Author Topic: Age 37 - Second go at quitting. Wish me luck  (Read 514 times)

sadhanapada81

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Age 37 - Second go at quitting. Wish me luck
« on: May 19, 2019, 03:09:33 PM »
Hello friends,

At age 37, I have tried quitting over last few years. Finally decided to give it one more try quit. The spiritual path I am on, requires me going back to my base nature. And this addiction and artificial over-stimulation is certainly a hinderance. And its affecting my relationship as well.

So its 10 days without PMO.  Last 2 days have been rough. I do have few questions.

1) I feel the urge to O and stiffness near prostate. Its like its full and needs a release.  If you go pee, it feels a bit better. I did go out and exercise it went away but just wondering if its okay to O without any P or even mental fantasies, just release the valve since its not used to being blocked for so long.

2) Second is sex with my wife. How long should I wait till I try?  30 days?

3) What meditations worked for you?

I do need all your support to keep me on this path.
So far, I have not seen a lot of difference besides a slight surge of energy (you see it when you work out).

Pete McVries

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Re: Age 37 - Second go at quitting. Wish me luck
« Reply #1 on: May 20, 2019, 07:54:17 PM »
Welcome!

1+2) I would advise against masturbation to have a release. There are really absolutely no medical risks. Your body will reabsorb and use the semen or get rid of it via a wet dream. Do you have PIED? Or why won't you have sex with your wife? If you have PIED, maybe you should refrain from porn and masturbation at least for 60 days maybe even longer. Some say, 90 days are necessary but I think, everyone is individual... Listen to your body and if you fail to achieve an erection (in case you have PIED) don't get discouraged and continue rebooting.

Take care!
My Journal

Six months clean and counting...

sadhanapada81

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Re: Age 37 - Second go at quitting. Wish me luck
« Reply #2 on: May 22, 2019, 07:14:12 PM »
So, I have DE. And I have not had the guts to discuss this. And I think my PMO addiction had massively affected our sex life. Since I was not too much into it - PMO was always so much more exciting :(

So I can go for a month without it and my wife should be fine. But I want to eventually move from reboot to rewire.

Today is 14 days without PMO. Long way to go.  Wish me luck guys. 


jithinkraj

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Re: Age 37 - Second go at quitting. Wish me luck
« Reply #3 on: May 23, 2019, 07:41:31 AM »
hi friend. am 34 male married. I also have DE. and i am also rebooting. this is my 22nd day. My testicles have big pain. first 3 weeks are very horrible. and now its getting better.

When ever I feel urge my wife give a hand job for a while then I feel better. the skin in my penis feels very soft now. and when my wife hold it i feel better feeling too. I think we can reboot before 90 days.

thanks.

OrangeSpider

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Re: Age 37 - Second go at quitting. Wish me luck
« Reply #4 on: May 23, 2019, 07:57:24 AM »
Keep holding in there. I would say no to the O, its just gonna be a bridge to the P n M.

sadhanapada81

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Re: Age 37 - Second go at quitting. Wish me luck
« Reply #5 on: May 23, 2019, 11:52:19 PM »
Day 15. Getting rougher.  Dont think anything has changed so far.  Forget flatline, the urges are stronger.  Guess my brain is screaming for dopamine.  Around what time does it get a bit easier :(

Switching to watching TV. This time slot on computer is dangerous lol. 


OrangeSpider

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Re: Age 37 - Second go at quitting. Wish me luck
« Reply #6 on: May 24, 2019, 08:33:31 AM »
I do not know when it gets easier, I havent gone over 30 days in over 20 years (I do know it doesn't get easier before 30 days). Switching to tv seems wise.

MaterDeiOraProNobis

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Re: Age 37 - Second go at quitting. Wish me luck
« Reply #7 on: May 24, 2019, 09:08:29 AM »
Day 15. Getting rougher.  Dont think anything has changed so far.  Forget flatline, the urges are stronger.  Guess my brain is screaming for dopamine.  Around what time does it get a bit easier :(

Switching to watching TV. This time slot on computer is dangerous lol.

Just found the quote button. Yeah bro, maybe you can try to limit your screen time. I always think exercise helps to get that dopamine and having a goal will keep you focused. Maybe you could try to exhaust yourself and get all that energy out - pushups until you absolutely cannot do one more, until your arms are sore as f**k, until you're breathing heavy, keep pushing them until you think you'll die. Hahahah. Then I promise your urges will be lessened.

sadhanapada81

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Re: Age 37 - Second go at quitting. Wish me luck
« Reply #8 on: May 27, 2019, 10:40:49 PM »
18 days PMO free.  Went on a trip with family.  Urges are getting stronger. I saw an attractive girl at a gas station and it made me want to fantasize. I think my brain is screaming for dopamine of ways to reconnect the pathways I have disconnected. I feel the urge to click on a photo of a hot chick while surfing the net. So far I have been able to stop myself.  I also feel a bit depressed that the path is a really tough one.  But I will keep fighting.  Maybe I do need to go exercise tomorrow.  Send positive energy my way guys. Its surely getting tougher.

sadhanapada81

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Re: Age 37 - Second go at quitting. Wish me luck
« Reply #9 on: May 29, 2019, 06:29:06 PM »
20 days PMO free

Tougher. Had some tough things happen at work. Very depressed. And I dont even have PMO to give a boost.  I am just reminding myself that 20 days was tough. I do not want to start all over again.  Attractive women I come across make me want to fantasize about them. I try to let it pass and try to think of something else. I have started to have erotic dreams. I guess my sub-conscious needs a release too. I just dont see any change in me so far from a desire perspective. Urges are still strong. And thats depressing. It is a tough road indeed.

sadhanapada81

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Re: Age 37 - Second go at quitting. Wish me luck
« Reply #10 on: May 30, 2019, 06:51:36 PM »
21 days PMO free

Toughest night yesterday. Was very depressed due to work issues. Could not sleep. Really really wanted to PMO to get some relief. Mind wanted to fantasize badly and I was getting erections just on thoughts. Had to steer my thoughts away. I’m not sure if these urges ever subside. I still prefer PMO over my wife. We have a child who is sleeping with us so we don’t have sex for a while now. This is helping my reboot but eventually I want to rewire. Infinite staying away from PMO is a depressing thought. I’m not seeing any positive effects from reboot journey yet. When will I start seeing it? Send me your positive energy guys. This forum and my journal is the only thing keeping me from relapse.

sadhanapada81

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Re: Age 37 - Second go at quitting. Wish me luck
« Reply #11 on: May 31, 2019, 10:15:20 PM »
22 days PMO free

Well, urge to O is getting intense. It’s like a rush all over the body. Don’t care about P. Just O.
I have no clue how someone can go 90 days. It’s a killer. Taking one day at a time.
Need some energy guys. Send me some stories of you journey. Might need it.

BootLoader

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Re: Age 37 - Second go at quitting. Wish me luck
« Reply #12 on: June 01, 2019, 07:40:36 AM »
The urge to O is temporarily, it will disappear after a period of time when your brain-body start to healing.
Porn turns a man into a scared boy.
"5-5-2016" The day I realized Ι was a PMO addict.

sadhanapada81

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Re: Age 37 - Second go at quitting. Wish me luck
« Reply #13 on: June 01, 2019, 09:11:43 AM »
Thank you BootLoader. I needed to hear that. This helps. I’ll continue to take it one day at a time.

sadhanapada81

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Re: Age 37 - Second go at quitting. Wish me luck
« Reply #14 on: June 03, 2019, 02:21:50 AM »
24 days PMO free

I am horny all the time. Went to the gym and lifted heavy. I do sense a little bit of extra energy boost. But man, still hornier.
Makes me not sleep peacefully. The urge to O right now feels like physical thing more than mental. I am trying to watch my thoughts of fantasies and tell myself, all that is not real. The only thing real is my wife who cares about me. And the fact that all PMO with extreme novelty still made me feel empty and unsatisfied. Its imaginary, fake, illusion. And trying to remind myself. I do feel that stopping the fantasies is key. Without repressing, but watching and then re-calibrating them as unreal and imaginary.  This journey is tough. Way tougher than I expected.


sadhanapada81

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Re: Age 37 - Second go at quitting. Wish me luck
« Reply #15 on: June 03, 2019, 08:45:47 AM »
25 days PMO free.

Horny all the time with urges getting stronger. Is this how it is? Being horny all day and trying to control your urges all day? Is this how the 90 days are? I don’t know, it just seems a hard Mountain to climb and frankly very depressing.  :-\

MindOverModem

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Re: Age 37 - Second go at quitting. Wish me luck
« Reply #16 on: June 03, 2019, 10:14:25 AM »
I wish you strength and luck on that mountain, brother. One way to look at is that you're feeling your natural urges returning. You're supposed to be horny, just not for pixels. I can't say enough good things about meditation. It gives you the ability to watch your thoughts, feelings, and cravings come and go like passing clouds in the sky. I would literally be dead if it weren't for my meditation practice.

BootLoader

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Re: Age 37 - Second go at quitting. Wish me luck
« Reply #17 on: June 03, 2019, 11:42:43 AM »
Keep going and never look back, we are at our late 30's... You have a woman in your life this is a very good thing and a reason for motivation. You can rewire with reality easier than most rebooters.
Porn turns a man into a scared boy.
"5-5-2016" The day I realized Ι was a PMO addict.

sadhanapada81

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Re: Age 37 - Second go at quitting. Wish me luck
« Reply #18 on: June 07, 2019, 10:38:14 PM »
29 Days PMO free (longest ever)

Strong urges to O, not necessarily to P.  I am horny all the time. I want to fantasize about any attractive girl I come across. Not sure if the reboot process is working. I really dont see any changes yet. No flatline, only being horny all the time. This is incredibly difficult. I have been depressed with a lot of work related problems. Its all adding up and I really feel down right now. The fantasizing need, the mental maps, seeing each women as a sex object is sad. I know its sad but not able to change it. Was just hoping it would be a bit different after almost a month being PMO free but dont see not change yet. I am scared to relapse though, which is keeping me sane. But its not an enjoyable phase at all.
« Last Edit: June 07, 2019, 10:43:16 PM by sadhanapada81 »

MindOverModem

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Re: Age 37 - Second go at quitting. Wish me luck
« Reply #19 on: June 08, 2019, 01:34:17 AM »
I wouldn't beat yourself up over feeling constantly horny. 29 days is a major accomplishment, well done!

I'm no expert, but I would say the reboot definitely IS WORKING if you find yourself fantasizing about real women constantly and not P.

P is like junk food. Wanting to eat is not the problem, it's about having a healthy diet.

sadhanapada81

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Re: Age 37 - Second go at quitting. Wish me luck
« Reply #20 on: June 09, 2019, 07:23:52 PM »
31 days PMO free.


Good:
Noticeable surge of energy in gym.
My voice sounds a bit deeper.
Rational decision making has increased power over irrational urges (they are still very powerful though)
Sensitivity has increased.
I feel more attracted to my wife.


Bad:
Not sure of the long term plan. Being horny all the time is neither pleasurable nor sustainable.
The fantasies remain. They are dormant, but still there and hold considerable power.
The PMO to MO to O to just take a peek to at least fantasize in mind to maybe just stroke it.... all ways for dopamine fix.
Alcohol in evening is a very potent trigger. One has to be very very careful.
Depression, stress all makes one crave a dopamine fix higher.
I do not think my hormonal balance has been achieved yet.
The mind maps still exist. Any relapse can make them very active. [/li][/list]

Prayer:
Need to stay strong.
Need to continue to remind myself that P is an illusion, never ending desire pit which is unnatural, escalates unhealthy desires, leaves one empty and unfulfilled. 
And this realization need to pervade all layers of my consciousness and subconsciousness.
The addiction element is very very real. And it has far reaching undesirable effects.
One has to take the sexual energy very seriously and channelize it to heal and stay healthy and long life.
Every O is loss of personal power. Every O is giving away life force.


I pray I continue to have the strength to stay on my path. Wish me luck and send me some positive energy.

« Last Edit: June 09, 2019, 07:31:06 PM by sadhanapada81 »

sadhanapada81

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Re: Age 37 - Second go at quitting. Wish me luck
« Reply #21 on: June 15, 2019, 12:48:31 AM »
36 days PMO free

Strong urges. Attractive woman at work giving me the stiffies. I badly want to fantasize and I did.
Strong rush of dopamine.  Next day I wanted to do it again. All the tricks mind plays to get the dopamine fix. Man, I’m horny all the time. Almost got into trouble today watching a movie which had some risqué scenes. Overall I think I’m flirting with danger. Will need to figure out a way to deal with hornyness. It’s been hard sleeping.  Man this shit is tough. How will I ever go on in the long run with these constant strong urges. I’m feeling sad.

sadhanapada81

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Re: Age 37 - Second go at quitting. Wish me luck
« Reply #22 on: June 17, 2019, 09:46:56 PM »
I almost relapsed yesterday :(
Watched a movie on Netflix which turned out to be explicit. Then searched for similar titles. Then on mobile. No porn. No MO. But good dose of dopamine.

I’m realizing I’m horny all the time because I’m keeping a glimmer of hope in my mind to maybe I’ll go back to PMO in the long run. Or maybe any looking for any opportunity of dopamine rush like a mental fantasy hope every time I see a attractive girl. I’ve realized until the mental fantasizes subside, my mind will try to find ways to get the dopamine fix via other ways beside porn.

Hence today I’m going to try to kill all hope of ever seeing P again. And also kill any mental thought which leads to pleasure circuitry. My mind on P all these years have destroyed it. It’s a hard challenge. But I’m up for it. Send me strength folks.