Author Topic: Really need some help - very worried  (Read 923 times)

dolphman74

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Really need some help - very worried
« on: February 28, 2017, 04:55:24 PM »
Hey guys,

I'm 42 years old. I've watched porn since I was 10. I was sexually abused as a child and also grew up in a very abusive household. For most of my life despite these issues, I've been able to meet and form relationships that have lasted for a bit, but most have eventually failed due to the porn use and sexual promiscuity it often led to.

Over the last year I've been trying to "date" and have run into ED issues. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Very inconsistent. I've actually had this issue my whole life with new partners, but suddenly, it's far worse. Even girls I've "gotten used to" it seems to keep failing.

So I decided to make some real changes around December. I had been masturbating to porn quite regularly and stopped completely. So I guess about 2 months now I have not PMO. I don't even masturbate. I need to fix this issue.

The problem is I met a girl recently I actually really, really like. And of course, she wants to have sex fairly often. I'm at a point where I feel almost NOTHING in my groin area at all, despite how beautiful she is and how much I like her.

I've heard of the dreaded flatline and suspect that maybe the case. I also took propecia for a bit (about a month, quit about 3 weeks ago) and have only one testicle due to testicular cancer. Combine that with my history of abuse, I'm really unsure exactly what in the hell is all going on, and if this is all just an uphill battle I may never win.

I'm really hoping that most of my issue is simply PIED, that I will eventually come out of this "flatline" and start experiencing morning wood and hard ons more frequently. I was able to PIV with this new girl several times but now...it seems to be getting worse. Maybe it's intimacy issues combined with dopamine deficiency, low T...who knows.

Anybody got any ideas or words of wisdom? I really don't want to lose the girl. She's been super sweet, but I know she's disappointed. None of my other skills work on her at all, she loves PIV and pretty much only wants that.

What's weird is a year ago I met a girl like her and had NO ISSUES getting it up, even though I was PMO daily. I have a feeling when I quit PMO, I short-circuited whatever hyper-sexuality I had going and now, nothing. That and the propecia might've fucked things up for good. Hope not.

arturo518

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Re: Really need some help - very worried
« Reply #1 on: February 28, 2017, 06:15:26 PM »
If you haven't opened up to her about it you might have to otherwise she will just think your losing interest in her. It might be the best thing to just be honest with her.

dolphman74

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Re: Really need some help - very worried
« Reply #2 on: February 28, 2017, 06:56:02 PM »
I have luckily. I hope she'll put up with it.

I just wish I knew if I was flatlining of if what I'm experiencing is a deeper psycho-emotional disorder that's causing the ED.

arturo518

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Re: Really need some help - very worried
« Reply #3 on: March 01, 2017, 06:39:27 PM »
I wonder about myself a lot because it's been a long time for me being in a relationship. I broke up with a very important person about 8 years ago and at he same time quit drinking and I haven't felt like finding anyone new since. During that time my porn addiction became a substitute for reality. I don't know how I will react in a relationship anymore. Every girl I ever met I met while drunk so I have no real dating skills or anything. I'm basically 8 years old when it comes to women. I've noticed a drastic change in my feelings about myself though from giving up porn. I feel better about being me. I think it will take a while for my psyche to settle down from this. Hopefully it will for you as well. You might just need some time. If you have a good women who will stand by you your a lucky man.

papa

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Re: Really need some help - very worried
« Reply #4 on: March 02, 2017, 01:23:10 PM »
Dolphman  I think it is wise to tell her about your situation and about this website. There are areas for her here to explore as well from what I've heard and that might help her understand your situation better.  Also I don't see any harm in talking to your doctor about it as well, maybe they can do some simple blood work to see if your testosterone is low