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Topics - LLTJR

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Ages 40 and up / First post ... finally
« on: September 11, 2014, 07:59:01 PM »
This is my first post and I am glad to be here ... finally. The "great porn experiment" TED talk made a big impression on me and that was 6 months and several major porn/masturbation episodes ago. The fact is that I have had monthly episodes of some sort for over 30 years and I am choosing 9/11 to declare freedom from terrorism from the influence and effect of porn in my life.

Though outwardly there is no indication that my life at 52 years, 28 years married, four kids raised, a respectable professional reputation built, is anything but on target and on track, I have deep regret and about the energy, heart, time, attention, integrity, self-respect, and personal power I have lost through the years at the hand of the cycles of porn/M that I have engaged in. It is a sick tragedy and at the same time a lot of failed efforts to change that have brought me to this point.

I have put this posting off for some time with the confidence that I can yet beat it using yet another method (I feel I have tried them all). At the same time I have never opened up to more than a few trusted guys in my church about how I have suffered with it. Let today be a new day and a way that I can make a fresh start.

I was struck by a piece of advice on this site regarding the intention to make porn a non-possibility for the rest of my life. I can honestly say I am not there but realize I would like to get there, asap. Any thoughts about getting to that level of conviction? I have actually done it with a few other things in my life (sugar consumption) and have reaped the benefits. I would like to apply it now to the very thing that reduces me to a loaf of bread--the power that porn has to take me over and make me a slave.

OK, today 9/11 is my day of a new start. Here we go. Thank you to all who might read this and offer your experience and encouragement.

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