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Messages - Paddrecon

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1
Porn Addiction / Re: What happened to my counter?
« on: September 15, 2017, 04:03:09 PM »
My counter is also distorted I do not know what happened; sometimes I can access it, sometimes I cannot. The administrators should look into the matter I think it is technical.

2
Ages 20-29 / Re: 22 year old kicking porn and masturbation
« on: April 17, 2017, 05:33:49 AM »
Never give up your thread has inspired me to embark on the no PMO journey again. I lost a girl I loved so dearly due to PIED combined with ED from anridepressants, and I am also the lone guy who no one invites/cares about. We probably use porn and masturbation in an attempt to escape this situation.

3
Ages 20-29 / Re: Social isolation, visiting hookers of PMO for 120+ days
« on: November 26, 2016, 03:26:22 PM »
Hey man, I've read different articles on the phases of  porn addiction. I don't exactly remember all of them but the last one. The last one being the "acting out" phase. This phase is where porn no longer excites you and you want the real thing. Hiring escorts would identify as that. Also, during the "acting out" phase the brain wants to continue the excitement of exploring and hunting for the pleasure. There is a desensitization and a carelessness thought pattern in achieving happiness or sexual pleasure during the "acting out" phase too. This being what you are engaging in by hiring escorts and not taking into consideration the side effects such as STD's. I have read a lot about the neuroscience of this addiction and how the brain works during this process. I have some links with videos I can send you if you're interested. YourBrainOnPorn.com is a good website too and it's right here on the forum. Being socially awkward is normal during this process as well. Our brain gets so used to being alone and in a fantasy type world we almost lose touch with society/reality. When I was in college I felt as if I was disconnected from the real world because school took up so much of my time. Once I graduated and got a job things were a lot different and I was forced to be social. This changed me and helped me get away from porn. By the way I'm not a social person either. I don't know when it started but I have this stammering/stuttering issue when I talk. It's so sporadic and comes and goes I hate it and when I talk to people it's funny to them and it seems like something is wrong with me, so it takes a lot away for my social activity.

I would suggest you take a break from all sex for at least a month. I would challenge you to the 90-day challenge. Nothing sexual for 90 days. I would be willing to bet you would start to see spontaneous erections and other normal bodily functions you say have gone away. The best news is, man, you haven't destroyed yourself. You haven't reached a point of no return although it may feel like it. Your brain and body will return to normal functioning and social activity will get easier too. In my opinion, go without anything sexual for a minimum of 30 days and see where you're at. If nothing has changed then go 60 days. Then go 90 days sex free. Your brain and body will return I guarantee it. Best of luck to you brother.

Thanks for the sincere comment I will definitely cease looking at P substitutes and hiring prostitutes for 30 days at least. I also used many antidepressants and they also seem to be related with decreased sexual activity, I would be grateful if someone can comment on this fact too. Here is a link validating that : http://rxisk.org/post-ssri-sexual-dysfunction-pssd/

4
Ages 20-29 / Social isolation, visiting hookers of PMO for 120+ days
« on: November 26, 2016, 01:41:17 PM »
Hello guys,

I am back on the boat and managed to go 120+ days without PMO. However in that time I visited escorts several times to satisfy my desire for sex. I was no longer able to get it off with porn and porn did not even elicit an erection from me. Only real girls managed to do that, but I was not able to attract a compatible female due to my lack of a social circle. As of now I literally have no friends that I can get into physical touch since most of them are abroad. 

After I broke up with my girlfriend I had maybe 2 potential girlfriends, yet I was not interested in the first one and the second one sort of ghosted on me again. Now I am struggling to get my master's degree since I extended the duration of my study after failing to defend my thesis on time. I really want to have a normal social life apart from girlfriend, but I cannot and I identify myself as loveshy.

These aside I have been pretty active physically: I went to gym and boxing regularly, enrolled in dance classes, participated in lots of dance nights. I also do one more sport regularly and I do not want to disclose it as it may serve as an identifier.

Sexually my performance has deprived to quite some extend: I can no longer get spontaneous erections, no more wetdreams, no more sensation from masturbation apart orgasm and when I orgasm very little cum comes. I am allergic to eggs and I cannot say I have a solid nutrition program so that may be the culprit. IMO stress is also a big factor in this; I feel like my penis will not ever work again and this drives me to doing crazy things.

I do not PMO anymore, yet I look at porn sometimes and hire escorts occasionally. I am afraid that I may be burning my money, inviting STDs and decreasing my reputation/career. I am in the middle of a vicious cycle and I started counselling with an expert on human sexuality. I would be keen to hear your opinions.

5
Ages 20-29 / Re: No PMO no P forever
« on: April 27, 2016, 03:23:00 AM »
Salutations everyone :)

I am really making progress and the medicine Trental seems to work. However, these days I am really moody as hell and I avoid porn at all costs. I just made a quick Google search about sexual desire and glimpsed at a few sexual questions on forums out of curiosity. However, no one seems to have as low libido as mine at my age(25). This is really weird and I am beginning to worry if I will ever be normal again. I am also trying to stay away from masturbation and orgasm, yet I fail at times. I have also been to an escort twice. I would really like to hear your opinions on my situation.

6
Ages 20-29 / Re: No PMO no P forever
« on: April 04, 2016, 04:38:00 PM »
Hello guys,

I am still having trouble getting intimate with real-life girls and I consulted an urologist due to my low libido and erectile dysfunction. All the blood tests turned out to be normal; however, I cannot eat well these days to my IBS kicking back again. I am afraid that GERD and gastritis will return. I have been looking at various porn substitutes and escort ads. Actually I could not help myself and visited an escort. The experience was nice and the sex was more fulfilling than the sex with my girlfriend. Is this normal? I thought I was really emotionally attached to that girl and I really miss her, yet I know that she has gone forever.

I always have the urge to masturbate or look at porn substitutes, yet I cannot come as much as I used to. I think this also has something to do with my poor diet and bad lifestyle. Although I am participating actively in sports I hardly find time to relax and I am pretty stressed these days.

7
Ages 20-29 / Re: No PMO no P forever
« on: February 06, 2016, 07:15:40 PM »
Hey man sorry about your girl, I know that can be rough. In my opinion you need to accept that you will not be able to fight this addiction or issue alone. You need some outside help. I highly suggest checking out a Sex Addicts Anonymous meeting. I have been to a few so far and I have found it to be incredibly helpful. I was skeptical at first but having real life discussions about this with others dealing with the addiction might be the grounding you need. I certainly needed it after years of lying, watching porn, and contacting escorts. I wish you the best of luck man, message me anytime if you wanna chat

Yes due to bad sex and a bit of being clingy on my side she ditched me for good. Everything aside I could not have sex with her over a period of one and half a month which really sucks. Today I browsed a bit of escort sites and porn sites to check if everything is fine without touching. It was as if I did not have a penis and I did not get aroused, my sex drive is low. After getting dumped to ED I need to prove myself that I can have vaginal sex with a woman and hence I browsed escort sites. Anyways I am in a hard situation right now and I avoid PMO at all costs. We may chat our convenience if you wish, for the girlfriend part it seems that we salvaged the friendship.

8
Ages 20-29 / Re: No PMO no P forever
« on: February 04, 2016, 03:20:04 PM »
Okay I am browsing some dating sites to meet real women in order to channel my sexual energy. So far I have not looked at any porn substitutes and I abstain from escorts. However, I feel really lethargic and as if I have no penis and sexual desire. Is it normal? I masturbated for the last two days to see if everything was working, but now I am thinking of quitting that habit of mine too.

9
Ages 20-29 / Re: No PMO no P forever
« on: January 16, 2016, 05:09:42 AM »
Okay damn it guys I am standing my ground but having really really rough days as I broke up with my girlfriend. Most of our problems were of sexual nature: i.e my lack of erection, passion etc. although I loved her dearly. Now I glimpsed at escort ads a few times, yet I am feeling very lonely.

10
Ages 20-29 / Re: No PMO no P forever
« on: January 12, 2016, 01:00:02 AM »
Guys first WET DREAM EVER after a very long time  :) :) My girlfriend is abroad and I am not watching porn; however, I am masturbating a bit regularly in order not to kill the drive. Last night out of blue(actually I rubbed myself against the bed before sleeping) I had a wet dream which felt great although I came into my pants. >:( It has been 18 days and I think this is some solid progress.

My girlfriend is a bit hurt, but I think we can manage everything, she is currently abroad and she is oblivious to my porn issues. She is a very understanding girl and I think I might disclose this to her although I know she hates porn at a deep level. Even during our relationship I watched porn a couple of times and if I admit that things might turn out really bad between us. What do you say?

11
Ages 20-29 / Re: I relapsed after 48 days of no PMO and with a GF
« on: January 12, 2016, 12:57:44 AM »
Guys first WET DREAM EVER after a very long time  :) :) My girlfriend is abroad and I am not watching porn; however, I am masturbating a bit regularly in order not to kill the drive. Last night out of blue(actually I rubbed myself against the bed before sleeping) I had a wet dream which felt great although I came into my pants. >:( It has been 18 days and I think this is some solid progress.

12
Ages 20-29 / Re: I relapsed after 48 days of no PMO and with a GF
« on: January 10, 2016, 02:31:38 PM »
Thanks Garby, but I am trying hard to avoid any possible triggers. Apart from all of these my girlfriend really complained about my lack of passion, I think I could not be passionate although I love her and lust after her. Did anyone of you guys experienced something like this?

13
Ages 20-29 / Re: I relapsed after 48 days of no PMO and with a GF
« on: January 09, 2016, 06:12:45 AM »
Without intentionally I run into some porn like pictures while reading news about porn consumption around the world and it affected me badly, so I resetted my counter. I did not edge, but I masturbated to orgasm afterwards to keep myself on track.

14
Ages 20-29 / Re: I relapsed after 48 days of no PMO and with a GF
« on: January 07, 2016, 04:22:13 PM »
Okay everything is going fine and I do not want to look at porn ever; I am on the verge of loosing my current precious girlfriend due to lack of my passion when things get sexual. Let this be a lesson to you all, the porn really damages your reward circuitry in such a way that even when a really sexy woman comes along you are not able to get it up, enjoy sex and or ejaculate.

15
Ages 20-29 / Re: I relapsed after 48 days of no PMO and with a GF
« on: January 04, 2016, 03:12:30 AM »
Hello again,

I am MO'ing sometimes, but I do not watch porn anymore. I wonder if masturbating will have a negative effect on real sex.

16
Ages 20-29 / Re: I relapsed after 48 days of no PMO and with a GF
« on: January 01, 2016, 08:27:54 PM »
just keep it up man I recently relapsed after 74 days and was on and off for about 2 weeks (go four days then relapse then restart etc.) I am still able to have sex with my gf thank god and you will get there man the first time I had sex with my gf was with morning wood and it felt like humping wet air but the second time it was great (she aroused me and it was around my 54 day mark) but sent myself into a flat line from coming too much in a short time and it took a week to get wood back, what I am trying to say man is it takes take I have been trying to fight this addiction since last February but you will get there having trust in a partner  and being comfortable helps so much I told my girlfriend everything when we were friends and it has helped taking it slow some days just use this as a way to build in other aspects of the relationship first then the sex will come and when it does you'll be glad you did :) hope this helps you out guy

I am keeping it up guys and today I MO'ed with only a fantasy of my GF. The relationship has been going bad a bit and I think my relapse might be the culprit. rebooting555 I did not disclose my GF my porn consumption was still continuing although I disclosed her all the escorts etc. I do not know how to bring it up and as friends we did not talk about this stuff much.

17
Ages 20-29 / Re: I relapsed after 48 days of no PMO and with a GF
« on: December 30, 2015, 05:51:57 PM »
Dude, find a new motivation to keep going! I have had this addiction for 6 years and I had a wonderful girlfriend 3 years ago that I never told about my problem. My biggest regret is not rebooting during our relationship. Had I known back then what I do now, I would have made her happiness my number one motivation to quit PMO forever. The only advice I can offer you is to consider a new motivation to quit.

Well Rival2015 I have a girlfriend as I said and probably due to porn we are having issues. Her happiness is actually my no.1 priority so I can use it as a motivation too.  Also I am very eager to have a fully functioning dick again.

18
Ages 20-29 / Re: I relapsed after 48 days of no PMO and with a GF
« on: December 30, 2015, 05:50:30 PM »
Well, I will take this as another swing.
you mind is might playing.
stop swinging.

The same fukking thing is happening with me right now, I am swinging from here to there.
my mind is playing with me.
I am changing my counters and my plans to beat PMO.
I am really swinging hard.

I don't know what to do.
I have a serious mental disorder associated with porn, because after relapse in deep state of pain and despair I start swinging.

I get extra religious in night, and then in morning I come back into reality and get completely irreligious.

porn has really fuked my brain.

the only thing I can say to you my friend, stick to your plan.
don't come in the game of your own mind.

My mind is playing and this particular problem is also damaging my budding relationship. I am in love with this girl and I do not want to lose her for porn. I was having erectile difficulties while having sex with her (to be honest vaginal sex was never possible) and I blamed SSRIs for that. Though they have a role it is not as big as I think to be. This thing really alters your brain chemicals and it is very bad not to be able to enjoy real sex with a loved one. I have established a set of counters that I will not change and I will definitely get this out of me to save myself and my relationship. Note that I relapsed when I was stressed, wanted to check if my penis works properly etc. etc. Please do not do these!!!

19
Ages 20-29 / Re: I relapsed after 48 days of no PMO and with a GF
« on: December 30, 2015, 05:46:52 PM »
I admire your honesty with yourself. No one here will judge you as we are all going through the same thing. I myself have just had to reset my counter. It is an addiction and the path to recovery is not a straight forward one.

I can offer a small amount of advice regarding your GF, however as I don't know her or you as well as you do, that is all it is. But I often find that honesty in a situation like this in not a bad thing. I believe that if you tell her, she will be able to understand why there are sexual problems. Tell her that you are not proud of it, but that you love her and that you want to stop for her. Make it clear that you are attracted to her, and that you are frustrated that you can't show her that in the way you want to. But you are trying to fix it. And with her support you will. She will appreciate your openness.

Then get her to install a password to K9 and that way it makes it more difficult to PMO and gives you that extra support system.

But again, your know your GF better than me so ultimately it's down to you.

Thanks for the support man, the thing is although initially I disclosed my girlfriend I was a porn user; I did not tell her about PIED or the fact that I watched porn in the middle of the relationship(one month into) just to check if my dick works. I find it extremely hard to offer her to install a software of this kind and it is not a total solution. Apart from that I noticed that my penis responds to pixels much more, so I can be sure that this is PIED. This has happened with the escorts too and to my dismay I was also on SSRIs which makes it harder to get hard. I am having problems in my relationship right now and I hope I will be able to get over them soon. Thanks for the support, hearing that we are on the same but makes me feel less isolated.

20
Ages 20-29 / Re: I relapsed after 48 days of no PMO and with a GF
« on: December 28, 2015, 06:20:20 PM »
Today I also looked at some sex footage of a couple on www.ifuckinglovescience.com just out of curiousity. I did not get aroused, but for the sake of completeness of my reboot I resetted my counter.

21
Ages 20-29 / Re: I relapsed after 48 days of no PMO and with a GF
« on: December 28, 2015, 06:12:36 PM »
I definitely want to quit and I am doing the exercises on www.feedtherightwolf.com and they are of great help so far. Up to this date I am fine and I will keep up the work. When I relapsed I noticed that my penis was extremely sensitive to visual stimuli; however, there is a problem with my girlfriend although I love her much.

22
Ages 20-29 / Re: I relapsed after 48 days of no PMO and with a GF
« on: December 28, 2015, 05:12:27 AM »
Thanks man for the really good suggestion, are you also struggling with this addiction? A moment ago I deleted my porn archive for the last time (after forming the archive and deleting it for a few times), I binged a little in this period, but anyways I am back on the track. The problem is my GF really hates porn and I am afraid that this can damage our relationship as I am also having sexual problems such as lack of libido and erectile dysfunction. What is your call should I disclose to her that I still use porn occasionally?

23
Ages 20-29 / I relapsed after 48 days of no PMO and with a GF
« on: December 19, 2015, 06:24:38 AM »
Damn it guys I have relapsed a few minutes ago.  :'( Yesterday night I began to browse for stockings fetish and then I saw some pictures of sexy women in stockings which led me to browse escort-ads then I finally porn. I did not masturbate or touched my dick then, but in the morning I felt an extreme need to browse these pictures and videos again, so I launched my browser and did so. I began to get immense pleasure and could not resist it, but did not stroke myself regularly. However, I came without stroking myself, just by looking at the videos and I felt disgusted about myself after 48 days of abstinence. Let me also remind you that I have a lovely girlfriend with whom I cannot have sex due to erectile dysfunction and she is not happy with it.

I think I relapsed as follows:

  • I get extremely frustrated when I could not get a solid erection and maintain it with my GF.
  • My GF went away for some time and I got very very horny.
  • I was looking at nyloned legs of women on the street, in the campus etc.
  • I said what harm can happen if I just searched stockings fetish.
  • I came across some pictures of women in stocking.
  • I wanted to make REALLY sure my dick worked.
  • The chain got unleashed.
I am really sad and I know that if my GF knew it she would be frustrated too and surprised at the fact that I was able to get off without even touching my penis. I think this justifies my ED as PIED and tells me to work a lot more. Although I could not get erection with my GF and while masturbating myself I felt extremely horny which was contradictory with my situation. Do you anything to suggest? I even thought of visiting an escort although I have a very lovely GF. I really begin to question and hate myself; what is wrong with me? Am I a real addict with no remedy?

[/list]

24
Ages 20-29 / Re: No PMO no P forever
« on: December 19, 2015, 06:20:54 AM »
Damn it guys I have relapsed a few minutes ago.  :'( Yesterday night I began to browse for stockings fetish and then I saw some pictures of sexy women in stockings which led me to browse escort-ads then I finally porn. I did not masturbate or touched my dick then, but in the morning I felt an extreme need to browse these pictures and videos again, so I launched my browser and did so. I began to get immense pleasure and could not resist it, but did not stroke myself regularly. However, I came without stroking myself, just by looking at the videos and I felt disgusted about myself after 48 days of abstinence. Let me also remind you that I have a lovely girlfriend with whom I cannot have sex due to erectile dysfunction and she is not happy with it.

I think I relapsed as follows:

  • I get extremely frustrated when I could not get a solid erection and maintain it with my GF.
  • My GF went away for some time and I got very very horny.
  • I was looking at nyloned legs of women on the street, in the campus etc.
  • I said what harm can happen if I just searched stockings fetish.
  • I came across some pictures of women in stocking.
  • I wanted to make REALLY sure my dick worked.
  • The chain got unleashed.

25
Ages 20-29 / Re: No PMO no P forever
« on: December 10, 2015, 06:05:42 AM »
So far so good guys I hope I encourage you that this is doable.  :) I am having a really loving relationship I do not take anti-depressants anymore and have given up porn completely. I will keep on posting to keep myself on track.

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