Author Topic: Starting Now Limp to Rock  (Read 15919 times)

andante

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    Rebooting one step at a time, the whole way!
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Re: Starting Now Limp to Rock
« Reply #75 on: November 06, 2017, 05:40:21 AM »
Not sure about your point here about writing... I'm pretty sure it helps a lot for most people, let's not spread so much negativity :)
It just depends how you use it. It's true that for some it's really tough. But I've ben following and exchanging with many people and I feel like they have helped me and I have helped them. Just putting some nuance here. On top of that, personally, this forum made me realize I would really like to participate in a larger / real life effort that would help people helping each other out on this matter :)

Cheers man, and congrats on the 100 days!!!
« Last Edit: November 06, 2017, 05:50:53 AM by vince75 »



Jack Can

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Re: Starting Now Limp to Rock
« Reply #76 on: November 06, 2017, 12:56:02 PM »
I can see how it might come off that way but I don't even see it as negative. I just don't relate with the people on this site, besides the whole no pmo thing. And that is the point of this site so I'm not annoyed. I'm just at a place right now where the main focus of my life isn't on not pmo'ing anymore.

I feel like since I have new goals I should go to new places to get more percise advice along my journey. Sorry if that last post made me look like a butt hurt P.O.S. haha.

andante

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Re: Starting Now Limp to Rock
« Reply #77 on: November 07, 2017, 03:36:58 AM »
Haha no worries! I just didn't want people to read it and feel like what they had been doing was useless (which I know was not the essential meaning of what you posted, but someone with little motivation could read it this way) :)

You're right too, I will soon let this forum behind and come back very occasionally. Still I know it's helped me out a lot!

Cheers man :)



Jack Can

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Re: Starting Now Limp to Rock
« Reply #78 on: November 09, 2017, 12:54:37 AM »
Day 105

Trigger Warning

I went to the bars last week and I met this girl there that I sort of hit it off with. But, like the idiot I am, I started hitting on her friend that was right next to her. Anyways, somehow I got her phone number and i texted her that night. Out of the blue today she texted me picture of herself spread out on her bed naked. She has tattoos of flowers and Chinese symbols up the side of her rib cage. I tried to setup a date for this weekend but it was to no avail.

I looked at those naked pictures for a bit but then I realized that I wasn't going to MO to them so there was no point in even looking at them. I hate that PIED is a problem for me. I'm also pretty pissed that I let this girl take hold of my emotions like this, I mean, every time a girl talks to me I go head over heels for her. I need more options in my life I think.

Jack Can

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Re: Starting Now Limp to Rock
« Reply #79 on: November 09, 2017, 02:33:21 PM »
I had a wet dream last night. I can only expect that it was related to that picture I got and from talking to that girl.

Wow. As this day goes on I think I'm coming out of the flatline. My penis has gotten bigger than it was previously. This is cool.
« Last Edit: November 09, 2017, 03:13:04 PM by Jack Can »

elephantricity

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Re: Starting Now Limp to Rock
« Reply #80 on: November 09, 2017, 09:57:25 PM »
Damn Jack,

I've never had a wet dream. This is my first reboot, and I'm planning on it being my one and only. I'm on day 16 without masturbating. But I have been having sex. Although not being able to climax. So my goal is really to just be able to climax naturally with a woman. I feel bad for the guys who are in a constant state of relapse, as I can relate to that with my drug addiction to opiates. It probably took me like 5-6 attempts before finally kicking it 'for good' and I'm like 6-7 years clean (I don't keep track anymore) But I think going through those relapses made me realize relapsing on porn is just not an option, nor is it something I will reconsider in the future, like maybe I can watch porn later in life.. Because with heroin, I KNOW without a shadow of doubt, I CAN NEVER use heroin/opiates again, because it will just cascade into a full on binge, and I equate the same thing to porn.. Your a huge inspiration to me for hitting over 100 days, that is awesome.

Jack Can

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Re: Starting Now Limp to Rock
« Reply #81 on: November 10, 2017, 04:08:51 AM »
It wasn't like I full out blew a load in my pants, but I had stickiness in my pants, which after I looked it up, discovered was actually precum. And dude! This is also my first reboot! I think the first reboot is actually the easiest.

My thoughts: when you relapse you cross the line in the sand that you drew for yourself not to PMO. After you've already crossed that line you learn that it is not a huge deal to actually cross that line, so it is easier, and less thought provoking to do. Don't relapse on your first reboot! It is only downhill from here! Of course you're right and you probably do learn a lot from it, like with your opiates, but I just see it as better not to relapse at all :).

I'm sure your addiction to opiates would be a lot more difficult to give up than PMO, but I mean, you've already got those good habits in place so it should be a breeze! Not meaning to put additional pressure on you here but you definitely got this!

And I'm also having sex during my reboot. Though unintentionally, I have almost gone 30 days without an O. I just can't find a girl to get down with :/ Oh well...

Welcome to the community dude!!

elephantricity

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Re: Starting Now Limp to Rock
« Reply #82 on: November 10, 2017, 10:26:39 AM »
Yeah I hadnt dated a girl in 2 years since this one Im dating now. It would take A Lot to make me give that effort and ask. She is totally worth it. But yeah in the 1st week not having orgasmed, I was getting little bits of 'dribble' while I was awake and flacid which was really strange, but yeah its basically precum. This being the longest Ive gone without orgasm since I started masturbating regularly, is probably a shock to my body or something lol.

But yeah the reboot so far has actually been easy which was kind of a surprise because almost everystory is a horror story about the flatline, but Im not seeing it yet. Maybe it will start if this girl stops seeing me, who knows. Well Im glad to know there is a dude on this board Im having a similar experience to.

Jack Can

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Re: Starting Now Limp to Rock
« Reply #83 on: November 12, 2017, 06:43:21 PM »
^elephantricity: Yeah dude! There aren't too many people on this forum that I have a similar experience to either, you should definitely send me a message if you have a question about anything! I've been trying to learn everything I can about this problem.

Day 108

It happened.. I had a full on wet dream.. It was not nearly as cool as I thought it would be haha. At like 4 in the morning I woke up literally while O'ing. Since I haven't O'ed in 30 days, you guys all know that a ton of semen came out. It was a mess and not something I necessarily wanted to clean up at 4 in the morning. But all the while a part of me was thinking "look at you little man! You did it!". My inner dialog can really crack me up sometimes :).

After I that wet dream I could definitely feel my energy levels drop. I am more irritable, emotional, and just not the same person I was earlier. It's strange that I didn't get that same feeling though when I had sex last month. Do any of you guys have thoughts on the subject?

sleepking69

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Re: Starting Now Limp to Rock
« Reply #84 on: November 13, 2017, 12:36:18 AM »
Was that your first ever wet dream? What has been your general experiences with wet dreams? I've never had a wet dream in my life, I'm thinking that it was because I jacked off so much as a kid lmao. Let us know in a couple days when you get back to normal!

Jack Can

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Re: Starting Now Limp to Rock
« Reply #85 on: November 13, 2017, 09:19:53 AM »
^sleepking69: Kind of, it was my first wet dream where I O'ed in my sleep. What I've had happen more frequently (besides the past 2 years) was having precum in my underwear when I woke up.

I also jerked off a lot as a kid so it would've been impossible for this to happen when I was younger haha..

Jack Can

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Re: Starting Now Limp to Rock
« Reply #86 on: November 16, 2017, 11:15:10 AM »
Day 112

I'm still doing good.. No overly harsh urges and my energy is back to normal from the wet dream I had (it was back by like 6 hours after). I won't go back to porn

I still go to the gym 3 times a week and have been getting a lot stronger which is great. I can now bench press the 50 pound dumbbells for 3 sets of 10 which is rad because I've been trying to do that for like 3 weeks. The gym I go to has dumbbells that go up to 60 pounds so that can be a goal for the end of the school year (May).

Schoolwork has been a bitch as of late. I don't really want to write about it now but it is just really sucky.

Dating sites, to me, 100% are becoming a porn sub. Everytime I get on them and just start browsing the pictures of different girls I can feel myself getting a semi. I meet up with the girls sometimes so I guess I can sort of justify it. It definitely still feels wrong though...

sleepking69

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Re: Starting Now Limp to Rock
« Reply #87 on: November 17, 2017, 01:10:35 AM »
^Yeah I can relate lol. I had to quit Tinder cause some of the girls on there were tooooo fiiiiine lol. Also some of them hoez gotta chiiilll cus some of them post way too many scantily clad pics lmao

Once I'm done with my reboot though I'll definitely join again if I feel like I'm in a dry spell. What about yourself?

Jack Can

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Re: Starting Now Limp to Rock
« Reply #88 on: November 19, 2017, 04:40:07 AM »
Day 115

Staying steadfast towards your values and goals during emotional turbulence is, to me, a sign that the problem you are facing is actually important to you. I have a couple of things in my life right now that I value and am working towards and a couple of other things in my life that I wish I'd value higher.

Things I value:

No PM - Being 115 days sober from masturbation and 129 days free from pornography it is apparent that I value this whole nofap lifestyle.

Lifting weights - While I'm nowhere near having a big muscular physique, I have been getting a lot stronger this year and I love to see my progress.

Passivity - It's not a positive thing I value. I spend large chunks of time doing nothing (youtube, mindless movies, distractions). I need to start cutting down on these activities. I heard this guy (don't remember his name) that was talking about how a person would behave differently if a camera crew was following him around and documenting his life. I guess that idea is just about being accountable for your actions and to your future self.


I don't want this journal to drag on and become boring so I'll just cut it off there for tonight.

Jack Can

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Re: Starting Now Limp to Rock
« Reply #89 on: November 24, 2017, 03:44:20 PM »
Day 120

OK sweet! It has been 120 days since I've used porn or masturbated. I am thankful I haven't given in to urges because in all honesty I wasn't super dedicated to ever going for this long. I feel like I have gained a lot in this new lifestyle I am trying to adapt to. Just being in this community makes me want to do things that are better for myself like reading, lifting weights, eating healthily, and overall just avoiding complacency. I think a major key to never relapsing involves avoiding complacency. I mean, I of course can understand having a super active day but then at the end of it just being in your room next to your laptop and giving in, but this I believe is when you need to have a good reason to not give in.

So how I'm doing in terms of my PIED: Unfortunately the ladies aren't really coming too frequently. I haven't O'ed in over a month and it fucking sucks. I feel like I'm at the phase in my reboot where going without M'ing isnt really helping me progress anymore. Now, that doesn't mean I'm going to start M'ing again, I just really need to find myself a girl. I've never been good at talking with girls in a boyfriend-girlfriend type of way though so IDK how this is going to go for me.
« Last Edit: November 25, 2017, 10:41:55 AM by Jack Can »

Jack Can

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Re: Starting Now Limp to Rock
« Reply #90 on: November 30, 2017, 02:57:55 AM »
Day 126

I don't mean to sound like a panzy in this post but I feel like I'm getting a lot more sensitive. I just had a very interesting conversation with this girl that is really amazing. She has a boyfriend. But she told me the story of how she met him and what their first couple of dates were like (I am terrible at thinking of things to do on a first date) I think it's why I keep getting ghosted.

But anyways... the jist of what she said was that if you want to get a really good girl it might be a good thing to avoid the sexual part for awhile.  Hangout, romance her. If she's cool she'll stick around. Don't make her uncomfortable by moving things fast.

I'm going to get to know girls better before trying to move into the sexual part.

Also, you guys might want to avoid The Punisher TV series that just came out on Netflix. There are a few sex scenes throughout it.

sleepking69

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Re: Starting Now Limp to Rock
« Reply #91 on: November 30, 2017, 11:52:00 PM »
Congrats on remaining strong, and great job at creating new a new lifestyle for yourself. That's definitely one of the things I want to take away from this reboot too-- while it sucks that we had to suffer from this, we absolutely can use this as a learning experience to bolster and to better inform the rest of our lives.

Quote
I think a major key to never relapsing involves avoiding complacency.

I feel this. I'm gonna write a post related to this topic soon.

Quote
I'm getting a lot more sensitive

That's interesting, can you elaborate on this? Is this a life thing, or is it a result of the reboot?

Jack Can

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Re: Starting Now Limp to Rock
« Reply #92 on: December 01, 2017, 06:23:46 AM »
Quote
I'm getting a lot more sensitive

That's interesting, can you elaborate on this? Is this a life thing, or is it a result of the reboot?
[/quote]

Honestly I think it's a combination of me giving up PMO and also being open to different ideas like being in a committed relationship with girls instead of one night stands.

Also, I look at the nofap website every once in awhile and heard that "No-Nut November" is a pretty big deal over there... Well if you ignore the wet dream I had on the 12th I completed that "challenge". So that's cool.
« Last Edit: December 01, 2017, 06:25:26 AM by Jack Can »

Jack Can

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Re: Starting Now Limp to Rock
« Reply #93 on: December 17, 2017, 04:39:23 AM »
Day 143

Wow, I just noticed it has been a long while since my last post, over 2 weeks! I just feel weird posting updates about how my PIED and nofap journey is going when I have not had any new sexual experiences to write about, nor have I felt any extreme desires to PMO. So I guess I'll just write a little bit about that!

Finding a girl that I like, and also that likes me (very hard to do it seems), is a huge struggle. I've "talked" and hungout with 4 different girls this past semester and none of them were interested in me as a partner. I'm not very good at talking to girls, or people in general I guess. I just wish that these girls wouldn't talk to me if they weren't looking to be in a relationship with me, it's kind of annoying to get your hopes up to only be told that this is not what they were looking for. I really need to find a way to avoid the dreaded friend zone, or ideally, avoid the girls that aren't interested in me in the first place. Any advice on this would be greatly appreciated!

On a bright side, while my desire to PMO is still there (I think it always will be, honestly), my levels of self control towards PMO'ing are very high.I feel like I have become much more thoughtful in my actions and PMO'ing just isn't the right move for me. I suppose that is the goal for anyone trying to abstain from this addiction.

A strange sense of melancholy is overtaking me as I write this... I feel that it is because my nofap journey is no longer new and exciting. This journey has taken me through a whole semester of school, introduced me to much healthier habits, and taught me that I can control my physical urges in ways that I would have not though possible before. I mean, I would regularly PMO 3-4 times a day, and now I haven't even masturbated in 143 days! This just fills me with the exciting idea that anyone can do it, I'm not special at all guys!

I know I've said this before, but I think I am officially going to stop posting on this site until I get some tangible results. This doesn't mean I will start to MO again of course, but I feel like I'm just beating a dead horse at this point posting journal updates with no update.

Thank You for all of your support over the past few months! It has both pushed me to succeed and helped me to steer clear of the dangers of PMO! This community is awesome and I will send anyone here that is struggling with Pornography. Good luck you guys! :)

sleepking69

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Re: Starting Now Limp to Rock
« Reply #94 on: December 18, 2017, 12:28:39 AM »
Hey man good to hear from you again.

I feel the same way about not being great at charisma, but do realize that that's a skill that can be worked on! I myself have improved a lot in that department, and am actively working on improving it further.

I also kind of feel the same way with respect to this journey-- it's not as exciting as it was in the beginning. I think that this could actually be a good thing. This journey is a long term thing, something that isn't measured in day to day successes. If we're constantly going paranoid over small tiny improvements, we'd go insane lol. I'm trying to be more focused on stuff like my career in this moment, stuff that's a lot more urgent so to speak (as I'm looking for internships and stuff).

But good luck in your journey man, I'll be waiting for your next post!

summercicada90

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Re: Starting Now Limp to Rock
« Reply #95 on: December 19, 2017, 12:12:11 AM »
What's interesting is, I have a friend that told me straight up a couple months ago that I had this propensity to have a set of things I'd had on my mind lately and wanted to talk about, that I was really passionate and animated and excited to share with people, but when I was talking with someone one-on-one, I would essentially keep the conversation pinned on the one topic too much, and keep going back to that topic even if the subject wandered off of it. Which he was also interested in those things and could keep talking about them with me for hours, but our mutual friends sometimes felt like they didn't have much to say about the same things, and so it felt to them like it was sometimes hard to carry on a conversation with me.

So I set about training myself to give up control of the conversation and go with the flow, and if I missed an opportunity to say something, to let it go and keep pace with whatever the new topic was. At first, it sounded so pathetic to me that I even had that problem, and it was kind of discouraging to think about. So I put it out of my head because it was fucking with my self-confidence, but I did end up finding some practical, concrete advice to follow.

It finally sank in that when you're talking to someone, the ideal thing to do is to agree and relate with them, so you can then show some initiative in opening up yourself to them, and then ask them questions to get them to open up some more. But if you can't agree or relate, the very least you can do is to be interested, and when they say something you don't quite catch or understand then ask them about it. (To quote Jordan Peterson: "People hardly ever get listened to, and they're so damn happy when you do it, that they're likely to open themselves up to you very quickly.")

And I now have a girlfriend who is super talkative and super jumpy-around with conversation topics, and she's the one who more-or-less asked me if I wanted to make it official with her on the third date, because not only do we have a lot in common, she thought that I actually cared about what she had to say more than any of her previous boyfriends did.

And just months ago, I was having terrible dates with lots of awkward silence and halting, forced conversations. There might be something to say about compatibility in terms of personality and interests, but to be absolutely honest, some of the stuff my girlfriend talks about, I wouldn't even care to talk about if it was with a guy or anyone else. But I have improved my social and conversation skills, with objectively observable results. It can be done.
(I'm not saying I won myself a girlfriend on 100% charisma and nothing else. We met on a dating app, and she's the one that approached me on the app because I met some conditions she was looking for. But I do see myself being markedly better at socializing than I used to be.)
Age 27. Current streak started on 12/10/2017. Started reboot on 8/8/2017 JST
Porn snipped the fuse to my fireworks. No more PMO.
"We barely remember who or what came before this precious moment. We are choosing to be here, right now; hold on, stay inside this holy reality, this holy experience."

Jack Can

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Re: Starting Now Limp to Rock
« Reply #96 on: January 18, 2018, 11:09:23 AM »
It's over.

After 173 days of not looking at porn or masturbating my streak has come to an end. I will probably never go for another streak, atleast of this magnitude. So, was it worth it? I guess just to learn about how my urges come and go was interesting, and my relationship with PMO was pretty extreme beforehand so overall I would say it was a good thing for me to do. I'm actually writing this a few days after my "relapse" with MO and am suprised that since that night, I have had no desire to MO again. IDK, maybe it was because the decision to MO again was on my terms and not the obsessive habit that I had created for myself in the past.

From now on I think my motto will be moderation. It's funny, reading other journals in the past that had things related to moderation in them frusturated me. I assume that was just because I was trying to be so strict with my no MO habits that anything else bothered me. But now, after becoming more aware of my body's natural cycles I know I can control myself better.

I believe that a lot of the positive aspects that people recieve from rebooting and writing down their days comes more from being aware of what you are doing with your time and not so much the retention of semen by not MO'ing. Being aware of what you are doing in the day seems to be a rarity nowadays. People put their heads down and don't experience anything, seriously, look around at people next time you are out. Switching your days up with a reboot can be very changing (for me at least) thing and can snap you out of the repetitiveness of life.

« Last Edit: April 07, 2018, 05:10:08 PM by Jack Can »

zander13

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Re: Starting Now Limp to Rock
« Reply #97 on: January 20, 2018, 01:53:25 PM »
Sorry to hear about your relapse man. I agree with everything you just said. Technology can be just as evil as it is helpful. There will be a backlash towards it, I can feel it.

Jack Can

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Re: Starting Now Limp to Rock
« Reply #98 on: February 10, 2018, 10:22:51 PM »
Hi guys, if you are in a position where you think rebooting is pointless and want to live a life where you PMO or even MO frequently just because it fits your habits and it "feels good" you may want to read this.

I went 173 days without MO'ing or using porn so you think I would've had it all figured out. I just MO'ed twice in my bathroom without porn, and wow, the first one felt glorious. About 10 minutes later though, a darkness crept over me and I went back into the bathroom to get my "fix".

That is what I'm not going to do anymore. If I'm not inspired out of happiness to MO, I will not MO. When I MO out of desperation and darkness I feel dirty afterwards. I don't think there is much more I can say on this subject so I'll just leave you guys with this:

MO while happy = Good
MO out of desperation and a lacking feeling = Bad

Learn the difference and you will be golden.

sleepking69

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Re: Starting Now Limp to Rock
« Reply #99 on: February 15, 2018, 11:29:13 AM »
Hey man thanks for the update. Just wondering-- how have things been since you decided to MO?