AlexHenderson
New Member
I still need to work on avoid images that are erotic, but I do not masturbate to them nor have I watched any porn in the past 30 days. I read the stuff about withdrawals and other issues and I thought "nah, that won't happen to me that seems exaggerated." It isn't, it's true and it is very difficult.
The downside I am still working on which is I do masturbate, but I don't do it to porn. I do it to images and memories plus imagination. The downside is I need to space it out better. Usually it is a few days inbetween and when I slip it is more frequent. I am working on making it more infrequent.
The upside, I am not completely hard, but definitely not flaccid. I am doing a lot better. I can tell because I am a grower not a shower and although not hard I am definitely far from flaccid and that is better than I normally have been in a long time. So I feel happy about the improvements.
I know I need to do more and I am working on that, but it gives me hope for light at the end of the tunnel. I first started watching porn when I would house sit for a friend that had a satellite and access to unscrambled porn when I was 13. My parents really didn't teach me much about sex and so I watched porn at an early age. I realize now that is probably related to me being young and not being able to orgasm with a partner and even as the years passed I have never climaxed vaginally. I feel that once I get a handle on this at my age (46) I should be able to maintain a better erection and will have the ability to climax more readily with my partner.
Also another positive thing. With porn I would stroke myself for a significant time, sometimes an hour plus before I would climax. My masturbation as of now without porn is about 10 to 15 minutes. That is significant improvement. A small victory, but one I would take.
Interestingly enough I had seen a therapist years ago and she may not have understood my relationship with porn or I did not explain it well enough. She suggested watching porn with my partner to help with sex. In retrospect that was probably more damaging than helpful. I saw another therapist specifically for this issue and she did not have good training in it and just encouraged me to to watch less and checked in on me. I don't think the guidance I got was helpful so eventually I left her. I was trying to find a new therapist (find one I want, near me, available is harder than it looks) to help with this when I saw the episode on Chelsea, and I found this site after watching it.
It is good to hear other people's stories. I hope this partial success will help encourage others.
The downside I am still working on which is I do masturbate, but I don't do it to porn. I do it to images and memories plus imagination. The downside is I need to space it out better. Usually it is a few days inbetween and when I slip it is more frequent. I am working on making it more infrequent.
The upside, I am not completely hard, but definitely not flaccid. I am doing a lot better. I can tell because I am a grower not a shower and although not hard I am definitely far from flaccid and that is better than I normally have been in a long time. So I feel happy about the improvements.
I know I need to do more and I am working on that, but it gives me hope for light at the end of the tunnel. I first started watching porn when I would house sit for a friend that had a satellite and access to unscrambled porn when I was 13. My parents really didn't teach me much about sex and so I watched porn at an early age. I realize now that is probably related to me being young and not being able to orgasm with a partner and even as the years passed I have never climaxed vaginally. I feel that once I get a handle on this at my age (46) I should be able to maintain a better erection and will have the ability to climax more readily with my partner.
Also another positive thing. With porn I would stroke myself for a significant time, sometimes an hour plus before I would climax. My masturbation as of now without porn is about 10 to 15 minutes. That is significant improvement. A small victory, but one I would take.
Interestingly enough I had seen a therapist years ago and she may not have understood my relationship with porn or I did not explain it well enough. She suggested watching porn with my partner to help with sex. In retrospect that was probably more damaging than helpful. I saw another therapist specifically for this issue and she did not have good training in it and just encouraged me to to watch less and checked in on me. I don't think the guidance I got was helpful so eventually I left her. I was trying to find a new therapist (find one I want, near me, available is harder than it looks) to help with this when I saw the episode on Chelsea, and I found this site after watching it.
It is good to hear other people's stories. I hope this partial success will help encourage others.
