Author Topic: Possible childhood triggers for Porn Addiction?  (Read 2425 times)

Snap309

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Possible childhood triggers for Porn Addiction?
« on: September 20, 2016, 10:32:45 AM »
I wanted to post some general questions (in several forums) regarding peoples opinions of possibilities
of Porn Addiction being "set up" by early childhood/ adolescent sexual abuse or experiences.

I do NOT know (or suspect) if I had any physical sexual abuse in my childhood, However- I strongly feel that we can get "hardwired" emotionally/mentally conditioned early in life to push us towards our inner feelings regarding our sexuality.

IF we get NEGATIVE /conflicting feelings ingrained (as I did) - we might seek out these themes on Porn to "Prove" our unhealthiness with normal/intimate relationships.

What are peoples views regarding this? In MY limited opinion- every "addiction" has some underlying REASON why we seek it out. Porn is no exception

Snap309

offaxis

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Re: Possible childhood triggers for Porn Addiction?
« Reply #1 on: September 21, 2016, 10:07:43 AM »
For me, I can see how my sexual addiction was setup from my childhood. I wasn't abused though nor was there a single event that led to it. It was just a poor coping mechanism as i didn't know any better. I then propagated an adult relationship that encouraged this.

In my case, there was shame and secrecy around sex. Particularly keeping it hidden.

From reading books like NMMNG though I've come to appreciate that porn was one important symptom but that there are other parts of my attitudes and values that were equally broken. The sexual dysfunction is just a more obvious one.

So I have a good grasp of why I got hooked on porn and not alcohol or gambling.

The negative feelings I had were around my own self worth and needs, and generally feeling I am less important or secondary to other people. This came indirectly from the codependent relationship my mother had (and still has to some degree) with my father, although his alcohol abuse these days is quite a lot less than during my childhood. It also came from some of my early relationship and sexual experiences - that it was more important to please my partner than myself or equally.

aquarius25

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Re: Possible childhood triggers for Porn Addiction?
« Reply #2 on: September 22, 2016, 06:33:10 PM »
I am not a PA I am the spouse of one. My husband was never sexually abused as a child but I was. I have had a few different experiences. One at age 5, another at age 10, also at age 14. Then later I actually volunteered to be in a P later at age 16 ( they provided the fake id). It was a terrible experience ( I have posted about it in another forum) and I would never do it again!!! I am not addicted at all to P. I look at that and wonder why a lot. One of the themes that stand out to me. As I fit the bill for the perfect candidate for PA but I am not. I have noticed shame being a huge underlying theme almost across the board. When I did start to experience sexually, even despite my past negative experiences, I was never shamed for it. I never felt ashamed for masturbating, even as a young girl. I wonder how much that plays into the addiction? I was able to masturbate without feeling like I was doing something wrong and therefore didn't feel the shame or need to hide it. I had discretion as in I didn't just talk about it all the time or do it out in the living room or anything. But I never felt it was wrong. My husband did not have that. He felt for some reason that what he was doing was bad, wrong, or even dirty. So he didn't have anyone to talk to about it. When the dopamine started to get to a point of addition he didn't have anyone to help him notice and pull him out.  Kind of like when you are just starting to drink and you have that one friend that does it too much. You lovingly notice and tell them. He never had that so of course 15 yrs turns into quite a huge addiction.
That is just something that I have wondered. I know in our house sex is no longer a topic of shame. I try to create an atmosphere of openness for my kids. They are young now but when they do have questions I want them to be comfortable to ask and not have shame attached in any way to their bodies and their sexual interest. After all sex is a good thing and supposed to be enjoyable right? LOL!

apricot54

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Re: Possible childhood triggers for Porn Addiction?
« Reply #3 on: October 17, 2016, 05:59:25 PM »
It is common for Sex to be a shameful, taboo subject.
It was like that for me when I was growing up. I knew nothing about it, but I was told to keep away from girls.
I had my first girlfriend when I was 5, and was so excited I told my Mum. She seemed disappointed and told me I was too young for a girlfriend. The next day at school, My 'girlfriend' tried to hug me and I pushed her away and said 'Stay away from me'.
That was the last girl friend I had for 25 years.

I had a friend who was not ashamed about sex. He had a progressive, modern mother.
When we were both 8, he explained sex to me, I had no idea up until then, he also asked if I would like to sleep with his sister. I said 'no' , because it seemed wrong.

I would say it is good to explain sex in a matter-of-fact way. And not be ashamed about relationships ' Boyfriends and Girlfriends'. But also make it clear that sex is an activity that is taboo and wrong until they are old and grown up.

« Last Edit: October 17, 2016, 06:01:41 PM by apricot54 »

Moon

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Re: Possible childhood triggers for Porn Addiction?
« Reply #4 on: May 11, 2018, 03:50:09 AM »

such problems require solution together with a psychologist. Preferably therapy

bloom7

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Re: Possible childhood triggers for Porn Addiction?
« Reply #5 on: June 14, 2018, 12:09:48 AM »
For me, porn stemmed off of my curiosity as a kid. When I was 8 a friend and I stumbled across porn. I'm not sure where her parents were at the time, but I remember sitting in front of that computer watching porn for a couple of hours before we were stopped. I can still remember all of it to this day. Back then I had no clue what we had watched and became very curious, which led to looking up porn. Years passed and my curiosity turned into an urge to watch porn. I have no doubt that if I hadn't seen porn that day as a kid, I wouldn't have seen any to this day.