Author Topic: Recovering Anorexic, Trying to Help My PA Partner Recover  (Read 10121 times)

malando

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Re: Recovering Anorexic, Trying to Help My PA Partner Recover
« Reply #50 on: July 30, 2017, 03:15:47 PM »
Wow, congrats Anna! I didn't realise you were getting married so soon. I'm very happy for you and Cody - may you both (and your little one) go from strength to strength. :)

AnonymousAnnaXO

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Re: Recovering Anorexic, Trying to Help My PA Partner Recover
« Reply #51 on: August 04, 2017, 08:01:07 AM »
Thanks Malando!
"Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive" - sir Walter Scott

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AnonymousAnnaXO

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Re: Recovering Anorexic, Trying to Help My PA Partner Recover
« Reply #52 on: October 06, 2017, 12:47:30 PM »
So I haven't posted in a while. Things have been quite hectic. I am due on November 17th... which is coming up! Totally terrified and excited at the same time!

My husband is doing well in school, still getting A's, and very proud of him. We acquired a 1995 318i BMW a couple months ago for $300 and my husband and I have fallen in love with that car. My husband is currently in his first auto tech class (which is what he is pursuing) and loving it. He changed the rear brake discs on the bimmer and they don't even learn about brakes until the end of the semester so I am happy that my husband I guess has "natural skill" in this given it's his passion. A job recruiter from Subaru came to their class this week and had a list to sign up for their online university and the recruiter said that for those who do well on their online university and do well in the auto tech program, they will probably be reaching out to you to offer a job with paid training and benefits. So my husband is really excited, especially because there is such a need for auto techs (which I didn't realize, apparently they are 116,000 job openings for auto techs in the industry right now because of the demand).

For me, I took this semester off so I could give birth and not possibly be in NYC while in labor haha. I reached out to the Center of Family Justice (which works with domestic violence and sexual assault victims) for opportunities with internships and volunteering. Their internships are through school credit so I would have to discuss that with whatever professor I take for the internship class. I would love to intern there, and they make you go through training to be certified to work with domestic violence and sexual assault victims. The Center also offers education courses for the public, which I am thinking about taking (only costs $30 per class) since I already have a passion for that area and want to possibly go into that after getting my masters.

Relationally my husband and I are still working on things. My husband still seems to not initiate relationship recovery work. My husband has completely turned his life around with being 1 year and 4 months off PMO and I am so proud, I just wish he showed that determination when it came to rebuilding the relationship. We do have fun together, can get along, and on occasion have very intimate and emotional sex, but there is still the trust that is being worked on... trust is not yet there and I told him it wouldn't be there until there was consistency shown.

I know we are both so excited for our son to be born. He kicks me so much and I think he dropped the other day. I am 34 weeks pregnant, and I am really nervous about childbirth. I know I am getting an epidural, but very nervous about before I get it. I am not good with pain, and I know childbirth is ... well, painful. I just hope my husband and I are on a good enough note by that time.

I am thinking that if things don't shift, I need to set consequences for not doing the relationship recovery work, like not hanging out with him in the evening when he expects me to drop everything I'm doing. Or maybe if relationship recovery doesn't get done we sleep in separate beds until he gets the message. I don't know yet what consequence would be helpful, but I am thinking about it.
"Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive" - sir Walter Scott

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AnonymousAnnaXO

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Re: Recovering Anorexic, Trying to Help My PA Partner Recover
« Reply #53 on: March 11, 2018, 10:33:11 AM »
Things have been much better. We are in couples counseling, we figured out some helpful things. Specifically having individual time before we have "us" time. Also talking more, being honest, trying to connect. Cody tries to avoid connection because of the pain it brings when talking about his addiction, but we are slowly working on that.

Baby A is a bit over 3 months and he is the most precious thing! We love him so much, and really are putting in our all to be good as individuals, parents, and as a couple.
"Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive" - sir Walter Scott

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aquarius25

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Re: Recovering Anorexic, Trying to Help My PA Partner Recover
« Reply #54 on: March 12, 2018, 02:13:09 PM »
So glad to hear that things are good and you are enjoying your little one! Congrats!

AnonymousAnnaXO

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Re: Recovering Anorexic, Trying to Help My PA Partner Recover
« Reply #55 on: July 30, 2018, 12:23:30 PM »
I haven't been on RebootNation in a long time, been on NoFap mainly and have made some great connections and friends over there.

In my recovery it's been over 2 years post DDay, and yesterday was our one year marriage anniversary. Our son is 8 months old now. I have an online magazine and it will be one year old on August 17th.

In my own personal recovery I am doing well. Most triggers I can breathe through and stay calm and collected by. There are still some that have a PTSD immediate reaction and those are the things my husband and I still need to address.

My husband confronted his abusive/neglectful mother on July 4th. She herself is an addict to cocaine and in my opinion alcohol- or at least dependant on it. My husband is putting the pieces of his past together and having to come to some grim realizations. His mother being neglectful... mainly absent prior to the divorce, not taking care of them. She knew nannies would lock him and his siblings in closests.... she did nothing about it. His older sister told me and him about the memories she has (my husband has repressed all this abuse) and she talked about how he and his twin brother would be screaming and banging on the closet doors begging to be let out.... That breaks my heart.

It also breaks my heart that she would beat them with wooden spoons and belts.... a lot....

August 4th is marking one month since he confronted her. She said she would talk to him within the month about the tough things... she hasn't reached out. So August 4th marks one month and he plans to text her.

I know his mother is his biggest trigger, and he is severely struggling with depression... which means lack of connection between us most days... He did call my old psychiatrist the other day to get an appointment. I hope that with his therapist and getting on correct medication he can be more motivated in his own recovery and in the relationship recovery.

Financially we are SUPER tight right now because he got into a car accident last week and totaled my car. We had to use our savings to get me a car because I do need one- not only in case of emergencies for our little one, but for school and my internship.

So, doing my best to plan out things financially and pay off credit cards. I am doing my best to be a mom and run an online magazine. It's hectic for sure. Plus my internship will be starting where I will work with victims of domestic and sexual violence once a week. I am so excited for that though! I have a meeting with the head of Advocacy this wednesday and am super nervous!!
"Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive" - sir Walter Scott

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AnonymousAnnaXO

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Re: Recovering Anorexic, Trying to Help My PA Partner Recover
« Reply #56 on: May 31, 2019, 10:09:11 PM »
It's been a while. But things are good. We have successfully repaired our marriage. I still struggle from BT triggers and such but we have really rebuilt a new life.... I hope others out there know that they too can achieve success, healing, and rebuilding!
"Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive" - sir Walter Scott

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aquarius25

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Re: Recovering Anorexic, Trying to Help My PA Partner Recover
« Reply #57 on: June 03, 2019, 07:46:56 AM »
I am so happy for you two!!! So glad to hear a good outcome! It is not easy but having a relationship healing is so good to hear! Congrats again and best of luck in the years to come!