Author Topic: Aiming for a genuine and healthy me  (Read 7823 times)

Punk Monk

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Re: Aiming for a genuine and healthy me
« Reply #75 on: February 11, 2018, 03:25:44 PM »
Dude...are you me?

A lot of the same has happened to me throughout the month of January (reasons are in my most recent post). But that "soft stuff", man. It's a killer.  Like you, I got to a point where I just felt awful and unfulfilled afterwards.

Now I realized that it's my mind's limbic lizard-brain response to stress and discomfort that's driving me to it. Since for the longest time, that was the easiest way to get the dopamine rush. But TAN's advice is spot on. Finding better ways to utilize time and minimize stress are great ways to rewire the brain from porn.

Good luck, brother. And thanks for posting.

P. Monk

Strikeatruepath

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Re: Aiming for a genuine and healthy me
« Reply #76 on: March 06, 2018, 06:16:06 AM »
Thanks Monk for the post and good wishes.

Still battling the urge to surf and peek at pictures on the internet. I have a stash too which I am working my way round to deleting. The stash is something I rarely look at, but is the product of an urge to gather and to keep. I had the same thing with the porn videos -a large stash- but thankfully that stuff is all gone now and I haven't searched for or watched a porn video for 8 months and counting.
Searching and clicking my way through a huge variety of images is the thing that I am addicted to now. Basically I have gone down to a low level "maintenance" use, but I really want to be free of this addiction altogether.
I seem to be weak willed and lacking in strength/commitment right now. I am going through some fairly tough times.
Well I can give this up and I will. I need to finish my reboot ie complete freedom from searching for/viewing pictures that turn me on. I feel pissed off that I gave up those videos only to find that I have another big hill to climb. Ok, lets go for it

TakeActionNow

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Re: Aiming for a genuine and healthy me
« Reply #77 on: March 06, 2018, 06:38:09 PM »
Strike,
It seems to me you are still missing out on 2 important things in your life:
1. Interests
2. Urgency

1. Give yourself clear goals for 2018.
For me its to read 50 books
Do things I've never done before
Do that which I'll regret not doing when i die

2. Urgency
There's about 7000 days left before we become seriously infirm in body and mind.
Then we slowly wait to die, if not dead already.

Every hour spent wasted away on unimportant stuff is an hour less to live.
In coming clean, there is one important revelation i found :
No amount of external can replace the calm ajd comfort of the internal.
But if we give in to all our emotions, we will never see the light of achievement of the dreams that is our person.

Be strong my friend.
Only strength begets strength.
Have faith in yourself to let go of this meaningless and self centered activity immediately and reclaim you life back
Self Worth, Self Respect, Self Love
Purpose before Person

negativity > depression > ACTION > non-self pity > Goals > growth > STRENGTH > REALITY > Attention > Interests > Challenge > Choice > COURAGE > I LOVE MYSELF > Masculinity > UnBlock > selfheal

Strikeatruepath

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Re: Aiming for a genuine and healthy me
« Reply #78 on: March 07, 2018, 06:50:49 AM »
Thanks for those very clear and relevant points/reminders and suggestions TAN. I am taking them on board as I go ahead now

Strikeatruepath

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Re: Aiming for a genuine and healthy me
« Reply #79 on: March 16, 2018, 06:19:43 AM »
Well I did it -I deleted my stash of sexy pictures. Yay!

And I have gone for a week now with no "seeking and peeking" on the internet. I am feeling better already and also my dick is a bit more lively. Positive changes in other areas of life too with art, music and community action.

I have suffered with anxiety and depression all my life. I believe this has led me to seek escape through porn/sexy images -not just escape, but to feel some sexual excitement/aliveness when the depression saps my sexual energy. Forcing myself to get aroused as when I'm aroused I am not aware of the problems and the crappy uncomfortable feelings. With disastrous consequences!
But now I have a clear awareness of what has happened and how it made the anxiety and depression so much worse.

I really feel like I am making progress in leaving it behind and "striking my true path"

Strikeatruepath

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Re: Aiming for a genuine and healthy me
« Reply #80 on: April 04, 2018, 04:32:28 AM »
Still going strong on the no-seeking-or-peeking!

I am very glad about this, but it has left an emptiness and my dick is lifeless. I believe that my low mood/depression has always been there and that porn and sexually exciting images were a way of making myself feel better. This "worked" for a short time but I became addicted and caught in a vicious downward spiral. Now I am dealing with it.

The Five Ways to Wellbeing make a lot of sense to me as a way to go forward:

1. Connect.
2. Be active.
3. Take notice (of what you are experiencing within and around you)
4. Keep learning.
5. Give.

With meditation, affirmations, creativity and healthy eating.

Thanks for reading guys


Karzam

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Re: Aiming for a genuine and healthy me
« Reply #81 on: April 04, 2018, 06:13:14 AM »
Hi Strike,

 Congratulations on getting rid of your picture stash, and welcome to flat lining! ;) I'd definitely agree with what TAN said, find something to occupy your mind and body, otherwise there's the risk you'll find yourself creeping back towards porn, almost as a default activity.

 From my own personal experience and if you can afford it, I'd say get therapy for your depression. I had depression plus social & sexual anxiety for decades and it absolutely had an effect of my use of porn, with the porn then negatively influencing them in return. Obviously what's having an effect on you won't be exactly the same as it was for me, but I'd be surprised if there wasn't some impact (in both directions).

Karzam