Author Topic: Succes finally after 3 years of struggle!  (Read 16557 times)

Blenderhead

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Succes finally after 3 years of struggle!
« on: September 27, 2016, 01:35:15 AM »
Hello guys! (English is not my primary language but I try my best)

I have been rebooting for 3 years and about a month ago I finally started seeing big improvements. I have not watched porn in more than 3 years. I have had severe ED, even with porn 3 years ago. I could not get it up for a whole night when I tried with a woman and I was shocked at that time. I have not really had morning wood either and most mornings my dick has seemed completely dead. I started noticing the problems about 3,5 years ago. My reboot process has been very non-linear and sometimes this made me wonder whether progress was really happening, but yesterday I finally had a breakthrough, I think. I started watching porn when I was 12 and masturbating regularly. At least once per day. This resulted in me never having a girlfriend until my thirties because I was very introverted partly because of porn, but I did not know. I even wondered many times if I was really attracted to women and I felt so weird. I even had the belief that I could never be with a woman. I then made a decision to learn to become good with women about about 3 years ago.It took me 6 months without porn before I finally had sex a couple of times. However, I continued edging after this, also fantasizing, so my progress was slowed down even though I masturbated much less than before this. I then had trouble for many sexual encounters after this in a period of 2 years (failed more than 30 times at least in a row), where I have flatlined most days and where I have only kissed girls and not been able to penetrate. I have had a few blowjobs but mostly only kissing and most times I was not hard. A few times during this reboot time I was hard ... but mostly not!

Now after going hard mode for the first time in 5 months, where I have stopped fantasy and the little edging I had a habit of doing I have finally started waking up with morning wood. It's started to happen almost every day and the morning wood is about 70-90 % and sometimes almost 100 % Mostly the erections fade away quickly for me, but I do not force it. Yesterday then I had sex! And I had a hard penis for 15 minutes straight. I used condom and I had feeling. I did however suffer from extreme PE. So I relaxed and took it slow, but it was really good! Now this morning I woke up with complete morning wood again and feeling like I can easily have sex!

My tips!

1) Don't edge. It will really slow you down. Make it a habit not to touch yourself. Try to only have orgasm with girls if it's possible and go hard mode for some months.
2) Stop fantasizing. Break this habit. Do productive things instead. This has been so difficult for me to break, since I have done this for years but now I am finally learning to live without sexual fantasy. Sex is not about fantasy at all!
3) Take it slow when you have sex. Get to know the women you date beforehand. It will take away the performance anxiety that is a part of it!
4) And stop watching porn obviously! Stop it completely!

The reason why it has taken me 3 years to get to this place is because I have not really had a girlfriend most of the time. I think I could have rebooted in 1 year or maybe 1,5 years if I had had a more clean reboot and a partner to rewire with instead of different girls. I really feel confident that I can have a lot of sex from this day forth! And I am really happy about learning to live fapfree and pornfree! Hopefully this story can inspire! It will probably be my last post, since I really reached a turning point yesterday!

A big thanks to everyone who spreads this information! I could have used it many years ago but I finally broke the habit! :)
« Last Edit: August 20, 2017, 03:28:07 PM by Blenderhead »

GoodLife

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Re: Succes finally after 3 years of struggle!
« Reply #1 on: September 27, 2016, 06:31:43 AM »
Hey Blenderhead,

A great testimony and congrats on your journey and recovery.

I have a lot of respect for those who persist and don't give up.

Your tips are spot on - they are the guidelines I need to follow for success.
I am on this form to learn, to connect, to be inspired and to be motivated so I thank you for that.  Take care.

Quote
My tips!

1) Don't edge. It will really slow you down. Make it a habit not to touch yourself. Try to only have orgasm with girls if it's possible and go hard mode for some months.
2) Stop fantasizing. Break this habit. Do productive things instead. This has been so difficult for me to break, since I have done this for years but now I finally learning to live without sexual fantasy. Sex is not about fantasy at all!
3) Take it slow when you have sex. Get to know the women you date beforehand. It will take away the performance anxiety that is a part of it!
4) And stop watching porn obviously! Stop it completely!


 

tommy_0113

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Re: Succes finally after 3 years of struggle!
« Reply #2 on: September 27, 2016, 10:23:26 AM »
glad you're getting better!

But I have a few questions, how old are you now? Is your diet bad/ok/good? Do you exercise and stay fit?

Blenderhead

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Re: Succes finally after 3 years of struggle!
« Reply #3 on: September 27, 2016, 11:50:04 AM »
glad you're getting better!

But I have a few questions, how old are you now? Is your diet bad/ok/good? Do you exercise and stay fit?

I'm 34. My diet is good and I am fairly muscular and slim. I exercise four times per week. I have normal testosterone levels and blood pressure and no former medical conditions except ED.

I used cordyceps as supplement which is the only thing I could feel would improve my libido. It can be made as tea and I will continue to use it.
« Last Edit: September 27, 2016, 11:54:44 AM by Blenderhead »

screwedup40

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Re: Succes finally after 3 years of struggle!
« Reply #4 on: September 27, 2016, 08:40:34 PM »
Way to stick with it!  Stories like yours give hope to those that go way beyond the 90 day Mark and still don't see much improvement.  Glad you figured it out and are finally getting results.  Congrats!
Been rebooting since May 2015.  A handful of relapses in that time.  Have SLOWLY improved since then.  Finally starting to see some lasting success since summer of 2018.

UsefulJiji

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Re: Succes finally after 3 years of struggle!
« Reply #5 on: September 30, 2016, 08:34:40 AM »
Congrats on your success brother. My advice is to keep working at it, I still see improvements all the time and it's been over 190 days since my last porn.

Blenderhead

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Re: Succes finally after 3 years of struggle!
« Reply #6 on: October 03, 2016, 02:15:36 AM »
I just had sex again and it was working 100 % ... I even had a boner when I slept afterwards that almost hurt in my penis. My erections come now even without touch. Just visual stimulation which is pretty awesome.

I try to orgasm max once per week or less so I do not reenter flatline or dead dick phase.

However, I have woken up with morning erection every day in almost a month now. I really feel cured. My mind is starting to focus on my other problem now, which is premature ejaculation.

 - reboot works!
 - Stop touching your penis
 - go hardmode until you start getting morning erections (which was my sign of getting cured)

Thanks all! :D

My erection are really hard, I have to push down my penis so I won't stand up too much! And it's difficult to pee in the morning ... I love it! Welcome back my friend, penis! :D
« Last Edit: October 03, 2016, 02:18:33 AM by Blenderhead »

Roberto1069

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Re: Succes finally after 3 years of struggle!
« Reply #7 on: October 03, 2016, 08:32:30 PM »
did you have depression and anxiety during flatline?
what makes you stay rebooting for 3 years ?

Blenderhead

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Re: Succes finally after 3 years of struggle!
« Reply #8 on: October 05, 2016, 12:25:40 PM »
I have had doubts many times and argued against the theory because I was afraid no progress was made. So I did experience anxiety. However, I just tried to focus on things in my control, like eating a healthy diet and working out. I also just went on date with girls with the intention of kissing and hanging out and not sex. You can get a lot of joy by kissing and being around people. So even though I could not have sex a long time I have had a lot of experiences. This was I could enjoy the process more and not think about the goal too much.

apollo87

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Re: Succes finally after 3 years of struggle!
« Reply #9 on: October 10, 2016, 07:50:51 AM »
a-m-a-z-i-n-g post!!!! Thank you for this and so happy to hear your success.

I cannot wait to share my story when that day finally comes.
Strength & Honor


F4Add

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Re: Succes finally after 3 years of struggle!
« Reply #10 on: October 10, 2016, 08:30:10 AM »
Hey!
Thanks for your story!
Can you tell me anything about energy and motivation during these 3 years?



Diesel driver

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Re: Succes finally after 3 years of struggle!
« Reply #11 on: October 12, 2016, 04:29:30 PM »
Congratulations! I agree with you about your advice. Edging and fantasizing is really bad and rewiring speeds everything up, though beginners should focus on themselves for the first few months and go hardmode as good as they can.

All the best!

Blenderhead

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Re: Succes finally after 3 years of struggle!
« Reply #12 on: February 28, 2017, 07:48:52 AM »
I just wanted to come with an update.

For these past months I have had sex regularly with different girls. I usually have sex once per week, sometimes less, sometimes more. It has been up and down but mostly I have improved greatly.

I have had erections with sex most of the time and done several positions and also been able to hold erection for far longer and have sex for about 1 hour and more. I have also been able to have sex more than 2 times per night.

I still experience:

- a low sexual energy if I get too many orgasms, so I do not masturbate anymore. It has been more than 8 months since I last masturbated I think.
- I see improvements though and I do not need months to get my sex desire back, it will mostly just take a week or slightly more if I lose it.
- I do not really get turned on when I look at porn pictures. I have not watched porn videos in three years but occationally I have watched nude women nut I do not really get turned on by pictures on a screen anymore. However, when I start having sex, when I kiss and feel a woman I get an erection without touching my dick.
- I have experienced some times where I did not get erection but this is partly psychological due to years of problems.

All in all I have so much succes recently with sex that I think less and less about it. I sometimes lose erection during sex but that is completely normal I have learned. Sometimes the body needs to relax a little before it is ready to go again. Also I sometimes had a soft dick when i start having sex but it gets completely hard later, so it is not a problem. But if I think too much about it then I can block my sexuality mentally in the act.

I still believe my refractory period is slightly longer than normal and that my I often can have sex only one time and not in the morning. This can be a slight disappointment for some women but I am improving more and more.

I would say that my sex life is pretty normal by now. But I want to make it even better. So do not get discouraged. Try hard mode for a while and you can get cured. Just don't touch your dick at all.



« Last Edit: February 28, 2017, 07:51:38 AM by Blenderhead »

screwedup40

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Re: Succes finally after 3 years of struggle!
« Reply #13 on: February 28, 2017, 08:42:51 PM »
This is super encouraging!  Thanks for keeping this thread updated
Been rebooting since May 2015.  A handful of relapses in that time.  Have SLOWLY improved since then.  Finally starting to see some lasting success since summer of 2018.

Blenderhead

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Re: Succes finally after 3 years of struggle!
« Reply #14 on: March 01, 2017, 04:31:27 PM »
Thanks guys. I wish you all the best

Irvin

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Re: Succes finally after 3 years of struggle!
« Reply #15 on: March 27, 2017, 07:02:17 PM »
Im glad for your success bro!

Im in this reboot for 2.5 years now, and im with the same girl as I was when i started it. Moreover  I had previous sexual experience of 2-3 years of constant sex where i had 0 problems, and then for 8 months i was PMOing daily 1-2 times. And then this...
I have almost no progress, never watched P or M-ed for the last 2.5 years, all O-s were from intercourse / bj but erections are still poor whenever i get them.. so articles like yours motivate me a lot, as not many here suffer from this condition for so long.

May you enjoy porn free life xD

believe

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Re: Succes finally after 3 years of struggle!
« Reply #16 on: March 29, 2017, 08:57:12 AM »
Very inspiring post: I think bottom line is always --> Hard mode, NO PMO, NO MO, NO M

Edging can be very harmful even without orgasm.

Thanks for sharing!

sound mind

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Re: Succes finally after 3 years of struggle!
« Reply #17 on: April 25, 2017, 04:14:52 PM »
your overcoming  no pun intended
is awesome to read your perseverance is outstanding
is it possible that your confidence has changed
well done sir take a bow

Blenderhead

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Re: Succes finally after 3 years of struggle!
« Reply #18 on: May 14, 2017, 05:59:06 AM »
Im glad for your success bro!

Im in this reboot for 2.5 years now, and im with the same girl as I was when i started it. Moreover  I had previous sexual experience of 2-3 years of constant sex where i had 0 problems, and then for 8 months i was PMOing daily 1-2 times. And then this...
I have almost no progress, never watched P or M-ed for the last 2.5 years, all O-s were from intercourse / bj but erections are still poor whenever i get them.. so articles like yours motivate me a lot, as not many here suffer from this condition for so long.

May you enjoy porn free life xD

Hey Irvin

That sounds really rough. I also lost my belief in the process several times and started looking for other cures. It's important to focus health, eat healthy and do some running or work out. I also take horny goat weed as a supplement, as I feel like this helps. I also use maca powder sometimes at breakfast. I focus on getting b12, vitamin D and Omega 3 acids as well. So today I am more healthy.

My advise for you is to continue to have sex and cuddle but don't force any erections with your hand. Don't touch your dick during sex. I did that for a long time but now I get erections without touching which is so awesome. Also I don't need her hands on my dick either. I usually get hard from kissing now. Also having a girl masturbating you to get hard really ruins the mood and makes you feel like shit, in my experience.

I saw my first big improvements after three years. And it's really still progressing now. Lately the biggest improvement I have seen is in terms of the refractory period, which is getting much shorter. Now it is possible for me to have sex a couple of times in a row and then I am ready again after a few days or a week. I could have more sex but my experience still is that it is good for me to go 1-2 weeks without sex after orgasm to build up sexual energy. So I do not always O when I have sex. Sometimes I just decide to stop and wait.

I am certain you will see big improvements soon. Just dont touch your dick during sex, and don't O too often.
« Last Edit: May 14, 2017, 06:36:08 AM by Blenderhead »

Blenderhead

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Re: Succes finally after 3 years of struggle!
« Reply #19 on: May 14, 2017, 06:04:55 AM »
Very inspiring post: I think bottom line is always --> Hard mode, NO PMO, NO MO, NO M

Edging can be very harmful even without orgasm.

Thanks for sharing!

Yes. I really feel like going for 6-8 months witout any orgasm was the turning point for me. Getting into the habit of never touching my dick, only when I shower, has been working magic. But the process was so slow that I understand why people lose faith!

Also I feel like my brain has rewired for sex which is totally different! Sometimes in a weak moment I touch my dick If I get horny but I do not get hard. I would probably not get hard either from porn like I used to. But now kissing really turns me on. So when I kiss I get erections. So my advise for people is to not judge their progress in terms of how much they get turned on by using their hands! You really cant test yourself! Maybe when the porn pathways weaken in the brain you stop getting erections from touching and from visuals on a screen. But real sex is different. Sometimes I can't get hard at all before a date ... and Im surprised that I can have sex without problems when I start. I just need to kiss to get into the mood.
« Last Edit: May 14, 2017, 06:37:43 AM by Blenderhead »

Blenderhead

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Re: Succes finally after 3 years of struggle!
« Reply #20 on: May 14, 2017, 06:11:01 AM »
your overcoming  no pun intended
is awesome to read your perseverance is outstanding
is it possible that your confidence has changed
well done sir take a bow

Thanks sir! I have really tried everything and been working out, doing yoga, eating healthy, going out to meet girls. Going to bed with several women, even knowing I would fail and I failed A LOT. But in the end the process really worked for me!

This night I just had the best sex! I lasted for 30 minutes or more. I had sex twice, and my dick was so hard it hurt. Today I feel like I could have sex again - but I will wait until tuesday, when my lady friend will come over.

Im really happy about being cured. It took me 3 years before the turning point came! Now the process is just accelerating quickly. Now I see big improvements in two areas: 1) I last much longer during sex - I can have sex without O'ing. Probably for an hour or more.I used to have premature ejaculation and would even orgasm with a totally soft dick 2) I have a shorter refractory period and my libido is back everyday. I love women and I love life. And I really love having a girlfriend again - although it's not that serious yet. But she is sleeping over a few times each week and loving the sex :)

Ps. I have not watched porn for more than 3,5 years now and I will never go back! I have not masturbated in more than a year, I can't really rememeber the last time. All of my orgasms have been with girls. And the hard mode was really the turning point for me! Without this hard mode period, my libido would never have come back, I think!

So my advise is still.

1) Stop watching porn
2) Stop masturbating if you don't have libido
3) Focus on health, work out and run (maybe supplement with horny goat weed tea and maca powder)
4) Don't do any edging
5) Rewire with sex and do not force any erections during sex. Don't touch yourself. Turn off the lights and just see if you can get erections from kissing and touching. Too much light during sex is just a mood killer :)
6) Don't expect too much from your dick, it's normal it goes soft and comes back again.

In my experience the process from total ED to being normal takes at least a year from hard mode. And in my case it took more than 3 years because I masturbated once per week. I went from total ED, no morning erections, no erections during sex, not being able to have sex at all to my current state. Now I can have sex 3 times in a night and after 1-2 weeks or less I am ready again. I keep my erections during sex in many different positions. After about 30 min I usually need a break and I lose my erection, but it will come back after a break. I think this is normal.

My libido is even stronger today than it was as a teenager! But this is because I kept my libido down by masturbating 1-3 times each day back then! If only I knew how dangerous porn is back then!

Also spend some time going out and talk to girls each week if you are single. This will increase libido gradually. Don't drink too much alcohol, because then you will probably just masturbate when you get back home. The most difficult thing about this proces is changing all those negative habits and thoughts that keep you down.





« Last Edit: May 14, 2017, 06:40:24 AM by Blenderhead »

screwedup40

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Re: Succes finally after 3 years of struggle!
« Reply #21 on: May 14, 2017, 09:42:46 PM »
Very inspiring update!  You are really a trailblazer for those of us that are taking way longer then the 90 days.  Thanks for coming back and posting your successes.  I'm using them as motivation since I've lost faith in this process multiple times.
Been rebooting since May 2015.  A handful of relapses in that time.  Have SLOWLY improved since then.  Finally starting to see some lasting success since summer of 2018.

jyjjyj

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Re: Succes finally after 3 years of struggle!
« Reply #22 on: May 17, 2017, 09:10:06 PM »
your post is very very inspiring me !! thank for sharing your honest experiences.

we need your help. please keep sharing your experineces.

so, I have a question

could you tell me detaily how to overcome PE.

do you know KAREZZA? what is your opinion about KAREZZA?

 


lyon

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Re: Succes finally after 3 years of struggle!
« Reply #23 on: May 21, 2017, 03:09:39 PM »
I also have not watched porn in 3 years. For most of this recovery period I had steady sex. But after getting erections back, the sensation and erection size has only been 85%-90% of what they were pre-PIED. I suspected this was due to edging and fantasy, both of which I recently stopped. Thanks for your story, it really confirms how MO, edging and fantasy can affect the process, even after a long time PMO-free.

Gracie

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Re: Succes finally after 3 years of struggle!
« Reply #24 on: May 21, 2017, 10:32:18 PM »
your post is very very inspiring me !! thank for sharing your honest experiences.

we need your help. please keep sharing your experineces.

so, I have a question

could you tell me detaily how to overcome PE.

do you know KAREZZA? what is your opinion about KAREZZA?

Kareeza is an excellent way to have touching that helps you connect.  It helped us a lot as my husband recovered!