Author Topic: "Free January" challenge  (Read 3859 times)

joepanic

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Re: "Free January" challenge
« Reply #75 on: January 09, 2019, 09:47:55 AM »
9 days on the challenge  38 days clean on present reboot   feeling really strong about today   gonna go take on some world

    cheers

     Post often it helped me it will help you

imaquitter

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    I will make it! More determined than ever!
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Re: "Free January" challenge
« Reply #76 on: January 09, 2019, 11:10:41 AM »
Day 9 of January. 11 days in hardmode. I'm not thinking about porn. It feels good. Day 83 clean. January will be a clean month.

We're in this together! :)
First reboot, august 29, 2018 (49d, 3xPMO slip, no binging)
2nd attempt, october 19, 2018 90 days w/o PMO!



HM from 10. feb 19

changemylife

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Re: "Free January" challenge
« Reply #77 on: January 09, 2019, 11:58:34 AM »
Day 0

neuroaddict

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Re: "Free January" challenge
« Reply #78 on: January 09, 2019, 12:42:42 PM »
Keep your head up, man. We fall down 5 times, we get up 6.

Psyc Ops

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Re: "Free January" challenge
« Reply #79 on: January 09, 2019, 02:12:08 PM »
Most people, especially newies, fail multiple times because they do not understand the problem they are seeking a solution for.  Too many think the problem is "porn", and so think the solution is quitting watching porn.  That is too simplistic, and in fact, wrong.  The problem is using porn to achieve a dopamine rush.  It is the dopamine rush that is addictive, not the porn we use to get it.  Gary Wilson figured it out 6 years ago.  Watch this, study this.  It helps.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSF82AwSDiU

chirmtaking

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Re: "Free January" challenge
« Reply #80 on: January 09, 2019, 04:22:02 PM »
Day 8 Hardmode. Have had a cold since Monday, which funnily enough seems to help the challenge as my libido is almost null. Onwards and upwards.

Sentimental_geek

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Re: "Free January" challenge
« Reply #81 on: January 09, 2019, 05:36:35 PM »
So today is day 12 of my reboot.

But it is day one of doing free January, as I've had a week or so of the odd bit of peaking and edging. Felt okay today actually. Not much in the way of urges.

switched_off

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Re: "Free January" challenge
« Reply #82 on: January 09, 2019, 07:20:25 PM »
My January challenge is going well and I'm finding it easy to stay away from all the dopamine micro-dose sources, like Instagram, I had continued to mindlessly browse since quitting porn last September.

My only exposure to mildly provocative images was a viral post on FB for a clothing retailer called Beginning Boutique in Australia,  where all these women were taking the piss out of the skimpiness of the bikinis etc, commenting that their flaps would be blowing in the wind if they were to wear something like that:) It made me laugh and was mildly liberating because I felt a sense of belonging alongside all the normal women of all shapes and sizes, rather than the idealized and supposed perfect image of the model who we are all supposed to lust after or want to be (depending on our gender).

I no longer want to be a slave to these images (and videos), porn or otherwise, which are in no way representative of the vast majority of human beings. OK, my wife is not a twenty-something nymphette that is willing to act like a sex robot and satisfy my every deviant wish. But she is my wife, she knows me better than anyone else and with my brain in normal mode, we are capable of fulfilling each other in a way that porn cannot come near to replacing.

Keep strong everyone, break free from our slavery to porn!!

joepanic

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Re: "Free January" challenge
« Reply #83 on: January 10, 2019, 07:02:34 AM »
Day 10 of Jan Challenge  day 39 of present reboot  up early  and feeling confident  pretty much 1/3 of the way through
   good luck to everyone in there reboots

      Post often it helped me it will help you

Hand Solong

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Re: "Free January" challenge
« Reply #84 on: January 10, 2019, 08:01:40 AM »
Day 10

I'm 10 days in. Hard Mode (I think). I haven't relapsed but I've definitely substituted M'ing myself to death with eating myself to death. Is this happening to anyone else? My cravings for restaurant foods have gone through the roof.

I feel lonely. I feel depressed. I keep telling myself that it's just withdrawal causing me to think those thoughts.

I've never been a drug addict but I did experiment with cocaine a dozen times give or take. I usually acted out when I did experiment.....surprise, surprise! I keep having drug thoughts/cravings and I haven't touched the stuff in over a decade. Thoughts of ways I acted out when I experimented have flooded my consciousness occasionally throughout these past 9 days.

I tried to attend an SA meeting last night but only two others were there and it wrapped up just as I walked in the door (about 10 minutes late). They told me about an SAA meeting tonight that I'm considering attending. I've tried twelve step before but it didn't really work for me. I'm returning to them because I've been feeling strong cravings to just interact with people. It's a little scary because I'm an African American on Long Island (NY) and from what I've experienced so far since moving here in 2013 is that black and white don't really intermingle out here. I'm probably going to have a drink beforehand to find the nerve to go in. I had two drinks last night before going to the SA meeting.

Thanks for reading.

changemylife

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Re: "Free January" challenge
« Reply #85 on: January 10, 2019, 08:14:14 AM »
Day 10

I'm 10 days in. Hard Mode (I think). I haven't relapsed but I've definitely substituted M'ing myself to death with eating myself to death. Is this happening to anyone else? My cravings for restaurant foods have gone through the roof.

I feel lonely. I feel depressed. I keep telling myself that it's just withdrawal causing me to think those thoughts.

I've never been a drug addict but I did experiment with cocaine a dozen times give or take. I usually acted out when I did experiment.....surprise, surprise! I keep having drug thoughts/cravings and I haven't touched the stuff in over a decade. Thoughts of ways I acted out when I experimented have flooded my consciousness occasionally throughout these past 9 days.

I tried to attend an SA meeting last night but only two others were there and it wrapped up just as I walked in the door (about 10 minutes late). They told me about an SAA meeting tonight that I'm considering attending. I've tried twelve step before but it didn't really work for me. I'm returning to them because I've been feeling strong cravings to just interact with people. It's a little scary because I'm an African American on Long Island (NY) and from what I've experienced so far since moving here in 2013 is that black and white don't really intermingle out here. I'm probably going to have a drink beforehand to find the nerve to go in. I had two drinks last night before going to the SA meeting.

Thanks for reading.

Food craving happens to me when my anxiety raises. I am constantly hungry and eating, even late at night. I didn't have this until my breakdown in 2009 and then I had a long period of hunger problems. I used to go out with something in my pocket all the time because if I didn't eat, I felt sick. I am guessing that it happened because of my nervous system wrecked by the breakdown.

What I would like to say is that we must fight not to substitute an addiction for another and also, if we have more than 1 addiction (my case), we must try not to indulge in the other addiction more because now we're staying away from porn. My drinking went through the roof anytime I relapsed because I felt so low and depressed and I tried to use that to elevate myself (which is only kidding yourself cause it doesn't elevate anything. On the contrary, I don't feel the alcohol euphoria cause I'm numbed because of too much PMO). I've relapsed 3 times this month, binged twice (you don't even know how much it pisses me off) but I've been staying away from alcohol despise this which is a good thing. Alcohol will not save me.

Psyc Ops

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Re: "Free January" challenge
« Reply #86 on: January 10, 2019, 09:25:36 AM »
10.  Clear.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FNEJXKTSkYM

Never going back. 

HumbleRich

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Re: "Free January" challenge
« Reply #87 on: January 11, 2019, 03:09:09 AM »
Day 39/90.  Keep it up, guys.

Rich

changemylife

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Re: "Free January" challenge
« Reply #88 on: January 11, 2019, 05:05:04 AM »
Day 2 hard mode. I should've had 11 days, for Christ's sake.

chirmtaking

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Re: "Free January" challenge
« Reply #89 on: January 11, 2019, 05:32:53 AM »
Day 10 hardmode. Weird thing happened to me while having a siesta yesterday afternoon. Almost unconsciously, I found myself masturbating prone against the bed sheets - something I have never done (I've always masturbated supine). I stopped when I realised what was going on, but my mind was flooded with erotic thoughts (interestingly, not porn flashbacks,  but memories of previous real-life sexual encounters), and I had to make a real effort to stop myself MO'ing. Since then, I have a noticed a lot of tension in my groin area - classic blue balls. It feels like then only way to relieve it is to release some semen, but I am hoping it will pass today and I can continue towards 30 days hardmode. Good luck to everyone else.

joepanic

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Re: "Free January" challenge
« Reply #90 on: January 11, 2019, 07:40:23 AM »
day 11  still going strong   day 40 of present reboot

    cheers    post often it helped me it will help you

Psyc Ops

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Re: "Free January" challenge
« Reply #91 on: January 11, 2019, 08:28:34 AM »
11 clear.

Psyc Ops

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Re: "Free January" challenge
« Reply #92 on: January 12, 2019, 06:56:06 AM »
12.  No porn.  Clear.

changemylife

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Re: "Free January" challenge
« Reply #93 on: January 12, 2019, 06:58:30 AM »
3rd day hard mode. I should've had 12 days, maaaan! It's my 12th day without alcohol.

Sentimental_geek

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Re: "Free January" challenge
« Reply #94 on: January 12, 2019, 07:40:00 AM »
Thats my attempted fucked as I just relapsed :-(

changemylife

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Re: "Free January" challenge
« Reply #95 on: January 12, 2019, 07:48:44 AM »
Thats my attempted fucked as I just relapsed :-(

How much did you have, 2 weeks?

joepanic

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Re: "Free January" challenge
« Reply #96 on: January 12, 2019, 09:17:26 AM »
Day 12 in the challenge  keeping 100% clean   also day 41 of my  total reboot  things progressing well  almost half way to the big 90  this is my 3rd attempt  and each one seemed to  become easier I believe from all the reading education and understanding  of what our illness is and how to best fight it  and beat it

      Post often it helped me it will help you

Sentimental_geek

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Re: "Free January" challenge
« Reply #97 on: January 12, 2019, 03:53:57 PM »
Thats my attempted fucked as I just relapsed :-(

How much did you have, 2 weeks?

15 Days but a bit of peeking and the odd bit of edging. 2 days hardmode then a fucking  relapse! Gonna try again. Story of my life

changemylife

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Re: "Free January" challenge
« Reply #98 on: January 12, 2019, 03:59:20 PM »
Thats my attempted fucked as I just relapsed :-(

How much did you have, 2 weeks?

15 Days but a bit of peeking and the odd bit of edging. 2 days hardmode then a fucking  relapse! Gonna try again. Story of my life

Sorry, bro. I've relapsed 3 times this month, in only 12 days, I've binged twice, I know what it's like. Same vicious circle where I'm trapped.

HumbleRich

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Re: "Free January" challenge
« Reply #99 on: January 12, 2019, 06:51:36 PM »
Cut it out, guys.  Clean means NO PORN, or even erotica, and if you are cutting out masturbation then no mb.  You guys who are edging or peeking aren't  rebooting.  You're just building your own demise.  It is time to.get serious.  That means unless there is a real naked woman in your bedroom it is no deal.  Time to get serious.

Rich