Author Topic: Terrible Suffering And Great Victory  (Read 2174 times)

workinprogressUK

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Re: Terrible Suffering And Great Victory
« Reply #50 on: May 14, 2019, 08:14:59 AM »
1) The fall begins as soon as you begin to rationalize in your brain the fall to PMO.  This can be a day or week, or even months before the fall.  Don't ever rationalize a fall to PMO since once you have agreed to it in your thoughts, the fall will soon arrive.  And if you have already rationalized the fall in your thoughts but haven't fallen yet, change your thoughts right now and say "no way, it's not going to happen" and reverse the thought process. 


That's some of the best advice I've read in ages, Rex. Thanks for sharing. Congrats on your continuing success.

Rex

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Re: Terrible Suffering And Great Victory
« Reply #51 on: May 28, 2019, 09:25:57 AM »
1) The fall begins as soon as you begin to rationalize in your brain the fall to PMO.  This can be a day or week, or even months before the fall.  Don't ever rationalize a fall to PMO since once you have agreed to it in your thoughts, the fall will soon arrive.  And if you have already rationalized the fall in your thoughts but haven't fallen yet, change your thoughts right now and say "no way, it's not going to happen" and reverse the thought process. 


That's some of the best advice I've read in ages, Rex. Thanks for sharing. Congrats on your continuing success.

workinprogressUK,

Thanks for the encouragement and kind words!


Day 246 (8 months, 4 days):

Reboot Update: Just in case you were wondering, I don't count the days or even the weeks or months anymore, haven't in a few months.  The new norm is staying clean and on most days I don't even think about how long it has been since I started the reboot to my new life.  Before I post here, I use the handy Days Calculator at timeanddate.com to figure out how long I have been clean and free from PMO.  I am suffering through a lot stuff right now, but its such a big weight off my shoulders and my soul that I no longer am burdened with a PMO addiction.  It's been a lot of work with remaining vigilant and continuing with the daily prayer life.  This reboot I put in God's hands and I achieved success beyond my wildest dreams.  My best past reboot was back in 2017 when I went 28 days, that seemed like I climbed the mountain.  Where I am today at day number 246, is like going to Mars, all possible only through God's grace.

Health Update:  Just like I struggled for years to beat a PMO addiction that I thought was unbeatable, by turning to God it's now a thing of the past, ancient history.  My battle strategy with my terrible Lyme disease and its coinfections is the same, I am putting this battle in God's hands.  I have had this disease for at least the last 10 years and the suffering especially the last year have for many days become so unbearable, I am placing this battle in God's hands.  Even though I have been undergoing treatment the last 7 months with nothing seeming to work (tried so many different treatments and strategies), I feel like I am on a carousel that keeps going around in circles or trapped in a park where I keep going around in circles and none of the paths lead out of the park.  On days when I feel I am finally making progress a few days later I go back 8 months back to ground zero and can't even function with symptoms so bad I encounter suffering so bad it brings me to my knees along with feelings of utter hopelessness.  However no matter how bad those days are God is always there to get me through them. I am 100% confident that God will deliver me from this illness the same way he has freed me from my PMO addiction.


Thoughts of the day:

1) Don't let the temptations or urges scare you, fear is one of the big factors in a fall to PMO.  Do not pay any attention to these temptations or urges just like you ignore a fool who bothers you with nonsense.  Laugh when those temptations seem so hard to resist, this always seems to lessen their sting. 

2) Don't ponder, dwell, or even give any thought concerning the temptations when they hit.  Part of the trickery of the temptations is to get your mind dwelling, pondering, or thinking about them.  When they hit immediately change your thoughts to something else.  For instance think about a hobby like baseball and start thinking or remembering which hitters had the best batting averages, which pitchers had the best ERAs, or what teams went to the World Series the most times.  Or if your hobby is horticulture start thinking about different plants and flowers and where they originated.  Every time the temptations hit you move your thoughts elsewhere, then these temptations can't plant any seeds in your subconscious.

3) Never give up, keep trying.  When you fall get right back on the wagon, don't fall into the PMO marathon that usually follows a fall after a reboot.  Those PMO marathons can last weeks, months, even years before you're able to get back on the wagon for another reboot.  For instance I fell in late-January 2017 after a 28 day reboot, instead of getting back on the wagon I fell into a PMO marathon that lasted until September 2018 when I finally got back on the wagon.  I should have gotten right back on the wagon in late-January 2017. 

4) Just like with any successful 12-step program, the centerpiece is turning to God to help you beat the addiction, it's imperative to put your battle with PMO in God's hands.  He will get this terrible addiction off your back and give you a life you never thought possible.  This is a spiritual battle for your soul.  The chains of the PMO addiction are heavy and strong, but can't stand up to the mighty power of God.

« Last Edit: May 28, 2019, 09:39:07 AM by Rex »
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MosesY

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Re: Terrible Suffering And Great Victory
« Reply #52 on: May 28, 2019, 10:42:20 AM »
You quoted Isaiah 41:10 at some point, I was reading through your journal. That was a real encouragement to me. I found this quote from Oswald Chambers the other day; "There are times when God cannot reveal Himself in any other way than in His majesty, and it is the awesomeness of the vision which brings you to the delight of despair. You experience this joy in hopelessness, realizing that if you are ever to be raised up it must be by the hand of God." I printed these passages and hung them on my desk.

BigMog

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Re: Terrible Suffering And Great Victory
« Reply #53 on: May 31, 2019, 03:27:17 PM »
Hi Rex, Thanks for posting. It's always encouraging to see your progress and read your thoughts. Cheers, BigMog.

Rex

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Re: Terrible Suffering And Great Victory
« Reply #54 on: July 10, 2019, 09:26:12 AM »
BigMog and MosesY,

Thanks for the words of encouragement!  MosesY, thank you for posting the Oswald Chambers quote it is so very true, very profound words there.  I am going to print it these words and put them on my desk too.


Day 289 (9 months, 16 days):

Reboot Update: Sorry for taking so long to post an update, I have continued to remain vigilant and continued the prayer life and I am now about 9 1/2 months clean.  For those going through the tough journey early in the reboot process, I can give you reassurance that it will get easier, much easier the longer you stick with it.  The last two months were the easiest on the reboot. Staying clean almost becomes second nature.  When the temptations hit my first response is to change my thoughts immediately and move on.  Its now my preferred notion to want to stay clean and let nothing get in the way of that.

Health Update: It's been a wild roller coaster ride with many ups and downs but overall I am seeing some improvements and moving in the right direction in my battle with Lyme disease.  Just like my battle to beat PMO, I am placing this healing in God's hands and continuing to move forward.


Thoughts of the day:

1) Don't focus too much on the upcoming weeks, months, or years when on the reboot process.  Just take one day at a time.  The days will then turn into weeks and then months and then years free from PMO. 

2) When the urges hit keep focusing instead on how much better you will feel after you beat the temptation since the urges and temptations will pass.

3) PMO is a selfish addiction where our life is centered around our pleasure and fulfillment of carnal desires.  One way to break the addiction is to do things for others, stop thinking about yourself and help others.  It doesn't have to be anything big, even small things we can do for others helps to break this addiction.   
Rex
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Rex

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Re: Terrible Suffering And Great Victory
« Reply #55 on: August 01, 2019, 04:02:31 PM »
Day 311 (10 months, 8 days):

Reboot Update: I am still remaining vigilant and have continued the prayer life and placing my reboot in God's hands.  I certainly would not be here over 10 months free from PMO if it wasn't for God's help and assistance.  The Rosary has been my sword slashing this addiction, I have been praying 3 Rosaries a day.

Health Update: Been one wild roller coaster ride, but I am slowly getting better and feeling better.  Indeed God is healing me.  Today I am just one step further into my new life.  No matter how bad a day I have healthwise, the chains of my former PMO addiction have been broken, so I am a free man.

Thoughts of the day:

1) We can't win this battle alone.  No matter how hard I tried in the past (for the thirty years I tried to quit), I kept falling back into PMO.  It was only when I decided last year to put this battle into God's hands that I finally was able to start on the path for real victory.  The centerpiece of all 12 step recovery programs is that victory over the addiction requires the assistance of God.

2) The Rosary is the most powerful weapon we have against the addiction of PMO and any other sin and vice.  It's a vice breaker.  Praying 3 Rosaries a day broke the chains of the addiction for me.  During the reboot process if I faltered in saying 3 Rosaries a day and didn't pray any Rosaries I could feel myself slipping where the urges were getting stronger and stronger. When I prayed 3 Rosaries a day the urges got weaker and weaker and it was like I was on auto pilot and not hard to stay on the straight and narrow.   

The Rosary as a Spiritual Weapon:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y1MdrO__5-g

For the full video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dwVdYXyxln0







 
« Last Edit: August 01, 2019, 04:06:59 PM by Rex »
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hope2reboot

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Re: Terrible Suffering And Great Victory
« Reply #56 on: August 06, 2019, 09:24:22 PM »
Congrats Rex, keep doing what you’re doing. So cool about the rosary. I’m not Catholic but definitely believe in the power of prayer, which in my opinion is pretty much what the rosary is. My fiancé is Catholic and I’m Protestant. We’re both very practising of what our Christian beliefs are and respect each other’s belief where we differ. It’s like her uncle said, who is also Catholic, “Jesus is what matters”. Anyways, thanks for writing your journal. Reading other people’s journals is definitely helping me in this battle. I’ve noticed this new drug is not a respecter of persons. So many of us probably disagree on a lot of stuff but I think we all agree that this new drug is not good for us.