Author Topic: 70 and finally facing the problem.  (Read 178 times)

Faemer

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70 and finally facing the problem.
« on: February 27, 2019, 11:22:39 PM »
Day 1. I'm 70 and have been struggling with sexual addiction for decades.  The internet has exacerbated the problem significantly.  Now porn is at my finger tips 24/7.  Smart phones have made it even worse.
So today is day 1.  Tomorrow will be easy. Day 12 is when the triggers start attacking me. Any help is appreciated.

TakeActionNow

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Re: 70 and finally facing the problem.
« Reply #1 on: February 28, 2019, 05:53:50 AM »
Its not gonna be easy.
The key is replacement.
What activities can
- keep you busy?
- make you happy?
Keep your day busy. Plan in advance.
You may be too late if you are struggling to find replacement when urges kick in.
Other neat tricks:
1. No electronics in the bedroom
2. Open windows, no privacy
3. Turn off wifi 4G
4. Engage with people more

A crazy trick:
Go live in a dorm for a while
Lots of people to talk to, no privacy.

We're kicking a habit.
Its all about replacement.
Good luck
Self Worth, Self Respect, Self Love
Purpose before Person

negativity > depression > ACTION > non-self pity > Goals > growth > STRENGTH > REALITY > Attention > Interests > Challenge > Choice > COURAGE > I LOVE MYSELF > Masculinity > UnBlock > selfheal

Faemer

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Re: 70 and finally facing the problem.
« Reply #2 on: March 02, 2019, 12:15:48 AM »
Day 3.  Focusing on the positive. Exercise.  Finished an Ironman 5 years ago and now training again.  Weather not helping though.  I've added meditation and yoga to the mix. Both require focus on the breath a great tool when anxiety about this addiction raises its head. I'm also trying to organize my day ahead of time.   So progress.  Still in the early phase.

Faemer

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Re: 70 and finally facing the problem.
« Reply #3 on: March 04, 2019, 05:25:45 PM »
Day 4.   Triggers.  The first is the natural drive to reproduce. It is  natural even at 70.  I will hopefully define my triggers in the days ahead.

Faemer

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Re: 70 and finally facing the problem.
« Reply #4 on: March 05, 2019, 02:46:50 PM »
Day 5.  I am alone at the computer after a yoga workout.  The first trigger hit there.  There was a woman next to me during the class that caught my eye.  Young, attractive, curvy and we  had a common bond: horses.  She wants to get together and go for a ride.  Now I am home alone at the computer fighting the urge to visit a site or two.  And it is only day 5.  Attractive women that are not afraid to show their curves and have a common bond seem to trigger the urge.  On to work instead of focusing on the urge. 

BeerMan

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Re: 70 and finally facing the problem.
« Reply #5 on: March 05, 2019, 03:33:15 PM »
I've come to realize that the triggers will always be there.  Hell, I have triggers now I never had before.  I think it's just a matter of learning to control ourselves.   In a way I've sort of adjusted to that trigger excitement and am learning to keep it and enjoy it instead of fapping it away. 
Stay strong my friend

Faemer

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Re: 70 and finally facing the problem.
« Reply #6 on: March 06, 2019, 05:37:30 PM »
Day 6. Thanks beerman. I'm learning there are triggers I can't control and triggers I can control.  That beautiful woman at the gym will always be a trigger.  Deal with it.  The lite porn on tv which is my second trigger I can control. Day 6 has been good.  Thanks.

workinprogressUK

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Re: 70 and finally facing the problem.
« Reply #7 on: March 07, 2019, 09:57:00 AM »
I'm learning there are triggers I can't control and triggers I can control.

Agreed. I remember a Counselor working with me on 1st-level and 2nd-level controls. I found that helpful. The first level ones were things like throwing away all your old collection, deleting (properly deleting) any legacy web or email accounts, maybe changing your cellphone number, getting a P filter for your laptop/TV, not having screens in your bedroom, disabling home WiFi after 23:00, rearranging the furniture in rooms you used to act out in and generally changing-up any of the locations and habits that your brain associated with using P. You know? Like physical barriers? It took some work but it created a fire-break between trigger and action. They work up to a point, but if you really want to throw yourself off the cliff and go find some P, none of those 1st-level barriers will truly stop you. The 2nd-level barriers were the "deep and meaningful" ways that you reprogram your brain and reorganise your thinking and beliefs. They're the ones that allow our recovering brains to process triggers (a person in the gym) in a different way and not freak-out over them. The L2's are the powerful ones and they require a lot more investment. I don't know. Maybe barking up the wrong tree, but hopefully we're on the same page. Writing this has reminded me of the need to rearrange the layout of my home office  ;D. Every time i go in there i feel triggered. So even if me drivelling-on has done nothing for you...... it's been worthwhile for me  :P