes, porn definitely increases cheat rate, rape rate and lots of other crazy shit. anus sex, rough hardcore chocking sex, throwing up... most of it is porn induced. most people are a lot more into vanilla stuff a lot more than they think. i hate porn.

good luck on your journey, it can take a while so stay focused.
My last relapse: 03.Oct.2019 // My total # of relapses in the last 30 days: 10+

dusty

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Re: The final countdown
« Reply #4 on: November 23, 2017, 06:37:10 PM »
Quote
I probably watched thousand of movies and that is why people nowadays have no rules and cheat on each other.

yes, porn definitely increases cheat rate, rape rate and lots of other crazy shit. anus sex, rough hardcore chocking sex, throwing up... most of it is porn induced. most people are a lot more into vanilla stuff a lot more than they think. i hate porn.

good luck on your journey, it can take a while so stay focused.

Thanks man, I hate porn too. I'm sure that we will cope with this shit.

dusty

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Re: The final countdown
« Reply #5 on: November 23, 2017, 06:49:04 PM »
Day 3

Day was really smooth. In the morning I started day with checking facebook and I opened some hot girl profile which triggered some urges but I coped with them easily.
Conclusion:Limit time with facebook, I really recommend it also for all of you guys because I noticed that FB is a huge trigger to return to P.

During the day I didn't notice any change in energy, I wasn't happy or sad - only normal. I didn't have many thoughts about P and sex which is quite good for my recovery. Often after PMO I am really focused on girls bodies that I pass on the street but during my reboot it is reducing. Today I was trying to focus more on girls face and also other people. Just looking at them with an interest not an arousal.

I can't wait next days beacuse I feel that it will be successful reboot.

dusty

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Re: The final countdown
« Reply #6 on: November 24, 2017, 06:32:09 PM »
Day 4

Today I had some mood swings. I had a dream connected with sex and P (no a wet dream) and I woke up very horny. That is why I tried to not use a cell  (for me it was one of the most dangerous devices). During the day I did't have urges but in the evening I had a hard time with pretty strong urges (they are still present) I think that it could be also connected with drinking a beer. The first half of the day I had a good mood but it changed rapidly and I was sad and angry in the evening.

Coclusion: watch out for alcohol - in my case it very often triggers relapses.

Good luck for everyone!


Nofap901

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Re: The final countdown
« Reply #7 on: November 24, 2017, 06:56:53 PM »
Good advice man. I feel like I'm more tempted with alcohol. I think meditation / cold showers when tempted really help. Never be isolated either because when boredom or negative emotions come it leads to relapse. Stay strong, bro!

Eran91

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Re: The final countdown
« Reply #8 on: November 25, 2017, 03:57:48 AM »
Day 4

Today I had some mood swings. I had a dream connected with sex and P (no a wet dream) and I woke up very horny. That is why I tried to not use a cell  (for me it was one of the most dangerous devices). During the day I did't have urges but in the evening I had a hard time with pretty strong urges (they are still present) I think that it could be also connected with drinking a beer. The first half of the day I had a good mood but it changed rapidly and I was sad and angry in the evening.

Coclusion: watch out for alcohol - in my case it very often triggers relapses.

Good luck for everyone!

Good work on being aware of your cell as a dangerous device, alcohol as a trigger and fighting through those urges in the evening!
Keep going man!

dusty

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Re: The final countdown
« Reply #9 on: November 25, 2017, 06:34:28 PM »
Day 5
 I won't have much time during next 3 days but I will try to write everyday. This day was pretty good, but I had really strong urges in the middle of the day because on Facebook I saw my friend profile. She has really big boobs and her photos are so sexual so I had a big drive because of my porn developed fetish. Anyway I cope with that and the last part of the day was really smooth. I had a good mood surely.

Conclusion: once again watch out for Facebook!!! It's a huge trigger and I have to use it very cautiously.

Take care guys and good luck. I know we will do this!
« Last Edit: November 25, 2017, 06:37:16 PM by dusty »

dusty

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Re: The final countdown
« Reply #10 on: November 25, 2017, 06:38:37 PM »
Day 4

Today I had some mood swings. I had a dream connected with sex and P (no a wet dream) and I woke up very horny. That is why I tried to not use a cell  (for me it was one of the most dangerous devices). During the day I did't have urges but in the evening I had a hard time with pretty strong urges (they are still present) I think that it could be also connected with drinking a beer. The first half of the day I had a good mood but it changed rapidly and I was sad and angry in the evening.

Coclusion: watch out for alcohol - in my case it very often triggers relapses.

Good luck for everyone!

Good work on being aware of your cell as a dangerous device, alcohol as a trigger and fighting through those urges in the evening!
Keep going man!

Thanks man! We will do this together. Stay strong.

dusty

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Re: The final countdown
« Reply #11 on: November 27, 2017, 06:41:17 AM »
Day 6

Ok, so it wasn't easy day. During the night between day 5 and 6 I read an article about sex robots and sexual behaviours in society nowadays and it makes me so aroused that I was just typing the one of P site in google but I quickly stopped it and reminded myself about rebooting.

Conclusion: I cannot read anything connected with sex, P etc. Even if it looks like scientific article it can be dangerous for me and makes me horny.

Day 6 was pretty easy and I had a good mood. The only problem was in the shopping mall (I went shopping), there was so many attractive girls and I felt so horny because most of them wear titillating clothes (tell me why world looks like that  :-\). It's often situation that after seeing such a girl I returned home and started PMO. Anyway not today and any following days beacause I feel strong and I'll never come back to this.

Conclusion: Try to not pay to perverse girls by looking more at their faces or simply look the other way. Sometimes it's really hard but I hope that it will be easier in the future.

Stay strong guys!  :D

Eran91

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Re: The final countdown
« Reply #12 on: November 28, 2017, 12:43:27 AM »
Good work on avoiding the temptations. Your method of finding a conclusion when confronted with a potential risk to PMO is clever and interesting.

Keep grinding!

dusty

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Re: The final countdown
« Reply #13 on: November 28, 2017, 08:58:45 AM »
Thanks Eran, it's motivating me that you're following my progress!

Day 7

It was really smooth, easy and nice. I had little urges because of one movie on youtube but not so strong as the day before. I spent time with my father he visited me beacuse now I am abroad. We drank a lot of wine so I was a little scared that alcohol could make me more eager to PMO but there were no urges before I went to sleep.

One week is behind me. It's the first little step forward. We will do this guys, take care!

Nofap901

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Re: The final countdown
« Reply #14 on: November 28, 2017, 12:38:24 PM »
Congrats on 1 week through, dusty. Keep up the good work man it's always good following your progress

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=njU4pROL9rM&index=18&list=LLgs9q5D0xlnxC8y5jCpORUg

There's some motivation for the journey we're on! Keep it up.

dusty

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Re: The final countdown
« Reply #15 on: November 28, 2017, 08:43:46 PM »
Thanks a lot nofap! I know this movie, it's really motivating, when first time I saw it I simply started crying because I made myself award how this PMO trap looks like.

Day 8

Today everything was good. I was a little bit aroused by some photos on facebook but I closed the page and forgot about this. I feel that a bond with my girlfriend is stronger now and I think that I'm less selfish.

 I think this 8 days is one of my best streaks without any O.

 In the following days I probably will have sex with my gf but I will stay aware and watch out for urges!

Stay strong friends!

dusty

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Re: The final countdown
« Reply #16 on: November 29, 2017, 07:51:15 PM »
Day 9

Ok, so it was an ezzzz day. Urges are much smaller, even if I randomly take a look at some hot photo I'm less aroused than in the previous days. But I am still alert, don't worry. You never know when it gets back with double power. At the end of this day I was pretty sad so emotional swings are present. It's connected with that my gf is still sick and she's not so eager to have sex but I'm trying to be less egoistic. In addition this lack of O gives me more power.

Take care guys, we will do this :D

dusty

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Re: The final countdown
« Reply #17 on: November 30, 2017, 10:12:08 PM »
Day 10

That's strange day. Good at the beginning but in the evening I tried to have sex with my gf. Regrettably I had no erection, don't know why, I have never any problems with that. Maybe it was too late or that is why she is now not in best mood. But the strangest was after that, I tried to do sth to get an erection and I touched my penis for 10-15'sec and I cum. WTF it was so strange never happened before and I don't like it. Anyway I'm keep going.
Take care guys!
« Last Edit: November 30, 2017, 10:14:30 PM by dusty »

johnleesmith65

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Re: The final countdown
« Reply #18 on: December 01, 2017, 07:22:45 AM »
Just let her know, you have porn addiction.
And people face problems in recovery.
Life is tough.
Learn to live instead of numbing yourself by use of porn.

dusty

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Re: The final countdown
« Reply #19 on: December 01, 2017, 07:42:25 PM »
Johnie I'm thinking about this but I don't know if she understands it properly.

Day 11

Nothing special during this day. I noticed that I'm a little bit more aroused when I see an attractive girl. It's surely because of yesterday's ejaculation. Today I didn't have sex because my girlfriend was tired. Honestly for me it's becoming frustrating and upset me. I know that she had hard time because of bad illness but maybe you know this feeling of rejection when your girl is not interested in making love. On the other hand I'm not sure if I simply pay too much attention to sex and O because of P addiction.

Conclusion: try to do not have high hopes connected with sex because for sure everythink gets back to normal after a while. Hmm, I hope this is a good conclusion.

Stay strong guys   :D

Eran91

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Re: The final countdown
« Reply #20 on: December 02, 2017, 06:08:20 AM »
Stay strong. You're making progress!

dusty

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Re: The final countdown
« Reply #21 on: December 03, 2017, 07:10:10 AM »
Thanks a lot Eran, you're motivating me so much!

Day 12

It was more sexual day. Firstly I MO'ed but I allow it absolutely only I try to do this as rarely as I can. After that my short flatline finished and the rest of the day was normal, urges were little stronger but in norm. In the evening I had sex with my gf and it was very fine but short because of a long break  ;) Today I have to be very cautious because urges will be probably stronger but I'm sure everything will be fine. This journal gives me a lot of power to be persistent!

Good luck men!

dusty

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Re: The final countdown
« Reply #22 on: December 03, 2017, 08:32:18 PM »
Day 13

Nothing special today. I noticed that I am more stable in emotions, I had a little argument and I was calm and precise in words. During the day I felt very horny several times but I was thinking about having sex (or bj) with my gf not about P.

As always stay strong guys!  :)

dusty

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Re: The final countdown
« Reply #23 on: December 05, 2017, 08:17:53 AM »
Day 14

I had hard time because whole day I was at home alone. Urges were pretty high because as many other addicts I usually PMO'd when I was alone and bored. In the evening my gf came back luckily. She gave me so great bj that I was a little bit dizzy after. However I noticed that intercourses may trigger chaser effect. It really exists guys and I'd like to warn you that you have to be even more aware and cautious after having sex.

Here some knowledge: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/chaser-effect-what-and-why.5219/

Anyway two weeks are behind me, it's not easy but rewarding path.
I hope that you keep it going also  :)


Nofap901

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Re: The final countdown
« Reply #24 on: December 05, 2017, 08:20:31 AM »
Good job on 2 weeks man. Yeah the chaser effect is the real deal. Being isolated makes things a lot harder on NoFap without a doubt. Keep it up bro.