Author Topic: Some hope after relapse  (Read 632 times)

KeepUpTheGoodWork

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Some hope after relapse
« on: October 13, 2016, 12:17:02 PM »
Yesterday was supposed to be day 57, but instead, while drunk in the wee hours of the morning, I decided that I could get away with some edging to images online. That escalated to finding clips (that my porn blocker couldn't detect). I think you all know the rest.

I was/am really disappointed in myself because up to that point, this really has been the easiest string of abstinence I have experienced. I truly thought I had this thing by the throat and I was going to win this time.

I was depressed most of the morning after tearfully fessing up to my girlfriend. She was overly supportive and it helped a lot. I decided not to wallow in the depression and I hit the gym then practiced my drums for a few hours.

Then, last night I attended my first Sex Addicts Anonymous meeting. It was really good and I felt even better for going. Like here, it's just a bunch of men and women in the struggle. I was even more happy to see that most of the people there have been clean for over a year. I went in being all cocky about my 56 days. Well, we all need some humility.  Anyway, I picked up a bunch of reading material and I am really learning some new things from it.

I came on to highly suggest that if you need more help, to seek out a support group in your area. One important thing I learned was that while I had identified as being a porn addict, I am truly a sex addict and even though I had been clean from porn, I was still acting out with other behaviors (for example, planning sex). I think in realizing that I was still acting out, even though it wasn't in porn, I've taken a much bigger step toward recovery.

Good luck folks.

https://saa-recovery.org/