**An account of a successful reboot from a 20 yr PMO'er**

Rebooting101

New Member
Hi everyone. First off I want to thank everyone has has provided input into this site. To me it was invaluable. I am now 45 which some of you will consider ancient Lol. However I believe that my story and experiences will help most of you benefit!

Unfortunately I was one of the early adopters of the internet (age 21 then), and at that time was introduced to usernet groups. There I discovered porn. No idea that it was a bad thing for me at that time. Over the years I consistently spent far too much time on the computer viewing porn. Later graduated from dial up to DSL to cable. Over that time no one would have any idea of what I was doing. Constantly making excuses for being on the computer, clearing my cache, experiencing brain fog, etc.

Initially the only effect I noticed with intense viewing is that I could keep it up for an extremely long time with no effort at all. Then around age 40 I began to experience difficulties getting it hard enough, for long enough, etc. During this time frame I also developed what's called restless leg syndrome. This is thought to be caused by low dopamine levels in the brain. This is what initially pointed me to this site. I googled "porn addiction and restless leg (RLS)". Then spent the next several months reading everything I could find. It was after that, that I realized I had an addiction. Isn't that what they say that the addict is the last to acknowledge it??

Anyway, I went to a naturopath and MD to get all kinds of tests done. Neurotransmitter levels, CT scans on head etc. Neurotransmitter levels were low (but due to lack of sleep by RLS may be easily explained). I then decided at that point the frustration with the RLS limiting my sleep that I had to stop porn. That day was almost 2 years ago. I quite cold turkey. Sure I had some cravings in the first month or two, however for me the pain and frustration of how the porn affected me kept me from straying. I have never been to a porn site since (no desire). I will watch nudity if it's part of a tv show or movie, but not a porno. I have no desire as I just weight the effects I've experienced.

I quit exactly 23 months ago. When I first quit I went trough an extremely long flat-line period of 1 year and 9 months before I experienced a morning erection. I honestly thought I broke it!
I PMO'd for almost 2 decades! Even though I almost always had a a partner, due to the lengthy time period I really messed up my brain's circuitry!!

During the flat-line period I tried massaging my privates as suggested on this site, etc. To no avail. Finally I decided to focus the feeling and thought process of being intimate and in the moment when with my partner, and visualizing successful intercourse. This helped a bit. You can google sex therapists who can help with this. This did help a bit, however I could not ejaculate with a woman. It had been years and years..

Finally I found on the PMO site a suggestion of buying Vitamin E cream and applying it to my penis in hopes of increasing the sensitization. I figured that with using death grip and masterbating super quickly all those years desensitized me. I felt that my flat-line had gone on for long enough and some people on this site suggested trying to coax it after a long time. So I starting applying Vit E cream to my penis (tip and just below) for a couple weeks on a daily basis.

A funny happened the next time I had intercourse. I was super sensitive I almost exploded by just entering her. I did have to focus on the enjoyment and action and disregard the anxiety that this situation can cause. It took a couple attempts that night but I had an honest to goodness orgasm!!
As elated as I was, I was not going to comment on this site without more discernable proof..

That was 2 months ago. Since then I have had morning wood several times, not every day, but I am 45 now so okay with that. I can get it up quickly and easily now. I can go for a long time, but... if I concentrate on enjoying it and not just doing it - be in the moment - I can orgasm. I have now had sex 4 different times over a month, and orgasmed every time! I can also control myself to not to if I want to focus on my parnter more, and orgasm later with her!

I tell my story not to brag, but to provide hope for those who may experience similar difficulties. I believe I am unique here in that I started in my early 20s for almost 20 years. So the brain was sufficiently f*cked up! I had a long flat-line (1 yr 9 mo's), no progress at that time until I tried visualizing, focusing on enjoying it, proactively reduce the anxiety, and started applying vitamin E cream to increase the sensation.

I may still have some relapses which is fine. But, I am not going to buy a pill (never have). it's been 2 months now - no relapses, and I've been able to perform 100% each and every time. I sincerely hope that my story helps some one out there as I appreciated many of the stories that I read during my journey. Sorry for the long post, but I would have appreciated more details when I was here reading.

Good luck to you all!

Cheers!
:)
 
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