Author Topic: Porn addiction and sex addiction  (Read 790 times)

Emerald Blue

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Porn addiction and sex addiction
« on: February 01, 2017, 12:33:46 PM »
I believe that porn addiction is at one end of the spectrum of behaviours which could be described as "sex addiction" behaviours. I don't believe that all porn addicts are a sex addicts though. I do actually believe that porn addiction can bring to the fore and underlying vulnerability to sex addiction, and I also believe that internet pornography can be the very first stage of sex addiction behavior.

Some people start to cross their own boundaries after using internet pornography for many years. Something triggers them. It may well be the mess they have created in their own relationship or other difficulties in their life. People are exposed to ads for webcam sex, and clicking around online searching for something new or different can end up with someone viewing escort sites, looking up strip club venues, dating and hookup apps, etc. I'm not saying that these things just appear on the computer screen innocently by themselves. There is a certain amount of deliberation involved. But something can, in some cases, trip switch to seek the new thrill.

My partner claims not to have done anything more than just porn, despite a previous history of visiting strip bars. Although I accept this, I accept it on the balance of probability and not as an absolute statement of truth. For now, he has the benefit of the doubt, and that is the best I can do. So I'm not specifically talking about personal experience here but what I have learned from delving into the topic of porn addiction and inevitably sex addiction as there is s certain degree of overlap.

We know that even on this forum some men have crossed the line from porn addiction into other ways of acting out. Statistically speaking, some partners will be living with porn addict who had gone beyond porn. The question I used to ask myself during my partner's porn addiction was what would happen when he grew bored with "just" porn? It was very true that porn eventually made him unhappy. It was true that we had lost our emotional intimacy as a consequence of his porn habit and that had created a distance between us. He had successfully concealed his strip bar visits from me in the past, so he knew that the chances of being found out acting out elsewhere were remote. By the time his porn addiction was creating unhappiness for him, I sensed an escalating distance between us. So I would say that he was more vulnerable to looking for "something else". I'm not saying he DID anything else. Just that there are stages in porn addiction. Porn addiction escalates. Sometimes into extreme genres – and he didn't like extreme genres, I know that – but it can also escalate into a new outlet, and that can be further along the continuum of sex addiction.

I'm just throwing this one out as something to think about. I'm definitely NOT saying all porn addicts are sex addicts, nor do I want to scare anyone into suspecting their partner has a full blown sex addiction. It has to be said however that technology does make it easier than ever to cross those boundaries that in the past one may never consider.
« Last Edit: February 01, 2017, 12:35:30 PM by Emerald Blue »
His porn addiction: you didn't cause it - you can't control it - you can't cure it