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Messages - Anonymous Dude

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Teens / Re: My struggle of quitting PMO
« on: September 13, 2016, 01:29:28 PM »
You say that your urges are almost unbearable.  These urges will decrease if you let them pass.  I know that seems impossible, but it really is your mind that is telling you that they are unbearable.  The more you let them pass the easier it will become.  IF your body builds up to where it needs release you can get that through a wet dream.  But for other times do the suggestions listed in other comments:   Exercise, cut the sexual stimulation that you are getting from ALL sources - pictures, you tube,.
Even your fantasy life is controlled by you.   There is always a point at which a fantasy presents itself as somethign that you may want to indulge in.  It will knock at your door.  At that stage you can direct your thought elsewhere, but if you play with it you will find it harder to kick it out.
The rule of thumb for porn or fantasy is.  Kick it out as soon as you hear it knocking.   Sometimes we don't see it knocking, but we often do and if we are diligent about redirecting our thought elsewhere (and that is waht it takes we don't just stop thinking about sex, we think about something else in its place.  Make it your goal to learn a lot about porn/addiction/recovery.

For a long time I googled porn words when I wanted a quick break at my computer.   When I wanted to quit all that I decided I'd type in "Porn recovery" and read a bit as a break.   that was a change in habit.
Look to see what triggers you to think about sexual things and then see if you can introduce a new habit.
YOu will develop more freedom in this and your brain will rewire as it continues to be cut free from PMO.

DO you have a porn filter?

I know they will decrease and go away if I just don't give in. It's just that in the moment when the urges hit I sometimes need over 2 hours before the urges go away. About wet dreams, I have never had one so I don't know if I will start to have them even if I go on a long streak without porn and masturbation. Thank you for those tips man! I've read a lot about this addiction and I would say I know a fair share.

I really should come up with something to do when I feel the urges coming. Starting to work out again feels like an impossible task at the moment. Usually my relapses come from being bored or when I'm feeling any kind of negative feelings. I just can't get myself to go away from my computer. And the worst thing is that I need my computer almost daily for school stuff and I like to play video games. If I get urges when I should be doing schoolwork then I just can't go away from my computer but at the same time I can't focus on the schoolwork if I'm experiencing those urges. It's such a bad dilemma...

I don't have a porn filter. I once had one and it really didn't help me at all to be honest. But thank you very much for your reply, I'm sorry that it took me this long to answer, I've not been okay during the last two months.


So, I relapsed again today. I've had a lot of relapses lately and they have been mostly long edging sessions, usually from 3 hours to 6 hours, sometimes more and sometimes less. I've been sinking deeper into my porn addiction and I can really feel it, I've started to change and I've started to see porn differently. When I watch and stroke for hours I go into a state which I could only describe as "sexual bliss" and it last's basically for as long as I can stroke without cumming. Those sessions feel amazing when I'm doing it, even though I sometimes feel like shit even before I've finished. During those sessions sometimes when I've stroked for hours I start to have a hard time keeping my dick hard and if it goes soft I have a hard time getting it hard again without cumming. No doubt the cause for that is the prolonged stimulation without release. Because of this my orgasms aren't even nearly as enjoyable as they would be if I stroked for "only" one or two hours or less.

I'm at a really dark place at the moment. Sometimes I don't even feel any urges really but my brain misses the rush I get from relapsing/giving in. The addiction itself is becoming a turn on for me, or actually it already is. There is porn on the internet that encourages porn addiction and those long stroking sessions and they hit me really hard. There even is a huge community of people online who have accepted porn as their main purpose of life. They just watch porn and stroke every day for as long as they possibly can and they try to avoid cumming for as long as they can. I've read stories about people stroking 12 to 24 hours a day and cumming only like once a week. That is so fucked up but what is even more fucked up is that I've started to consider giving in myself because I'm so tired of fighting this addiction. I've been fighting it for one year and 9 months now and still my longest streak without porn is only 21 days. It's starting to feel as if resistance is futile. Lately the pull to watch porn I've been feeling is the strongest I've felt during my fight against my porn addiction. I'm really considering going to my school nurse and asking for any kind of professional help. I'm just so tired and broken.

The other fucked up thing is that even the thought of sex has become scary to me. Many times I've had problems with getting hard or lasting longer than one minute. Knowing that my porn addiction has gotten worse I "know" that I couldn't perform in bed with a girl. Maybe I could have sex if I managed to go even a week without PMO but at this point I would stress about that so much that I probably wouldn't be able to have sex or it would only last for a really short while. Basically I'm afraid to have sex even though I've had sex so many times in my life that I've lost count (not trying to brag).

Also, lately I've had a huge lack of motivation to do basically anything. Doing even something simple and quick (cleaning up my room, doing the dishes, taking out the trash etc.) takes a lot of willpower. I think my addiction is causing that but I can't be sure of course.

I'm seriously fucked up and I have no idea what to do, sometimes I get suicidal thoughts even though I would never take my own life. This addiction has seriously fucked me up and I would do anything to get rid of it but I just feel like I can't get rid of it. I'm clinging on to my last bit's of hope but I feel like I'm losing any hope I have left little by little every time I relapse.

I seriously need help, I'm at a breaking point and often I feel very depressed about life.

PS: Sorry for possible grammar mistakes.


Teens / Re: My struggle of quitting PMO
« on: July 13, 2016, 06:52:56 AM »
It has been quite long since I posted something here. I have not been doing well at all. My addiction has been getting slowly worse again and I can't understand why. For some reason I have lost almost all of my willpower to resist the urges I get. I still want to beat this addiction and live a life without porn but I can't seem to succeed. I really don't what to do, I'm in a bad place right now and I have no idea how I will be able to get back up.

Just a few minutes I PMO'd but for some reason my counter doesn't show up on my posts even though I can see it on my profile.

Any kind of help, ideas, suggestions etc. are more than welcome, I don't know if I can do this on my own...

Teens / Re: My struggle of quitting PMO
« on: March 23, 2016, 05:45:58 AM »
I'm sad to say that yesterday after 16 days of no PMO I relapsed and I relapsed really BAD. I binged for 6 hours before I O'd and then I went to sleep. Well, my alarm didn't go off in the morning so I missed my school and now I feel like shit. I feel so bad... I feel depressed and I don't know what to do with my life right now. I feel like I should just go cry in a corner or something :(

Teens / Re: My struggle of quitting PMO
« on: March 21, 2016, 11:03:38 AM »
I come here with good news and some mildly bad ones as well. The good news is that I've still been keeping away from porn as well as I can. The bad news is that yesterday I MO'd and today I MO'd TWICE... and the other bad thing is that today I peeked at some P pictures for a minute before I stopped. I don't know why, I just did it even though I know I shouldn't have done that. Oh well, at least I didn't look at those pictures for long or fap to them or watch any videos. For those reasons I'm not going to reset my counter because I don't want to count that as a relapse. I just have to keep my guard up better in the future.

I'm still experiencing some severe lack of motivation and that sucks. And the other problem is if I get unbearable urges to watch P and instead I MO then I just don't have energy to do anything and that sucks. But if I don't MO then I can't concentrate on my schoolwork because of my urges. I don't know what to do.

Teens / Re: My struggle of quitting PMO
« on: March 20, 2016, 10:19:57 AM »
Two hours ago I passed the two week milestone and that is very good. The last time I was able to go this long without PMO was almost a year ago (about 10-11 months) and I feel good on that regard. BUT lately I've been getting some really bad thoughts about this reboot, and I mean REALLY bad... The feeling that I'm missing a lot for not watching porn is coming back to me. I followed a few people that made 3D rendered pictures and comics and I became so addicted to their content. I used to check their blogs/websites almost daily to see if they had made something new. Now, I feel like I should go and check out all the new stuff but I'm not going to do that. I want to do it so badly but I'm not going to do it. Even if I didn't know about all that 3D stuff, I still feel like I'm missing all the new porn. I don't know, I think I'm depressed again... I just.. I just miss the feeling porn gives me, even though I'm well aware why I'm not letting myself feel that and I know that's the right decision for me, or that's what I think at least.

One other thing that is bringing me a lot of negative thoughts about this reboot is just the feeling of being afraid to love a human being. That's the truth, I'm afraid to let myself love a girl. But I of course love my parents, siblings and my really good friends but that's not the love I'm talking about. I'm just afraid to let myself get actually emotionally attached to a girl because I feel like I'm broken inside. Like I wrote earlier in my posts, I've had a few breakups in my life and two of those breakups were especially bad since I really loved those girls I were with, especially the other one. The other breakups hurt as well but not as much as those. I'm starting to think that I'm "too emotional". Whenever I break up with a girl I like very very much or love, it feels like a part of me dies inside. So, the reason why I'm afraid to love is that I'm just too afraid to once more lose someone I love or like very much. I know breakups are a normal part of life and I shouldn't take them so badly, but I just can't help it. Those breakups are just so damn difficult for me, I get depressed, unmotivated, passive, very sad and other shitty things as well. Because of this fear I feel like I'm missing a lot for not watching porn, even though I'm pretty sure the "reasoning" behind that is just my porn addicted brain. But the thing is, porn at least gives me some comfort and I don't get those bad feelings from porn that I get from real relationships when I break up with someone. Of course porn "gives" me other bad feelings but it feels like they aren't even closely as bad as the feelings I get from breakups.

I don't know what to do because one of my biggest reasons for rebooting is to get into a healthy relationship with someone I like or even love but I'm too afraid to even try. I just feel like the good feelings I get from a relationship aren't worth all the negative ones a breakup gives me... I don't know what to do.

Teens / Re: My struggle of quitting PMO
« on: March 16, 2016, 05:02:54 PM »
You say you don't want to date any girls until 1 month. Then you say you have really bad urges. I would advise you just to talk with girls anyway (without an intention of dating them), because this is such a great way to reduce urges. My relapses are all when I'm lonely.

Thx man for the advice and your reply, I appreciate it a lot! :)

During the past few days I haven't had that bad urges actually. During the last year I noticed that it's the 7th day with no PMO and MO that's the hardest and usually that's a Sunday because I tend to relapse on weekends and if I do I usually just do it again on Sunday and then I again try to stay away from P (I know that's a stupid mentality that I'm getting rid of). But because during Sundays I have the whole day for "chilling" I usually have the worst urges. Normally on Sundays I do schoolwork and just relax, which means watching TV-shows and/or playing some computer games. Often it also meant PMO but I'm hoping that's behind me now. So anyway, I thought to myself that if I again get very bad urges on Sundays, I would just MO without P or any fantasy since that actually really helps. I did this the last Sunday (the only time I MO'd after my last relapse) and I'm kind of okay with it. The only thing that I realized is that it kind of took away my energy for the rest of the day, so if I "have to" masturbate I should do that like during the evening or something like that. What happened last Sunday was that I actually got so horny that I couldn't concentrate on my schoolwork which I really needed to do. So I decided to use MO as a hotfix for that and it worked. But anyways I'll try to start talking to girls since that's something I kind of want to do since I want to become more confident around women and that just might be the best way to do that. I want to get to a point where when I see a cute girl looking at me smiling and I look back at her and then just go to talk to her without getting nervous or anything, I want that to become normal for me.

The days since my last post have gone mostly well I guess. I've had some urges but I've managed to hold my ground, so nothing too hard. I actually think that I get genuinely horny if I don't MO for a week or longer, since what I crave is the release and not specifically P. Of course when you're horny seeing a naked female body will always be enticing but I noticed that I didn't actually want to watch P, I would have much rather seen a real female and had sex with her.

I'm doing okay at school and the fact that I'm doing just "okay" is because I'm having some serious lack of motivation for some important courses which is bothering me a lot. But I'll try my best to get motivated and learn new things.

Overall everything is going well! I feel much more energetic and happier than 10 days ago. I also actually feel like I'm not as tired everyday than as I used to be. My motivation towards other things than school has improved, I've managed to do things that I should have done ages ago but I just hadn't been "able" to do them.

Ending this post with a wish that everything keeps going as well as things are going now and I hope everything would get even better!

Teens / Re: My struggle of quitting PMO
« on: March 12, 2016, 07:59:51 AM »
Now it's been 6 days since my last porn or masturbation session, so during the last 6 days I haven't played with myself at all. Right now I feel much much more energetic than usual. I also feel a lot more happy which is awesome! :) Yesterday when I ran to do some errands I noticed that I felt a lot more confident somehow. I saw a few pretty/cute girls yesterday and every time I saw a girl like that I felt like I could have just walked to her and talked. Even though I'm very social I've never been able to just go talk to random girls but right now I feel like I could do that. The only "problem" is that I actually don't want to do that and that's because I want to be at least a MONTH free from porn until I try to "get girls". I know that casual talk is fine and it doesn't have to lead to anything but my reasoning behind my decision is that if the girl who I talk to seems really nice then of course I would ask for her number but the thing is that if I get her number than things might get somewhere and I don't want that yet. I don't want to miss any good opportunities with girls because of porn anymore. I've decided that the next time I go on a date etc. I will be much more recovered from porn. The next time I get to have sex I don't even want to have to think about my ED or anything like that. I don't mean that "next time I want it to be perfect", what I want from the next time is sex where I don't have to fear about ANYTHING porn related.

Anyway, like I said before I really haven't had much urges during these six days until now. Today I got some REALLY bad urges. It took a lot to not give in but I triumphed!!! It felt like mental torture really, it was really bad. These urges lasted for about 2 to 3 hours but it's nice to see that if I survive that they go away since right now I have no urges. Usually during times like these I would just MO but I want to try to MO less during my reboot than I used to so that's not an option. But I'll keep MO as a "last line of defence" even though I'm aware of the chaser effect. It's just that when I MO my urges to watch porn go away for at least the rest of the day. During those urges my mind was all about what I was "missing out on" because I wasn't watching porn and also about the "great" feeling it would give me. I know that these urges might just get worse for a while and I will probably start to "miss" porn more and more but I just have stay strong! Right now I have a good start for a real reboot and I really don't want to mess it up.

I've decided for at least a while I will stay away from weed unless I can smoke it somewhere where watching porn is not an option and where I have some real company so I couldn't watch it even if I wanted to. I've thought about weed quite much and I'm certain that I'm not addicted to it. I've smoked it occasionally for about 2 to 3 years and when I have those longer periods where I don't smoke it, I don't have any "withdrawals". Like I've said before, weed for me is like alcohol to a "normal" person. I've done some research and actually alcohol generally seems to be more addictive than weed.

I've read about people making lists of things they want to accomplish when they are free from porn, some motivation I guess. I thought I'll make one for myself so I can come here to read it when I get urges or negative thoughts about rebooting.

- Be really able to talk to any girls anywhere
- Be more confident about myself
- Be more productive
- Procrastinate less
- Take better care of myself physically
- Enjoy the little good things in life more
- Be more social
- Be able to have a healthy relationship with a girl
- Be able to really enjoy sex without ED

Right now those things are the only ones I can think of but I think that's plenty enough.

In conclusion, I'm doing well and feeling great! I hope this is the time I defeat porn FOR GOOD!!!

Teens / Re: My struggle of quitting PMO
« on: March 10, 2016, 04:22:20 PM »
Wow man there is a lot happening for you here. The main thing I have to say is I strongly suggest you considering why you want to reboot. You have a lot of thoughts going on in your head at the moment and I think you just need to sit down and work it out. I find a great way to do this for myself is to write my thoughts down in a journal when I'm feeling troubled or like I have too much going on in my head.

While you doing this I also strongly suggest considering why you want to do reboot, if you actually want to reboot. I also encourage you to consider your usage of weed and masturbation as both are addictive.

The only advice I can offer you is that true beauty in women is not found just by attractiveness or body type (bust, skinniness ect.) but their personality. There are so many beautiful people around you, you just don't realise they are there. There was this girl I knew. She was Canadian in Australia, was a feminist and vegan, didn't shave her legs, wasn't exactly skinny and definitelty didn't have supermodel features. But she was so nice, genuine, friendly and just wonderful to be around that she remains one of the most beaufiful people I have ever met. I really am not trying to be mean in what I'm about to say, I'm just trying to open your eyes:
It's not sad that there isn't beautiful people around you. It's sad that you can't see them as beautiful.

I'll leave you on that and I hope you gets some clarity in your mind.

A big thank you for your reply once more! Sorry it took me this long to answer. Anyways, I've been doing a lot of thinking and some researching online and I've been doing great after last Sunday which was when I last PMO'd. After that I deleted all of my P from my computer that I had collected during my vacation. As I expected my vacation was full of PMO binges and I'm not proud of that. The first couple times were "amazing" at least back then. Now I think something incredible has happened and I don't know how. I've been able to be without P or MO or eding etc. for FOUR days. I know four days is really not much but it's much for me since that's the longest I've gone without P AND masturbation in a long time.

After last Sunday the first two days just somehow went by without almost no thinking about P. I don't know how that happened but I'm glad it happened. Then I realized that I need to take this SERIOUSLY. So I went online to look for some motivation (success stories and tips about rebooting) and I found a forum post somewhere about acquiring the "Porn is not an option" mindset. I thought about that phrase for quite a while and I realized it was true, it indeed was true. What I also realized is that for a while I might "miss" P but that would be something I just would need to deal with. Now I think that I TRULY want a life without porn. I've been feeling so much better even after just four days that I don't want to relapse ever again. I know that I might relapse at some point but I'm going to fight every urge I get with everything I got. Actually I'm just gonna remind myself about the "Porn is not an option" mindset since it has helped me today very much. Today was the first day in these four days that I actually got some urges and I really didn't even need to "fight" them off, I just reminded myself about all the positive things a pornfree life will give me. I don't want porn anymore. Doesn't matter how "good" it feels, I want a real girl instead, not some f**king pixels on a screen...

Right now I feel like my emotional state is much much better, I'm happier and things seem to be good.

I just tried to write everything down here that's on my mind right now. I hope it all makes some sort of sense. Thank you for your support guys and wish me luck!!!

Teens / Re: My struggle of quitting PMO
« on: February 25, 2016, 10:37:43 AM »
In any porn addict's brain, what we are really addicted to is the dopamine rush. This dopamine rush comes when we see triggers, when we keep looking/searching for triggers and when we watch porn. An extensive amount is released when we orgasm to porn. So what our brains are actually craving is the dopamine. We aren't craving porn, we are craving the feelings (dopamine rush) porn gives us when we go to watch it. Theres a lot of explanation as to why we enjoy it so much it's got to do with desensitization, the addiction circuit and how dopamine is so closely related to our brains survival instincts.

My father described an addiction to me as the use of anyting where we cannot function normally without it. So, we are addicted to sleep, food, drinking ect. because they are all normal things. Due to porn's unnatural addictive nature (much like how our bodies are not designed to indulge in massive amounts of drugs, alchohol or junk food) the body has a hard time saying no and controlling it so it does not harm us. I could go on and on and on about how porn is harmful, but the main reason is brain conditioning. Look that up on the main page "The adolescent brain meets high speed internet porn".

I have word of caution for you: it is likely that you may be replacing the source of your dopamine hit from porn to masturbation and weed. You have placed guilt and shame on porn, but your brain still needs that hit so it will turn to masturbation (and orgasm) for that high so it can function normally. The same goes with the high weed gives you.

You cant solve a problem with a problem. What you are heading for here is having a masturbation and weed addiction based upon a porn addiction. Instead of being rebooted from porn and enjoying some other area of life like romance or productivity.

Like it was discussed earlier in your forum, any form of dopamine hit associated with porn (or getting high) will do nothing good for you in terms of beating this addiction. As masturbation also releases dopamine, this is like a soft form or relapse. You are still fueling your brain with copious amounts of dopamine to function properly. Another thing about masturbation is that, not only does it stand as a potential replacement addiction, but it can also trigger the chaser effect, which is simply the low from a dopamine hit, which will make you want to achieve the same high again by any means necessary (including weed, masturbation or PMO). This is why so many rebooters (like myself) will go hardcore, and replace the dopamine rush from porn with a dopamine rush from exercise, sport or playing and instrument.

Get some more education about this man. Be very careful not to give yourself more problems than you already cant deal with. Stand up to this porn addiction, commit to the reboot and start treating yourself this addiction like that past.

Firstly, thank you for your reply! Regarding porn and the dopamine rush, I really do believe you, at least mostly. In the last 6 months I've noticed that what I seek from porn are those sessions where I just edge and edge until I can't hold it anymore and I have an orgasm. It just feels so weird that a chemical in our brains is behind this (of course, I know) because before realizing that I had a porn addiction I just thought that I adored the female body so much that I watched a lot of porn. I've never really liked the rough hardcore porn, almost every time I watch porn it's very "sensual" if that's a word I can even use when talking about porn. What I mean is that I like to see two or more people together enjoying themselves in a not degrading and human way if you know what I mean. I just like that too much, even though I know it's bad for me. I just find myself asking the same questions over and over again: "Why does porn have to be so harmful for me?" and "Why does something that feels so good have so bad consequences?" Sometimes I even question the purpose of this whole reboot because often when I try to live without porn I just feel like something is missing... and yes I've tried to replace that feeling with exercising, really diving into schoolwork and socializing more but those things really don't help. I've also tried having a girlfriend and that somewhat helps, I can go for longer periods of time without really wanting porn and getting that sad feeling that something is missing, but eventually that feeling comes into my mind and it doesn't leave until I give in to porn. But after giving into porn I feel bad because I know what it's doing to me. This feels like an eternal struggle and I don't what to do. Often I think: "Okay if I successfully get rid of porn then what?" I feel like the biggest reason why I try to get rid of porn is my ED which seems to be completely random these days when I'm with a real girl, and that makes me question the source of my ED, is it because of porn or just something else?

I've watched and read about the science behind porn addiction and I've also read many posts from rebooters. I won't say that I even closely know everything there is to know about this addiction but I know a fair deal. I thought that knowing about those things would help me overcome this addiction but that hasn't happened. I don't know what to do anymore..

I think you misunderstood my weed usage, what I meant is that I like to smoke some the same way "normal people" like to drink alcohol from time to time. The high I get from porn is very much different compared to weed so I at least feel like I'm not trying to replace that porn high with a weed high but of course I might be wrong. The problem is that when I smoke weed that makes my brain want porn even more, I want to be able to smoke weed once in a while without watching porn.

Regarding the masturbation, I really don't know for sure what the basis of it is for me. I think that lately maybe half of the times I've masturbated are because I was genuinely horny and the other half is just to get a high that's close to the high I get from porn. The biggest difference right know is the every time I orgasm from just masturbating I get a really relieved feeling because I didn't watch porn. I don't feel bad or ashamed or anything else like that after masturbating without porn or fantasies.

The thing about romance for me is somewhat sad. I feel like I won't be able to enjoy any kind of romance etc. because of my school. Like I said I already once had a breakup because my school took so much of my time. I can't handle an another breakup because of my school and in fact I feel like I can't handle a breakup no matter the reason. I've had almost 10 breakups in my life, some of them weren't that bad, a couple were bad and especially one was REALLY bad. The really bad one was so bad that I became depressed for a few months and then the depression went away for a while, but it came back from time to time. That breakup made me question my life, it made me question everything. I have never felt so much pain emotionally as I did then and I just think that I won't be able to handle that kind of pain again. It took me over a year to get over the girl I was with before... Breakups take a big toll with me and for the last few months I've felt that relationships aren't even worth the awesome feelings they give you, because there's a high chance that the relationship will fail and the feeling that comes from that is so horrible for me since I'm a very emotional dude. But I guess there lies another motivator for me to get rid of porn, the reason for the worst breakup was ultimately my porn use, even though I didn't know it at the time. What I mean is that porn changed my behavior so much that I became a somewhat of a douche bag, even though I think that I'm sincerely a nice guy. When I realized the reason for that breakup a year ago, I told myself: "Never again". Again all this makes my reboot much more troublesome. Porn makes me feel "good", relationships make me really feel good when they work, but I can't have them both even if I wanted to. Again I don't know what to do..

I have read about the dopamine porn gives you and the dopamime that comes from other things. Many people think that dopamine with a reboot is not bad unless it's from porn. Of course they might be wrong but I somewhat feel the same way. Or should people just try to live life without dopamine to get rid of porn? Because that doesn't seem like a life to me.

Again, thank you Sampson Munk and pfree1805 (even though I didn't quote your text) for taking the time to read my post and reply to it, it really means a lot! I'm sorry if I seem whiny, I just wanted to honestly express my feelings.

PS: Sorry if there are some grammar mistakes. My native language isn't English so there's always a chance for mistakes :P

EDIT: One other thing I just remembered. In real life I always feel like that the girl's I'm with aren't "hot" enough. I don't know if this is because of porn or not, but that just makes me feel frustrated and sad at the same time, since very often I see girls that are super hot and I just think about if I will ever be able to be with a super hot girl, even though I think of myself as a handsome and fit guy, maybe I just lack the courage to get the hotter girls? And why this is especially bad is that with porn I can always "be" with super hot girls. If I can't get those super hot girls in real life, I just turn to porn..... Again, I don't know what to do. Life seems dull without porn at the moment, does it get any better?

Teens / Re: My struggle of quitting PMO
« on: February 24, 2016, 08:23:39 AM »
It's been almost six days since I REALLY watched porn. These six days have been quite difficult, because I feel horny every day. I've used my "last line of defence" every day during these six days, which is just masturbating until I orgasm, which works. I know that I should try to not orgasm but that seems to be the only solution to my urges to watch porn.

To be honest I haven't been completely clean from porn, since I have seen some pictures and gif's, so you could say I have had many "peeks". Usually I get lost somewhere on the internet and find myself looking at either porn pics/gifs or just some softcore stuff. These peaks last for a few minutes and then I stop and just masturbate until I orgasm without any fantasies etc. I also know that this is not good, but it's still a lot better than watching hardcore porn videos and fapping and orgasming to it.

I really don't know what would help me in fighting these urges. If I get horny or just feel like watching porn, these feelings wont go away unless I orgasm. I would be more than happy if I could move into a state of mind where I could MO only two or three times per week as a start, then lower the amount of MO'ing over time. I know that this will make my reboot slower than just going fully into no MO mode, but I can't seem to really keep away from porn without MO.

One other thing that is starting to bother me is my usage of weed (I hope it's okay to talk about that here). What I mean by that is the fact that I haven't smoked any in a while and the reason for that is that when I smoke weed my urges to PMO get so strong that I can't resist them and I just give in. Why this thing is bothering me is because I like to smoke weed from time to time (on some weekends). I don't really like to drink alcohol that much, so if I feel like "getting away" I usually smoke some weed because I like that so much more than alcohol. Lately I haven't smoked weed for those reasons I wrote, which I don't like. I have a week long holiday starting next weekend and I would love to smoke some weed but I don't know if I'm strong enough to smoke but not PMO.

So, in conclusion I'm doing okay I guess. I have had a lot of schoolwork lately so that's also one of the reasons why I've been MO'ing so much since I can't really concentrate if I'm horny. Also there are things in my school right now that have me very stressed out and even depressed actually, and the fact that I'm trying to get rid of porn isn't helping since I usually used porn to help me get my thoughts somewhere else from my troubles in life.

One other thing: I've been thinking about life without porn lately (again) and the thought if living without porn sometimes worries me because I like it so much. I know how harmful it's for me but I can't just seem to get rid of this feeling. I haven't been able to go on dates or anything because of my school (one of my relationships a few months ago ended because school took so much of my time) and I just fear that this might happen again if I try to get into a relationship. Ehh I don't know, I have mixed feelings about many things right now and my text is probably kind of random.

Anyway, here I am going forward and hoping that things will get better. I just don't understand why porn has to be so harmful, just WHY!?!

Teens / Re: My struggle of quitting PMO
« on: February 08, 2016, 01:31:11 PM »
Wow, the last few months have been REALLY bad. I have PMO'd a lot and the only reason I've had for it is because I have been lacking any motivation to stay away from it for some reason. I know that isn't a very good excuse for it but that's the only one I can think of. Well now again I want to really quit and just now I deleted the P stash from my computer that I had been collecting. I just felt like I had enough. But looking back I realize that staying away from P will be VERY hard for me, since I had such a huge relapse. I'm in a very dire need of motivation, tips and help on how to overcome this thing. It feels so stupid that I have tried to quit for over a year now without succeeding, even though I have made huge progress. Well, here's hoping for a better future! :)

Teens / Re: My struggle of quitting PMO
« on: November 11, 2015, 11:45:39 AM »

One guy got rid of porn by first letting himself PMO once every week for a while, then once a month, then once every two months and so on. I have thought about that strategy but I don't know if it would work.

That does not really make much sense to me.By using that strategy you are just abstaining from porn not quiting it, that is not very hard and not the right thing to do.By telling your brain that sooner or later you will do that again ,you are just fooling yourself and on the day you are allowed to relapse you will overcompensate.
If one wants to quit any addiction,he must first realize how bad it is for him and how it derails him from his path to a fulfilling life.After that naturally the idea of never doing it again should manifest itself.Like right now i hate the idea of porn i never want to do it again because i know it is bad and i eventually will need to quit it.By starting as soon as possible you are sooner going to fix the problems caused by it.I made relapse the biggest fear in my life.Right now i am not even scared of death.But relapsing and having to start counting AGAIN from 0!No way man.And i am not even fooling around,that is just the power of perspective.And i got to this point thanks to my willingness to improve myself and actually learned how to do it by watching some self-improvement videos on youtube.Just picture your future self that hasn't PMO'd for months and is now confident in himself because he IS the badass that can control his sexual energy.Start watching some self-improvement videos on youtube.I suggest you start with this guy and his videos:
Set your own standards for life (in this case no PMO and perfecting oneself must be your religion) and live by those standarts and do not let anything stop you because you are a MAN, and men get shit done RIGHT NOW.By taking immediate action towards your goal,no matter how small of a step it is, the closer you are to success and happiness and fulfiling the goal in the end(and become a badass in the process who does not bow down to PUSSY ADDICTION and can do anything with the POWER OF HIS MIND!!!)

Thank you again very much for your support, I really appreciate it! :) After your two posts here I have had much more motivation to stay away from porn. I haven't been able to stay away from masturbation though. I just think that if I "have to" get the urges out of my head and nothing else works, then masturbation is IMO much better than PMO. At least because I can MO without watching or thinking about anything, just focusing on the sensations. I'm able to get a good erection without any kind of fantasy or artificial stimulation, which is great!

Today I peeked at some porn pictures for like a minute or two and then stopped and MO'd without any P or things like that. I think I'm almost completely healed regarding my ED which was a problem earlier this year. The fact that I can get hard by JUST touching myself makes me think that I no longer have ED. But I still need to get the porn urges out of my head. The bad thing is that my longest streak this far is 21 days without PMO or MO or edging. I need to go much much longer than that to really break free from the urges. But the slow rebooting with more or less frequent relapses have still helped a lot! As some people say, even a day without PMO is helping your brain to reboot and I think that's true. Before I realized that I had an addiction I PMO'd practically every day. If there was a day that I didn't PMO for some reason, the next day I watched porn for like the whole day and just kept edging until the end of the day when I would let myself cum.

So, the situation is much better than before! Just two days ago I was quite easily able to have sex with the girl I have been seing. I got like a 50% erection just by touching her and then she gave me a hand to get my dick harder and after that I got like a 90% erection. I didn't go soft during sex or anything and the sex was great! But I wish that I would get to a point where I get a 100% erection just from making out with a girl or seeing a girl without clothes or things like that. That's the goal I'm reaching for and I want to get there!

Thanks for everyone who have been supporting me! I know that my reboot has been really shaky because of all the relapses, but I'm really better now and still going forward. Again, keep wishing me luck guys :)

PS: Of course I also wish luck to all of those who are trying to get rid of this life ruining addiction, stay strong brothers and keep on going!!!

Teens / Re: My struggle of quitting PMO
« on: November 08, 2015, 06:32:10 AM »
If you want to quit you need to change your whole view of the situation.You need to picture yourself years ahead of now.Picture your future self who hasn't PMO'd since today and if you feel that that future version of you has doubts about the fact that he has to live the rest of his days in this world "PMO free" , then its clear that you do not "TRULY" want to quit this.You truly want something when you do it , not just by thinking about it.Yes PMO feels good and when you feel the urge you just do it cuz for the moment it seems like it  doesn't cost you anything but it takes its toll for that and you know it.If you truly want to quit then you need to accept the fact that you will never ever be able to touch your penis while looking at a screen.I learned about this problem 2 years ago and i didn't take it seriously and as you can see i am just about 1 week in my reboot but by writing this i am further reinforcing the idea that i will never PMO ever again.You can bet on that ! Start this with me and when my counter hits 365 days yours will be 359 man! WE CAN DO THIS!

Thank you man for the support! I really appreciate it :) I think you are right about trying to reinforce the idea of not PMO'ing ever again. It's just really hard you know... For so long I have enjoyed the rush of stimulation I get from watching porn. The feeling is so good that it's hard to not want it. It's hard to think about never feeling that again. I want to quit PMO'ing so I can enjoy real sex as much as possible. But it's just hard. Sometimes I get a bad feeling because I deleted my huge porn collection at the start of this year. I had almost 800 gigs of porn on my computer, I went through so many premium sites through the years and collected the videos and pics that I liked. I know it's a good thing that I deleted all of that porn, but during those times when I feel an urge to PMO I get a feeling that it was a mistake. But when I don't have any urges I know that it was the right decision. I think you could compare this to a person who has been using some very addictive drugs. Of course those drugs make him/her feel very good when he/she uses them, but after that that person knows that using those drugs isn't good for him/her. Even though they want to quit using, they still will sometimes "miss" the feeling of course. This is what I'm talking about. Many times I wonder if I could live a life where my porn consumption is minimal but not obsolete but I know that's not realistic. Why must porn be so bad for me? I like it so much but I know it isn't good for me.

One guy got rid of porn by first letting himself PMO once every week for a while, then once a month, then once every two months and so on. I have thought about that strategy but I don't know if it would work.

But anyways, the last 4 days have been really bad. On Thursday I relapsed, on Friday I relapsed and just a few minutes ago I relapsed. So three relapses in four days. It's hard not be hard on myself. I know that it isn't good if I'm too hard on myself when I relapse or if I start to think too negatively every time, but I don't know what to do. Being hard on myself could help me not watch any porn, I don't know.

Well I just have to try to think that I can overcome this addiction even though I'm not always sure I can do that. The grip of porn is much much stronger that I ever thought. This has taught me what being addicted to something really feels like. Before I realized that I had a porn addiction I REALLY couldn't understand the concept of being REALLY addicted to something, but now I know. It's not a nice thing. I hate this addiction but still a small part of me "loves it" if anyone knows what I mean.

What kind of motivation do you guys use when you are abstaining from porn? I think I'm in need of some tips on this.

So, I'm going to keep going forward hoping for the best. I think I need some new tools and aids for my journey to being PMO free but I don't know anything new. Many people have tried to suggest things and I have listened to their advice and used it as much as I can  but some advice just doesn't apply to every person.

Thanks to anyone who takes the time to read this and answer! :)

Teens / Re: My struggle of quitting PMO
« on: November 05, 2015, 02:31:54 PM »
Here I am once more reporting that I have failed. I just failed BIG time... I fapped and watched porn for about 3 hours and I can't even remember the last time I have watched it for so long. My previous relapses from the last 3 months or so have mostly been like max 30 minutes of PMO.  I don't know why this happened, I was just weak when the urges came. And now I feel like somewhat "empty", not sad or even angry, just empty.

I had thought that the worst was already behind me but for some reason during this and the previous week my urges have been worse than before. It doesn't help that I'm really stressed out because of my school and also the fact that I just can't have sex with the girl I have been seeing. This time I think the problem is not related to porn, because I can get myself hard alone without any kind of "assistance" but when I'm with her I constantly think about "Am I going to get a hard on or not?" or something like that. I'm not fully relaxed or something because of that. And it's really hard to break from that cycle I'm telling you.

During the last minutes of my PMO session I noticed that watching porn and jerking off wasn't even so exciting. Maybe my dick was just already a bit sore or I just watched too much of it, I don't know. Even the orgasm wasn't good.

But well, I'm just going to try and keep going, there's no other option!

Teens / Re: My struggle of quitting PMO
« on: November 02, 2015, 09:06:35 AM »
So after 10 days with a couple of "peeks" or "minor relapses" I relapsed bad enough that I felt like resetting my counter. So here I am writing about my failure once more. The 7-10 days of no PMO seems to be the amount of days that I can go somewhat easily without porn but after that it becomes really hard. I'm just going to keep on going because there is nothing else to do. Although sometimes a part of me doesn't even want to try to not watch porn but that's probably quite natural. I still need to keep on going!

Teens / Re: My struggle of quitting PMO
« on: October 05, 2015, 05:56:01 AM »
So after 15 days of no PMO I relapsed. The relapse wasn't as bad as the ones I have had before but I would still count it as a relapse. I fapped to "porn pictures" for a little over an hour and then I O'd. So the silver lining here is that I didn't watch any videos and that I didn't fap for several hours. I actually don't know why I kept on going for so long, after 10 minutes of fapping to those pictures they didn't feel so exciting anymore. I could just have stopped looking at them and finished without any P. But what's done is done, I just need to keep on going!

Teens / Re: My struggle of quitting PMO
« on: September 29, 2015, 07:46:55 AM »
I keep having these minor relapses. I just got home and I booted up my computer. After a while I was looking at some pornographic pictures and I watched them for like 5 minutes and fapped but after that 5 minutes I closed them all and finished soon after without any P. I guess this is still much much better than watching videos and finishing to a video but it would be better if I didn't have these minor relapses, or any kind of relapses.. 

Teens / Re: My struggle of quitting PMO
« on: September 27, 2015, 08:51:11 AM »
True that bro, stay on track no matter what!  As for your problem over the weekends, I'll give you some simple and great advice.  Focus all your energy on planning how your going to keep your guard up over the weekend.  Think about what really makes you tick and what your triggers are and plan out exactly how you're going to avoid them.  Also I would really recommend that you get a hobby that you enjoy.  Don't take up something that's gonna bring stress into your life, bring something into your life that will improve it.  Some simple examples are reading, working out, making new friends, taking a weekend class, build something, etc.  Many people tend to say "take up an instrument", but I find this is counter productive.  I took up the guitar for a decent amount of time, and it just got me frustrated and lead to me eventually relapsing.  Those two things should help you greatly in your reboot process.  Also keep in mind that things will and should get a lot worse before they get better.  I'm currently in a pretty bad place, but I'm doing my best to keep a level head and remember what I'm fighting for.  Have it in the back of your mind that if you feed into a trigger then you have essentially relapsed.  This mindset will help you steer clear of triggers that ultimately lead to relapses.  It's not easy in the least, but it can be done.  Stay strong bro, you're doing great!

That's some good advice! I will start to plan my weekends in a way that I won't even have time to watch P. It's still hard because from every Monday to Sunday I have LOTS of things to do and Sunday is the one day that I really have some time to do something alone. I'm a person who needs some time alone even though I'm very social and I like to be with other people. I just have to plan my Sundays right. Still the problem here is when I'm alone on Sundays, it would be better if I'm not alone but I just need some alone time at least once a week.

I don't know if I can get a new hobby because my school takes most of my time and the time that I have after school and homework I tend to spend with I girl that I have been seeing.

I think that the worst might already be behind me, the urges I get sometimes aren't as bad as they were before. Feeding any triggers is bad as you said, I'm trying to avoid doing that. Thank you very much for your support, I hope you stay strong as well and get rid of this addiction :)

But to other matters, I just had a "minor relapse". I looked at some pictures online and fapped for some time but then I just decided to close all those pictures and finish without P. I know that's not good, but it's still better than a real PMO session. I'm not resetting my counter now, because I don't want to be too harsh on myself.

Teens / Re: My struggle of quitting PMO
« on: September 20, 2015, 05:43:09 AM »
Well I just relapsed after 7 days of no PMO. I watched some P for a little over an hour and then I O'd. I really don't know what to say. The weekends seem to be the most challenging, especially Sundays. Usually I have a lot of alone time on Sundays and that's when the urges start to come back. Even though I relapsed I have seen some improvements. My erections are better and they come quicker and watching P doesn't give me the same dopamine rush that it gave me let's say 6 months ago. And by that I mean that I'm starting to get more aroused by real girls, not fake ones. So even though during my reboot I have relapsed many many times, I'm starting to see some real progress. I need to just keep on trying.

Teens / Re: My struggle of quitting PMO
« on: September 13, 2015, 05:33:41 AM »
So after 10 days I had a minor relapse. I viewed some porn pictures and watched like one minute of porn videos but I didn't cum to porn, I just went to the bathroom to finish.

I'm going to continue like I have done many many times before, 10 days without PMO is a big thing for me.

Teens / Re: My struggle of quitting PMO
« on: September 02, 2015, 11:41:51 AM »
It had been almost 4 days since my last relapse and now I relapsed again. I was doing some Java code on my computer as homework from school and I got to a point where I had to take a break. So I decided to browse Facebook and there I saw a trigger and oh boy (It was a stupid "fitness workout video" that showed a hot girl). I don't know if I could have still resisted the urge to PMO but I didn't even try at that point because I already got the dopamine rush and I wanted more so badly. So here I am, I just reset my counter.

I have been really busy with school but all of my homework requires a computer so there's always a risk. I would use the K9 web protection to block my access to porn but that messes up with NVIDIA GeForce Experience so I can't use it because of that. I really don't know what I should do differently. I need to use the computer for homework but when I'm using my computer the urge to PMO is almost always present, at least a little. If someone has any ideas, please tell me!!! :)

Teens / Re: My struggle of quitting PMO
« on: August 29, 2015, 06:16:33 PM »
So after a rough start I managed to be almost 7 days without porn or masturbation but now I failed. 7 days is good but not nearly good enough, I need to to better!!

Teens / Re: My struggle of quitting PMO
« on: August 07, 2015, 07:51:29 AM »
So, I haven't posted here for a long time but now I feel like I need to. I broke up with my girlfriend at the beginning of July and after that I PMO'd a lot. Not as much as I used to but still quite a lot. Porn didn't have anything to do with the break up, the relationship just wasn't working for us. So after the breakup I didn't immediately feel sad of depressed, it took a few days or a week for those feelings to catch up with me. Fortunately I'm now feeling good since we weren't together for long so I didn't get too attached to her. Still after the breakup I felt bad enough to start PMO'ing again but now I feel like I need to step up and stop. I "had my fun" and now is time to get back on the saddle and get out of this addiction. I know I have said that many many times but I really don't know what else to say. I just have to keep on trying and try to strengthen my resolve. It's going to be hard but I'm hoping that it would be easier since I got into a school and I will start studying soon. My goal is to keep my mind occupied with school related stuff and social life. Finally I will have some routine and things to do and I really think this will help me a lot.

I will try to start posting here at least weekly. Wish me luck guys! :)

Teens / Re: My struggle of quitting PMO
« on: May 03, 2015, 01:11:22 PM »
Hey man,

Like you I am experiencing great troubke with relapses. Stay strong! I know how pulled down you feel. I know have made myself a mindset that I have to and will stop myself from relapsing because I have been stuck in a depression and need to get out.

Remember what you are in this for. You're breaking free. All those times you tried and failed, now you are able to go for weeks without P or M. Thats a damn fine achievement my friend.

To escape from the loop of relapse I have a couple of tips for you:
-WRTIE YOURSELF SOME RULES. Seriously discipline yourself on these rules. They help with something else to say no when you have those irresistible urges. They also keep you on track and stop you from deliberately looking for triggers.

-KEEP BUSY. Really important. I'm sure this is the same for you, but I tend to easily give in when I have time on my hands. If you have a hobby or keep youself busy with study or any other commitment things will get easier.

-ADDRESS URGES INSTANTLY. This one is part of my rules. If you can catch it early it's easier. Distract youself with something engaging or IMMEDIATELY take a cold shower or some physical activity like running or explosive pushups. This must be done straight away without hesitation if it's going to work.

- STAY FOCUSED, STRONG, AND HAPPY! Remember how awesome it is that you are breaking free. Concentrate on your goals and what you are escaping. Imagine how great things would be without worry. Tbh I'm really excited about that time. Life will be amazing for both you and I. But keep your chin up and keep pushing through the tough times to get there :)

Best of luck my friend,

Thank you very much for your kind words and good tips! It really means a lot to me :)

I always try to think of something to do so I wont be tempted to PMO but the problem for me is the fact that I really don't have many things to do. As I have said before I'm at the moment unemployed and not in a school. I'm hoping to get in a school and start studying there next autumn. So anyway, most of my days consist of being home at my computer. Usually I play games alone or with my friends or watch youtube videos or tv shows and three times a week I go to gym to work out. All of that is okay for me but the problem comes when I have no new videos or episodes to watch, I have played enough for one day and I have already been to the gym or the day isn't one of the work out days and I start to feel bored. That's when my thoughts turn to porn even when I don't want them to. And if I entertain those thoughts even for a little bit it becomes really hard to stop myself of thinking of porn more and more and eventually relapsing. My latest relapse was almost exactly like that. I got the idea of watching porn when I was browsing Facebook and I saw a picture of a hot girl and then I started to entertain the idea of watching porn. After that I started to look for some pictures of girls and I started to masturbate. After a couple of hours I was basically watching porn pictures and later I found myself watching hardcore porn videos and oh boy did I binge. I watched porn for like 5 or 6 hours. Before I started to watch porn I tried to remind myself of the really bad feeling I would get afterwards. It didn't help at all since I had already entertained the idea of watching porn even for a little. When I was watching porn and fapping I felt really good of course. I started to download pictures and videos and I felt like "Why did I even want to quit PMO since this feels so awesome!?! I'll download some good shit so I can fap to them later". Well after I was finished I felt like shit, I literally felt so bad. I couldn't believe I had relapsed, I didn't want to believe it but I had to. I really couldn't write a long post about my relapse right after so I figured that now would be a good time.

During those 22 days that I managed to stay away from PMO I masturbated to orgasm ONCE and that actually felt really good and I didn't feel anything bad after that. The reason I MO'd was my urge to PMO at that time and I decided to step away from my computer and get things done in the "old fashioned way". I even made sure that I didn't fantasize about anything, I just focused on the sensations and it worked for me at least! But the biggest contributor to my abstinence of PMO was the girl I have been seeing. I have told her about my porn addiction as I have said before and she has been REALLY supportive. There have been many times that I would have relapsed without her. Of course when I'm with her I don't have any urges to PMO but when I'm alone and I get an urge to PMO I instantly message her and I tell her about what I'm feeling right now. Her support has saved many days and I'm really thankful. She even took it really well when I told her that I relapsed.

Recently I have been thinking about the effects of sex on my reboot since we have had sex quite many times. My erections have been good, not as good as I would like them to be but good enough to have sex easily. I know that orgasms might be bad for me but it's really hard to resist having sex with her :D But on the other hand I have been really thinking about her as a person. Her personality is so great, she's funny, happy, motivated and many other things which I like a lot! I also think that she is pretty and cute but I don't know if I'm "happy" with her body. Her weight is normal so nothing wrong there but I don't know, I wish she had bigger boobs and a better ass. I know that it wouldn't be a good thing to stop seeing her because of these things since she can't do anything about them and I don't want to stop seeing her, she really is a "one in a million" girl in a totally positive way at least in my opinion. My biggest problem is seeing hotter girls with bigger boobs and better asses so often in real life and then I start to wish that "my" girl would be as hot as the others. I don't know if this is because of porn or what but it really drives me crazy sometimes. Why can't I be happy with what I got? Although my feelings for her seem to be a bit mixed at the moment. When I'm not with her I don't miss her much (okay the longest time we have spent without seeing each other is two days) but when I'm with her I really enjoy her company and I just like to be close to her and make her feel good among other things. Can my reboot make my feelings for people change temporarily or affect them in some way?

Wow that was a long post! :o If someone takes their time to read and reply I would be really grateful! Thank you :)

PS: Sorry if there are some grammar mistakes, I'm trying my best to write in English but sometimes it's a bit hard :P

Teens / Re: My struggle of quitting PMO
« on: May 01, 2015, 07:59:59 PM »
This is a really sad moment for me. After 22 days of no PMO I relapsed, I f**king relapsed. I can't believe it. The urge was too strong and I couldn't resist but afterwards I feel like shit. Why did I have to give in? WHY?

Well, once more I'm going to continue and hope for the best...

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