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Messages - Fra888333

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Women / Defeating porn in the world
« on: April 22, 2015, 05:09:40 PM »
You will excuse me, perhaps. But hey, THIS is the place where a movement of consciousness could begin to change the world. Yes, excuse my idealism if you can.

Porn is a problem. I read and hear people say it's not evil, but I think there's now enough material to begin to say that it is indeed, evil. Yes, sex is a natural beautiful thing, but not when it si deprived of intimacy, shown on video with the sole purpose of making money, addicting people, arousing excitement for the sake of it. Porn is watched by children now, as a teacher I know it. Children get phones with internet or computers when they are 10 years old or younger, who will keep them away from porn? Do we really think "they will get to know it sooner or later, so why worrying too much"? Children and adolescents have their lives heavily influenced, sometimes disrupted by porn; shall we just accept it? Porn becomes an addiction. Porn is a problem.

I think women could help men in this, help them understand, help them come to realize that change is needed. We could protest together.
Yes, I'm suggesting a protest.
Sites such as this one, together with the studies of universities that demonstrate the bad effects of porn, could do something.
 
No, I don't think porn will be stopped or banned, I'm not so naive. And I'm not so fundamentalist to suggest the total abolition of porn. But hey, can we at least fight, struggle as hard as we can to write big on the front page of porn sites that they cause all sorts of disfunctions, they are unhealthy, they are not just unsuitable, but really deleterious for children and adolescents, just as we write such warnings on cigarette packs? Can't we struggle to urge governments to put extremely harder restrictions on porn in the internet and the other medias? Can't we struggle to raise consciousness on the fact that porn IS a problem, and it shouldn't be ignored? I think we can, but we need women, because most men (myself included) are weakened by their own ambiguity towards porn, a drug they like and think they can deal with.

Many things could be done, I think we all know it, even though I may have sound exaggerated.
After all, just to make an example, everyone who deals with online banking, that is virtually every adult with a bank account, knows that you need to have a special agreement with a bank, you need to get a controlled account, to get a pin number, a code, connected with your name. The bank is controlled by the state, and the bank knows and must know that you are an adult, and therefore can give you an account: can't we suggest similar systems for porn use, to save minors? Other instance: alcohol is sold only to adults and infringments of this law is justly punished; can't we suggest governments similar restrictions for porn-dealers (that's how porn companies sound in my mind).

What I wrote are just some ideas, to restrict porn, not necessarily to eliminate it, just as we do with widely accepted drugs. But it has to have much, MUCH stronger limits. Because it is indeed causing destruction, the destruction of people from the inside, even deeper than the destruction caused by physical substances. Porn strikes the personality, the individuality, the soul if you want, of people.
I think it's time to act together, to do something.

And you?

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hello Cicero, if I understand, while the hoped outcome of refraining from PMO is an improvement also in the relationship, you experience somewhat the opposite. I don't have any certainties, but I feel myself that refraining from PMO doesn't make everything better with my girlfriend immediately, I simply keep hoping it will eventually. What makes me most ashamed now, really loaded with shame and feeling inadequate and worthless, is to be more attracted to other girls, often. Porn, and (places with) many beautiful girls just attract me in a powerful overwhelming way. I can't seem to give up wanting them all. My girlfriend is just splendid, and I want to become worthy of her, but the way just doesn't seem easy at all.
Do any of the things I wrote match your, or anyone's experience? It's a burning topic to me.

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Porn Addiction / Re: premature ejaculation, has anyone overcome it?
« on: March 31, 2015, 07:50:35 AM »
Thank-you very much guys. It's helpful. If you have any other PE related experience you'd wanna share please do, it does help.

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Porn Addiction / premature ejaculation, has anyone overcome it?
« on: March 30, 2015, 11:16:25 AM »
Hello, my name is Franz, I'm 31 and I'm new here. I've got questions, and I don't know anyone who'd be able to answer, or anyone I can ask.
I've loved women since I was in kindergarden, and I was attracted to their body since elementary school. I begun watching porn regularly when I was about 18, and developed addiction later on, at about 24, when I had a faster internet connection and left my girlfriend. This is what I experienced then: For the 4 previous years I had had regular and beautiful sex with my girlfriend, no stress, no ED or premature ejaculation, I felt secure and she could reach orgasm with me most of the time. Then we separated, and I couldn't find a girlfriend for years: I was alone and felt miserable, and fapped a lot. I was able to approach a girl only at 27, but when we had sex the first time I realized I experienced premature ejaculation. I felt ashamed, because I came almost immediately, and she pointed it out; I realized that time what premature ejaculation was, I had never experienced it before, it was inability to control pleasure, to give to pleasure to her, in a way my body was only able to take pleasure for itself, as quickly as possible. I had some tiny improvements since, I had sex with other girls and I was able to control myself a little better, often depending on my general self-confidence in that period, but I never really got back to the beautiful (now I realize it fully) experience I had with my first girlfriend: sex with no worry of premature ejaculation. I have a girlfriend now, we have sex and sometimes especially at the beginning (when I came out of a serious personal crisis) it was really beautiful for both; but honestly most of the times now it begins beautiful but it ends badly, because I can't control myself. All these years I stopped fapping sometimes, but never more than a 15 days or a month period. Do you think I could get back to no premature ejaculation if I quit for real?
I have another question: often I can go for days without watching porn. I feel the need but I can turn the other way if I don't have other stimuli; the problem is when I go to places with lots of beautiful girls, like the university (I'm taking a second degree for work), then it's like thorns in my guts, tickle all over me, and often when I get back home I relapse to porn because I was aroused outside. But how can I do, should I shut out the world, should I not go out?
Please, if you've had similar experiences, especially the PE tragedy, tell me something or give me advice, thank-you.

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