Author Topic: So that's what rock bottom feels like!  (Read 3603 times)

Stop-porno

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Re: So that's what rock bottom feels like!
« Reply #25 on: September 19, 2019, 09:27:09 AM »
Salut suis dans ce forum.... Qui prĂȘt pour m'aider a sortir du porno...mon Email : ibnoualima20@gmail.com
Je ne comprend pas l'anglais....

Anonguy037

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Re: So that's what rock bottom feels like!
« Reply #26 on: September 19, 2019, 09:33:16 AM »
Bonjour! Je parle un petite put de Francais mais je ne parle pas tres bon. Bon chance avec ton trajet.

Anonguy037

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Re: So that's what rock bottom feels like!
« Reply #27 on: September 19, 2019, 09:40:00 AM »
One more observation this group might find some merit to:

In the New Man podcast I mentioned, the host suggested that for a lot of men porn use had little to do with getting turned on and is much more about numbing out. I think this has some legs, especially in the light of looking at our problem as an addiction. Booze isn't the problem for alcoholics. Take it away and in my experience, Robin Williams had it right: "I'm still the same asshole I just have fewer dents in my car".

Lero

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Re: So that's what rock bottom feels like!
« Reply #28 on: September 19, 2019, 10:56:40 AM »
One more observation this group might find some merit to:

In the New Man podcast I mentioned, the host suggested that for a lot of men porn use had little to do with getting turned on and is much more about numbing out. I think this has some legs, especially in the light of looking at our problem as an addiction. Booze isn't the problem for alcoholics. Take it away and in my experience, Robin Williams had it right: "I'm still the same asshole I just have fewer dents in my car".

Yes, of course porn is in the category of "self-medication". Numbing, soothing, trying to feel better and stuff like that. It's an addiction and every addiction is created because of this. Every addiction becomes a form of self-medication even if it doesn't start like one. When it comes to drugs or alcohol, some people start them to self-medicate depression, anxiety etc. but other people start because they feel good, at parties, having fun or hanging out with friends (maybe especially when they are teenagers or in high school), they have the fun of their life with them but eventually they will start using them as a form of self-medication, even for something like stress, boredom, rejection, confrontation etc. I don't know who actually starts watching porn as a form of self-medication because it's not that obvious like alcohol, they might choose to drink instead (but I might be wrong here). The idea is: Give a teenage boy unlimited, unsupervised Internet access alone in his room, he discovers porn, it will feel good and he will love it. The pleasure of it is enough to make a teenager watch it again and again. So it's not necessary to start as self-medication but it will eventually become that. One day, this teenage boy will start "running" to porn every time he goes through hard times like being rejected by a girl at high school, getting a bad grade, being bullied at high school etc. Emotional strains or whatever, you know. When I was in high school and things were hard (annoying teachers, I was invisible for a girl, some idiot said something to me, I heard someone talked behind my back, I had a hard test, I got a bad grade, I was ridiculed by a teacher etc.) I started thinking about what porn to watch when I got home. As soon as I got home, I put porn on and started masturbating as a form of comfort, soothing myself, getting that "hug" from porn like: "It's alright, man. You had to deal with some hard stuff today but now it's okay." That's how porn whispered into my ear and I loved to hear that, as I didn't know yet what porn did to me. Once I found out, I was horrified. My reaction was something like: "What? This? This is so harmful? But this is just my pleasure, what are you talking about?" I was even in denial for a while until I had to come back to reality and admit: "Alright, man, I guess I have to do something about it."

Anonguy037

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Re: So that's what rock bottom feels like!
« Reply #29 on: September 19, 2019, 03:55:06 PM »
I hear that. Porn is one seductive comfort. So seductive you don't even feel it sliding it's claws back into you.

Anonguy037

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Re: So that's what rock bottom feels like!
« Reply #30 on: September 19, 2019, 10:07:13 PM »
Well, fuck. Reset again. Argument with my wife over the phone, led to a beer and a smoke a, led to pmo.

Tomorrow we try again. with her coming home and the weekend here hopefully by Monday I'm reporting a straight 72 hours with no pmo and no cigarettes.

Anonguy037

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Re: So that's what rock bottom feels like!
« Reply #31 on: September 20, 2019, 07:42:56 AM »
Morning after the reset. Working to keep my head in the game. My wife returns from a business trip today and leaves Monday with our son and her parents for a few days of R&R so I can prep for a professional exam on Wednesday, and so she can get some quality time with them before she starts a grueling 6 weeks of travel.

I'm realizing there are so, so many habits and triggers I need to manage now. Working to kick porn and smoking while also getting present in my life and marriage is a lot, but I know I've got this.

One of the challenges I have now I've not had in the past, is where I work. Every other time I've tried to quit porn, I've worked in the suburbs, in an office that has only one business. That might sound like a strange distinction, but now I work in downtown. The beautiful people are everywhere. For one who does a lot of looking and objectifying, it's a conscious effort to walk to the office and not spend the whole time doing just that.

Onward and upward.