Author Topic: What should I tell future girlfriends?  (Read 1808 times)

Stevew

  • Member

  • Offline
  • *****

  • 539
    • View Profile
What should I tell future girlfriends?
« on: August 09, 2016, 10:23:55 PM »
I'm going to university in just over a month... that of course isn't enough time for me to recover ED wise (on Day 1 now). You may say... well do you expect to have sex in the first week? Not saying that's true but my university has a female to male ratio of 3:1 due to the courses they offer. Still... fingers crossed people will generally want to make friends etc have a good time... but if I do find a girl I really fancy who seems nice (my type) we start dating... a week goes by in our 'relationship'... she brings up sex... what do I say?

Some of my ideas:
- I'm on a sleeping tablet which messes with my sexual function (which is partly true it did seem to reduce my morning wood... SRI's are known to do that). I do plan to come off them as my addiction improves... my sleeping got better through abstaining before).

- I went through a difficult period... relied on porn... turns out you can get addicted and it has killed my dick for the time being (all true).

- Tell her she is my first female relationship... i like to take things slow (... which may be 2 months before my erections come back... before it took 3 months so -1 month i have left to abstain).


I'd like to think I'm a good judge of character... but hey find the wrong girl and 30+ girls could end up finding out Steve has a dead dick... i have heard some girls like to talk about stuff like that.
17th August started
- Day 30 - 15th of september

Reboot_Dude

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ***

  • 163
    • View Profile
Re: What should I tell future girlfriends?
« Reply #1 on: August 10, 2016, 01:05:11 AM »
If she is a 'nice girl', just be honest, if she likes you she'll be happy to take it easy and not be in a rush. Uni isn't just a week long though, if you don't feel your body has made changes, just wait until you feel you've improved before you start chasing girls, plenty of time for that!

aquarius25

  • Member

  • Offline
  • *****

  • 1023
    • View Profile
Re: What should I tell future girlfriends?
« Reply #2 on: August 10, 2016, 08:47:43 AM »
This is just my take on it and I am a girl, lol. I would be honest but not too serious about it. Not make it an emotional big deal just explain how you are working through something. That you were looking at P way too much and it just isn't good for you. Explain how you are working on being with people over that crap and that she is much more enjoyable anyway. Say it may have had an effect on how you preform but reassure her that it won't be a problem because there are plenty things you can do to make her fully satisfied and that would be satisfying for you too. I wouldn't even bring it up unless it comes up naturally in conversation. Just spend time hanging out and having fun. It should be light, fun and not serious in the beginning of getting to know someone anyway, right? Drama free! If she creates that crap or pushes you at all, loose her. That is nothing but trouble. As a woman I think that is a completely honest and non creepy way to go about it. Honesty is respectable and drama free and fun is too. Much more attractive qualities!
Good luck!

Stevew

  • Member

  • Offline
  • *****

  • 539
    • View Profile
Re: What should I tell future girlfriends?
« Reply #3 on: August 10, 2016, 11:43:04 AM »
Thanks a lot for the replies guys. @aquarius its great to have a female perspective on it. I will say it lightly in a non serious manner then because i see whayt you mean... if i made it out as some kind of serious terminal health problem it would likely freak her out.

Thing is with ''there are plenty things you can do to make her fully satisfied''... i mean I personally would not want to have sex unless i had a proper erection even if i wasn't going to do penetration just because I would likely feel very uncomfortable/non manly. If it was something like spooning or just touching her yeah fine but i would never want to take off my boxers without an erection.

Would explaining it to her like this be good: ''I made a mistake of watching too much porn and I have since stopped watching it for a month now, until i stop for a couple more months i wont be able to get a full on erection. (trying not it add in anything to do with erections is hard...). Just to make things more clear I would love to just hang out and do all of that stuff... I'm only concerned about the whole thing when it comes down to her say after a week or more asking if we were going to have sex or if we were hugging and she started.... if i was to say i want to take things slowly... that may piss her off or make her think ''wow he must think im a slut, screw this guy''.

... maybe explaining the sleeping tablet thing may be easier option.. it is partly true and SSRI's are known to cause erection issues. I can say the symptom only last for 3 or so months.
17th August started
- Day 30 - 15th of september

Stevew

  • Member

  • Offline
  • *****

  • 539
    • View Profile
Re: What should I tell future girlfriends?
« Reply #4 on: August 10, 2016, 11:56:56 AM »
@Reboot_Dude Very true. If she is one of those nice/caring types i will likely just be honest... maybe even show her a page about porn addiction (EDIT: ok actually that bit may be weird) and explain how it didn't know what i was getting myself into but am working hard to overcome it. Also with trying to get the nice/good girls... them maybe seeing that i dont try pick up women etc which im guessing is what most guy with a normal sexual brain does... thus think I'm 'mysterious' or not a player... so it may play in my favor. Or they might think im gay... in that case atleast i will get invited to the sleep over parties... then again that is like high school girl stuff. Then again this isn't high school with 100 girls in your year.. I guess if i get lucky in the area my accommodation is (there are like 4 different buildings) maybe people will get to know others quite well.
« Last Edit: August 10, 2016, 11:59:16 AM by Stevew »
17th August started
- Day 30 - 15th of september

Stevew

  • Member

  • Offline
  • *****

  • 539
    • View Profile
Re: What should I tell future girlfriends?
« Reply #5 on: August 13, 2016, 09:43:19 PM »
Does anyone else have an opinion on this?
17th August started
- Day 30 - 15th of september

RecoveryJunkie

  • Member

  • Offline
  • ***

  • 111
    • View Profile
Re: What should I tell future girlfriends?
« Reply #6 on: August 17, 2016, 11:15:45 PM »
Honesty is the best policy. Truth is you may even get a nice girl who just can't handle it but that's ok. You are a big boy and you can find someone who is cool with it. I know this is clishé but try not to stress about it. Go out with girls enjoy kissing and holding hands and having fun. Do this and you may find your woody is ready to rock before you even expected. That's my take anyways, and that is what I'm doing at the moment. I had a gf I. My early reboot and after 3 months she broke up with me. Shitty buzz for a few weeks but you know what? Life goes on... Now I'm just trying to have fun dating different types of women until the right one comes along. No worries, life is too short for that shit. None of that shit like girls talking about it really matters anyways bud. Don't let this or other people define you. Be a real man... And by a real man I mean just be honest about everything, even the Ed, if it even comes up. (OMG that's bad pun
RJ

lumosmaxima

  • Member

  • Offline
  • *

  • 48
    • View Profile
Re: What should I tell future girlfriends?
« Reply #7 on: August 18, 2016, 01:56:32 PM »
imho i dont think that you are in a position to expect these things. its quite normal that people dont have sex the first week they meet. i think in case you do meet a girl you should take things slowly and let her know that you want to date a bit before sex. this way you will buy yourself some time but also connect more to hear and thus securing more symapthy and support in case of eventual ED problems.