Author Topic: Not sure where to start  (Read 746 times)

Rookie

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Re: Not sure where to start
« Reply #25 on: March 27, 2019, 06:55:15 PM »
Day 5, today I had a weak moment, at home, alone. Wife is working and only getting home around 945 pm tonight. Before I could get to the computer, I decided to go in town and fuel up (before that stupid Carbon Tax hits next week, and fuel is going up tonight) and delayed coming home till a certain time. Just enough time to do my duties in the house, before she gets home.




workinprogressUK

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    I get knocked down but i get up again
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Re: Not sure where to start
« Reply #26 on: March 28, 2019, 06:57:25 AM »
Great response to that moment of weakness. Congratulations on showing that strength. I remember it from counselling as RUN. Remove yourself from the opportunity to slip. Undistort any thinking that using P could be OK. Never forget the damage P has done to your life. Feeling a bit triggered by boredom myself, hence coming here. I'm going to log-off and head to the gym in a moment. Gotta RUN!

Rookie

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Re: Not sure where to start
« Reply #27 on: April 07, 2019, 05:54:04 PM »
Well, it has been a little while since my last post. Mostly, because I was embarrassed of falling off the band wagon, again. Getting past the first couple of days is HARD!!!
I'm not on the verge of completing day 8 of my latest reboot/streak. I wasn't going to post again, till I got at least 8 days in, now that it's been accomplished...I finally got to post again. Tonight, I have a few things to do, so not much chance, or temptation actually.
This time, wife and I had and awesome session Thursday evening (completely got me by surprise), and the great thing was, absolutely no chaser effect after. Not sure why, and don't really care at this point. Just glad I didn't have one.

Now, a few days since our last episode, my wife had 2 days of manic episodes (very, very bad anxiety) to the point that she was sitting in front of the computer with a blank stare. I asked her what she was doing, and she said she was making a video of our dogs. But she kept clicking on the same button....almost like a few times I saw her vacuuming, with the thing unplugged, and she never realized it. Yeah, when she's zoned out, she's gone. Thankfully, it's only about 5% of the time. But those 5%, are beyond scary.

Back to me, our session Thursday night, seemed to have been better than some sessions in the past.

We're both joining a gym together this week, apparently helps with anxiety, stress and a few other things she's going through. And I have a gut on me, that would be nice to get rid of. I'm almost 300 lbs, but I'm also 6' 4"...so not fat, but I could stand to shave down to 250 lbs...then I would feel better, and hopefully her drive would go up too...

Lots of projects to do around the house, painting, and fixing a few things, her parents confirmed, mid May, they will be down, so I have to make the house "presentable".

With all the stir, work, gym, house improvements, a few other things I'm doing...hopefully get me to a 90 day streak.
« Last Edit: April 07, 2019, 05:56:25 PM by Rookie »

Rookie

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Re: Not sure where to start
« Reply #28 on: April 07, 2019, 06:50:59 PM »
Quick update, I finished giving my wife a back and shoulder massage. Then she laid on me exposing her butt, and wanted a good back rub (While I was in the mood, I didn't want to pressure going further, due to her anxiety). I never got hard...thankfully, but man, the worst case of blue balls since my teens...only this time, I have an 8 day streak going. I have to admit, it would be nice to get some instant relief (if this was all before finding out about this site and YBOP. Now, I know I have the strength to fight it. Walking around in my boxers to try and ease the pressure against the twins and trying an ice pack on my glutes (tail bone treatment)...hopefully it does the same effect as a cold shower.

Either way, for tonight, I'm not giving in, I feel too disappointed the right after...and I have to start that streak again. So tonight, watching cartoons...