Author Topic: About sex  (Read 1093 times)

xarxax

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About sex
« on: September 05, 2016, 10:05:48 PM »
Hello!

I'm a newbie here, so sorry if I'm repeating a topic, not much of a forum guy, but it's never too late to start something

I want to achieve a reboot, I have trouble feeling arousal while having sex with a partner, having resulted in some failed relationships, frustration, self-disappointment, and overall apathy for life. It's not how living is meant to be.

About a week ago I managed to get aroused with a partner for a bit(after a lot of cuddling and caressing) and enjoyed making love (not for a long time, but I didn't get any porn images into my brain so I think I'm improving). I even managed to ejaculate (more because of the moves of the girl than my own).

The O in PMO stands for orgasm, but I think it's okay to ejaculate/orgasm if you are managing to do it when having sex with a partner, as it's what you're looking for in the end...

I know I'm not close to recover yet.

So the question is, are you guys attempting to have sex while rebooting? Do you think it's good for the reboot itself?

Si

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Re: About sex
« Reply #1 on: September 06, 2016, 03:11:38 AM »
I've been rebooting with a partner from 1 month into reboot. It's rewarding at times when you have amazing sex, and it's easier to notice progression (I.e. my sex ability and erections are constantly improving, and it's because I'm in a relationship I can recognise the improvements). What is difficult is that I'm still going in to a flat line type state after having frequent episodes of sex (few days worth)... This is horrible. To the point where after sex doesn't work I feel I'd be better off not living. It puts a strain on my relationship big style... Not because my GF isn't supportive, but it makes me feel like a worthless piece of unlovable shit and I hate my self. It's a temporary depression which dilutes as I reflect and my mojo returns, but my lord it's a terrible experience. Lowest point of my life over and over again.

In answer to your question, rebooting with sex can be useful and rewarding, but make sure you can handle the emotional bullshit and perceived back tracking which may come with it.

I'm still looking for more answers on whether orgasm through sex is damaging to reboot speed. The general vibe I'm getting is that it won't hinder progress as we are rewiring to real sex, which is good. But it may drop your libido occasionally if you do too much too soon.

Again, these are opinions, everyone is different.

xarxax

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Re: About sex
« Reply #2 on: September 06, 2016, 08:39:03 AM »
Thank you for your advice andyjee, it's helpful to see I am not the only one with these doubts

Absolutely get what you mean there, when you feel like you failed, you don't feel like you just failed yourself, you also feel like you failed your partner,  you are scared you are harming her self steem... Only solution is to talk about it in m case.
Also you shouldn't worry too hard about it, when you have sex it's more about the romantic situation and feeling like there is someone that likes you sexually, you are not looking for the orgasm itself, most of people want to have sex for the feelings it involve, so there is no reason to feel down when not managing to achieve penetration, what you both want is to have an intimate romantic moment.

TLDR: Most sex is had for the feelings it evokes, so even if you don't have penetration you can do other stuff or just have some romantic caressing in bed, it's a way to satisfy your partner regardless

Reboot_Dude

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Re: About sex
« Reply #3 on: September 06, 2016, 02:30:25 PM »
If you're able to have and complete sex, it can only be a good thing in my opinion. You're doing the natural, 'normal' thing that your body and brain should be attuned to so keep at it! Just keep your dick in your pants when your partner isn't around!

This isn't an exact science and if like andyjee says, you experience flatlines, maybe slow things down a bit. Some things can only be determined by the individual in question. As a single man with no genuine way to test myself, your problem is one I envy!