Author Topic: Another try at an old problem (Read 8138 times)

TakeActionNow · « **Reply #50 on:** September 20, 2017, 12:18:04 AM »

Jim,

do have a think about these few things to help you along:

1. why do you do it?
The tell tale sign happens just before we slip.
For me its quite clear: loneliness, seeking achievement, boredom

2. Do you know this is a habit?
In the book "The power of habit", the author describes habit as :
cue- routine- reward
The problem with habits is that it is automatic with little decision making.
sometimes the habit is so strong that perceived reward kicks in before routine actually takes place.

However, just as we can form a PMO habit, we can also break a PMO habit by forming new creative ones to replace the old.
http://www.kimhartman.se/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/The-Power-of-Habit-Summary.pdf
Cravings come and go. But may persist if the environment doesnt change. Best is to get out of the house for a walk or go do something that requires focus and attention.

3. Greater goal and purpose
Set a strong long term goal with meaning.
I have an end Nov goal because I'll be flying out and I want to be mentally and physically prepared for that.

4. Bonus
M and P works like a vicious cycle. They breed and promote each other.
Cut one out and the other will quickly fade.
My cutting out of M has made me less interested in P
no access to P means no need to M

5. Lastly, if its not difficult or challenging, its not worthwhile.
Surfing P and/or getting an M is too easy.
The body knows it and wont reward us with actual feel good factors.
Go find something interesting and challenging to do !

Good luck and stay focused !

lyon03 · « **Reply #51 on:** September 20, 2017, 06:26:09 AM »

Well done brother on a week PMO (porn, masturbation, orgasm) free. Keep coming back! PORN IS NOT AN OPTION.

Jimbodel · « **Reply #52 on:** September 25, 2017, 06:25:08 PM »

Week 2, easy.

DV8 · « **Reply #53 on:** September 29, 2017, 09:43:20 PM »

Congrats on your week two and more by now. It was at this point that I notice a shift in will power. This might sound odd but 30 days was easier that two weeks. Keep up the good work.

lyon03 · « **Reply #54 on:** September 30, 2017, 05:03:16 PM »

Well done on two weeks my friend. Keep us posted. PORN IS NOT AN OPTION.

Jimbodel · « **Reply #55 on:** October 03, 2017, 09:49:52 PM »

3 weeks, no temptation at all. Even stumbled upon a naughty picture when I was looking for reviews on THE MUMMY (horrible Tom Cruise movie SUCKED) and looked at it, said "that's not what I wanted" and closed the window.

Not surprised THE MUMMY gets 26%.

Thanks to all for the replies. For me setting long range benchmarks is much better than day by day.

lyon03 · « **Reply #56 on:** October 04, 2017, 09:18:52 AM »

Congratulations on three weeks my friend. That's a huge milestone. Please keep posting and providing updates. PORN IS NOT AN OPTION.

Jimbodel · « **Reply #57 on:** October 12, 2017, 03:59:38 PM »

4+ weeks, still sliding along.

I can't believe how much better feeling sex is with my wife than when I was watching P and having to visualize it to get off. Night and day.

Cheers all.

lyon03 · « **Reply #58 on:** October 16, 2017, 02:36:00 AM »

Well done brother. I look forward to your next post/update. Keep coming back! PORN IS NOT AN OPTION.

Strikeatruepath · « **Reply #59 on:** October 16, 2017, 10:49:02 AM »

Great stuff! Already you are seeing major improvement in your life...

Jimbodel · « **Reply #60 on:** October 17, 2017, 09:12:14 PM »

Hi All. 5 weeks yesterday, zero temptation. I think it is like my buddy who quit smoking, one day he looked at me and said "I am sick of this", he butted out and never smoked again; well the same for me. Hope it sticks but I think it will.

lyon03 · « **Reply #61 on:** October 18, 2017, 02:17:45 AM »

Well done on going "cold turkey" my friend. Keep going! PORN IS NOT AN OPTION.

Jimbodel · « **Reply #62 on:** October 20, 2017, 08:18:17 PM »

Hmm, feeling a little tempted today but haven't given in. Decided to come here and read some posts of other struggles to get me over the hump and it helped.

lyon03 · « **Reply #63 on:** October 22, 2017, 09:31:55 AM »

Good for you! How are things going with your reboot my friend? I look forward to your next post/update. PORN IS NOT AN OPTION.

Jimbodel · « **Reply #64 on:** January 04, 2018, 04:40:57 PM »

Hello folks, I am back. Since my last post I failed twice, each time I would go about 2 weeks and then cave in and always when I was home and bored. I have been coming here every day since 28 Dec and reading three or four posts from other people to realize how shitty porn is and to reinforce the fact that I am done with it. I have a reminder that pops up on my desktop every day and says "Reboot Nation" to remind me to read. I have also set my DNS to opendns which has a built in family filter. While porn blockers can be beaten, this one is a bit of a pain to do so being that you have to log into your router, change the dns, save the settings and then reboot your modem, about a 10 minute process. Hopefully that lag will help me defend against the urge. I use to use K9 but that was so simple to disable, a quick password and done.

If anyone wants to know how to use opendns with family filter google OPENDNS and then use the two dns that are set for filtering, or I can help you.

Jimbodel · « **Reply #65 on:** January 06, 2018, 03:10:23 PM »

day 9 of my latest try. This time as soon as anything pops into my head I immediately push it out, I never use to do that.

Jimbodel · « **Reply #66 on:** January 09, 2018, 05:11:48 PM »

This is day 12 of my latest go; funny as soon as my wife left for work at noon my brain began to tempt me to do what I shouldn't. I fought it off and came here to read instead. Obviously I have trained my brain to look for PMO when she goes to work, sort of like Pavlov's dog. Knowing the signs and symptons will help me beat it.

unchained · « **Reply #67 on:** January 09, 2018, 06:07:52 PM »

Hi,
I'm back after being gone for a pretty good while and can relate to journal, especially the on-again off-again roller coaster of successes and failures. After reading through your journal, each of your last three posts resonated with me:

Quote from: Jimbodel on January 04, 2018, 04:40:57 PM

I have also set my DNS to opendns which has a built in family filter.

Thanks for the suggestion. I plan on installing OpenDNS on my router tonight. Covenant Eyes works really well for me and is on every devise that I have access to with exception to my PS4. I am hoping OpenDNS at the router level on my home network will be an effective way to make the PS4 safe.

Quote from: Jimbodel on January 06, 2018, 03:10:23 PM

day 9 of my latest try. This time as soon as anything pops into my head I immediately push it out, I never use to do that.

Consider reading a bit about breath meditation. It can help you become better and better at what you just did. Over time it becomes much easier to focus your attention away from unwanted thoughts. It's just like working out a muscle...you will become better at directing your thoughts with practice.

Quote from: Jimbodel on January 09, 2018, 05:11:48 PM

funny as soon as my wife left for work at noon my brain began to tempt me to do what I shouldn't. I fought it off and came here to read instead. Obviously I have trained my brain to look for PMO when she goes to work, sort of like Pavlov's dog.

My wife leaving for work in the morning is the #1 trigger for me, too. It's just like you said...Pavlov's dog. I can hear the garage door go up and my body begins to react. The two days a week that my wife works means that I have an hour and a half of alone time with an unprotected PS4 that has been my stumbling block over and over. Hopefully, your OpenDNS suggestion will take it off the table.

Jimbodel · « **Reply #68 on:** January 11, 2018, 01:58:09 PM »

Thanks unchained. Wife left for work at 930 and no thoughts at all, I think that now that I have recognized the trigger I am able to defeat it. I have also stopped freezing the tv to stare at babes on it too, something I use to do even with my wife beside me.

day 14 today, but I have gone 35 before so 14 isn't much of a mark.

Jimbodel · « **Reply #69 on:** January 13, 2018, 02:06:17 PM »

17 days (13 Jan); my wife left for work and no urge to jump on the porn wagon occurred, that is great.

Jimbodel · « **Reply #70 on:** January 14, 2018, 01:07:47 PM »

Day 18 (14 Jan). Going well so far, wife left for work and only a slight impulse to surf, but it won't happen. I am going hard core this time around, no touching or anything, the previous times I would MO and I failed as my thoughts would turn to P scenes or stories. At least this morning I was thinking about sex with my wife (wanting too) instead of sex scenes.

Jimbodel · « **Reply #71 on:** January 15, 2018, 12:46:07 PM »

D19 (15 Jan)

Thanks EM. It was funny, I was great all yesterday, no problem, then around 4 I started getting tired (sick) and a commercial came on that has a babe on it, well that got me thinking and suddenly I had a fight on my hands. I won in the end, but bloody hell such little things cause turmoil.

My brain started the argument "so what if you check out babes online, what is it going to hurt? Go on PMO". Still feeling residual affects today, so I still have a wee fight.

I will search that article.

Jimbodel · « **Reply #72 on:** January 16, 2018, 04:51:32 PM »

D20 (16 Jan) Yesterday was a bit of a struggle at times, the monster kept crawling out and ambushing me but I held my ground and fought the good fight. When my wife came home from work I knew I was safe and that I had won, the bastard was defeated. I felt very happy with myself.

Jimbodel · « **Reply #73 on:** January 18, 2018, 12:56:13 PM »

D22 (18 Jan) A very short M relapse last night of a minute or so, but nothing major and not enough to worry about. Working hard to day though to overcome the urge that still lingers.

Jimbodel · « **Reply #74 on:** January 20, 2018, 04:49:37 PM »

D24 (20 Jan) Feel great, got laid this morning! I found out that just being middle aged can cause your erection to disappear in the middle of sex. When we were young we were all encompassed by getting laid, so we had no problems, but as we get older we have to concentrate more to keep it up. What happens is that our brain will wander if we are not 100% into the act, and since your brain thinks of something else it tells your penis to relax.

The other night I went 1/2 soft in the middle of sex, but it was right after my back started bothering me (spinal problems) and I started thinking about that. I read about the wandering brain on a doctor's website, but can't remember which one. Makes total sense.

Stupid brain..."I'M OUTTA HERE!"