Author Topic: My Turn to Start 10 July 2017  (Read 46277 times)

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Re: My Turn to Start 10 July 2017
« Reply #750 on: May 14, 2018, 07:26:47 PM »
addiction to a substance is rarely about the substance.

the addiction exists because there is a perceived solution the substance provides.
but ultimately the substance never does anything to improve the situation.
worse, it keeps the problem in place and adds more issues to it.

What are the reasons i turn to addiction?

1. attention seeking
2. success seeking
3. connection/acceptance seeking
why ?
Perceived lack of attention, success and connection in life
why?
1. the substitute is easier to obtain than reality
2. i did not persist long enough for my goals
3. i was not clear about what my goals were
4. i did not know how to appreciate whatever that i have
why?
1. i was lazy
2. i feared failure
3. i did not have my eyes on success
4. i did not know what i want
why?
1. i did not love myself enough
2. i did not respect myself enough
3. i did not care about what mattered to me

so what should i do ?
1. love myself
2. respect myself
3. make effort
4. be clear about what i want
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Re: My Turn to Start 10 July 2017
« Reply #751 on: May 15, 2018, 05:09:51 PM »
Addressing inadequacies

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Re: My Turn to Start 10 July 2017
« Reply #752 on: May 16, 2018, 05:39:15 PM »
So i understand a little better of myself:

1. running away
2. looking outwards for affirmation instead of inwards
3. about goal setting
4. recognizing my greatness instead of failures


1. running away
most of my life i have been running away to a safe place
i run away because i have a negative mindset
the finale is bad so why persist
but that is wrong goal setting

a. goal setting is about effort, not outcome
we cannot control outcome, but we can control our effort

b. lacking purpose/priority
without the greater purpose or priority, we lose focus and start to dwell on the immediate challenges. burnout is easy
the greater purpose of personal achievement and meaning helps me to overcome immediate losses and persist when things are not looking up.
things cannot be always looking up so i need to keep making effort
eg:
1. i am fortunate to be paid while having the opportunity to improve my work skills
2. i am fortunate to make friends to improve my relationship skills

c. not addressing properly personal needs and wants
because i give up too soon, i never can see through what it is that i want
eventually i do not know what i want
i must persist to see my desires and intentions through


2 looking outwards instead of inwards for affirmation
i am a strong person, yet i constantly look outwards for direction instead of inwards
perhaps this is fear of failure, result of years of running away
this doesnt help me in decision making and understanding personal needs
a. i fear my poor memory is one reason
b. greed for wanting the best but not being practical
c. negative mindset of only seeing the worse




i would be unable to love another properly until i learn to love myself properly
« Last Edit: May 16, 2018, 05:40:47 PM by TakeActionNow »
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Re: My Turn to Start 10 July 2017
« Reply #753 on: May 17, 2018, 04:44:18 PM »
Enduring helps me understand what is truly important.

1. porn fasting
2. water fasting
3. long distance running
4. goal delivery
5. embracing uncertainty

1. porn fasting (engage)(emotion)
the aim of this isnt about dopamine or rigidity.
it is about engaging and enduring our emotional discontent (the root that drove us to any addiction/dependence including religion) so that we may see things clearly and start to manage these issues directly.
only then will these items happen:
1. identify what is unique about ourselves, what do we truly like or dislike
2. identify what is needed for improvement
3. identify our unique strengths and weakness, so that we know better where to apply ourselves best, and where do we need help
4. what is truly most beneficial to us, and what is junk and fluff that drains us

2. water fasting (survive)(sustenance)
this is another interesting ordeal that pushes us to our limit.
the discipline here is to resist the temptation of food and activity, and settle into a state of calmness and lack with only water as a source of comfort and support.
here we learn of enduring when placed in an environment of insufficiency.

Losing weight is minor
Autophagy is better
but the biggest gain is again, when put in a stressful situation like this which one must endure, the unimportant stuff are quickly let go of, and only the important ones remain.
The delusion of imagery and imagination are quickly identified to be false, and only honest helpful real ones (loving family) are treasured because they endure.

3. long distance running (resolve)(survival)
again another difficult task. here the discipline is to continue when the mind, heart and body are all fatigued.
Here we learn about our personal limits when placed in harsh activity.
again, losing weight or timing records are minor.
when distant running we learn of shutting out indulgence signals, negative mindsets, and start building strength, inner resilience and greater self dependence and confidence
Unhelpful factors are let go of because they only add to weight and burden, something we already carry too much of and still must endure
when finished, we gain inner resolve and confidence to do more difficult and demanding tasks

4. goal delivery (discipline)(determination)
here the aim is not about reaching the finale of the goal
it is about the daily effort to delivery what the goal requires:
1. read 1 chapter every day
2. write a journal every day
3. go gym 1 3 5
4. run 2 4 6
5 donate $10 every sunday
etc

5. Embrace change and uncertainty
This is perhaps most difficult.
because there is so much comfort in certainty
this is a mindset issue.
we hold on to certainty because of expectations
and expections are self created, not reality
they bind us to outcomes we desire, but not actual.

Letting go of expectation allows me to receive the world fully
And not have to struggle to keep up with appearances and seek only impossible perfections and ideals


Understand this:
1. life span is limited. mortality is destined
2. only 24 hours a day
3. only 1 life
x Do not waste life
x Do not waste time
x Do not indulge in meaningless activities
x Do not distance/disengage
> Immerse in whatever i do
> Identify what is truly important and necessary
> Build inner understanding, strength, resolve, certainty, self sufficiency
> Learn to let go, change and grow
« Last Edit: May 17, 2018, 05:03:34 PM by TakeActionNow »
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Re: My Turn to Start 10 July 2017
« Reply #754 on: May 17, 2018, 07:52:14 PM »
Letting go is another huge concept

I'm holding on because my life has little
my life has little because
i did not immerse and make effort
i did not take risks
i am fearful of failure
i avoid change and discomfort
in the end i hold on to the little that i have
because my mindset is fixed and unyielding
they are like that because of expectations
because i want things the way i want them to be

this is unrealistic
my thinking is unrealistic
my expectations are unrealistic
my behavior are unrealistic

i need to change
i need to let go in order to let new things in
i need to stop setting standards and accept things as they are
i need to stop being so hard on myself and start receiving all this wonderful world has to offer

let go
let go
let go
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Re: My Turn to Start 10 July 2017
« Reply #755 on: May 19, 2018, 09:00:28 AM »
for the things we love, there is no limit to our capacity

so why do we often find ourselves out of capacity?
1. not involved / immersed / engaged (distracted with other things)
2. emotionally filled ( often because of negativity )

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Re: My Turn to Start 10 July 2017
« Reply #756 on: May 28, 2018, 06:01:25 PM »
It has been 1 year 1 month since I unofficially started.
I cant say I have been clean but I can say that I have changed much
It has been a long journey towards finding myself, and this journey continues.
Here are some key points in my life these last 13 months:

Timeline
Basically gave up life and pursuits for some years already
Met a girl wonderful enough to move me passionately
Lost her because I was too needy
went into deep depression and was suicidal
complete negativity language in my head
struggled to find a job
found a job
struggled in the job (anxiety/depression/negativity)
started to do well in the job
face up to company politics and vicious backstabbing
continued to do well in the job.

Key personal achievement
In the meanwhile, I did several road races, completed a marathon through great pain, became very fit through regular gym, started a fruit diet breakfast regime, cut down on meat and increased vegs, slept and woke early (9 to 4am), started reading. continued people encouragement etc

I am now embarking on a 36hr water fast, not for weight loss, but for autophagy and for mental resilience training.

Main points
1. I am embracing the words i have written: strength / language within my head / goal focusing / independence
2. I have finally recognized the role of a man, wrt self and women
3. I am practicing very deeply "doing what i said i would", and becoming a man of my word, a man others can rely on.

Some recent thoughts
About women:
Woman by their nature is living and alive. They need man as a pillar in their life for stability and support.
This man must support and provide them. That is the root of a man's purpose.
The role of a relationship is not simply of provision of joy and happiness, but it is to actively take away the other's pain and unhappiness, it is to give support.

About porn addiction.
By being addicted to porn, we are not giving, we are taking
we are not supporting, we are depending.
We therefore become valueless.

The attractive man
The attractive man is not one who loves a girl so much as to put her in the center of his universe.
He is a person whose life has purpose and meaning.
He lives beyond himself, and multiplies his offerings to the world
He seeks and achieves events in his life that he finds meaningful to himself and others.
It is not one simply about seeking laughter and joy, but one of peace, balance within, and personal pursuit. To have courage to go where his heart tells him to.
A woman is proud to be with him because she and others look up to him.
She is proud to be with him because he provides, and he has chosen her over others.
He does not have to be a millionaire in terms of money and connections.
He just has to be a millionaire in terms of character and self worth.

The importance of grit and suffering
abstinence from porn is important and is the first step.
it is to wean us from dependence
picking suffering over indulgence is important
it is to build deeper inner resilience
picking deep challenges is important
it says and shows us that we can achieve what we want
entering deep suffering and abstinence is important
it clarifies what is important and helps us to focus and discard the unimportant.

A healthy lifestyle lacking excesses is a virtuous one.
The results are kind and beneficial.

I have simple goals now:
1. to live a good meaningful life
2. to be able to provide for others
3. to embrace my challenges deeply
4. to be one person always, never distracted, always present and engaged.
5. to be attractive to others by being attractive to myself

I wish all of you well and success in your life
« Last Edit: May 28, 2018, 06:06:45 PM by TakeActionNow »
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Re: My Turn to Start 10 July 2017
« Reply #757 on: May 28, 2018, 08:02:08 PM »
I went for a walk this morning and thought more:

1.  there is a limit to giving but no limit in taking.
In porn we take and take and take, but never once gave
this breeds greed, self centerness, dependency, uncertainty

In real life there is always a limit to giving
we must know that limit
we must push that limit
only then can we appreicate

every relationship involves exchange
if we continue to practice taking without giving, we can never understand our relationship with people, with society

2. the strengthening of mind and character begins first with the body, with senses
one just needs to endure (not deprivation)
In exercise. to last longer
in fasting, to last longer

There are items i will give more of:
rest, water, in order to keep going.

in fasting, one understands the power of sensation.
Sense gratification happens on so many levels:
1 food, taste, flavor: feeling of completeness and satiation
2. visual: seeing beauty
3. sound: hearing tones that motivate
4. smell: smelling scent that invigorates
5. touch: having the connection with someone/thing else

long term deprivation is no good. We all need inspiration
but short term fast/endurance is beneficial for cleansing and appreciation


« Last Edit: May 28, 2018, 10:26:17 PM by TakeActionNow »
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Re: My Turn to Start 10 July 2017
« Reply #758 on: July 17, 2018, 09:46:36 AM »
Just wanted to say I am excited to learn of your progress.

Peace

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Re: My Turn to Start 10 July 2017
« Reply #759 on: October 21, 2018, 04:02:36 AM »
Some quick notes:

1. Porn is dependency.
Addiction is dependency.
As long as we are dependent, we rely on external for all of our sense of achievement or success.
This is unsustainable and very depriving.

Porn is external.
Peace from within is true happiness.

2. Porn is unsettling.
It is varied seeking, like social media, fast and fleeting.
One can never be happier through seeking feeds vs reading a book. It is unsettling.

A stable singular is better than a varied uncertainty.

3. We may be suffering from anxiety.
Because of this we seek stability, conformity and certainty.
Porn in the form of images or videos or chat is a form of stability and assurance. When we want it, how we want it.
So its reassuring. But its not natural.

4. We may have low self esteem.
That our outlook is impending failure or doom.
So porn is reassuring success, unlike reality.
It is perfection, and absolute, desired but unachievable.

I feel this because this is how i feel about myself.

So how should i overcome my addiction, dependency, anxiety and low self esteem?

1. Incredible self love.
I depend greatly on external for a sense of love because i cannot generate that feeling from within.
Learning aboutself love and self respect is the first step to recovery.

2. Let go.
Let go of expectations, of demands, of comparison, of conformity. They are caused by anxiety and lack of self control.
Let go and embrace the reality of life, of imperfections, of the moment.

3. Acceptance.
Acceptance of myself, my reality, my life.

I hope this can help you too.


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Re: My Turn to Start 10 July 2017
« Reply #760 on: October 21, 2018, 11:17:32 AM »
So all these years my action speaks my intention:
Porn, computer games, avoidence, denial.
They are all behaviors reflective of:
Avoiding/avoidence reality
Ignoring/ignorance reality
Unchanging/unwilling to change

Fearing failure, i end up failing.

There is only one outcome possible.
Resolve to change, and accept that change is necessary.

To grow, i must first want to grow, and be able to grow.

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Re: My Turn to Start 10 July 2017
« Reply #761 on: October 22, 2018, 10:39:56 AM »
Habit and selfish/self centeredness

Porn is just another habit.
At this tine you do this. At another time you do that.
So breaking the porn habit is easy. At the usual time, do something else until you form a new habit.

Why is porn addictive? Because it is insatiable
Why is it insatiable? Because it is based on self centeredness
Why is porn self centeredness? Because it only aims to benefit the self.

Think about it.
When we make love to someone else, we hope they have a good experience too. But with porn and masterbation, its all about fulfilling MY needs.
Locking myself away in my room is MY needs
Surfing for hours for porn is FOR ME ONLY
over time we develop a self centered complex.

Why do we develop an overly perfection, self deprecating, low self esteem complex?
Because the assured way of porn and the lack of proper social exchange leads us to be uncertain how to behave properly in public, and how to set realistic standards.

Why do we get negative and depressed.
Because porn is perpetual seeking of pleasure that is unsustainable. There is no joy that is common in human interaction.

So how to break this vicious cycle?

1. Form new habits that generate real and sustainable joy, like execise or healthy reading.

2. Form am aim to help others

3. Set new goals and standards for myself to reach for.

Love and sex is for the other person to feel good.
We are naturally happier when we make others happy too.

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Re: My Turn to Start 10 July 2017
« Reply #762 on: October 23, 2018, 08:32:53 AM »
Time away and discomfort is the best way to reflect the drivers.

I reach for old ways because I'm bored.

That means i don't have important things to do
That means i dont have something i want to spend time improving on
That means I'm not taking care of myself.
That means I'm not planning and preparing for my future
That means I'm not thinking about the important stuff

Guess I'm not that free after all.
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Re: My Turn to Start 10 July 2017
« Reply #763 on: October 23, 2018, 08:42:16 AM »
Wanting to pmo means wanting to feel good
Wanting to feel good means currently not feeling good
Not feeling good is usually from not succeeding or not taking care of myself

How to feel good?
Take care of myself
Take care of others
Planning and getting things done
Working out a goal

Good. Lets get to it :)
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Re: My Turn to Start 10 July 2017
« Reply #764 on: October 23, 2018, 10:28:45 AM »
Why pmo?

I am bored (activity)
I am seeking attention (social)
I am seeking achievement (esteem)

Bored? Go learn something
Social? Go help and make someone happy
Esteem? Go complete something

To feel good about myself:
Take care and love myself properly
Recognize and reward my achievements properly
Be kind to myself
Dont let myself down
Focus on doing, not lamenting
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Re: My Turn to Start 10 July 2017
« Reply #765 on: November 24, 2018, 08:42:49 PM »
5 main topics

imagination as the root of delusion
distraction as the root of unhappiness
self love, generated from within
independence through self pride & respect
courage/confidence for an interesting/creative life

Something happened last week that made me reflect.
I found myself dull and scared most of the time
i wondered why and googled for how to regain my confidence
and i realized that my masturbating ways have kept me on as safe and certain path

> my life was dull because i did not stretch myself
> my life was dull because i lack self love and was critical of myself excessively, overly focused on my flaws and putting on too much weight to be perfect

so begin a new path and direction to regain my self love, confidence

The first reflection came regarding distractions
Distractions are anything that takes your mind away from thinking, learning or developing anything relating to real life
> porn, social media, 9gag, meme, random discussion boards, computer games
the issue with distractions is that it serves to numb
numbing means avoiding, means not taking action


confidence comes from trying something uncertain
and then when succeeding, I gains sense of success, accomplishment and trust in my abilities to do what i want to.
this allows me to let go of attachments
this allows me to become more independent.

masterbation and distraction are external dependence for myself to feel good

they compound the problem by adding "living in imagination" and delusion
2 things happen:
1. desire builds for something that can never happen or are unrealistic in real life
2. unhappiness builds because focus shifts to not having, instead of having

my story:
i loved a girl a lot
but i am unable to move to be with her, nor am i able to support her
unable to let go, i go into depression because my focus now is on what i do not have (her), instead of what i do have (health, time, welbeing, other meaning in life)
my focus is on my delusions and imaginatons

porn creates that same delusion
it makes me think i live in some awesome fantasy world where every hot woman wants to fuck me.
that every date starts in the bedroom
That is evidently not true

when dream life is unable to match with real life, the mind does not say but knows the gap
and the gap is magnified by continued lack of success of such dream
this leads to depression, then to lack of confidence, and finally to self loathing and hate

porn addiction is not simply one of substance abuse
the price is the distortion of the sense of reality and the ultimately the sense of self

so enough of the negative talk, what steps now to take towards recovery?

1. ignite the spark towards self confidence
that begins with taking a firm step towards self love, pride and respect

self love means i will
give love to myself
generate love for myself from within
be kind and gentle and forgiving
hold my self equal and as important as any other

self pride comes form holding on to self principles.
by reaffirming my self beliefs, and stop comparing and competing with others
i stand by my principles which i believe is healthy and beneficial to myself and others
i hold my own standards and refuse to be judged by others

in doing so, i become independent and self respecting
and with this, i can gradually let go of dependencies, and become more independent

porn, distraction, and external appeals are all dependencies as it makes my happiness determined by outside rather than inside. so i need to stop that.


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Re: My Turn to Start 10 July 2017
« Reply #766 on: December 13, 2018, 07:40:21 PM »
1. Limiting factor

When I am weakest, ask myself:
1. what is hurting?
2. will it kill me?
3. if not, move on/ get over it


2. Knowing the BIG Why

There are moments that get me down.
These are only moments
Moments are not what I live for.
I live for the BIG why.

What is my WHY
What am I working towards.
Get over the moment, and stay focused on the WHY


3. Always look forward, never back

having something to look forward = gain = generates happiness
always looking back = not having things to look forward to = lack = sadness/depression

4.  have plenty to do / on my plate

this avoids down/empty time
this avoids returning to old bad habits
this ensures i have a constant flow of sense of success


5. once committed, never give up

giving up/stopping short = robs me of completion = robs me of the experience of success
it is the success experience that keeps me going
quitting is not failure. it is simply not success
not success = no experience of sucess
no experience of success = no experience of joy/confidence
I can only stop AFTER I have experience success/completion


6, Depression is focusing on lack

it is the focus of what i dont have
it generates the sensation of lack
it is an empty feeling, insufficient, gap
there are infinite things i dont have and only very few that i do have
focusing on what i dont have is stupid

focus on what i do have
it generates a sense of abundance
it is an overflowing feeling, sufficiency, excess
i am complete, and i can give and help others

I have health
I have self
I have people i love around me
I have people who want to be with me
I have people who care about me
I have things I care about
I have activities that need me
I have things i want to achieve
I have life
I have this day to live
I have abundence

7. understand the true nature of addiction

it is not addiction to substance
it is dependence on substance for a sense of self/fulfillment
Therefore, to exit addiction is to exit dependence
to exit dependence is to create internal independence


internal independence is created by
1. completion of self established tasks
2. creating confidence and capacity in self
3. generating love and kindness for self
4. taking healthy care of self
5. making effort, living meaningfully, having a BIG WHY

Focus on my BIG WHY
live meaningfully
keep busy
make hard and dedicated effort
dont slack, look forward to each day, keep myself busy, keep learning, keep trying, keep developing, keep improving, keep recognizing achievements, be grateful, laugh, be happy.

« Last Edit: December 13, 2018, 07:50:41 PM by TakeActionNow »
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Re: My Turn to Start 10 July 2017
« Reply #767 on: January 22, 2019, 09:17:30 AM »
https://forum.schizophrenia.com/t/psychosis-and-masturbation/3288

An awesome reply within this chain.
I reprint the best reply here :


22 . . . both mind and body were enfeebled through the habit of self-abuse. (Testimonies for the Church, Volume 5, p. 91)

The effect of zinc deficiency has particularly profound effects on the male, because extraordinary amounts of zinc are found in the testicles and the prostate gland. . . . The amount of zinc in semen is such that one ejaculation may get rid of all the zinc that can be absorbed from the intestines in one day. . . . In humans, among the most consistent effects of zinc deficiency are changes in mood and behavior. There is depression, extreme irritability, apathy and even in some circumstances, behavior which looks like schizophrenia. . . . It is even possible, given the importance of zinc for the brain, that 19th-century moralists were correct when they said that repeated masturbation could make one mad! Similarly, the high livers were also correct when they said that a diet rich in oysters was necessary to compensate for excessive sexual indulgence. [Oysters supply a high level of zinc]. (David Horrobin, M.D., Ph.D. [Oxford University], Zinc (St. Albans, Vt.: Vitabooks, Inc., 1981), p. 8).

We hate to say it but in a zinc-deficient adolescent, sexual excitement and excessive masturbation might precipitate insanity. (Carl Pfeiffer, Ph.D., M.D. [Harvard University], Zinc and other Micro-Nutrients, (New Canaan, CT: Keats Publishing, Inc., 1978), p. 45).

drlwilson.com/ARTICLES/MASTURBATION .htm

truthorfables.net/zinc_brain 1 .htm

truthorfables.net/zinc_diseases .htm

Achieving an orgasm is one of the most pleasurable feelings we experience in our lifetime. For that reason, many men either pursue frequent sexual encounters or masturbate often in lieu of sexual activity. However, an orgasm is a very intense, physiological process that, if done in excess, can lead to sexual exhaustion.

Physiological Changes

Sexual exhaustion is a byproduct of excessive masturbation and ejaculation. Exhaustion will cause your concentration to fade. Your memory will follow suit, and even your libido will start to dissipate. Your once voracious desire for sex will be nonexistent, while your once rock-hard erections will remain flaccid or weak during sex.

The problem for most sexually exhausted individuals is simple: masturbation and sex have ruined their basic human desires. The solution is more complex. Refraining from masturbating will help, but the body’s chemistry has been altered, damaging the nerves and resulting in an imbalance of hormones.

Frequent masturbation and ejaculation stimulate the acetylcholine/parasympathetic nervous functions excessively, resulting in the over-production of sex hormones and neurotransmitters such as acetylcholine, dopamine, and serotonin. As a result, the body’s ability to modulate the hypothalamus and adrenal functions has been diminished. In this state, the body releases excessive fight-or-flight hormones, overworking the adrenal glands and overheating the body causing it to sweat abnormally from the heightened stress.

Hormonal Changes

People who suffer from sexual exhaustion experience a dearth in hormones and neuro-growth factors. A dearth in hormones can cause the following:

Acetylcholine Depletion

Excessive DHT

Dopamine Depletion

HGH Depletion

Excessive Stress Hormones

Low Testosterone

Excessive Prostaglandin E2

Thyroid hormone imbalance

Weak parasympathetic nerves

Poor liver function and immunity

In order to combat the unbalanced hormones and neuro-growth factors, males can take all-natural supplements to properly balance and cleanse the body. For example Herbal Remedy contains adaptogenic herbs, such as Alisma Plantago, Ginkgo Biloba, and Siberian Ginseng, which balance the impairments produced by chronic stress without interfering with the valuable short-term stress responses.

The benefits of adaptogenic herbs include:

Exerting system-wide protective and restorative effects

Lowering the presence of cortisol, a stress hormone that can ruin a man’s erection

Increasing the efficiency of oxygen utilization

Modulating stress responses and enhancing immunity

Combating aging cognitive functions

High Cortisol Level

The liver is tasked with detoxifying and producing biochemicals necessary for the body. When too many biochemicals are produced, such as in the case of too much sex, the liver impedes the production of key chemicals that transmit nerve impulses that ensure healthy blood flow. Likewise, the adrenal glands and testes stop producing chemicals necessary for testicular function, such as DHEA and testosterone.

Excessive ejaculation depletes the body of essential hormones, nutrients, while increasing metabolite byproducts and stress hormones, such as cortisol. Short-term bursts of cortisol are necessary to help the body recover from the effects of stress and to boost sugar levels for immediate energy levels. However, when an individual produces too much cortisol, the body begins to pull calcium from the bones, reduces the response to pain, alters moods, and lowers immunity.

If over-masturbation or over-ejaculation persists, the stress hormone will remain high and continue to have insidious repercussions on the body. You need to take herbal remdy to recover from sexual exhaustion & dysfunction. The body needs a respite from the cycle of abuse as well as a proactive regiment of supplements to full recovery.

Long distance runners understand the damage muscles endure during an arduous run. The body expends much of its energy feeding the lungs and leg muscles to propel the runner forward. When the runner stops, the body continues to expend energy, but instead of using energy to power the muscles, the body uses energy to heal itself. Now think of your libido as a muscle. Over use the muscle and it will tear. Once torn, the muscle will need time to recover and heal itself.

Growth Potential Stunted?

Sexual exhaustion caused by over masturbation or ejaculation over produces Cortisol, a stress hormone that controls blood pressure, glucose in the blood, and inflammatory immune system responses. When overproduced, the hormone ruins your hormonal system. Prolonged Cortisol elevations and hormone imbalances result in the suppression of the immune system, elevation of blood sugar, loss of bone calcium, poor cognitive functioning, and lack of ejaculation control.

Alleviate the Following Problems:

Adrenal fatigue and persistent tiredness

Performance anxiety and nervous attacks

Receding hair line and hair loss

Lower back pain, headache, and unexplainable discomforts

Unable to hold ejaculation or erection longer than 20 minutes

Sleep disturbance and insomnia

Buzzing ear and blurred vision

Watery semen

Excessive masturbation or intercourse does more than just relieve stress. Excessive indulgence can increase immune responses, leaving a person more prone to expereince pain, sickness, and diseases. Severe Cortisol damage can cause symptoms similar to chronic steroid therapy, including: increased irritation, low sex drive, and difficulty concentrating or remembering.

Maybe helpful for: Men’s Over Masturbation Causes: SSRI DHEA depletion DHT HGH depletion dopamine depletion serotonin depletion Symptoms: low sperm count chronic fatigue buzzing ear eye floaters headache lower back pain sleep disorder thinning hair.

[SSRIs, known as selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors, increase serotonin levels to help fight against depression, anxiety, and personality disorders. While most men and women who consume SSRIs live happy, productive lives, the drugs tend to cause some unwanted side effects that include premature ejaculation and male impotence.

SSRIs can shut down the brain or weaken the parasympathetic link to the testicles, prostate, and ■■■■■. SSRIs also can overload the liver’s P450 detoxification system that result in less NO synthase and guanylate cyclase, which can lead to impotence and premature ejaculation. Men looking to combat depression or anxiety without the unwanted side effects should try all-natural solutions to help them improve their minds.]

Back pain or discomfort

O.M. reduces the production of oxytocin, DHEA, testosterone and DHT. The depletion of these neurochemicals triggers a release of the inflammatory hormone prostaglandin E2, which is one source for lower-back pain.

Eye floaters and fuzzy vision

Blurry vision or dark spots that cloud your eye sight are caused by a deficiency of cGMP, nitric oxide and acetylcholine in the visual sensory nerves. These deficiencies are intensified by excessive masturbation.

Chronic Fatigue

Cortisol, a steroid hormone meant to increase blood sugar and metabolism, experiences an increase in production after masturbation. Proliferation of the hormone causes an invariable feeling of exhaustion.

Groin discomfort and Testicular pain

O.M. exhausts the pituitary-adrenal-testicular axis, which lowers oxytocin, DHEA, testosterone and DHT production. Once these neurochemicals experience a reduction, the inflammatory hormone prostaglandin E2 creates pain near the groin and testicles.

Premature ejaculation

O.M. depletes HGH, testosterone, dopamine and serotonin, neurochemicals that strengthen both the endocrine system and parasympathetic nerves inside your body. Without these neurochemicals, the parasympathetic nerves that control an erection become weak, resulting in premature ejaculation.

Prostatitis

Known as prostate inflammation, Prostatitis enlarges the prostate and impedes urinary flow and erectile capacity. Masturbation elevates DHT in the body. When too much DHT is present, the neurochemical inflames the prostate.

Insomnia

Melatonin is a neurochemical that induces sleep. Men who masturbate in excess see a depletion in melatonin that leads to insomnia.

Stress and mood swings

Cortisol elevates blood sugar to help manage stress. Except O.M. increases the production of cortisol to such high levels that it causes more stress. Meanwhile, low testosterone levels caused by O.M. results in mood swings.

Thinning hair

O.M. leads to excessive testosterone-DHT conversion. In response to the imbalance, the body produces cortisol, which induces high levels of prolactin and reduces DHEA, HGH and testosterone production. The sudden shift in neurochemicals causes hair loss.

Says a 19th century moralist:

Sins and crimes, and the violation of nature’s laws, were shown me as the causes of this accumulation of human woe and suffering. I saw such degradation and vile practices, such defiance of God, and I heard such words of blasphemy, that my soul sickened. From what was shown me, a large share of the youth now living are worthless. Corrupt habits are wasting their energies, and bringing upon them loathsome and complicated diseases. Unsuspecting parents will try the skill of one physician after another, who prescribes drugs, when they generally know the real cause of the failing health, but for fear of offending and losing their fees, they keep silent, when as faithful physicians they should expose the real cause. Their drugs only add a second great burden for abused nature to struggle against, which often breaks down in her efforts and the victim dies. And the friends look upon the death as a mysterious dispensation of providence, when the most mysterious part of the matter is, that nature bore up as long as she did against her violated laws. Health, reason, and life, were sacrificed to depraved lusts.

"I have been shown that children who practice self-indulgence previous to puberty, or the period of merging into manhood and womanhood, must pay the penalty of nature’s violated laws at that critical period.

“Many sink into an early grave, while others have sufficient force of constitution to pass this ordeal. If the practice is continued from the ages of fifteen and upward, nature will protest against the abuse she has suffered, and continues to suffer, and will make them pay the penalty for the transgression of her laws, especially from the ages of thirty to forty-five, by numerous pains in the system, and various diseases, such as affection of the liver and lungs, neuralgia, rheumatism, affection of the spine, diseased kidneys, and cancerous humors. Some of nature’s fine machinery gives way, leaving a heavier task for the remaining to perform, which disorders nature’s fine arrangement, and there is often a sudden breaking down of the constitution, and death is the result.” An Appeal to Mothers (1864) pgs. 17-18.

What isn’t in the day.
Is no more in the night.
For the shadowy figures shall pass away.
In the coming of the daylight.
Self Worth, Self Respect, Self Love
Purpose before Person

negativity > depression > ACTION > non-self pity > Goals > growth > STRENGTH > REALITY > Attention > Interests > Challenge > Choice > COURAGE > I LOVE MYSELF > Masculinity > UnBlock > selfheal

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Reboot is a long and steady process towards Recognition & Replacement
« Reply #768 on: February 27, 2019, 01:49:47 PM »
Reboot is a long and steady process towards Recognition & Replacement

Why do I PMO ?
It was an unknowing learned effort to love myself

When I recognized that I was trying to love myself better, i began to identify and apply replacements to PMO.

What are the replacements?
> Identify things and activities that bring me happiness and joy, not pleasure.

There is a difference:

Pleasure is immediate, purchased, discrete, intense experience with little effort.
Eg. eating a purchased ice cream
It is brief with no long term benefits and experienced only by myself

Joy is a long term sustained emotional feel good, usually through personal effort
eg. cooking for family, tending to garden,
It is enduring with many people enjoying the benefits

Happiness is a good feeling, usually generated from achievement or gratitude.
eg. completing task, learning something new, doing things together with people.
It is a hightened form of joy

===

So i come to realize :
i PMO because i have a low self esteem
i PMO because i did not know or apply better forms of self love and care

instead of looking at stopping PMO, I redirected my attention to do things that :
1. improve me
2. beneficial to others
3. give me pride and esteem

Over time, my eyes cleared :
1. instead of the narrow focus of lust induced self centeredness, i started to see my accomplishments and happiness
2. i started to experience gratitude and become happier with what i have
3. i am motivated to be generous and kind towards others and myself.
4. i feel more love and kindess towards others and myself
5. i feel happier more and most of the time.
6. i began to take better care of myself.
7. i have more options now to fall back on when i am not feeling good
8. i start to do more longer terms things to better take care of my future self
9. i take time to plan and set aside self care and happiness time
10. i conscientiously make a choice not to come into contact with PMO material because i know contact is a slippery slope

Replacement and Recognition is good for me
Pride is good for overcoming low self esteem
Green book was the movie that made me recognize the importance of self pride
Studying and gaining knowledge and insight made me happy and feel achievement
morning gratitude recognition makes me feel happy and blessed with everything i have

PMO is bad because it emphasize what i dont have. not wonder i had low self esteem !
imagine everyday dreaming of desire but ignoring what i already have. So much suffering !!!

so no more of that nonsense
with eyes clearer now i can see where i need to focus on to give me more happiness and achievement for today me and future me and my loved ones.

So much more joy !!!

Perhaps this is what Lyon03 is feeling now.
I hope so too, because I am so much more happier now :)
Self Worth, Self Respect, Self Love
Purpose before Person

negativity > depression > ACTION > non-self pity > Goals > growth > STRENGTH > REALITY > Attention > Interests > Challenge > Choice > COURAGE > I LOVE MYSELF > Masculinity > UnBlock > selfheal

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Re: My Turn to Start 10 July 2017
« Reply #769 on: March 01, 2019, 12:38:48 AM »
Recognize that PMO is dependency
. Dependence on external to make one feel good.
. Dependence on external to have self esteem.
. Dependence on external to have self attention.
. Dependence on external to have activity.

Moving away from external dependence is
. Moving into internal dependence
. Moving into alternative activities

Self direct love and attention
Self care
Self growth
Self heal

That is all.
« Last Edit: March 01, 2019, 12:42:56 AM by TakeActionNow »
Self Worth, Self Respect, Self Love
Purpose before Person

negativity > depression > ACTION > non-self pity > Goals > growth > STRENGTH > REALITY > Attention > Interests > Challenge > Choice > COURAGE > I LOVE MYSELF > Masculinity > UnBlock > selfheal

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The price of PMO
« Reply #770 on: March 05, 2019, 07:50:13 PM »
There is a price for everything and there is a way to measure.

It is a cost benefit analysis.

What i want vs what i get and what i stand to lose.

1. PMO has a very powerful cascading effect
It is habit forming
It creates and intensifies cravings and dependencies
It draws attention towards desires and away from reality
Soon all we care about is meeting needs and ignoring haves.

Its like but more intense than ice cream
Nice at first, then it becomes a daily dessert and next thing you know you're 10kg overweight

2. It carries a huge price but doesnt give you anything
Everything about it is false
From the girls to the relationship to the promised high.
All false.
Do you feel joy after cum? No
Do you feel connected after cum? No
Do you feel happy and complete several days after? No
All mind tricks we play on ourselves.

3. It comes at a big price
Ignoring work
Ignoring loved ones
Ignoring relationship process and development
Ignoring self improvement and success factors


Dont be fooled.
It is all false




Self Worth, Self Respect, Self Love
Purpose before Person

negativity > depression > ACTION > non-self pity > Goals > growth > STRENGTH > REALITY > Attention > Interests > Challenge > Choice > COURAGE > I LOVE MYSELF > Masculinity > UnBlock > selfheal

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Re: My Turn to Start 10 July 2017
« Reply #771 on: April 29, 2019, 02:55:12 PM »
Avengers End Game
Game of thrones, seasson 8 episode 3
Facebook purging of "friends" who no longer feature in my life

There is a common theme, only in end is there a beginning.

But porn and porn addiction is like an everlasting night and nightmare.
It doesn't end, so there is little hope for a new beginning.

It must end, to let life start again.
The past is over. There is nothing to gain if i dont move on.

 
Self Worth, Self Respect, Self Love
Purpose before Person

negativity > depression > ACTION > non-self pity > Goals > growth > STRENGTH > REALITY > Attention > Interests > Challenge > Choice > COURAGE > I LOVE MYSELF > Masculinity > UnBlock > selfheal