Author Topic: Terrible Suffering And Great Victory  (Read 3798 times)

workinprogressUK

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Re: Terrible Suffering And Great Victory
« Reply #50 on: May 14, 2019, 08:14:59 AM »
1) The fall begins as soon as you begin to rationalize in your brain the fall to PMO.  This can be a day or week, or even months before the fall.  Don't ever rationalize a fall to PMO since once you have agreed to it in your thoughts, the fall will soon arrive.  And if you have already rationalized the fall in your thoughts but haven't fallen yet, change your thoughts right now and say "no way, it's not going to happen" and reverse the thought process. 


That's some of the best advice I've read in ages, Rex. Thanks for sharing. Congrats on your continuing success.

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Re: Terrible Suffering And Great Victory
« Reply #51 on: May 28, 2019, 09:25:57 AM »
1) The fall begins as soon as you begin to rationalize in your brain the fall to PMO.  This can be a day or week, or even months before the fall.  Don't ever rationalize a fall to PMO since once you have agreed to it in your thoughts, the fall will soon arrive.  And if you have already rationalized the fall in your thoughts but haven't fallen yet, change your thoughts right now and say "no way, it's not going to happen" and reverse the thought process. 


That's some of the best advice I've read in ages, Rex. Thanks for sharing. Congrats on your continuing success.

workinprogressUK,

Thanks for the encouragement and kind words!


Day 246 (8 months, 4 days):

Reboot Update: Just in case you were wondering, I don't count the days or even the weeks or months anymore, haven't in a few months.  The new norm is staying clean and on most days I don't even think about how long it has been since I started the reboot to my new life.  Before I post here, I use the handy Days Calculator at timeanddate.com to figure out how long I have been clean and free from PMO.  I am suffering through a lot stuff right now, but its such a big weight off my shoulders and my soul that I no longer am burdened with a PMO addiction.  It's been a lot of work with remaining vigilant and continuing with the daily prayer life.  This reboot I put in God's hands and I achieved success beyond my wildest dreams.  My best past reboot was back in 2017 when I went 28 days, that seemed like I climbed the mountain.  Where I am today at day number 246, is like going to Mars, all possible only through God's grace.

Health Update:  Just like I struggled for years to beat a PMO addiction that I thought was unbeatable, by turning to God it's now a thing of the past, ancient history.  My battle strategy with my terrible Lyme disease and its coinfections is the same, I am putting this battle in God's hands.  I have had this disease for at least the last 10 years and the suffering especially the last year have for many days become so unbearable, I am placing this battle in God's hands.  Even though I have been undergoing treatment the last 7 months with nothing seeming to work (tried so many different treatments and strategies), I feel like I am on a carousel that keeps going around in circles or trapped in a park where I keep going around in circles and none of the paths lead out of the park.  On days when I feel I am finally making progress a few days later I go back 8 months back to ground zero and can't even function with symptoms so bad I encounter suffering so bad it brings me to my knees along with feelings of utter hopelessness.  However no matter how bad those days are God is always there to get me through them. I am 100% confident that God will deliver me from this illness the same way he has freed me from my PMO addiction.


Thoughts of the day:

1) Don't let the temptations or urges scare you, fear is one of the big factors in a fall to PMO.  Do not pay any attention to these temptations or urges just like you ignore a fool who bothers you with nonsense.  Laugh when those temptations seem so hard to resist, this always seems to lessen their sting. 

2) Don't ponder, dwell, or even give any thought concerning the temptations when they hit.  Part of the trickery of the temptations is to get your mind dwelling, pondering, or thinking about them.  When they hit immediately change your thoughts to something else.  For instance think about a hobby like baseball and start thinking or remembering which hitters had the best batting averages, which pitchers had the best ERAs, or what teams went to the World Series the most times.  Or if your hobby is horticulture start thinking about different plants and flowers and where they originated.  Every time the temptations hit you move your thoughts elsewhere, then these temptations can't plant any seeds in your subconscious.

3) Never give up, keep trying.  When you fall get right back on the wagon, don't fall into the PMO marathon that usually follows a fall after a reboot.  Those PMO marathons can last weeks, months, even years before you're able to get back on the wagon for another reboot.  For instance I fell in late-January 2017 after a 28 day reboot, instead of getting back on the wagon I fell into a PMO marathon that lasted until September 2018 when I finally got back on the wagon.  I should have gotten right back on the wagon in late-January 2017. 

4) Just like with any successful 12-step program, the centerpiece is turning to God to help you beat the addiction, it's imperative to put your battle with PMO in God's hands.  He will get this terrible addiction off your back and give you a life you never thought possible.  This is a spiritual battle for your soul.  The chains of the PMO addiction are heavy and strong, but can't stand up to the mighty power of God.

« Last Edit: May 28, 2019, 09:39:07 AM by Rex »
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MosesY

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Re: Terrible Suffering And Great Victory
« Reply #52 on: May 28, 2019, 10:42:20 AM »
You quoted Isaiah 41:10 at some point, I was reading through your journal. That was a real encouragement to me. I found this quote from Oswald Chambers the other day; "There are times when God cannot reveal Himself in any other way than in His majesty, and it is the awesomeness of the vision which brings you to the delight of despair. You experience this joy in hopelessness, realizing that if you are ever to be raised up it must be by the hand of God." I printed these passages and hung them on my desk.

BigMog

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Re: Terrible Suffering And Great Victory
« Reply #53 on: May 31, 2019, 03:27:17 PM »
Hi Rex, Thanks for posting. It's always encouraging to see your progress and read your thoughts. Cheers, BigMog.

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Re: Terrible Suffering And Great Victory
« Reply #54 on: July 10, 2019, 09:26:12 AM »
BigMog and MosesY,

Thanks for the words of encouragement!  MosesY, thank you for posting the Oswald Chambers quote it is so very true, very profound words there.  I am going to print it these words and put them on my desk too.


Day 289 (9 months, 16 days):

Reboot Update: Sorry for taking so long to post an update, I have continued to remain vigilant and continued the prayer life and I am now about 9 1/2 months clean.  For those going through the tough journey early in the reboot process, I can give you reassurance that it will get easier, much easier the longer you stick with it.  The last two months were the easiest on the reboot. Staying clean almost becomes second nature.  When the temptations hit my first response is to change my thoughts immediately and move on.  Its now my preferred notion to want to stay clean and let nothing get in the way of that.

Health Update: It's been a wild roller coaster ride with many ups and downs but overall I am seeing some improvements and moving in the right direction in my battle with Lyme disease.  Just like my battle to beat PMO, I am placing this healing in God's hands and continuing to move forward.


Thoughts of the day:

1) Don't focus too much on the upcoming weeks, months, or years when on the reboot process.  Just take one day at a time.  The days will then turn into weeks and then months and then years free from PMO. 

2) When the urges hit keep focusing instead on how much better you will feel after you beat the temptation since the urges and temptations will pass.

3) PMO is a selfish addiction where our life is centered around our pleasure and fulfillment of carnal desires.  One way to break the addiction is to do things for others, stop thinking about yourself and help others.  It doesn't have to be anything big, even small things we can do for others helps to break this addiction.   
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Rex

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Re: Terrible Suffering And Great Victory
« Reply #55 on: August 01, 2019, 04:02:31 PM »
Day 311 (10 months, 8 days):

Reboot Update: I am still remaining vigilant and have continued the prayer life and placing my reboot in God's hands.  I certainly would not be here over 10 months free from PMO if it wasn't for God's help and assistance.  The Rosary has been my sword slashing this addiction, I have been praying 3 Rosaries a day.

Health Update: Been one wild roller coaster ride, but I am slowly getting better and feeling better.  Indeed God is healing me.  Today I am just one step further into my new life.  No matter how bad a day I have healthwise, the chains of my former PMO addiction have been broken, so I am a free man.

Thoughts of the day:

1) We can't win this battle alone.  No matter how hard I tried in the past (for the thirty years I tried to quit), I kept falling back into PMO.  It was only when I decided last year to put this battle into God's hands that I finally was able to start on the path for real victory.  The centerpiece of all 12 step recovery programs is that victory over the addiction requires the assistance of God.

2) The Rosary is the most powerful weapon we have against the addiction of PMO and any other sin and vice.  It's a vice breaker.  Praying 3 Rosaries a day broke the chains of the addiction for me.  During the reboot process if I faltered in saying 3 Rosaries a day and didn't pray any Rosaries I could feel myself slipping where the urges were getting stronger and stronger. When I prayed 3 Rosaries a day the urges got weaker and weaker and it was like I was on auto pilot and not hard to stay on the straight and narrow.   

The Rosary as a Spiritual Weapon:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y1MdrO__5-g

For the full video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dwVdYXyxln0







 
« Last Edit: August 01, 2019, 04:06:59 PM by Rex »
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hope2reboot

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Re: Terrible Suffering And Great Victory
« Reply #56 on: August 06, 2019, 09:24:22 PM »
Congrats Rex, keep doing what you’re doing. So cool about the rosary. I’m not Catholic but definitely believe in the power of prayer, which in my opinion is pretty much what the rosary is. My fiancé is Catholic and I’m Protestant. We’re both very practising of what our Christian beliefs are and respect each other’s belief where we differ. It’s like her uncle said, who is also Catholic, “Jesus is what matters”. Anyways, thanks for writing your journal. Reading other people’s journals is definitely helping me in this battle. I’ve noticed this new drug is not a respecter of persons. So many of us probably disagree on a lot of stuff but I think we all agree that this new drug is not good for us.

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Re: Terrible Suffering And Great Victory
« Reply #57 on: September 27, 2019, 12:21:34 PM »
Congrats Rex, keep doing what you’re doing. So cool about the rosary. I’m not Catholic but definitely believe in the power of prayer, which in my opinion is pretty much what the rosary is. My fiancé is Catholic and I’m Protestant. We’re both very practising of what our Christian beliefs are and respect each other’s belief where we differ. It’s like her uncle said, who is also Catholic, “Jesus is what matters”. Anyways, thanks for writing your journal. Reading other people’s journals is definitely helping me in this battle. I’ve noticed this new drug is not a respecter of persons. So many of us probably disagree on a lot of stuff but I think we all agree that this new drug is not good for us.

hope2reboot,

Sorry for the delayed response.  So very true Jesus is what really matters, and I wouldn't be where I am today a little over a 1 year free from PMO without Jesus' help.  However let me say that the Rosary was the sword that slashed and destroyed a more than 3 decade battle of fighting a porn and masturbation addiction.  I had no idea how powerful the Rosary is.  I grew up Catholic and there were many years when I never prayed even 1 Rosary.  I tried everything to stop this wretched addiction, the only thing that worked for me was the Rosary. Back a few days before the new year of 2017, I began in desperation praying three Rosaries a day, and I continued to pray them every day and I went 28 days free from PMO.  I then got lazy and stopped praying the three Rosaries a day and then I soon fell to PMO again.  And then I fell back into PMO marathon for almost 2 years and finally deciding to pray the three Rosaries a day since September 2018.  And the results speak for themselves I have been porn and masturbation free for a little over a year.  I can't describe how I have changed, I am no longer enslaved to PMO or lust, my whole life has changed.   

Try praying 1 Rosary every day for a month, I will guarantee that you'll start to beat the PMO addiction. You don't have to be Catholic to pray the Rosary.  Remember you are praying to Mary to intercede to her Son, Our Lord Jesus Christ.  She's a powerful intercessor.  Put another way remember the marriage at Cana in John chapter 2:1-11?  When the wine ran out Jesus had no intention to perform the miracle of changing the water into wine, it was only through the pleading of His mother Mary the Blessed Virgin Mary that He relented and performed the miracle. We are praying the Rosary to Jesus, it's His mother through the Rosary who intercedes on our behalf to ask Jesus to answer our prayers.  Believe me the Rosary works, I am living proof.  I will be saying it every day for the rest of my life which now has so much promise since PMO is behind me.  There are 15 promises of the Rosary and this one kept popping into my head, and finally after trying everything to beat PMO, this promise was what caused me to try the Rosary:

"The Rosary shall be a powerful armor against hell, it will destroy vice, decrease sin, and defeat heresies."

Keep fighting the good fight!



   
« Last Edit: September 27, 2019, 12:40:59 PM by Rex »
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Re: Terrible Suffering And Great Victory
« Reply #58 on: September 27, 2019, 12:33:48 PM »
Day 368 (1 Year, 2 days):

Reboot Update: I am now were I always wanted to be for the last 3 decades, a little over 1 year free from PMO.  I owe all the thanks to God and the sword of the Rosary.  Please read the previous post above for more details.  Everything has changed for the better I never thought this day would arrive where I would be over a year free from PMO.  I will continue to be vigilant and I am going to continue to pray at least 1 Rosary a day for the rest of my life.

Health Update: Still suffering from Lyme, having plenty of ups and downs but I am seeing some improvement of some of the symptoms and I believe just as the PMO addiction had a 100% hold on me until I prayed the daily Rosary, my chronic illness will also in the near future be eradicated through the daily Rosary.

Good luck to everyone in this battle, I will continue to check in and give updates....

« Last Edit: September 27, 2019, 12:42:00 PM by Rex »
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jixu

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Re: Terrible Suffering And Great Victory
« Reply #59 on: September 28, 2019, 09:32:56 AM »
Excellent report Rex-nice job!  Hope you continue to see some improvements from the physical ailments.  Keep going, and keep in touch! 

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Re: Terrible Suffering And Great Victory
« Reply #60 on: October 12, 2019, 11:16:05 AM »
Excellent report Rex-nice job!  Hope you continue to see some improvements from the physical ailments.  Keep going, and keep in touch!

Jixu,

Thanks, my physical aliments have slowly been improving.  Still have some rough days but the really bad symptoms seem to be shorter and less frequent.


Now for my journal update....

Day 383 (1 year, 18 days)

Reboot Update: One of the most interesting changes in my life is that my previous 3 decade addiction to PMO is almost forgotten.  I don't think about it, I don't count days.  The new me is a life without PMO.  One of the biggest challenges now is to keep up the vigilance and the prayer life that has gotten me to being over 1 year free from PMO.  And not forgetting that without God, I would not be where I am today.  Once in a while there are still triggers and temptations that pop into my head but I swipe them away the moment they hit my head and they really hold no power over me.  For instance if I am out at the mall and a racy ad is in a store window, I just glance away from it and pay no attention to it.  These types of things have become for me like an ultra annoying person that I just ignore and pay no attention to.  Now it's second nature for me to remain clean and practice purity.  It has provided me with a happiness I haven't had in a long time.  I am no longer a slave to lustful thoughts and temptations, I am a free man.

Health Update: It's been slow but with a change in natural supplements, I am gradually beginning to feel better and my battle with Lyme and its co-infections is gradually taking less of a toll on me.  I am getting out of the house more and the symptoms are lessening in their intensity and not lasting as long when they hit.


Thought of the day:

1) Interrupt your next fall to PMO: Next time right before you fall into PMO when you begin to feel that adrenaline rush and the temptations and urges are so intense that the fall to PMO seems inevitable.  Immediately stop what you are doing, and just standup and walk around the room and relax and perform some deep breathing exercises and really think, I mean concentrate and focus on how rotten you are going to feel emotionally and spiritually after you fall to PMO. Nobody feels good after a fall to PMO.  You can pray during this time and ask God for the strength to beat this fall.  What all this does is interrupt the process of the fall.  Then after you have gotten the heart rate lower and are feeling calmer, go do something else productive or leave the house for a few hours.  After doing something else for a few hours or leaving the house for a few hours you will have broken the chain of the inevitable fall and turned it into a victory.  Now if you continue to repeat this interruption you'll find you will be free from PMO for a day, then a week, then a month, and then a year, etc.  We are habitual in nature, break the chain of this habitual PMO behavior and your new life awaits. 

 
« Last Edit: October 12, 2019, 11:24:48 AM by Rex »
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cranm329

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Re: Terrible Suffering And Great Victory
« Reply #61 on: October 12, 2019, 01:51:16 PM »
Great post. Really encouraging. Thanks.

Rex

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Re: Terrible Suffering And Great Victory
« Reply #62 on: November 01, 2019, 11:56:49 AM »
cranm329,

Thanks for the kind words.


Day 403 (over 1 year):

Reboot Update: Now I am over 1 year of being clean, I have gotten to the point where I don't think about my former PMO addiction that destroyed me for many years.  My brain is rewired differently to want to stay clean and it's now the new normal to stay clean.  The temptations still pop up in the head from time to time but they don't have a hold on me.  I see these temptations for what they are and I swat them away and they disappear.  I am continuing the daily prayer life which is vital for keeping me on the straight and narrow. 


Health Update: Slowly getting better, still having the tough days but also having more of the better days.


Thoughts of the Day:   

1) Take it one day at a time: Just get through each day as arrives, being PMO free.  Then do the same the next day and then the day after that.  Give everything you have to staying clean each day.  The days will turn into weeks and the weeks into months and then the months into years. 

2) Take control of your thoughts:: You may get hit with urges and temptations but you have the free will to entertain these urges and temptations or fight them.  If you fight and refuse to entertain these urges and temptations, you won't fall to PMO.  The fall to PMO always starts with entertaining these thoughts in your head.

3) Don't waste your time with smutty TV shows and movies: Keep the mind clear of the impurity by staying away from watching TV shows and movies that have any nudity and/or sexual content or any dirty language.  For instance I started watching a few months back some old reruns of the TV show Taxi which originally aired from 1978-1983, but after a few episodes I noticed that the characters kept talking about sex and sexual themes, so I stopped watching it.  There's an old saying "garbage in, garbage out".  When we allow this type of impurity to enter into the mind it tends to eventually manifest itself in an obsession with thinking about sex which leads to porn, masturbation, etc....  Stick with the clean TV shows and movies or find some new productive hobbies.   

     

« Last Edit: November 01, 2019, 12:03:16 PM by Rex »
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