Author Topic: A new start (Alea iacta est) 52y  (Read 3829 times)

Totte

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Re: Alea iacta est 52y
« Reply #75 on: May 28, 2018, 02:26:06 PM »
Report Day 40
Day 18 PMO free

Day 21 eating healthy. 3 weeks and 3,3 kilo (7.26 Lbs)

Tom

Totte

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Re: Alea iacta est 52y
« Reply #76 on: May 28, 2018, 09:13:37 PM »
Report Day 41
Day 19 PMO free

Day 22 eating healthy. 3 weeks and 3,3 kilo (7.26 Lbs)

What can I do to look at women and not start to get fantasy of how it would be to be with them?
I guess it’s part of the process well there is no labido but I question in my head!
Before the start I would fantasy of what I do to them (like a predator).
Is this flatline? Not how I was imagining flatline.

Tom
« Last Edit: May 28, 2018, 09:19:06 PM by Tom65 »

Karzam

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Re: Alea iacta est 52y
« Reply #77 on: May 29, 2018, 03:51:24 AM »
Hi Tom,

 I think each person's flatline is different in a way - except that there's a period of having no libido (or at least in general no libido), that seems to be the only unifying factor...

Karzam

Totte

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Re: Alea iacta est 52y
« Reply #78 on: May 29, 2018, 09:48:33 PM »
Report Day 42
Day 20 PMO free

Day 23 eating healthy
I guess I’m in a flatline no morning wood and it’s like dead down there.
Now I need to pray that I don’t do P to check to se if things work.

Thanks Karzam I guess you are right! But it’s scary.

Tom

Totte

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Re: Alea iacta est 52y
« Reply #79 on: June 01, 2018, 10:48:59 PM »
Report Day 45
Day 3 PMO free (slipping)
This no good and now I feel so bad about that I’m at step 1.
All this is bad and I’m so depressed now! I was at 20 days!

Tom
« Last Edit: June 02, 2018, 05:20:22 AM by Tom65 »

Turtle

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Re: Alea iacta est 52y
« Reply #80 on: June 02, 2018, 02:33:00 PM »
  Everyone has setbacks. Ask yourself how it happened, and plan how to prevent a similar failure. Most of all remember that as long as you are on the path, you will continue to recover. When a baby is learning to walk, they don't give up even if they fall 100 times. They know what they want! Ask yourself what do I really want. Know that you will never give up. This has worked for me.

Totte

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Re: Alea iacta est 52y
« Reply #81 on: June 05, 2018, 07:58:58 AM »
  Everyone has setbacks. Ask yourself how it happened, and plan how to prevent a similar failure. Most of all remember that as long as you are on the path, you will continue to recover. When a baby is learning to walk, they don't give up even if they fall 100 times. They know what they want! Ask yourself what do I really want. Know that you will never give up. This has worked for me.

Hello!
Yes of course there will be setbacks! And my setback was that there happened to much at the same time, and i needed to blow of some steem...

Dont have to go in to what exactly but it had to do with my family and the pressure from them to fix stuff for them. (not my wife and children). I have a work that demand much from me and now i have had to much to do at work so this 100% demand in time from family was no good lol!
And how can i tell them that i cant help due to i have a SEX addiction, thats to privet.

My family would not understand even if i was an alcoholic. No acceptances from them in this situation (Family history with alcoholism).

I am really struggling with my PMO addiction, i have good progress with the start of Karezza but then this happened and i am set back from 20 day's, and was seeing a light in the tunnel.
Now im and the start again, had i been at 40-50 day's then i had maybe dropt down halfway but 20 day's its like i havent had any progress at all, that i can len on when i start again.....
Sorry writing from my heart so English is worse then ever..............

Tom

Totte

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Re: A new start (Alea iacta est) 52y
« Reply #82 on: June 10, 2018, 10:20:18 PM »
7days PMO free
I started a personal development project/plan found an app that will help me.
Remente
Finding out some new things about me self.
I am now more relaxed.

Tom

Turtle

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Re: A new start (Alea iacta est) 52y
« Reply #83 on: June 11, 2018, 08:30:58 AM »
Remente is the name of the app?

Totte

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Re: A new start (Alea iacta est) 52y
« Reply #84 on: January 30, 2019, 12:58:10 AM »
Hi, I am back and I really need to start from scratch again.
I am now at tree day PMO free hoping this will work this time.

I will try to answer this 2-3 times a week.
Did I use porn today?                               No               
What were my triggers?                            eyes           
How did I soothe my anxiety or stress?      Working
What am I grateful for today?                   That I started again

BigMog

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Re: A new start (Alea iacta est) 52y
« Reply #85 on: January 30, 2019, 05:11:14 AM »
Hi Tom, Good Luck! I’m sure posting and reading here will help. How is the personal development going that you mentioned earlier? Replacing the porn habit with good development activities seems like a good approach to me.

workinprogressUK

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Re: A new start (Alea iacta est) 52y
« Reply #86 on: January 30, 2019, 06:27:27 AM »
Wishing you success, Tom.

Totte

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Re: A new start (Alea iacta est) 52y
« Reply #87 on: January 30, 2019, 04:42:11 PM »
This is my third day and in a few hours its fore day.
What I wonder is can I look at a beautiful woman and not starting to fantasize about want I want to do with them? In reality, I don't know if I would want to have XXX with anyone. I only wish to have a good relationship where I can feel safe. To have a good connection and to give and get support, it's more important than the...... Act.

Hopefully getting better
Tommie

Totte

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Re: A new start (Alea iacta est) 52y
« Reply #88 on: January 31, 2019, 03:03:23 PM »
A full day and no PMO but did check in to one of this shit spam mail with you know. And just laughed about it really stupid. Was no will to do anything else but just stupid, but no harm really. But what is it that one makes this (cud be) stupid choices? There is a strong desire to...
Think if there was a really easy fix to let you stop and think. I try to think before I take a step that can trigger me.

Tom

Totte

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Re: A new start (Alea iacta est) 52y
« Reply #89 on: February 02, 2019, 05:55:55 AM »
Well this is hard I'm struggling with my demons.
I did some P but no O. Well how can I face the demons?
What is it in my life that's missing that give me the desire to do this destructive behavior?

workinprogressUK

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Re: A new start (Alea iacta est) 52y
« Reply #90 on: February 04, 2019, 02:04:06 PM »
My friend, you're right about the need to find out what's missing for you. I know that I need to identify the things missing or underlying for me, and eventually try to resolve them. But in these first few days, where you're unable to stop yourself using P, maybe you could try to focus on identfying your triggers and some avoidance tactics first? I'm the last person who should give advice, but it's like you've cut yourself with a saw, and instead of staunching the bleeding, you start to read a book about improving your joinery technique. RUN.... Remove yourself from the opportunity (shut down the PC immediately).... Un-distort your cognitive distortions (stop bullshitting yourself).... Never forget the damage that P abuse has done to your life. Try that?

Totte

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Re: A new start (Alea iacta est) 52y
« Reply #91 on: February 04, 2019, 02:14:32 PM »
My friend, you're right about the need to find out what's missing for you. I know that I need to identify the things missing or underlying for me, and eventually try to resolve them. But in these first few days, where you're unable to stop yourself using P, maybe you could try to focus on identfying your triggers and some avoidance tactics first? I'm the last person who should give advice, but it's like you've cut yourself with a saw, and instead of staunching the bleeding, you start to read a book about improving your joinery technique. RUN.... Remove yourself from the opportunity (shut down the PC immediately).... Un-distort your cognitive distortions (stop bullshitting yourself).... Never forget the damage that P abuse has done to your life. Try that?


Wow thanks,  man!
This was what I needed to hear, absolutely the right words!
I will read this to get me on track. I am taking this in, I post later!
Tom

Totte

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Re: A new start (Alea iacta est) 52y
« Reply #92 on: February 05, 2019, 06:49:57 AM »
Step nr1
Start eating healty
To get my brain to se clear

Step nr2
Start workout gym 2-3 times a week
To fell good and strong

Step nr3
Read a novel a month
Just for fun

More is coming
Good day to day no PMO

Tom


workinprogressUK

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Re: A new start (Alea iacta est) 52y
« Reply #93 on: February 05, 2019, 07:11:46 AM »
Nice one, Tom. Keep up the good work!