Author Topic: My Turn to Start 10 July 2017  (Read 33696 times)

TakeActionNow

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Re: My Turn to Start 10 July 2017
« Reply #325 on: November 17, 2017, 06:03:07 PM »
The toughest thing to do so far is staying focused on long term goals.

Getting sucked into the short term
Feeling the full on negative forces
Going for the quick fix
Paying the price

That's not meaningful
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Re: My Turn to Start 10 July 2017
« Reply #326 on: November 17, 2017, 06:16:19 PM »
Don't waste your time, love, thoughts, feelings and energy on people, activities or things that don't appreciate you. All these are extremely limited resources and we need to treasure them deeply

Just because it has become a habit doesn't mean its meaningful.

Dont love the pmo people because they will never love you back. Love only people who loves you too.

Do the things that have meaning, and benefit others.
Recognize the benefit.

For every moment spent externally, consider a moment or 2 to spend it internally.
And spend some time appreciating all the goodness flowing towards you from outside.

As addicts or people with great dependence, our cravings and habits will drive us into deep and dark places. We need to relearn to walk in the light, and be comfortable with who we are and what the world throws at us.
« Last Edit: November 17, 2017, 06:23:56 PM by TakeActionNow »
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Re: My Turn to Start 10 July 2017
« Reply #327 on: November 17, 2017, 06:52:40 PM »
I know i have v strong external dependence
I need people to like me (because i dont like myself ?)
I need deep 1:1 connection (because I'm not connected with myself?)
I need (but oddly often reject) external attention.

Time to role reverse.
Do whats good for me
Let, accept and receive external love
Plan meaningful long term projects for myself
Build confidence and reliance on myself
Love myself as i would love my loves
« Last Edit: November 17, 2017, 07:13:39 PM by TakeActionNow »
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Re: My Turn to Start 10 July 2017
« Reply #328 on: November 17, 2017, 11:21:23 PM »
I'm letting the day pass me by without a clear goal in mind and im not happy about that.

Too long in my life i just take whats handed to me, and not have clear vision of where i want to go and be.
 
I need to spend some time to think
Cant be running away from my concerns all the time.
Need to face them head on, all the time

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Re: My Turn to Start 10 July 2017
« Reply #329 on: November 18, 2017, 12:30:00 AM »
The irony
I try so hard to get away from everything, and it appears i am successful.
And now i am desperate because i have nothing to do
The irony
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Re: My Turn to Start 10 July 2017
« Reply #330 on: November 18, 2017, 01:19:41 AM »
Why Pmo messes up your reality

The people, lifestyle, activities in p doesnt exist in your life. Its like saying i want to live in the matrix.

What happens is that you cant connect with your actual reality.
And you find your actual reality mundane, unfulfilling and unexciting.
And you're no longer interested in it.
Which is terrible because you live in reality, not your fantasy that is P.

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Re: My Turn to Start 10 July 2017
« Reply #331 on: November 18, 2017, 02:58:08 AM »
Do not engage with any P or stimulating material.

1. They stimulate the mind
2. The body responds.with hormonal release needed
3. If activity is not carried out, body is charged but not utilized
4. The state is tense and uncomfortable
5. Mood will change to anger and unhappiness

That is why monks need to stay away from women folk.
Contact is enough to cause deep psychological and emotional issues.
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Re: My Turn to Start 10 July 2017
« Reply #332 on: November 19, 2017, 07:33:00 AM »
Some self reflection today

I have been lazy, entitled and negative.
I have been needy, not giving thanks, not appreciative
I have been taking, rarely giving
I have been complaining, rarely contributing

Need to break out of this mold

I need to apply my running mantras to life now...
I am a hard-working person
I am a positive person
I am an appreciative person
!!!
« Last Edit: November 19, 2017, 10:16:13 AM by TakeActionNow »
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Re: My Turn to Start 10 July 2017
« Reply #333 on: November 19, 2017, 07:00:00 PM »
A CONSTANT STATE OF DISSATISFACTION

I googled on loneliness
i rationalized i have unresolved anxiety
i may not have proper care and comfort when very young
since young i have been attention seeking
meaning i am outwards focused not inwards
PMO makes it worse because my personal satisfaction comes from external means
And any level of happiness comes from what i perceived others give me, not what i give me.

This problem extends into work
where I am oriented towards what others think of me, instead of being goal oriented.
Therefore work and study satisfaction diminished.

I often look back and think what i could have done better.
Again this constant search for perfection is very hard on myself and hurts me

I think of what others have done, going all out to get what they want, whereas i have held back for this reason or that. This thinking also hurt me alot.

So
I M to the one I love, hoping she will love me back
I M to girls of P, hoping to feel some attention.
Ironically over time, I made pursuit of woman (P) a priority
A goal that can never be satisfied.



What is love, really?
Why do we keep on chasing things/people we like but hurt us?
When will i do things that really benefit me?
PMO doesnt benefit me
It feels good but it doesnt benefit me
attention seeking feels good but doesnt benefit me
looking back and finding solutions feel good but doesnt benefit me,

however,
there are many other hard stuff that doesnt feel good but benefit me
goal setting, discipline doesnt feel good but benefits me







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Re: My Turn to Start 10 July 2017
« Reply #334 on: November 20, 2017, 02:38:41 AM »
This is silly.
All my life I've been running away
From responsibility, from ownership, from relationships.
I often thought i was not good enough. I feel shame. Not worthy. Leaving was to save me some pride.

Yet in this period of reboot i have gain much clarity.
My running away was just old behavior.
Little by little I'm taking on more.
Its like playing computer game. What to get better? Work on it. Improve myself.
With pmo there is little urgency to improve.
Now that i am without pmo, self improvement in various areas are so much more attractive.
I just want to do well.

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Re: My Turn to Start 10 July 2017
« Reply #335 on: November 20, 2017, 12:09:48 PM »
More clarity everyday.
What is satisfaction?
Pmo never gives any real satisfaction.
Looking at pretty girls give no long term satisfaction

Satisfaction comes with effort and reward.
Like the satisfaction of success
Of job well done
Of achievement
Of new knowledge learnt, position gained.
Thats satisfaction.
It comes from dedication and focus
Of determination and opinion.
The belief of self.
Thats satisfaction
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Re: My Turn to Start 10 July 2017
« Reply #336 on: November 21, 2017, 06:22:45 AM »
TAN, I like your sincere questioning. No stone unturned, you are really going through change.

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Re: My Turn to Start 10 July 2017
« Reply #337 on: November 21, 2017, 09:57:38 AM »
Thanks strike.
Reboot is like a wave, but little by little we are moving away from old ways and seeing more in new ways.

Many things are very unexpected.
Its like all or nothing.

Once i fully realized that seeking external attention is totally meaningless, everything relating to it falls to dust:
attraction to pretty women falls to dust
wanting others to look me up falls to dust
pretending to be someone i'm not falls to dust
fantasy thinking falls to dust.

And the opposite is immediately enlightened :
strong steely determination to improve myself
less distraction and worry over what other people think
greater focus in what we want to achieve in life
less desire to change ourselves in the hope of others liking us more.


The distinction literally is night and day.
When the conscious is clear,
there is no struggle, because acceptance is immediate
there is no attraction, because that outcome is undesirable
there is no weakness, because dependence is on within, not with out

What is clear however, is knowing:
what really makes me happy
what really satisfies me
what is really important
>>> they all do not come from external.
They all come from dedicated effort


What are the key developments that help me to reach this stage?
- moving out from negativity
- gaining the satisfaction of achievement through perseverance
- gaining a sense of independence, self importance and self reliance, by moving away from dependence on others
- connecting with my emotions without labeling them
- managing myself and not others
- discovering the joys of engaging fully with whatever i am doing, instead of finding ways to escape


What bad behaviors did PMO teach?
- dependence/reliance on others for my happiness and satisfaction, even though it never delivers
- focusing on escaping, instead of focusing on engaging and attacking
- fantasy thinking and ignoring reality
- selfcenteredness instead of being happy for self and others.
- attention to words and image, instead of action and effort
- of irresponsibility and ignorance of our true self and our true needs

Pmo is a drug. It takes and takes from you but never once gives back. We are eventually left empty and dry, needy and unfulfilled. The only way to fill us up is to find true sense of accomplishment.

Its not simply an issue of dopamine, of addiction, of limp dick syndrome.
Its more of learned behavior, of attitude and approach.

Many guys here who still struggle havent reach this insight yet
its not a special insight because people who dont have pmo addiction already know and live this way.
perhaps that's why they live more grounded lives, and is more at peace with themselves

The moment you realize you dont need pmo to feel good, is the moment you realize you don't need pmo anymore.

When i start to accept and embrace my pains, i start to see and recognize other people's pains. And i realize we are one and the same. No entitlement, no special treatment. And i can reach deeper into myself and pull myself up, and hopefully pull others up with me. I am imperfect, and I can accept that.
« Last Edit: November 21, 2017, 05:19:29 PM by TakeActionNow »
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Re: My Turn to Start 10 July 2017
« Reply #338 on: November 21, 2017, 04:25:27 PM »
I see pmo as feeling sorry for ourselves.

We could have spent time with a real human being, but we settled for a video instead.
We could have taken the challenge to woo a girl and win the day, but instead we took the safe way out, and end up w an empty bed.
We could have had a real relationship, but we were only obsessed with make believe ones
We set ourselves up for failure, because what we had was never real
We keep going back, hoping it'll get better, but obviously it never will
We keep feeding ourselves these false tales even as reality passes us by.
Soon we find ourselves empty and void, because we've been constantly giving but never receiving.

And we wonder why we are such failures.
Because we've become beggers, happy to have left over scraps and never seeking more.
And we keep going back, never learning that fire is deadly for the moth

Because all we do is feel sorry for ourselves, but never really picking ourselves up, doing the difficult stuff, and cherishing and respecting the wonderful uniqueness of who we are, that we deserve better, and that only reality and ourselves can give us what we truly need.

That's pmo
That's you. That's me
« Last Edit: November 21, 2017, 04:53:19 PM by TakeActionNow »
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Re: My Turn to Start 10 July 2017
« Reply #339 on: November 21, 2017, 04:45:17 PM »
Interesting Newton's law is applicable in relationships and psychology:
Every action has an equal and opposite reaction:
You give, seeking return.
You ask, seeking feedback.
You make love, and in return receive love

But you cum in your hands, and then what? Nothing.
And this repeated behavior only teaches and reinforce one thing: you are worthless in the eyes of the world

But is that true? No
But why do we feel this way? Because the pmo practices can only deliver these results.

How do you change belief? Change practices.
Changing practices changes results.
Changing results changes behavior
Changing behavior changes belief
Changing belief changes Outlook

If you firmly believe you deserve the best, you will know pmo is the worst. It not only does not deliver, it also takes much away.
Why wear a shit stained shirt when you can have clean washed linen?
Choices my friends. Make the best choices for your self and stop settling for whats detrimental for you.
« Last Edit: November 21, 2017, 04:51:31 PM by TakeActionNow »
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Re: My Turn to Start 10 July 2017
« Reply #340 on: November 21, 2017, 05:27:56 PM »
The most attractive men are those who give more than they take.
They can give because they are filled up internally.
They are filled up because they have been collecting successes.
They are successful because they have made effort
And their effort gives actual rewards.

Pmo only takes, never gives
It involves no effort, hence there is no reward
Through it, what little successes we have we gave it away.
Very soon we are empty, and become needy.
And unattractive.

Giving is costly.
Giving takes energy
Start to be more observant of people who are giving. They are either overflowing, or actually seeking return.

Realize that when you pmo, you are actually giving. You are not taking, because there's nothing to take.
It is costly.
« Last Edit: November 21, 2017, 05:42:23 PM by TakeActionNow »
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Re: My Turn to Start 10 July 2017
« Reply #341 on: November 21, 2017, 07:07:29 PM »
People are successful because they endure
They are positive
They are goal oriented
They are long term
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Re: My Turn to Start 10 July 2017
« Reply #342 on: November 21, 2017, 08:17:40 PM »
Most people think PMO addiction only has to do with an interest with sex. It is not. It is a learned behavior that visual stimulus is the main means to happiness and satisfaction.
That means happiness and satisfaction is externally dependent.

But just as it is a learned behavior, it can be unlearned, or new replacement behaviors can be learned.

What you need to do is look deeper, beyond the cravings, and into the root of your thoughts and beliefs.

Only then can you find out what you truly need to do for change.

Remember, it is not about satisfying a craving.
It is what you are doing with your life.
You have only 1 life.
Learn to make the most of it
« Last Edit: November 22, 2017, 05:04:42 PM by TakeActionNow »
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Re: My Turn to Start 10 July 2017
« Reply #343 on: November 22, 2017, 04:57:23 PM »
Its been a painful day, I suddenly had anxiety early in the morning and have been feeling very down the whole day after writing these stuff earlier.

1. many thoughts i practiced are learned behaviors
> I have been focusing on wrong things as importance
> i have not truly been loving others

2. I am negative because i am craving for too much attention (external)
And I am too responsive to external stimuli
that may be why i constantly need to escape
>only inner set goals can keep me on track to meet my personal achievements
>only inner set goals can give me self respect and self worth

3. i spend too much time thinking about my problems (past) instead of focusing on what i need to do to get better (future)

4. embrace the pain. dont run from it (that's what i have been doing for all these years w pmo) Only in embracing it do we understand why we have it and so we can find a way to solve it

5. We PMO because we dont know other better ways to be good and kind to ourselves
Do we have good reward methods for ourselves?
Do we take care and love ourselves like we do our loved ones?
Do we feed and spend on ourselves appropriately ?
Are we overly harsh and critical and self deprecating and over perfectionist?
Do we hide the truth from ourselves to keep up pretenses with ourselves?
> We need to learn to be loving and kind towards ourselves.
PMO hides this need. That's why its never solved and why we keep coming back to it.


Where is happiness ? What is happiness ?
My personal standands define that:
Set too high a bar and I'll always be unhappy
Focusing on the negatives and I'll always be unhappy
Looking at the wrong places (only what i want) and I'll always be unhappy

Giving kindly to others and i will find it
appreciating little things and i will find it
looking for it in the right places and i will find it
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Re: My Turn to Start 10 July 2017
« Reply #344 on: November 22, 2017, 05:13:57 PM »
Epiphany!

I look to the past because the past is clear, certain and absolute
I dont look to the future because it is a black screen of absolute unknown to me. Black uncertainty scares me

But

If i can venture on holidays in new countries with excitement and joy, why can't i view the future in the same way?

Suddenly i see a future of joy and discovery.
And i am interested in it
And i want to embrace that beautiful future.

See, I've been training my eyes on problems, so future view is filled with problems.
But if i train my eyes on discovery, then future eye will be full of discovery!!!

Its all mindset and perspective
« Last Edit: November 22, 2017, 05:15:34 PM by TakeActionNow »
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Re: My Turn to Start 10 July 2017
« Reply #345 on: November 22, 2017, 05:26:02 PM »
The trouble with pmo, is we want to be with those girls, but we CAN'T!!!!
And that fucks us up badly.
And to be constantly living in a world that you can't get what you want, how does that make you feel?
Damn shitty!

Fuck that!
I want what i want and i want what i have
If i don't have it i don't want it.
Its that simple.
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Re: My Turn to Start 10 July 2017
« Reply #346 on: November 22, 2017, 05:34:04 PM »
She doesn't respect me because i dont respect me.
I can only respect me when i do the things i said i would do.
So before i start asking others to respect me, i better start gaining some self respect first.
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Re: My Turn to Start 10 July 2017
« Reply #347 on: November 23, 2017, 08:56:07 PM »
All these years of neglecting or avoiding our emotions, no wonder it is so challenging to deal with it today.
But emotions are actually easy to manage.
1. Don't label it.
2. Experience and embrace it, both good and bad
3. Ride it through completely. The end is always good.
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Re: My Turn to Start 10 July 2017
« Reply #348 on: November 23, 2017, 09:00:27 PM »
The years in PMO has taught some very poor habits:
1. over emphasis on others
2. desiring attention from those who don't love us, but ignoring or neglecting those who do.

PMO is taking self love and giving away to strangers.
It trains us to remain in a unreceiving loveless state, and we do not learn to see or appreciate real love happening to us.
Always craving, never getting, perpetually empty.

Let's take our love and put it where it matters, with ourselves and people who truly love us.
« Last Edit: November 24, 2017, 12:26:47 AM by TakeActionNow »
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Re: My Turn to Start 10 July 2017
« Reply #349 on: November 24, 2017, 01:34:13 AM »
Walking by the park yesterday i look at the plants in a new way. I was thinking these tree will be here after i am gone from this world.
Such is the shortness and limits of our lives.
I need to give thanks and remember to live each day meaningfully

There is no afterlife, no reincarnation.

We have only 1 life. Live it well and preciously.
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