Author Topic: the 6th chapter : let the journey begin  (Read 1336 times)

young shinobi

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the 6th chapter : let the journey begin
« on: October 13, 2016, 07:46:14 AM »
I’m the Young shinobi .

This was my true identity, I had two loved ones in my life, all I can remember is that all my fights were driven by my deep desire to save theme. My dear Mother and my beautiful little sister. Everything else was simple and pure.
Then a villain came along [PMO/ADDICTION], he was strong, powerful, and he never seamed to have a weakness point. The more I got weaker the greater his power became.
At that time it never crossed my mind that the villain and the young shinobi were one person, two  faces of the same coin.
I , the young shinobi , never had the enough power to escape from this trap, after hitting my 18 birthday , it was clear to me that I was trapped in a never ending vicious cycle, since my mind didn’t shift, the same events , experiences perpetuated theme  self, over and over again   for the last 4 years .
I used to train almost every day because I wanted to gain strength , I  was always inspired by math , physics and even literature because I needed to obtain more knowledge , wisdom and intelligence , “to my the right mind is in the right body “.
But after my encounter with the villain, my addiction, my repetitive acts of MASTURBATING/PORNOGRAPHY.  My warrior identity started to fade away , my drive to succeed ,and even my true love toward my mother and sister wasn’t enough to stand up and face the villain in the battle field and say :”NO, you are not me , and this is how you are going down”.

The transformation needs to happen now, I still want to achieve my first academic record, I want to study hard enough to earn a scholarship to Japan, I  also want to become a real strong/wise Man by the time I hit 25 year.
 I crave the desire to push my physical and mental abilities to the limits and see where I can get , the sky is the limit.
My mother is probably the only person how never gave up on me  , she was also the first person to know about my struggle with PMO, she was very comprehensive , and told my this phrase like every time she does:
“ you have greatness inside you , you just need to tape into it”
So to all of you guys up there, reboot nation  , how had enough of being average , over looked , under estimated because our addiction left us with no choice but to give up , today, tonight , we declare war upon this abomination .
Every single day passing by during our reboot process will testify that we never quieted, never surrounded, and all the tools we will use against this enemy will make use stronger, faster and smarter.
Wake up early every single day , use your body and workout every single day , feed your mind with books and words of wisdom, and life lasting lessons instead of momentary instant of fake pleasure, live life and prosper.
Thanks to all ya.




young shinobi

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Re: the 6th chapter : let the journey begin
« Reply #1 on: October 13, 2016, 07:47:14 AM »
Greeting to the entire reboot nation.
 I’m 22 years old young student from Morocco and this my speak up story.
I joined this community  as a first step in getting support and sharing my story with everyone , hoping to find the last pieces I need to get ride of this vice ones and for all.
After a none ending cycle of relapsing, I just passed my first day PMO free as my first step in the 100 foot journey.
At the age of 10:
I have been addicted to P for over 12 years, and it all started with the (-18) French movies where I have my first encounter with naked woman bodies and sex scenes ,  I easily got  hooked on it waiting for the next movie to run other scenes so I can feed my 10 years curiosity .this fact is new to me because For the first time I made a great effort remembering my first contact with P.
After that came the school rivalry to watch the first P images in public cyber –since I never had a computer- , and after that motion videos came along so I can get instantly hooked on P .  
At the age of 14 :
4 years later I made my first act of M , alone in the shower with no sex stimulate, I remember it was only an act of curiosity to discover my puberty , the first rush of dopamine was so good –addicting good-.
First I used to make fantasy stories in my head to M but when I discovered how much the process was easier and more rewarding with P , it’s then when the problems began .
Through primary and middle school I was a real good athlete, an A student how made ever lasting good impressions on every person I meet , I was kind , funny . Teachers, neighbors , family even regular friends saw me as a smart and talented young person with great future. Some people remember my name in time where don’t even recognized them.
At the age of 14-16:
High school came with my first years with this secret struggle , my mental and physical abilities started to fade away , my scores got lower and I always felt weak and trapped without making the connection to my addiction because at the time I didn’t see it that way , it was only a fun time to relief the stress and feel  momentarily good about my self .
At the age of  16 :
Due to my restricted access to internet ,  and at 2010 I joined a military school , the first year was awesome , I was top 5 in school , a promising runner . I fell  in love for the first time with a smart beautiful girl and I had great ambitions to go further , to graduate with high scores and win a scholarship to Japan to finish my university studies , but the fairytale was coming to and end.



young shinobi

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Re: the 6th chapter : let the journey begin
« Reply #2 on: October 13, 2016, 07:47:57 AM »
From my seventeen up until now:
I’m 22 year old for the current time. And I can  still remember  my graduation year like it was yesterday , precisely the 26 June 2012, when I saw my final score  , my hopes and dreams fall apart:
-   At that moment all I could recall where my times in front of the computer screens , wasting time in a vicious PMO cycle , at school , down-town cyberspace , even at the family place if they had any remote internet access  .
From that miserable date my life took a wrong turn to hell, my addiction became heavier and heavier as the years went by:
-   my social  life became= zero 
-   my human contact became=zero, 
-   My academic achieving = mediocre.
This last point was even more hurtful, I originated from a poor family, and my success meant saving them from the bottom. But after   enlisting my name in a close home university - like community college –  with no girlfriend, no friends , no hobbies and definitely no workout since my PMOing/over sleeping  took all of my time , I realized that the young 16 year athlete how loved math and physics was no longer inside , I was replaced by a lost soul , stocked in regret and memory land .
This where the most dangerous PMO consequence I felt each day passing by :
-   no motivation
-   no drive toward life 
-   a chronic social anxiety 
-   an out of shape physic 
-   no emotion response
-   no sense of time
-   isolation from the outside world
-   brain fog and a close symptoms to ADD
my longest strike on PMO was 67 days last summer , I got a waiter job  ,and  I was occupied almost the hall day , at night when I would comeback , I would go straight to bed without even thinking about P or M , before that was a 46 day strike , in my third  year of college , I made a full schedule of studies/workout/leisure’s ,but couldn’t commit to it because thanks to my addiction , I never finish what I start  .
I hope my story wasn’t so long , or boring for that matter , but 12 years of struggle isn’t quit easy to be resumed in few words , so thanks to anyone how spend this last 5 minutes finishing it. 
THANK YOU ALL



young shinobi

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the begenning
« Reply #3 on: January 01, 2017, 06:33:57 AM »
Greeting to all the reboot nation

Week 2

The BEGINNING 

Two week, exactly 14 days =about 348 hours, since I have decided to make a different choice every time I get the chance to. 

I have relapsed more than five time after my last post , I was of curse dwelling inside the PMO black hole , from witch no hope , no wise acts and no willing to act escapes it’s trap. Despite the overwhelming feeling of disorientation, and despair , something deep down kept whispering in my head ; “change”.

So in the 28 November , two weeks ago, I attended a motivational seminar , where I had the courage to stand in front of 800 stranger and speak up about my struggle with PMO . this was the beginning of my desired journey.

7 days later I witnessed a car accident , in witch a friend of mine from work got hit by car , the emotional height of weakness & sorrow was so strong that I knew that I was still alive deep down , and that I owed to my self to do whatever it take to stop feeling weak , vulnerable and helpless .

In order for me to break the cycle of PMO , I need to step into my fairs : ”religion”;” studies”; family” “work”.; and“ my self ”. The five pillars of my life. and the guide line of my decision making. 


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the revolution
« Reply #4 on: January 01, 2017, 06:36:33 AM »
Week 3 

n The revolution 

26days= 636 hours since my last realapse

It's near the darkness where we can find the light within.

I knew that my answer will be revealed once am ready, 

I know more than ever how much time is valuable to me, & that the biggest trigger for my PMOing is time chaos.

Less activities means more free time & eventually more chances for the addiction behavior pattern to take place.

After this relapse, I knew that if I let the shame robe me of my focus on the few activities & habits I successfully designed:

“Park workout”, “study session “, & “morning ritual”.

I will loose the momentum of recovery, & inevitably dive deep into my addiction.

This addiction kept me under the surface for too long. I believe that a life free from PMO addiction will grant me access to my full potential. a life free from Porn , Masturbation is one where my strong will take form , and where God , my creator will be there for me , helping me every step of the way.

A life free from addiction is where my dreams comes true , where I get to go to Japan , where my mother , sister & I have a home of our own.

Where I can enjoy every breath, every color ,& every smell , because I’m no longer a slave .I AM A MASTER OF MY OWN EXISTANCE.


young shinobi

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the time wave
« Reply #5 on: January 01, 2017, 07:22:39 AM »
n week 5

n the time wave

I crossed the fifth week barrier =827 hours since I decided to let go of my biggest weakness, and rediscover what my body and brain is capable of .

I remember posting  here on reboot nation an article called the power of sleep in witch I discuss the matter of early rising habit and how it affect my mood during the day . So in light of my new approach this time, the new year comes with an upgrade :

” The morning ritual “ .

From where I stand I can honestly say that this segment of my time table determines the outcomes of my entire day. For the last 34 days I have been waking up every single day at 05h30 with so much energy throughout the entire day .  

On the other hand I’ve experienced porn fantasy and chaser effect only on days that I messed this section of my day , the days where I miss the TIME WAVE.

To make every day more interesting than the other I like to think of the next morning as an ocean wave , and I’m an amateur surfer how’s trying to catch that one & only WAVE . if I wake up exactly at 05h30 , and I go through the entire morning ritual :” cold shower =gratitude tea=reading my goals=prayer=meditation  and finally writing in my journals -memories of a young shinobi-“ I ride the time wave until the end of the day with full energy and focus. I get to work on my bachelor degree , to catch an 8 hour shift as a waiter ,workout, do my home shores and spare time for my mother and sister .

This is the kind of positive feedback I was expecting from rebooting, to be self-aware of time , loved ones and activities that once where neglected by my PMO episodes .