Author Topic: Journey to a better me  (Read 70251 times)

Jake323

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Re: Journey to a better me
« Reply #300 on: December 06, 2017, 10:42:31 AM »
12/6/17

Well I slept better last night and woke up feeling energized, but now I'm tired again, not sure if it's work or what, but not does it totally drain my energy.

Jake323

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Re: Journey to a better me
« Reply #301 on: December 07, 2017, 10:43:46 AM »
12/7/17

Had a busy day yesterday, but I'm glad it's over because I'm done with school for a month now.

Jake323

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Re: Journey to a better me
« Reply #302 on: December 08, 2017, 04:00:39 PM »
12/8/17

Had a pretty good day yesterday, I'm now done with work and school for a while, so it's time to chill.

Jake323

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Re: Journey to a better me
« Reply #303 on: December 09, 2017, 12:56:55 PM »
12/9/17

Had kind of a shitty day yesterday, had some strong urges to PMO and caught myself rationalizing it in my mind. This happened because I saw this thumbnail of a YouTube video and I started to look at other video thumbnails, but I eventually stopped myself and caught it before it escalated. I guess I'm just kind of discouraged because some days it doesn't seem like I'm making hardly any progress at all and that can be tough to deal with.

elephantricity

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Re: Journey to a better me
« Reply #304 on: December 09, 2017, 08:26:54 PM »
Just remember man, for every bad day, there will be so many more good days. Hold fast.

Jake323

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Re: Journey to a better me
« Reply #305 on: December 10, 2017, 12:03:25 PM »
Definitely!

12/10/17

Yesterday was a pretty good day, staying present and getting sleep definitely gives me more energy during the day which is nice.

Jake323

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Re: Journey to a better me
« Reply #306 on: December 11, 2017, 10:41:07 AM »
12/11/17

Had a good day yesterday, not much happened though.

Jake323

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Re: Journey to a better me
« Reply #307 on: December 12, 2017, 10:42:37 AM »
12/12/17

Work has been very stressful lately, I keep getting yelled at by angry customers. It's not too fun.

Jake323

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Re: Journey to a better me
« Reply #308 on: December 13, 2017, 12:20:20 PM »
12/13/17

Sometimes I feel as if a lot of things people say just aren't true. There is a lot of misinformation and BS out there and most people just seem to gobble it up and not even think twice about it. People will shame you and label things as "good" or "bad" when in reality, the world is a lot more complicated than that. For example, in today's society, when approaching women as a man, you can be called a "creeper" or a "rapist" for simply even looking at her or putting your arm around her or hugging her on a first date. I'm not saying this to complain, but to simply point out the fact that when men are the ones expected to take the active role in dating and break the ice, sometimes they may do things that one women might not want and another women may want because every girl is different. I'm realizing now that for so many years, I think the problem is that I was ashamed and insecure of my masculinity, but I'm finally starting to embrace it and realize that giving women what they want, a confident, assertive man is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. That if women want it and it is consensual, then nothing is wrong with having sex with women. Anyways, yesterday was a pretty good day, I got a lot of things accomplished.

summercicada90

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Re: Journey to a better me
« Reply #309 on: December 13, 2017, 07:27:46 PM »
I know exactly what you're talking about, and I've been realizing the exact same thing. I was talking to a couple of women over some beers about my lack of successful experience with sex, and about porn, and one of the women was saying, "Yeah, don't take cues from porn and start doing XYZ." But then the other woman was like, "What are you talking about? Men do that to me all the time and I love it!"

I've met guys that have the opposite taste as me in types of sexual play, and quite different taste in women than me to boot. So it only makes sense that every woman is going to have differing tastes in both as well, and also in the pace they're comfortable with as far as getting intimate with a man.

Good luck to both of us on finding the right woman!
Age 27. Current streak started on 12/10/2017. Started reboot on 8/8/2017 JST
Porn snipped the fuse to my fireworks. No more PMO.
"We barely remember who or what came before this precious moment. We are choosing to be here, right now; hold on, stay inside this holy reality, this holy experience."

Jake323

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Re: Journey to a better me
« Reply #310 on: December 14, 2017, 01:20:40 PM »
Yeah I know, and it's hard when we live in a society that shames people for expressing their sexuality, I've just got to get past the bullshit and realize nobody really thinks about me at the end of the day, and that I'm just another person in the world and do what I want to do, not what other people want or care what others think, easier said than done though, however.

12/14/17

Had a pretty good day yesterday, I love not having to drive to school now that I'm done, I love meditating in my house too or in nature, it's so peaceful, I straight up need to get some Buddha statues and some incense and set up a meditation area lol.

Jake323

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Re: Journey to a better me
« Reply #311 on: December 15, 2017, 10:39:55 AM »
12/15/17

Didn't have the best day yesterday, went out to approach some girls but my mind kept coming up with excuses not to do it and I bought into my thoughts, I'm going to try again today, hopefully it goes better because it gets boring to never get laid lol.

Jake323

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Re: Journey to a better me
« Reply #312 on: December 16, 2017, 07:19:16 AM »
12/16/17

Had a pretty good day today, however, work is getting kinda tiring and stressful.

Jake323

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Re: Journey to a better me
« Reply #313 on: December 17, 2017, 02:06:33 PM »
12/17/17

Can't believe the year is almost over, pretty crazy it will be done in a couple of weeks, at least I get some time off of school before then. That's always nice, I'm going to go ask out some more girls this week, hopefully I can have some success soon.

Jack Can

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Re: Journey to a better me
« Reply #314 on: December 17, 2017, 03:50:54 PM »
Are you trying to get a girlfriend asking all these girls out or are you just trying to hook up with them?

Jake323

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Re: Journey to a better me
« Reply #315 on: December 18, 2017, 10:41:22 AM »
I don't really know, I will decide once I actually make something happen, but until then, I would say it's tough for me to say what I really want, since I have so little experience

12/18/17

Had a decent day yesterday, hopefully today is better though.

Jake323

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Re: Journey to a better me
« Reply #316 on: December 19, 2017, 10:42:26 AM »
12/19/17

I stayed in the moment a lot more yesterday, and I definitely felt a lot more at peace and stillness within me, also, I got a girl's number! I'll text her tomorrow to set up a date time.

Jake323

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Re: Journey to a better me
« Reply #317 on: December 20, 2017, 10:39:55 AM »
12/20/17

I've been so tired this week, I've got really good sleep but I still feel totally mentally drained. I guess job boredom is getting to me, it can be stressful too which isn't too fun.

Jake323

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Re: Journey to a better me
« Reply #318 on: December 21, 2017, 12:50:57 PM »
12/21/17

Boy oh boy am I engaging in a lot of mental masturbation lately. I'm sitting back and watching the world in confusion and shock. I'm truly starting to realize how much stupid shit we worry about on a daily basis really doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things. I'm so tired of this social media age. Everybody hates the present moment, I'm by no means perfect at it, but holy hell, people just keep sucking up all the bullshit, like little flies that keep landing on shit and keep sucking it up through their little shit-straws, the new car, more followers on social media, a hot new partner, more sex, more money, more, more, more. I can't even bear to go on social media anymore, it's just the same superficial garbage over and over again. Look! These people who you truly don't give a shit about got married today, and here's all their edited honeymoon pics! Some spoiled brat got a new car! Some whore wants an ego boost by getting hundreds of likes on all her selfies taken by a bathroom mirror. Or the endless political diarrhea on Twitter of people with two different mental positions constantly arguing about stupid bullshit which most people are misinformed about anyways. It's pointless and insane which is why I don't really want to be a part of it. Anyways, enough of that rant, time to focus on the things that really matter.

Jake323

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Re: Journey to a better me
« Reply #319 on: December 22, 2017, 10:36:55 AM »
12/22/17

Today's been alright so far, gonna hang out with some friends tonight, I guess we'll see how that goes. And the days are officially going to get a bit longer each day, which is nice. It's not even Christmas and I'm already sick of the roads and snow.

Jake323

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Re: Journey to a better me
« Reply #320 on: December 23, 2017, 01:02:54 PM »
12/23/17

Well yesterday went ok, hung out with some friends and had a pretty good time. I'm feeling very lonely though. That girl whose number I got didn't text me back and the rejections are piling up now. I know the point isn't to get the outcome I want, it's to desensitize myself to rejection, but it gets discouraging when you put so much effort into it.

Jake323

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Re: Journey to a better me
« Reply #321 on: December 24, 2017, 01:52:30 PM »
12/24/17

Had a productive day yesterday, went to the gym and had a good session, got my house all cleaned up, and got some other things done.

Jake323

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Re: Journey to a better me
« Reply #322 on: December 25, 2017, 12:51:01 PM »
12/25/17

I honestly didn't have a very good Christmas Eve, hopefully today is better, but I'm not too happy right now. I still don't have much of a love or social life, and it seems pretty much impossible these days to have a social life and achieve whatever life goals you set for yourself. I feel very much influenced to be like everyone else, every time I use social media of any kind, I just feel empty and worthless and not good enough, yet somehow I can't escape this cycle of going back to it because pretty much everyone these days is so caught up in it, it's like to fit in, I have to be constantly talking, complaining, giving my opinion on things, and being as "out there" as possible, it's like there can never be a moment of silence if I really want to fit in with the world, I constantly have to be loud, assertive, and as dominant as possible yet I'm a very interpreted person. Even with getting girls it's fucking depressing because they naturally want the most dominant,assertive men and yet I am introverted and still struggle with social anxiety to a degree, it's like no matter what I do, I'll never be good enough, I really try to put myself out there and face my biggest fears but even that isn't enough, I'm just never really talkative or social enough no matter what and I'm honestly sick and damned tired of it.

Jake323

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Re: Journey to a better me
« Reply #323 on: December 26, 2017, 10:36:55 AM »
12/26/17

Christmas day was better than Christmas Eve, it started off difficult, but after a while, I was able to come back to the present moment and become more conscious.

Jake323

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Re: Journey to a better me
« Reply #324 on: December 27, 2017, 10:44:09 AM »
12/27/17

Staying present yesterday definitely helped my day flow with lightness and ease instead of constantly trying to get somewhere other than where I am, and that also helped me to lower my stress and anxiety while at work.