30 days porn free and showing some signs of improvement

I have been 30 days porn free and am starting to regain feelings of being normal again.  My PIED seems to have started to go away.  Still have a ways to go but am feeling optimistic.  Have told my wife and am working with her.  This website has really been helpful so far.

To provide a little background viewed p off and on occasionally most of my adult life.  Probably started out only once every 3 months or so.  Started using more regularly about 3 years ago.  Over the past 9-12 months got heavily into it.  Around that time started having PIED issues here and there.  Over the past five months it got worse.  My wife thought I was cheating on her.  So October tenth I came clean with her and told her.  Have been porn free for a month.  Trying to reboot.  It has almost cost me my marriage and family.  She has come around and agreed to stay with me if I quit and get better.  Have started running and exercising.  I am starting to rewire with her and am regaining feelings and am getting occasional erections again.  I'm not where I need to be but am getting there.  Feeling optimistic about things.  I am not currently having any issues with wanting to watch p at this point but am still concerned about getting back in the swing of things with my wife.

Still running and started lifting weights (deadlifts) with emphasis on a kegal squeeze.  Slowly improving on the PIED 32 days with no p.  3 weeks with no orgasams.  Wife is looking better and better every day to me.  Mostly just dealing with some feelings of guilt for the damage I've caused to my marriage is my only negative feelings I'm having.  Thank you for this website and fourm, it has been a great help.

Still improving and having better days than others.  Not having a problem with viewing p but still trying to adjust to life without it.  Any body have any suggestions with rewiring with a wife.  I feel like some times I can and other times it's tough.  Got an erectection last night that was pretty impressive.

Don't have any suggestions for re-wiring with your wife but will be curious to read your progress. It's been about 3 days with no P, but I have a long journey ahead. Have not shared this with wife yet.  Keep posting.

Day 36,. Had an urge to veiw p Saturday but resisted.  Other than that the weekend went well.  I feel small improvements still.  I'm not where I need to be but I'm on my way there.  My sexual feelings for my wife are returning but I wish they were more consistent.  Any advice from others who have been through similar situations are welcome.

My struggles have been similar to yours but over a much longer period of time.

I'm currently rewiring with my bride.

My journal is here: http://legacy.rebootnation.org/index.php?topic=10511.0

Thank you farmer,. Feeling really good today ran a mile and a half and lifted weights.  Slowly started rewiring with my beautiful wife.  Finding her more and more attractive almost every day.  Starting with giving her neck rubs and some kissing.  PIED is slowly improving.  No relapses so far.  Rebuilding confidence slowly but surely.  Thanks for the support guys.

Have been feeling good but seemed to have hit a flat line.  Think it's just because I was tired last night.  I'm gonna try and have a fool around session with the wife this weeked.  Wish me luck.

Sounds like you're making good progress both physically as well as mentally.

In beginning to reconnect and rewire with my bride, we made a mutual agreement up front which consisted of the following:

1) No goals or expectations
2) No pressure
3) No disappointment

By embracing that, we were both able to relax and realize that neither of us was looking for anything in particular. We're just reconnecting and letting things take us wherever they lead us. If we end up making out a little and simply falling asleep together that's okay. If we end up making out a lot and actually engage in intercourse that's fine too.

Because of my chronic PIED issues, I knew going into the rewire process that there would be times that my body simply wasn't going to respond. By mutual agreement, that's okay. And because we were able to remove the expectations and goals we were both able to relax and enjoy whatever happened.

As your time together this weekend approaches, find a way to mentally dismiss the outside world and immerse yourself fully in your time with her. Lose yourself in the moment. Just the two of you. Try not to think of or dwell on how your body may, or may not, respond. Enjoy whatever it is that happens.

If you're able to do those things, I think you both will be happy with the results. No matter what they are.

I'm 72 or so days in and I can say that the PIED is getting much better. There are times it still taunts me, but I've gone from a consistent zero to 75-80% ability so that's a big big step in the right direction.

All the best to you sir.

Day 38 and feeling more confident and determined.  I am physically and mentally feeling good.  Thanks farmer your a great help.  I think I turned my wife on a little bit with some soft kissing, got a little giggle out of her.  Still exercising.  Feeling about 60% better about the PIED. WE CAN DO THIS.

Day 39,. Got one hell of an erectection last night.  It felt great.  Woke up with one too,. However it didn't last real long.  Improvement none the less.  Feeling a little tired from working a lot.  My wife and I are going to look into a mini vacation together soon.

Need to get better12345 said:

Still running and started lifting weights (deadlifts) with emphasis on a kegal squeeze.  Slowly improving on the PIED 32 days with no p.  3 weeks with no orgasams.  Wife is looking better and better every day to me.  Mostly just dealing with some feelings of guilt for the damage I've caused to my marriage is my only negative feelings I'm having.  Thank you for this website and fourm, it has been a great help.

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Its natural to feel guilt for the pain you have caused but, to me, you are atoning for your "sins," by committing to starting a new life without porn. If you continue to be successful on this journey, the pain will only be a small anecdote in your "story," of your family and not the main theme of the whole "book." It's easy to be down on yourself during this reboot, emotions and feelings will ebb and flow as your brain resets to homeostasis but understand that things are always changing and a good, healthy mindset will serve you well.

My advice, which I realize is easier said than done, is to not be so hard on yourself. You human, fallible, and susceptible to mistakes; we all are. The trip ups and mistakes are inevitable but how you react to and view them is a choice. Choose to not let it define you or ruin your life. You are on the right track and it sounds like you're doing quite well!

Keep up the good work!
-B

Glad to hear things are picking "up" for you in that department. Have you shared any of this with your wife? I will say, I talked to mine on Tuesday and told her everything. It was way better than I imagined. I also told my best friend yesterday. But I think that's about as much sharing as I am going to do for a while. It's weird - you tell someone and feel better about yourself for having admitted it, and you start to think you need to tell more people. But...Some things the clerk at the grocery store just doesn't want to hear about. 

Day 42.,. Spent the weekend remodeling my house with my wife.  It's was a good time and a great bonding experience.  I feel like Im ready to go and make love some nights but I think she may be feeling hurt.  I need some more time to talk with her some more.
,

Think back to the time when the two of you first met. Approach your current situation from that standpoint.

Take her on an old fashioned date. Surprise her out of the blue. Be spontaneous. Make the plans yourself and don't tell her what you're up to. Call her up and ask her to choose between Plan A and Plan B. Don't tell her what the plans are. That's for you to decide.

Once she's chosen, give her some basic instructions like "Be ready at six", "Wear comfortable shoes (if applicable)", "Bring a sweater" etc etc.

Arrange for the sitter yourself if you have children that need one.

Dress up. Bring flowers to the house when you come to pick her up. Court her. Romance her. Take her someplace new or to a place that is special to the two of you. Think of where you met or your first date or where you got engaged. Take her back there. This is your way of reaching out and reconnecting to her with your heart and soul. Walk hand in hand with her. Share a sunset together. Simple things go a long way.

Do all of this without any goal of making out or sex or anything else beyond one on one time together. Let her set the pace for her return to you. (And she will, of course, return to you.)

These are things that worked well for me in reconnecting with my bride. Hopefully they'll prove to be handy for you too.

Feeling good today,. Have been being more open with my wife about things.  Making progress no relapse so far.  Just gotta stay strong.1 day at a time.

Gave my wife a massage last night.  It was great I was very aroused.  I feel like I am about 60-70% where I need to be with the PIED issue.  I have to thank God for this website.  It is a lifesaver.  Thanks for your support guys.

Day 45,. Slowly but surely improving.  It seems like every other day is an improvement with PIED.  I'm not sure if my brain to natrual arousal connection improves and then needs to rest.  Had some meaningful conversation with the wife last night.  We discussed my progress a little bit.  We're going out to dinner tonight I plan on offering her another massage tonight and seeing were it takes us.  Wish me luck.

Day 46, went out on a date with my beautiful wife last night.  By the end of it we were tired,. When we went to bed I was aroused and wanted to have sex but she was too tired.  My PIED is improving more and more each day.  Still running and exercising feeling good.  I just have to wait till she's in the mood and am looking forward to it.