Author Topic: You could have done it long ago  (Read 17253 times)

shake19

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You could have done it long ago
« on: March 07, 2014, 08:45:15 AM »
ABOUT ME
I am 23 and I have been PMO'ing for about 10 years now and I have never shared this fact with anybody (maybe except the priest - I am Christian) - this is my first time to write about it.
I am regular guy for my age, I do sports, study, work, meet with my friends, spend time with family, party. I had some nice girlfriends too, but even in that time I was PMO'ing.

Since last year I am stubbornly trying to completely reboot myself from this devastating thing.
Unfortunately my longest achievement (completely without PMO) was about 3 weeks and of course my goal is to stay away from PMO for the rest of my life.


PURPOSE OF RELAPSE
After such a long struggle I finally realised what was the purpose for my relapse.
At some point of my rebooting I permitted myself to watch some porn - and that was always the devastating trigger.
At the moment when I permitted myself to watch some porn, I always thought that I have it under control and nothing can happen to my mind. It is the biggest lie my mind can do to me.
It is not a consciousness that push me to the porn - it is my weakened brain, it is my long-lasting habit, I even call it a devil.


GAIN FROM REBOOT
For all the rebooting periods I felt like I am building my mind again.
I was becoming strong and confident. My decisions were precise and fully conscious.
I was found much more attractive for women.
I smiled a lot and I was becoming a person that I always dreamt to be.
I love that state of mind.


NOWADAYS
I am on my reboot day 2.
I feel that NOW I started my straight way to complete reboot.
I realised that I lost too many days blaming myself for PMO.
I had an oppotunity to break free from PMO for many times, but I always permitted myself to relapse.
NOW I wouldn't do this mistake again and I want to share this with you.


ADVICE
You also can do it!
« Last Edit: March 28, 2014, 05:56:53 AM by shake19 »

Androg

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Re: You could have done it long ago
« Reply #1 on: March 07, 2014, 01:31:56 PM »
Good luck. All that experience will pay off now. What helps you the most to distract yourself from cravings?

Gabe Deem

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Re: You could have done it long ago
« Reply #2 on: March 07, 2014, 02:59:24 PM »
Hey shake19,

It is great that you are able to step back and evaluate yourself. That is very difficult to do. Sharing this info will help others do the same.

Quote
At some point of my rebooting I permitted myself to watch some porn - and that was always the devastating trigger.


A brain that is addicted has a sneaky way of permitting us to do what we know we should not. Addiction experts call this struggle with self control and decision making hypofrontality. This happens in our frontal cortex (behind our forehead) where our more rational part of our brains wants to recover from porn addiction and expects to feel like crap after a porn binge, but loses the battle to cravings due to really strong pathways we have made in our brains by using porn for years. With hypofrontality, frontal cortex gray matter and functioning decrease, reducing impulse control. Now, in the tug-of-war between long-term goals and short-term relief, the urge to watch porn can win this battle if we do not recognize it is happening.

So keep an eye out for your triggers, and when found replace them with something healthier or time better spent. The more you re-direct your behavior to something else instead of porn, your self control in your frontal cortex will get stronger! Pretty sweet stuff

For more science on these processes read this breakdown: http://yourbrainonporn.com/rewire-your-brain-using-ocd-neuroscience
Twitter and Instagram @gabedeem

shake19

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Re: You could have done it long ago
« Reply #3 on: March 07, 2014, 03:56:43 PM »
@Androg

I think that the most helpful thing in dealing with cravings is my mind.
I mean that at the moment when I have an urge to search for some sexual impulse (e.g. porn), I realise that it will devastate my self-confidence, my clear way of view etc.
After all my struggling I am sure that even one peek at porn (even soft porn) may cause a damage in my emotions and state of mind [because I am porn-addicted].
So I am tightly staying away from any of these images or videos.
I force myself to not fantasise and I try to keep my mind at all the other stuff that appears in my life.

@Gabe Deem

Thank you for professional explanation of how is brain working.
I may not understand it perfectly as my biology knowledge is poor, but the most important fact for me is that my mind is playing tricks on me.
Realising that it is all about addiction it may be easier for my rational part of brain to win the battle.

lte

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Re: You could have done it long ago
« Reply #4 on: March 08, 2014, 12:04:32 AM »
Nice to meet you Shake.

I was always struck by the contrast between my moral standards and the fantasies of porn. Fourteen months out I am happy to be free of these immoral fantasies.


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shake19

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Re: You could have done it long ago
« Reply #5 on: March 08, 2014, 02:17:07 AM »
Hi LTE.

I've read some part of your journal (by the way - it's daaaamn long  :D) & I see that you could have faced the same moral dilemma as me.
Nevertheless the most important thing is that you passed an impressive way of 434 days.
I wish to have the same record as yours.

Do you feel that the urge to watch some P is really away from you?
Is it like you completely free of this problem as you passed so many days?

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Re: You could have done it long ago
« Reply #6 on: March 08, 2014, 07:48:22 AM »
Hi LTE.

I've read some part of your journal (by the way - it's daaaamn long  :D) & I see that you could have faced the same moral dilemma as me.
Nevertheless the most important thing is that you passed an impressive way of 434 days.
I wish to have the same record as yours.

Do you feel that the urge to watch some P is really away from you?
Is it like you completely free of this problem as you passed so many days?
It's pretty much in the past. Perhaps, more accurately, I've become skilled at rejecting such thought. I think of it in terms of riding a bicycle. When you first ride a bike you make bold corrections in order to keep your balance. As you build skill in riding you make smaller corrections and soon they become undetectable. You are still working to maintain balance, but it becomes second nature and you aren't even aware that you are making corrections.

When the urge to view porn strikes I reject it instantly. I remind myself that porn can't satisfy me and refuse to dwell upon the possibility. Because of this, I never allow the idea to fully develop into an urge. I'm still doing the work, so to speak,,but the response is, for all intents and purposes, automated.


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Remember, porn and masturbation are never the reward. Freedom from porn and masturbation is the reward

Rex

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Re: You could have done it long ago
« Reply #7 on: March 08, 2014, 10:03:31 AM »
ABOUT ME
I am 23 and I have been PMO'ing for about 10 years now and I have never shared this fact with anybody (maybe except the priest - I am Christian) - this is my first time to write about it.
I am regular guy for my age, I do sports, study, work, meet with my friends, spend time with family, party. I had some nice girlfriends too, but even in that time I was PMO'ing.

Since last year I am stubbornly trying to completely reboot myself from this devastating thing.
Unfortunately my longest achievement (completely without PMO) was about 3 weeks and of course my goal is to stay away from PMO for the rest of my life.


PURPOSE OF RELAPSE
After such a long struggle I finally realised what was the purpose for my relapse - it was the trigger.
At some point of my rebooting I permitted myself to watch some porn - and that was always the devastating trigger.
At the moment when I permitted myself to watch some porn, I always thought that I have it under control and nothing can happen to my mind. It is the biggest lie my mind can do to me.
It is not a consciousness that push me to the porn - it is my weakened brain, it is my long-lasting habit, I even call it a devil.


GAIN FROM REBOOT
For all the rebooting periods I felt like I am building my mind again.
I was becoming strong and confident. My decisions were precise and fully conscious.
I was found much more attractive for women.
I smiled a lot and I was becoming a person that I always dreamt to be.
I love that state of mind.


NOWADAYS
I am on my reboot day 2.
I feel that NOW I started my straight way to complete reboot.
I realised that I lost too many days blaming myself for PMO.
I had an oppotunity to break free from PMO for many times, but I always permitted myself to relapse.
NOW I wouldn't do this mistake again and I want to share this with you.


ADVICE
You also can do it!


Shake19,

One of the first things PMO addicts do is to beat ourselves up endlessly after every time we fall.  It's vicious cycle that leads to more PMO.  I have lived this cycle for 30 years.  I want you to look at the bright side of your predicament.  You are 23 years old and you realize that you are an addict and you need help.  Most 23 year old males afflicted with the PMO addiction are in denial, many will be in denial for years.  Or they think they can do it themselves only after trying for 20 years or more and by the time they get to my age of 44, and finally do they realize maybe they can't do it alone.  You have your whole life ahead of you, and the damage you have done to your mind, body, and soul from PMO is less than someone who is lot older.  You can beat PMO, and have a very fruitful rest of your life ahead of you.

I was a daily PMO addict and been heavily addicted to PMO, especially for the last 15 years.  Nothing would stop me, I would even go to confession to a priest and confess my PMO sins with full intent on never doing PMO again.  Only to fall again a day or two later fall again.  I am on day 19 of being clean of PMO, MO, and M.  It hasn't been easy being a guy like me with 30 years of a PMO wired brain, however this is the longest streak I have had clean from porn since 1999.  To answer your question, yes the urges and temptations as you progress in your journey free from PMO, do subside.  The urges for the first week were so very tough to deal with, however I kept fighting and every time I beat them.  I would use the great feeling I would get after beating these urges, as reinforcement to put these thoughts of victory in my head when the urges will hit again.  You then begin to change your line of thinking towards beating PMO and the rewards that come with beating PMO, instead of the instant gratification of PMO. 

Since you mention that you are a Christian, I would recommend praying morning and evening prayers every day.  This has helped me so immensely.  When I started on this journey 19 days ago, when I had the worst temptations and urges that they seemed almost unbeatable, was the day I forgot to pray my morning prayers. Fcjl8 a fellow member here helped me pinpoint that was the source of my problem.  I then said my morning prayers even though it was later in the day, and the urges and temptations subsided.  Since that day fighting the urges and temptations has been easy in comparison.  You can read my journal of 19 days of battle here:

http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/index.php?topic=18508.0 

You can do it, you can beat PMO.  You are doing great!  Just take it one day at a time, stay away from the stimuli and triggers.  In the first 2 weeks I was scared of falling now that I am getting towards the end of week 3, I see all the great positive changes and it has gotten easier and I have great confidence I can continue this journey PMO free.  However I am still vigilant and am very careful to stay away from the triggers and stimuli that have caused me to fall in the past.  Just like a auto mechanic who works on cars all day long who has it planted in the back of his brain to never touch or put his hand anywhere near the fan blades under the hood, we must always have it planted in our heads to stay away from the stimuli and triggers.

Keep up the good work!  You're doing great!

Rex
« Last Edit: March 08, 2014, 10:17:31 AM by Rex »
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lte

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Re: You could have done it long ago
« Reply #8 on: March 08, 2014, 10:09:24 AM »
The past is behind you and unchangeable. The future is ahead of you and unreachable. All you can do is deal with the present and that will build a better future.


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shake19

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Re: You could have done it long ago
« Reply #9 on: March 08, 2014, 10:42:40 AM »
@Rex

Thank you for all encouraging words. It is much easier for me to battle PMO when I know I'm not alone. Glad to hear that "I have whole life ahead of me". :)

It is unbelievable to meet a guy like you, with long-lasting addiction and just at the moment when you beat your record.
It is funny (but on the other side creepy) that it is very easy to find some porn in the Internet, but it is very unusual to meet a guy like you. It's like finding some precious thing in the desert of mud.

19 days is really great work for a guy with 30 years addiction. If you stood clean for 19 days, you can do it for much longer and actually I wish you'll never come back to PMO.
Keep it up Rex and stay strong, just as you've stood for last days.

PS.: Some time ago I tried with prayers but I wasn't consistent and it could be my problem there. I'll try to pray consistently as from now - it wouldn't harm me but just could help me. Do you pray always the same or you e.g. read different fragments of the Bible?

@LTE
I face the present much more confident while I am on such a forum. Thanks for being here.
« Last Edit: March 08, 2014, 10:47:05 AM by shake19 »

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Re: You could have done it long ago
« Reply #10 on: March 08, 2014, 05:12:56 PM »
@Rex

Thank you for all encouraging words. It is much easier for me to battle PMO when I know I'm not alone. Glad to hear that "I have whole life ahead of me". :)

It is unbelievable to meet a guy like you, with long-lasting addiction and just at the moment when you beat your record.
It is funny (but on the other side creepy) that it is very easy to find some porn in the Internet, but it is very unusual to meet a guy like you. It's like finding some precious thing in the desert of mud.

19 days is really great work for a guy with 30 years addiction. If you stood clean for 19 days, you can do it for much longer and actually I wish you'll never come back to PMO.
Keep it up Rex and stay strong, just as you've stood for last days.

PS.: Some time ago I tried with prayers but I wasn't consistent and it could be my problem there. I'll try to pray consistently as from now - it wouldn't harm me but just could help me. Do you pray always the same or you e.g. read different fragments of the Bible?

@LTE
I face the present much more confident while I am on such a forum. Thanks for being here.

shake19,

Many thanks, we're here to help each other.  You have been just as much an inspiration to me, as I have been to you.  You have a great point, porn is so easily accessible but finding people fighting the PMO addiction is rare.  That's why sites like this are so important. 

The inconsistent prayers were my problem in the past.  It is my opinion the battle against PMO is a spiritual one.  And I was always so lazy with my prayers.  In the last 19 days I have gotten more structured.  I haven't been reading scripture like I should.  However when I was on the road back in January for 2 weeks, I went about 5 days free from PMO before falling into PMO, I was praying and I was reading the hotel provided bible in my hotel room at night during the early part of the week.  However by the end of the week I got lazy about praying and stopped reading the bible and easily fell.  By the second week I was back to my old daily PMO habit again. 

The prayers give me extra armor I can feel during the day.  I think if you make sure to take the time to pray in the morning and evening everyday, you'll notice the struggle will get easier.  The temptations and urges won't disappear but you'll find that you are much better equipped to fight and beat them when you say your prayers.  When I first started 19 days ago PMO free I was getting very bad erotic dreams of women while I was asleep, however after three days of that, I started praying a decade of the rosary every night and a St. Michael the Archangel prayer before going to bed and those erotic dreams haven't returned.  I can notice the difference.

Also another thing that will help you is to keep busy, during the 1st week especially there's a tendency to watch the clock, hour by hour.  If you keep yourself busy going out with friends, doing hobbies, playing sports, going to the gym, etc. you'll notice that time will go by faster and you'll have less time to think about PMO.  And when urges hit, even getting out of the house and doing yard work is very helpful.  I had one days when I had rough urges the first week, I went outside did some yard work for a few hours, when I was finished, I felt revived and refreshed.  The idea is to try to keep moving forward and don't move or look back.  You have embarked on a new journey and the farther the distances you go the less likely you are going to fall back into PMO. 

I still get the urges and temptations, but when they hit I can see them for what they are.  I was reading some  news site on the Internet about 30 minutes ago,  and a link on this news site had a paparazzi type article about a good looking female actress, I was tempted to read the article but then I said, "no way", that is going to get me excited and in the past after reading an article like this.  I would then say "gee I wonder if she has any nude pictures or screen caps" on the Internet.  And thus would be the past descent into a PMO fall.  I just said "forget about it".  I also love watching some of the TV shows on HBO, but I can't anymore since the nudity and sex scenes get me all charged up.  When I embarked on this journey to get free from PMO, I have to remove these stimuli and triggers.  It's the only way it's going to work for me.  However the rewards are worth passing on some of things I used to like to watch on TV or at the movies. 

It's a tough battle, and even this afternoon I faced temptations and urges but I am finding them much easier to beat.  The more you beat them the more confidence you obtain and the easier it is to defeat the urges when they hit.
   
« Last Edit: March 08, 2014, 05:20:55 PM by Rex »
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Re: You could have done it long ago
« Reply #11 on: March 09, 2014, 06:18:09 AM »
Just to expand upon Rex's thoughts; I do not watch any broadcast, cable or sat TV. Literally, not one minute of it. The reason is simple, I don't like having my thoughts "paced" by programming. Let me explain.

When you watch a movie on DVD you are in control of the timing. You can hit pause and come back after a minute, an hour, a day or what have you. You are in control of the sequence of events. TV programs are different. You are watching at a set pace which interrupts your concentration to feed advertising down your throat with a funnel. I don't think it's much of an exaggeration to say that broadcast television amounts to a mild state of hypnosis.

I've found that not watching broadcast TV is a wonderful gift to myself, a gift of time, a gift of concentration and a gift in peace of mind. You would be amazed by how inconsequential TV becomes once you spend some time away from it. I literally can no longer be in the same room with broadcast TV. Now I own a lovely Smart TV which sits prominently in my living room. It is used to watch DVDs, Netflix and other sources of entertainment that allow me to be in complete control,of the timing. The effect is entirely different. I go to bed when I feel tired, not when "my show" is over. I maintain control and the TV only gets one thing from me, a few cents worth of electricity per month. (Modern Smart TVs are incredibly energy efficient.


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shake19

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Re: You could have done it long ago
« Reply #12 on: March 09, 2014, 07:30:17 AM »
I totally agree with what you guys just said.
While I am looking at some news on the Internet I also have some temptations to check what kind of woman celebrity they promote, especially those "exciting" ones with kind of nudity etc. But after all my struggling with porn-addiction I am sure that it would lead me to want more, to seek for some more nudity and so on - I don't have to dwell on it as I guess all you guys know this stuff. The best way is just to stay calm and not let your brain to focus on such images.

Coming to the TV, I am just the same as you, LTE. I have a nice TV set but I totally cut off the connection to the television. I use it only for DVD and my PC.
I don't know how it works in your country, but in Poland television is not only kind of hypnotizing [as you said] but it also promotes all the morally bad things, like: teenage pregnancy is good, masturbation is healthy, having a lot of lovers is what we all seek for and generally concentrate on sex, divorcing, changing partners and "party hard". It all makes me sick. It's much better for our mind to stay away from this swamp.

To continue my journal, I have to mention that the most difficult time to stay away from PMO is the weekend for me. I work from Mon to Fri, so while I am busy and among other people my mind stays more or less clean and out of cravings. But on the weekend I am trying to study (I am on my last, Masters semester) and I have to sit in front of computer, all alone. Such a circusmstance usually led me straight to watch some P and to be unconstructive as a result. While I can't just go outside [because I have to do some study on computer] I have to battle it somehow. For last few months I unfortunately always lost the weekends on P, but since this week, since I shared my story on this forum I stayed clean and it wasn't even so difficult.

So again, this forum makes me strong in the battle and I wish to all of you to have the same feeling. Whenever you alone and having some temptations just come here, share your story, read stories of others, encourage people to win the battle and make yourself a winner.

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Re: You could have done it long ago
« Reply #13 on: March 09, 2014, 08:50:02 AM »
It's the same way here, TV is a cesspool of moral depravity and lousy role models.

Congratulations on staying away from porn over the weekend, it will get easier as more time passes.


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Re: You could have done it long ago
« Reply #14 on: March 09, 2014, 03:21:25 PM »
I totally agree with what you guys just said.
While I am looking at some news on the Internet I also have some temptations to check what kind of woman celebrity they promote, especially those "exciting" ones with kind of nudity etc. But after all my struggling with porn-addiction I am sure that it would lead me to want more, to seek for some more nudity and so on - I don't have to dwell on it as I guess all you guys know this stuff. The best way is just to stay calm and not let your brain to focus on such images.

Coming to the TV, I am just the same as you, LTE. I have a nice TV set but I totally cut off the connection to the television. I use it only for DVD and my PC.
I don't know how it works in your country, but in Poland television is not only kind of hypnotizing [as you said] but it also promotes all the morally bad things, like: teenage pregnancy is good, masturbation is healthy, having a lot of lovers is what we all seek for and generally concentrate on sex, divorcing, changing partners and "party hard". It all makes me sick. It's much better for our mind to stay away from this swamp.

To continue my journal, I have to mention that the most difficult time to stay away from PMO is the weekend for me. I work from Mon to Fri, so while I am busy and among other people my mind stays more or less clean and out of cravings. But on the weekend I am trying to study (I am on my last, Masters semester) and I have to sit in front of computer, all alone. Such a circusmstance usually led me straight to watch some P and to be unconstructive as a result. While I can't just go outside [because I have to do some study on computer] I have to battle it somehow. For last few months I unfortunately always lost the weekends on P, but since this week, since I shared my story on this forum I stayed clean and it wasn't even so difficult.

So again, this forum makes me strong in the battle and I wish to all of you to have the same feeling. Whenever you alone and having some temptations just come here, share your story, read stories of others, encourage people to win the battle and make yourself a winner.

shake19,

You'll find that reading other's journals and posting on this forum board and other boards like this will help you immensely in this struggle.  The more you make this a hobby by posting and helping others the more your mind is off PMO.  Weekends are also tough for me.  Try to keep yourself busy especially on the weekends.  If you feel the urges hit go take a walk, play some sports, hang out with friends, or do anything that gets your mind off PMO.  And make a list on a piece of paper the things that you can do to get out of the house when the urges hit.  This way you'll have a game plan already written down.

Good luck you are doing great!
« Last Edit: March 09, 2014, 03:23:11 PM by Rex »
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Re: You could have done it long ago
« Reply #15 on: March 09, 2014, 05:42:32 PM »
Great advice, Rex.


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Re: You could have done it long ago
« Reply #16 on: March 11, 2014, 01:53:50 PM »
Rex, thanks for advices.

Unfortunately [as I wrote before] I cannot just go outside or do any activities out of the house because I must write my master's thesis while it is a weekend.
When I feel urges for P [and I cannot go outside] I usually find something which is not time-consuming and which can lead me to free my mind from urges, e.g. I do sit-ups, eat, clean my flat, search for some tunes etc. By the way, since I fight PMO my flat is always completely clean. :)

So it is my 6th day totally clean (no P/M/O) and I feel just great.
I feel fascinated with life. I am kind of proud that I can do it!
It seems that because of leaving an addiction I save a lot of time and I have a lots of energy.
I guess it's too early to talk about some big mental changes but being out of P/M/O is literally building me up.

Big thank you to all y'all for kind welcome and keeping me motivated!

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Re: You could have done it long ago
« Reply #17 on: March 11, 2014, 03:08:09 PM »
Seems like you are making some solid progress in your recovery. I imagine that this will help your creativity in writing your Masters thesis...

I agree, cleaning the house, washing dishes, cleaning toilets that actually feels good now. I used to be too lethargic and only clean these things when my wife nagged me. That was the old PMO me!

Sit-ups are great therapy and push-ups , if you can get some cardio exercise in when finished your thesis that will really help your mood!

You are great!

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Re: You could have done it long ago
« Reply #18 on: March 14, 2014, 07:52:26 AM »
Here I am on my 8th day of total reboot.

Now I know that it is not straight, linear and one-way path. At least at those first days it is not like that every next day I have smaller urges. I do have my ups & downs and actually I have bigger cravings now than a few days ago. I guess it is connected to my general state of mind as I am kind of depressed for last few days.

As I am 23 yo, being addicted for more than 10 years and mostly I watched high-speed Internet porn [which I guess is more harmful than magazines from e.g. 80's] it is natural that for total reboot I need weeks or even months. The point is to stay strong through my downs and be patient to achieve my goal of breaking free from addiction forever.

So you should know that I didn't break down and move firmly towards better days.
« Last Edit: March 14, 2014, 07:56:56 AM by shake19 »

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Re: You could have done it long ago
« Reply #19 on: March 14, 2014, 04:27:12 PM »
A day at a time.


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shake19

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Re: You could have done it long ago
« Reply #20 on: March 16, 2014, 08:12:42 AM »
Hi! I am passing my 11th day of total reboot and this is the second weekend of my journey [weekend is always the worst time to withstand without watching porn].

Despite the fact that I still have hard cravings and sometimes my brain pushes me to intentionally e.g. watch some news where attractive woman are shown, I haven't watched any nudity.

My battle with addiction has one basic rule: do not watch anything which could arouse you! It includes music videos with [almost naked] chicks, news where are arousing images of woman and all other stuff that is very popular nowadays and is everywhere. I just skip such images / videos and try not to focus on anything arousing.

I am councious about my addiction and I know that even a small peek at half-naked woman will burn up my mind. There is a great illustration of how my brain reaction differ from healthy person (attachment). I think that after some period of total reboot (e.g. 6 months) my brain wouldn't react like it does now.

What changes do I see as for day 11th?
I concentrate easier, I look at people's eyes when I talk to them, I am strong-willed and I feel more brave, e.g. when I was with porn everyday I was very afraid of my future, I thought that I would never become a man and now I feel like I can do something big in my life, my mind is becoming stronger everyday and it's much easier to actually live my life.

I am working at feeling comfortable with myself. In the past, whenever I felt bad I just PMO'd and I felt [seemingly] better. Now it's time to face reality without PMO and whenever I feel bad I have to withstand such time with my head up and being sober - it is how reboot works.
« Last Edit: March 16, 2014, 08:15:39 AM by shake19 »

lte

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Re: You could have done it long ago
« Reply #21 on: March 16, 2014, 08:22:10 AM »
You have a very good way of looking at this. Stay away from anything that arouses you. In time, you will find that old triggers dissipate and life gets a lot easier.


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shake19

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Re: You could have done it long ago
« Reply #22 on: March 19, 2014, 01:28:27 PM »
14th day totally clean done!

While workdays it is easy for me - I am busy from the morning til evening or even til night, so there's no time to fantasise.

After 2 weeks totally clean (no nudity, no M, no O, little fantasies) I feel superb! BTW I do not drink alcohol nor smoke weed for last 14 days (Lent).
Finally I have strength to deal with problems that bothered me in the past. In the past whenever the problems emerged I ran away to P / M / alcohol / weed (generally addictions).
Now I face all the problems completely sober (most important clean from PMO) and I deal with them perfectly! Finally I made some major changes in my life that had been waiting to be done for months.

I am very grateful to all y'all for the great support - not only in my topic, but in all the topics that I've read and that gave me additional strength to fight the addiction.

I wish you all the best and hope that all members of this forum are going to break free from PMO!

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Re: You could have done it long ago
« Reply #23 on: March 19, 2014, 02:54:02 PM »
Good going, mate!


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Re: You could have done it long ago
« Reply #24 on: March 20, 2014, 08:13:07 AM »
Congratulations on 2 weeks brother, keep going!