Author Topic: See them grow up  (Read 22841 times)

workinprogressUK

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    I get knocked down but i get up again
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Re: See them grow up
« Reply #275 on: September 29, 2019, 02:49:06 PM »
how nice to be aggravated and annoyed, and over-taxed by social situations, and yet despite all that not be running into porn's embrace.

Ironic to log-on and read that, idunno. It's appropriate and reading it again gives me much-needed strength. I'm triggered too, tonight. Have been triggering all afternoon. Chimp's cajoling, rather than screaming, that "there's no harm in a quick look".... "just look at some soft stuff". Kind of minimising the implications. An i have to admit that there's nothing i'd love more right now than to give in. But I haven't. I've been tempted to drop out on any number of occasions today, but I've toughed it out. Nothing graceful or sophisticated in the approach. I guess I've just white-knuckled it and been bloody-minded in refusing  >:( ;D. So.... logging off and heading to bed now, feeling fairly proud of myself. I've really struggled not to fall, so I'm proud to finish the day still standing. These are the days that matter; when it hurts and I have to cause myself discomfort and anxiety and fight my own feelings. Feels rewarding to have made it through. Wishing you all success in your own recovery today/tonight.

Lero

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Re: See them grow up
« Reply #276 on: September 30, 2019, 04:39:19 AM »
Good stuff, man. What you described there is not foreign to me. During my longest streak I craved dopamine like crazy. I told myself: "No, I don't want to give up. I want to keep going" but my body didn't understand that. All I could feel all over me was: "Let's PMO and feel great!" But, we must not forget how we feel after a relapse. Maybe it would even be a good idea to visualize it, try to transport us to a relapse and see if we like it. I'm sure we don't. This recovery is suffering, no doubt, but it's not an endless suffering, it ends one day. And then we can look back and say: "See, it was a great choice not to give up cause now it's over." Relapsing gets us back to that cycle where we never reach the day when we are done with it. So good choice to keep going. Fuck that voice. It's the addicted brain. "It's not me, it's the addiction." It's not us who want P, it's the brain.

BigMog

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Re: See them grow up
« Reply #277 on: September 30, 2019, 09:15:07 AM »
Well done, WiP. Stick with it. Yep, I’ve frequently heard the cajoling chimp. I think we’re stuck with him for a while but we don’t have to do what he wants!
Stay strong!

jixu

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Re: See them grow up
« Reply #278 on: November 02, 2019, 11:45:48 AM »
Hi WIP!  Hope you are doing okay.  If you get a chance hope you can give an update, rain or shine-miss having you around !  Take care