Author Topic: The long haul  (Read 887 times)


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The long haul
« on: December 30, 2017, 02:30:56 AM »
I'm not sure if I'm posting this in the right spot but just figured it's good to get my experience out into this community.
I first realised I had a problem a few years ago, and way back then I looked up YBOP and all that and started my reboot. First attempt was about three weeks then I relapsed but that was caused mostly by not really understanding the problem. It's crucial to get educated about this stuff so you know the dangers, problems and solutions, and to help be aware and of what's going on in your head.
My second attempt I went about two years without relapse, this was achieved simply by forgetting the option of porn, I pinch myself sharply and push out the faintest of images or thoughts about it and just didn't engage it at all.
Where I messed up was that I failed to rewire and change my lifestyle, although porn was gone o still had terrible self esteem and played video games excessively, I have my mates but didn't form strong friendships or relationships with females.
To beat this you have o completely overhaul yourself in a good way.
Think about it like this, if the old you was the type of person to become addicted to something like porn, then if you beat the addiction but don't improve yourself then your still the type of person that would become addicted to porn.
So forget about that stuff and set about a huge self improvement project.

My relapses came in the last 12 months from losing focus on a long reboot that seemed futile as I struggled with girls, loneliness and feeling like I wasn't going anywhere near me. This is why you've got to rewire and change your lifestyle. I was in a situation where I felt I had. I way to meet girls and wasn't getting much action so of course I fell back into it
It's hard to have a strong willpower when you feel like it's all for nothing.
The cycle can feel endless, it will hurt and beat you down but it does end I promise you boys.

I beat it once completely, I went travelling overseas with a mate for three and a half months and barely used my phone or anything, three and a half months of constantly being outside doing fun healthy activities and interacting with people and building my confidence up. By the end I was probably too sensitive if anything, getting hard flirting with girls which is awkward but encouraging.

Since getting back I've fallen into a bit of a cycle of relapsing, went a couple months relapsed, went like three months then relapsed. Relapsed last weekend and just before.

What's funny with me is that I know I can (and have beaten it), it just feels never ending when your at home alone bored and lonely.

Why I'm hear is too inspire some people maybe to know that it can be beaten, and warn them not make the same mistakes I have, this can't be you and your willpower beating an addiction. It must be you deciding to completely change your life and yourself, improving it in all areas, not because you have to, because you want to.

I encourage you to make an account and help some others, it will make you feel good and supported and is really therapeutic to write.

Lastly I leave you with a manner of thinking that has helped me, it's a way of viewing this problem that helps.
It's like a boxing match, you versus your addiction. Now you didn't want to fight, you didn't chooses it and it's not your fault, but round one has started and there's no place for guilt, regret or shame cause he's coming at you.
He's a dirty boxer he will cheap tricks to hurt you, messing with your head to make you doubt yourself self, to make you falter and affect your logic and reasoning.
He's a bloody hard hitter this guy, your gonna take some shot that hurt, your gonna fall down but your gonna get up. A good boxer doesn't think back about the big punch he just took with regret or frustration or shame, he analyses honestly his mistake, adjust his strategy and moves forward taking only learning from the punch.
Boxing may seem to be all about punching but it's not, just like beating PIED and addiction it's not just about not viewing porn. The boxer needs speed, power, timing, precision, good fight IQ and footwork, he needs to be calm and relaxed but have that motivation to go through hell and win, he needs focus, he needs toughness, and he needs someone in his corner. To beat porn addiction you need attack it from every area of your life, your diet, hobbies, insecurities, friends, your social life, rewiring, staying focused and motivated, being tough, being smart and only taking lessons from your missteps, being calm and confident and not being ashamed.

When the fight is over you won't look back at the punches you took, you will just celebrate your victory, you won't be ashamed or guilty, and you will on top of the world because of what you've achieved.

Seperate yourself and the addiction,  you have not done  this to yourself so don't feel ashamed or guilty. Take pride in how tough you are fighting, improve yourself wherever you can and take only lessons with you into the future.

Be excited that because of this, you are gonna be ten times the man you were, one day you may actually end up glad that this happened to you, imagine that.



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Re: The long haul
« Reply #1 on: January 04, 2018, 07:53:56 PM »
Hey bro, I just wanted to thank you for this post! Its really inspiring and you're going to rewire, I know it!