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Messages - DonReboot

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1
Teens / Re: Weekly PMO
« on: October 03, 2016, 03:33:30 AM »
From my experience i gathered so far i can also give you the advice to place a tiny box next to your bed.
Write down activities on paper, fold them and place them in the box. Now everytime you have an urge,
grab on note and do the activities that are written on it. Thay can be as simple as

Cold shower
Cuddling your animal, pet, pillow
Doing a bike tour
Going for a walk in nature
Sitting in the garden/nearest park
 
or also contain things like

Bake a cake
Meet a friend
Drive in your car
.
.
.

you get the idea

Also i have sheet which has written standard actions on it:
Turned off the computer? []
Turned off phone?[]
Left room?[]
Took a cold shower?[]

So everytime you get an urge, follow these easy steps and make a tick behind each line ONLY when you have completed it

Hope this helps at least a little bit, my brother in arms
(This is a great song by the way, buy the Album by Dire Straits and listen to it)

2
Teens / Re: On my way to build my life!
« on: October 03, 2016, 03:25:11 AM »
So it now has been three months, and so far i have not made it. Maybe i am missing something,
my longest goal during this time was 11 day, until last friday, but then i typed in some words,
and then went edging to long. I did not have a relapse, but edging is even more destructive.
It is really annoying, looking back to everything that happened, and always knowing "aha, this special even
before we had a family gathering, i watched porn". Not very comfortably, if you ask me.
Although i currently don't feel like i can do it, i will keep trying, as somebody said:

Better fail a 1000 times than not trying at all

I made myself a box with tiny notes inside, there are written activities on them i then will do when i have an urge instead of
accidently supposely clicking and edging. I did also reset my counter, to have a shorter streak of 14 days, as i feel i can make it
this far and then i set another 14 or so days.

Will be a former addict to the end of the year.

3
Teens / Re: Ready To Start Again
« on: June 26, 2016, 01:52:34 PM »
Advice:
Replace porn with meditation, music, workout.

How to do it:
Fight these damn urges, ignore them, write them down (e.g. blalbalbalabalabaa) on a paper and throw it away.

Regarding this girl: Approach her and tell her that you've missbehaved. What should happen other than a no?
Do you think shes going all arms and nuke you down?
Nahh, it'll be a yes or no. So simple.
And even it is a no, you can still go on building your life. If you are happy with it, than this can be seen by others!

4
Teens / Re: couple of questions - 17 yo
« on: June 26, 2016, 01:47:56 PM »
Hey man,

the thing you have to do is simple.
Become your own monster, destroy your porn nest (aka your room), clean it, replace furniture, hang up poster.
After that, start bodyweight training. And afterwards, repeat.

And finally, start meditation and listening to music.

But let me say it is in-damn-credible hard to withstand yourself, my tip is to not set a time goal but to set a life goal, e.g. building muscles, voice training, being calmer, all the shit we used to joke about when we were dumber

5
Teens / Re: Buckled in!
« on: June 26, 2016, 01:41:09 PM »
Hey man,

if have just seen that you have relapsed again, and guessing from your word use, you are not happy about it.
So here is my challenge:

Go 6 weeks, only six weeks without it.
To put it in relation: A person lives 80 years, makes 80*52 = 4160 weeks. Now, this might seem like much, but every time you relapse you waste an hour, day, week of a better life. And you set yourself back, you miss the chances of life, the ups and downs, the good music, those evenings during summer, sitting on the beach, no brain-fog, just LIFE.

Go man, and get your life, you deserve it.

6
Teens / Re: 17 Years Old advice appreciated!
« on: June 26, 2016, 01:34:48 PM »
Hey man,

as i am around your age, i understand you.

I have a few tips for you, even though i am personally not over the hill, to say it metaphorically.

First, do start meditation (Google Play Store: Calm), read about meditating, about how the addiction changed your brain wirings for bad.

Second, do voice training (search the web for it)

Third, write down your goals on a paper, and behind it the way of acheaving it

Fourth, start a brainal (is this even a word) hobby, my personal favourite is music: Get information about a decent setup, and listen to your songs. Feels good, i promise (if it doesnt work, your setup aint good enough xD ). Be aware, gaming -in my eyes- is not an appropriate hobby, at least not during reboot.

Fifth, invest your money in good outfits/ an evening with your mates, girls, parents etc / or in new posters for your room

Sixth: Rebuild your room, move the furniture, turn it heads-down.

Go and have your life man!

7
Teens / On my way to build my life!
« on: June 26, 2016, 01:19:08 PM »
Hello to all,

first a few basic information about myself, my motivation and any other things i consider important:

Basics, what did lead me here:

I am 19 years old, and have watched and obviously masturbated to porn for 5 years, a long time i didn't even know
how influential it was on my life, my everyday tasks, school, going out, meeting people, all the social stuff. I first realised
that it was a problem about a year ago: The first time sex was horrible! I wasn't able to maintain a good erection, nor
did any methods my girlfriend tried any help, the experience was a catastrophe whereas it should have been some kind of a victory.  And because of this horrible experience, i suddenly lost control. The feeling I had afterwards can best be described as a collapse of my world as i knew it. Thanks god i had already finished school, because for the next 2 months, i felt really shit, but did NOT knew what the cause for my bad mood, my missing connection to my girlfriend and in general my bad view on life was.

And then, after 2 months of a miserable life, of a time i wished it was evening immediately after i woke up, i thought i found a way
to take control back, through mediation. I still remember my first time of mediation, it was as amazing as listening to your favourite songs
on a good hi.fi setup, just appreciating the "calmness" of the sound (sounds strange, i know). So after this great realization, i started to mediate on a regular base, usually half a hour before going to bed. It helped, but at this time i didn't know about my porn addiction, i kept masturbating to porn as before, even though i had a heartwarmed girlfriend.

It was a few months later when i found out about my porn addiction (the sex life so far could be best described as mehh, viewing back now). I don't recall what it was that made me first think about porn, but as far as i see it, it doesn't matter, because the thing is, that i found out about it. The next days were basically everyday relapses, one followed by another, drowning me down beacause i knew it wasn't doing me any good. Then, the daily relapses became weekly relapses, but i didnt follow my mission as hard as i should had.

So months went by, accompanied by relapses, urges, even more frequent relapses. Until i decided to tell my girlfriend about it. Yup, i havent told her all the time, and still today i (rightfully, as i see it) feel like i was a very bad person for not telling her about it, right after the start.

But then, in February this year, things became better (based on how it has been before), and i managed to do a few 3 or even 4 week streaks. But this period didnt last long, and i went back to weekly relapses ( i obviously stupidly did keep this a secret :( ). Until i told her, that i have relapsed again, this time she was angrier than before, and i felt very sad / uncomfortable for doing this to her.

But it wasnt over yet, a few secret relapses followed, until this ony day it made a snap in my brain, and some kind of fighting monster in my brain awaked, battling all the urges beside on relapse, which was a week ago. I then made the decision to cut out sex, based on the experience of other people this is thought to slow rebooting. So today i have 1 week of no sex, and 8 days without any porn orgasm - but i did peek on porn this morning, which then lead to a "normal", no-porn orgasm that i dont consider as a fallback.

So now i am here, starting my personal journey out of my current brain fog, concentraition problems and all the other side effects, a thing i should have done waaaaay earlier.

What is my goal/ motivation?
My goal now is to diminish my remaining porn addicition to a black, bold 0. I have a vision of myself:

I want to be a an even calmer, reflecting guy (calm, not silent), a man who is fine with his body, who has muscels, goes out more often, who is proud of what he has and what he does, a man who can have sex without the fear of getting the chaser effect, somebody my girl can always relay on, a person who is social, helpful, who is a human. Point.

How do i get there?
This is an easy yet difficult question.
  • First, going to the gym on a daily base will cover the body problems.
  • Second, mediation will take cover of the calmness.
  • And third, time will heal the problems with the urges, the chaser effects and all the other shitty signs.
  • Fourth, music seems to have a greater impact on me since i reduced porn to a minimum, so ill try to listen to my favourite songs ( Brothers in arms, anybody? ;D ) instead of giving in to urges, but will not force myself into listening, because i dont want to ruin my music-experience
  • Fifth: spending more time with my girl aside of the bed (not that it is bad though, but it is not yet as i want it to be), instead cuddling, having dinner, cooking together, baking, visiting the cinema, basically making her proud of me

What will i do now, when will updates come?
Now, i'll take care of my appereance, shave myself, go to bed early and start building up my life, stone on stone, time after time.
And i will keep you updated on a weekly base - or randomly, e.g. instead of giving up, keeping it up.
So you will hear/ read from me again in one week, which for me is the third of July.

Go and have your life!

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