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Topics - CrazyGopher

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Ages 30-39 / Keeping my feet on the ground
« on: March 19, 2016, 10:16:37 AM »
Well, here I am with a new journal. Things have changed a lot for me since my last post, and it just seemed too inconsistent to keep posting in the same one. It's not even related to my reboot, because I haven't changed my approach or started watching P again or anything like that. No changes there, but a bunch of unrelated difficulty in life came all at once and I'm not dealing with it that well to be honest. Trying to hold it together, but it's tough and a big challenge for me.

Perhaps when you are headed in a certain direction for a long time, the tendency is to think that it will continue forever? But what I can see now is that there are no guarantees in life, and I never know what the next moment will bring. Who knows, it could even be the kind of curveball that seems to change nearly everything!

Well, that is neither bad nor good, but it did teach me something about rebooting. I have written before about how easy it has been for me to get cocky about my reboot and start thinking that I've got this thing licked for good. That I'm somehow 'immunized' and I'll never watch P again no matter what. I wrote about that because I watched myself get cocky and then experience a relapse, and I have watched it happen to others, too!

This time I didn't relapse, but my situation taught me how easy it could be if things got bad enough. I had a thought like this:

Quote
What if I suddenly found myself in a terrible situation with no hope? Maybe homeless on the streets? Worse?

What then? Would I really care about avoiding P?

Hm... Maybe not. Maybe I wouldn't care.

Maybe it seems negative, but this thought sobers me to put my feet back on the ground! I have to keep things in the proper perspective here.

I can still reboot and be happy about my progress and success, and that is very good. But I also have to learn to be realistic about my life. I can't use my success in rebooting and pretend it also means I am successful in other areas of life, because that may not be the case.

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**Forum Rules-Guidelines-Suggestions** / Tracking Your Progress
« on: March 13, 2014, 04:57:33 PM »
Whether to "track" your progress is an individual decision. Tracking is certainly not required for successful rebooting! But if you like the concept, here are some ideas:



Real Stuff

Electronics are cool, but have you considered a good old-fashioned paper calendar? You can mark the days with a pencil and you'll have a physical, tangible record of your progress that you can hold in your hands!

I have my own old school counter, a calendar on which I cross the days that I have stayed clean and circle the ones that I have PMOed. I update it every morning. It helps me visualise how am I doing.

Another guy even posted a picture of has calendar, on which he had put dozens of the kind of "A For Effort!" stickers you might have gotten on your assignments in elementary school. He gave himself a new sticker for each day clean! Clever ;D I tried to locate that image for this post, but unfortunately I couldn't find it. :-[

It can be fun to be creative! :) In one memorable case a guy reported etching his calendar into the wood of a desk drawer, to help convince himself that his progress was permanent and not temporary. I wouldn't recommend that (you may want to forget about your P addiction one day!) but it's a cute idea.

One guy built a giant calendar out of Lego building blocks, adding a new piece each day. He said he loved it, because there was no way he wanted to relapse and take the whole thing apart ;)





Spreadsheets

A spreadsheet is a kind of simplified computer programming environment that displays data in a table. Many RebootNation visitors are advanced computer users, so it is not surprising that they like to use spreadsheets to track their relapses.

Because you have access to a programming environment, spreadsheets offer a lot of flexibility. For example, you could calculate how often you relapsed in a week or a month or a year, and make charts and line graphs. Or you could include various good habits related to your reboot:

I've modified my spreadsheet a bit to include all of the different things I try to do daily as part of this healing process...cold shower, meditation, journaling, posting here, exercise, etc.

Many people enjoy the spreadsheets and feel motivated by them. Others take a different approach:

I feel like it's still focusing on the addiction rather than focusing on living (and fixing) my life. In 'My New Life' I don't want porn to get any attention what so ever in any area of my life. I don't even want a spreadsheet because it reminds me of the addiction.

Both viewpoints are valid, and that's why we say tracking your progress is an individual decision.

Spreadsheets cannot yet be easily embedded in your forum signature. If your spreadsheet is online, you can include a link, but only a few people will actually click through to view your spreadsheet. Thus, you may find it is helpful to have an accountability partner or close rebooting companions to help you get accountability from your spreadsheet.

Want a spreadsheet of your own? Some kind rebooters have created spreadsheet templates you can copy and use yourself. There is a popular spreadsheet thread over on the YBR forum that includes instructions and a template (Google Account is required!)





Mobile Apps

If you use Android or iOS, there are several "calendar apps" available which make it easy to mark off days. There are also various apps related to addiction recovery and building good habits which you may find useful. I don't use any of these apps myself, so these are not recommendations, just ideas.

I installed an app on my phone which actually counts the seconds, minutes, hours and days I've not relapsed. I find this motivating, because when I get in trouble, I can open the app and check my progress. There's a big button on the app saying "I failed  :'(" which resets the timer, if I press it. I don't ever want to press that one. It helps. It's called "ImQuit" and can be used for any addiction you want. Check it out.

Recently i downloaded awesome application to my android device. You can get it from play store and type "days since" and search. There will be several apps, feel free to choose. For me, i choose Days Since by Joseph Mak. Then, install it. After that, open the app and fill the start date and the object. For now, it will not show up in your start screen, because you have to activate the widget. Activate it via widget bar in top of main menu. Then,  search for "days since" and put it on your start screen. Click it and check the object you created earlier. After that, wait 30 minutes.
Voila ! Now you have a rebooting partner in your own phone ;D For iphone users, i think similar app can be found in your app store too

Get the app called "Quit That" it's nice to be able to look at how far you've come whenever you need a reminder. I don't count my days in my head I actually forgot until i checked today.

Note: unlike spreadsheets and the tracker, mostly these mobile apps don't integrate with the forum here.

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