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Messages - Beachy

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1
I tend to agree with a few of the guys here, I think it's unlikely to be PIED related anymore unless you've found a porn substitute such as Facebook hotties. Failing that perhaps it's time to try again.

Morning wood is not a great test as it may be happening while you sleep and you wouldn't know.

I stopped porn 14 months ago and am only seeing results now but found I had to jump start my libido. For me this involved a trick I learnt from yourbrainonporn which is light caressing of myself in the shower. I sometimes got hard, sometimes didn't but didn't really care about the result, only the sensations, which is the whole point. Then tried masturbation once and given that worked and I couldn't do that before I'd rebooted I knew I'd improved. Then tried some fantasy and found myself just fantasising about real situations as opposed to porn stuff. Then onto a real girl, who I'm rewiring with now. That works out sometimes and doesn't on other occasions but she's cool with that as we often go for many hours so lots of attention for her.

I guess my long winded point is try some stuff to build up your libido again. I'd say after this amount of time you're most likely good to go PIED wise, it's more likely a mind thing. I also disagree with some of the guys on this site about erection meds. Take a small dose once or twice to remember how good sex is then drop them as you most likely won't need them after that. Works for some but others are dead against it so you'll need to make your own mind up on that one.

It's hard to know whether you're better so perhaps time to give it a shot and see how you go.

Good luck.

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Ages 40 and up / Re: Life is beautiful
« on: March 16, 2015, 05:11:25 AM »
Nice Lyon03. We did start at similar times and we both had a bit of a life reboot albeit for different life events. That internal feeling of change is a great thing and provides a calmness which is welcome after the turmoil and heightened emotion of dealing with the addiction.

Phase2 is right that this forum should be a temporary stop. I got in the habit of checking this forum a lot, reading and rereading yourbrainonporn.com and then strategising about how I was going to beat the PIED as though I was going into a boxing ring against it. It is a formidable opponent that does require energy to overcome but the death spiral of thinking about it so often, even if it was to remind myself not to think about it, becomes a chain around the neck. The continuous thought and the community support is invaluable for a period but I'm now finding it counter productive as the reboot progresses. I think when you get to a certain point then it's time to just move on and not think about it at all so I'm weaning off rebootnation a fair bit. The site is invaluable but as Phase2 says it has a use by date.

Good luck friend and hopefully if life throws you any more lemons you just add gin and tonic and drink it down.

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Ages 40 and up / Re: Unusual circumstances - Same Result - My Journal
« on: March 16, 2015, 12:38:39 AM »
Haven't been here for a while, sorry about that. Quick update on my situation.

Not sure what happened but a week ago I felt something change inside. The world looked different. The random sex fantasies stopped, I started thinking more clearly and I had a longing to be with the girl I've been dating but not to just screw her so that I knew my ED was gone. I just wanted to be with her because she's cool to hang around. Not sure what button got switched but I knew somehow I'd turned the corner. Somehow I knew it was going to be downhill from here.

So this weekend was amazing. Loads of sex with only the occasional erection issue and it was all close, emotional vanilla sex. I never knew it could feel like this after so many years of screwing pixels. So after 14 months of almost no porn I think I'm getting close. I should add that I really only started rebooting in November so although I stopped porn I didn't stop fantasy and pill aided sex so it wasn't a 14 month reboot.

I believe a number of things led to the improvement but something recent was I started allowing myself to think like I did before porn. It seemed natural to have some vanilla fantasies about my girl and I MO'd to those thoughts. I felt like this said to my brain it's OK now to get this libido going again, let's wind it up. I'd read that quite a few guys have needed to jump start their libido in this way and it felt like the right time for me for some reason.

Anyway, I'm not claiming success just yet as I know guys go back into flatline after getting to the point I'm at but I had a great last week and now I'm looking forward to seeing further improvement. :)

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Ages 40 and up / Re: Unusual circumstances - Same Result - My Journal
« on: February 19, 2015, 12:13:27 AM »
Today I sit here as a man who feels like he's back to the start of reboot process. I'd made amazing progress and have had successful sex a bit since starting reboot but have had a bit of ED return. But today I can't stop thinking about sex, look like shit, feel like shit. Temptation for the first time in ages to watch porn or just sneak into my bedroom for MO. It is taking all my power to not succumb.

But there's a cool part of me that just says... "is that all you've got addiction. Is that your best effort at making me return". This thought comes from my successes and failures before today. I know it's hard, I know it can work, I know there are successes and failures.

Of course it didn't help that my ex wife visited today looking ridiculously hot and proceeded to tease me. Not fair play.

But the main point is I can do this. Just focus on life not sex and it will work out.

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Ages 40 and up / Re: Unusual circumstances - Same Result - My Journal
« on: February 16, 2015, 03:26:41 AM »
I agree Dharnabum, this about mind and not body. I'm now at a point where the issue with ED and DE are secondary to just taking getting life to a good place.

I had problem with ED again on the weekend but I'm not overly concerned about that and it's this attitude that makes a great difference. I understand the process much better now and get how the brain just needs a bit more time to get better. No big deal, no panic, no drama. So as I've said before in a number of posts, I'll just concentrate on my kids, gym, dancing, bike riding, my work and heading out with friends and the ED will sort itself out as I go hard mode for another while.

Thanks for your input guys.

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Bowenreboot. This is one of the most confusing parts of the process. Your brain controls what you do and sadly those things it's trying to get you to do are in fact doing damage. You deserve a fulfilling sex life with a beautiful, real women. Beats videos every time. Stay strong friend, this is the most difficult part but it will get easier.

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Ages 40 and up / Re: Unusual circumstances - Same Result - My Journal
« on: February 10, 2015, 10:42:46 PM »
Been a long time since I've posted in my journal so here's the update.

Hooked up with a girl mid Jan and have had successful sex with her. ED is mostly gone although not completely. I do have problems with DE but I'm happy enough with that and believe it will go away while continuing to reboot with a partner with no MO. No PMO isn't really an issue for me anymore as the cravings are really manageable.

The good thing about this partner is we both have kids so we can only really get together every two weeks. So we have sex one weekend then I have a further two weeks of no fapping to continue my progress. I think for me this is a recipe that works.

Thanks again to everyone for their support.

8
Hi SRT_01. Do you have ED or are you doing a reboot for other reasons? I tried dating very early on in my reboot and it just got embarrassing when I had sex as the ED hadn't cleared. I had semi-successful sex after 30 days and am seeing ongoing progress. I kinda wish I had waited another 30 days before having sex but I was horny and that won over common sense.

So if you have ED I'd wait a while but if you don't well why not, go for it. Good luck.

9
Thanks Chaos Mind for eloquently summing up my position. That's why I have enjoyed posting here and must do it more. Often I believe I am further along the rebooting path than I actually am, and it takes others to hear my story and state the truth. My mind doesn't really want to give up this stuff even though it's bad for it. Thanks again.

10
Yeh, it's obvious stuff isn't it, except my brain liked it so it sent me there and it wasn't porn so I hadn't added it to the banned list. This is a journey that has no defined path and errors occur along the way, even bleeding obvious ones.

PC3c1se, yes I was going on dates, lots of them and that was fun but the problem was I hadn't heeled when I did so rebooting with a real woman wasn't going to work. It's funny, I remember feeling high, even shaking when I was messaging these girls and meeting them was a let down in some ways. When it came time to try sex with them I had some improvement because I hadn't watched porn for 10 months but I never got rid of the ED because there was no complete abstinence from digital content before trying. I have now had a good period away from sexual contact and now I've got good improvement.

ShootingBlanks, I agree with you staying with the same girl. She knows about my ED issue but the funny thing is the ED is disappearing now as I have continued normal sex with her. Not always successful but getting there. I feel the brain is rewiring to the real thing after not being able to have sex without pills for 14 months!! But I'm not fully healed and I need to keep away from triggers such as the dating sites, video clips etc. So the rest of my reboot will be with a partner.

11
Just thought I'd post a little revelation I just had today. I just had a look through a dating site and the dopamine rush was substantial, not quite porn like but enough to want me to keep looking and looking. I recall a period when I had given up porn for 10 months without improvement and a big part of that period was spent on dating sites. I now think looking through girls profiles prevented improvement (there were obviously other issues that affected my results as well).

Obviously this is a major danger area for me personally, keeping those unhealthy pathways active with digital content instead of real girls, all on the pretence that it would lead to experiences with real girls. I hadn't looked at a site for about 3 months so I might stay away while I continue to see improvement. I'm currently rebooting with a great girl anyway who is patient, loving and passionate which makes me wonder what the feck I was doing on a dating site anyway. Damn you brain. I've had successful sex quite a few times now with continued improvement every time. The key is continuing to stay away from danger areas like dating sites and music videos which hamper improvement.

Just thought I'd share. Good luck everyone.

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Ages 40 and up / Re: 40 yrs,1 week in and life sucks.
« on: January 12, 2015, 08:34:41 PM »
Congrats on taking the first step jgunn. This community is full of amazing strong people like yourself who have decided to make change. You are strong, it just probably doesn't feel like it at the moment but making this decision takes incredible determination so be proud.

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Ages 40 and up / Re: Unusual circumstances - Same Result - My Journal
« on: January 12, 2015, 08:28:43 PM »
Thanks Poker. I agree, it's important to keep your eye on the prize. I'm mostly focusing on the positives I achieved rather than the PMO. I did have semi-successful sexwhich is something I could only dream of 8 weeks ago. I'm on the way.

But now I'm back focusing on expanding and enjoying the other things in my life that provide so much satisfaction; my kids, swing dancing, basketball coaching, paddling, gym, heading out with friends and creating a successful business. In fact, it helps just writing those things down, these are the things that will bring improvement, not just focusing on the ED.

The other thing I need to do is post here more. I'd stopped doing that and in doing so lost the great support from amazing people that gave me strength early on.

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Ages 40 and up / Re: Unusual circumstances - Same Result - My Journal
« on: January 11, 2015, 10:00:25 PM »
Had sex twice late last week but took a while to get there. Up and down a bit which isn't ideal but got there in the end which is a major improvement from start of process. Then PMO'd yesterday and MO today so a bit of a binge. Time to start again. I guess if it was easy we'd all get it first try so I'm not too concerned. Here we go again!

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Ages 40 and up / Re: Unusual circumstances - Same Result - My Journal
« on: January 04, 2015, 05:51:43 AM »
7 week or in and not really sure where I am reboot wise although progress is obvious. Random fantasies have stopped, morning erections are good. I'm sort of keen to give it another go with a partner to assess where I'm at but don't want to derail progress by trying too early (again). I've been asked out by ex girlfriend next weekend and that only ever ends up in one place. Who am I kidding...I'm going to try again then. Hopefully successful.

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Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction/Delayed Ejaculation / Re: PIED & Kegels
« on: December 23, 2014, 09:40:13 PM »
I overdid the kegals and then came in about 20s when I had sex successfully. I've stopped now and it went back to normal. I think the key is moderation or you'll create other issues.

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Ages 40 and up / Five weeks in - Getting definite progress - Journal
« on: December 21, 2014, 11:08:21 PM »
Well I'm 5 weeks in and starting to feel quite good. Sex fantasies were my major issue for first 4 weeks. I couldn't stop myself going into a trance like state imagining having sex with real girls I liked. Happened so often it was affecting work. That's largely stopped now and only happens from time to time if I'm bored. Keeping busy is important.

I had successful sex with ex girlfriend who volunteered to assess my progress at 33 days. Erection went up and down a fair bit but no cialis required and I came, something that has rarely happened over last 12 months. In fact I had success a second time as well with 70-80% erection.

So I'm continuing reboot without sex for next 5 weeks and then I'll see where I am after that. Glad I've got someone who has volunteered her services whenever I want to check :). Couldn't of dreamed I'd have hope of ED being gone when I started reboot. I hoped but felt disillusioned and not overly confident at the time. Now I'm mildly confidant and hopeful of a fulfilled sex life. Here's hoping guys.

18
Thanks for the advice guys. Circumstances have meant that I won't see girlfriend for 5 weeks so answer has been made for me. So another period of no sex followed by hopefully lots of it in 5 weeks time. I'll let you know how I go.

19
Last night got sidetracked (which happens pretty easily after 5 weeks no MO) and caught up with an ex girlfriend and thought what the hell, may as well have a go and see how I'm progressing. Big improvement for sure. Had sex a couple of times without pills which I needed previously to maintain an erection. Erection went up and down a bit but I was still able to come once at night and once in the morning. The one in the morning was about 80% erect. No chaser effect now.

Not sure where to go now. I feel I'm still not quite there. I've improved sooooo much in the last 5 weeks and I couldn't have dreamed of this result before I started reboot but I still went up and down a bit. Any advice. Continue the reboot with girlfriend or just chill for another month or so and then try again?

20
Congrats on getting to 90 days  (almost). Amazing.

The fear of eternal celibacy hovers over my anxiety-ridden mind like white on rice.  Will this ever end for me? Who knows.

I hear you brother. There is a lot of advice that what you do with your dick isn't the measure of a man, and I agree there are far more important things we can all achieve, but a healthy sex life is why a lot of us are here. Quite a powerful motivator to stay the course isn't it.

Not sure about how important morning wood is. I'm starting to get great wood each morning but it is less if I find myself fantasising the day before. I just can't stop those sex thoughts coming into my head and get into this catatonic state without even noticing it. When I come too I slap myself about a few times, return to what I was doing and then find myself in a catatonic state again fantasising only a few minutes later. Really annoying. Not sure what to do about that.

Good luck with Portuguese. I don't think it matters what you do, just find something new to stimulate your mind. I took up dancing (takes me out of my comfort zone), doubled my gym efforts and paddle a bit as well, all in the name of keeping busy. Maybe George suffered PIED?

21
Robert20, I am getting some progress with morning wood and I could MO now if I wanted with full erection whereas before I couldn't get an erection without porn and even then it was only part. I'm also in the middle of a big flatline, which makes this whole process a lot easier. Mind you I gave up porn 11 months ago but kept using pills to have sex because of continued ED. I'm going hard mode now to get this ED sorted.

I spent time with my ex yesterday and felt no inclination to do anything with her, which is very unusual. Others fear the flatline but I welcome it because the first few weeks I just wanted to jump on everything and it made this process difficult. I'll keep going hard mode until the end of Jan and then reassess.

There is no greater goal than a functioning sex life for a guy is there...a great motivator. So I'm happy to stay the course. Hope you're travelling well mate. This is a bitch of a process so cheers for the support. I'll keep an eye on your progress as well. Good luck.

22
Over 3 weeks into the reboot and all going well except one thing. The only issue I have is regular fantasies that just pop into my head. It usually takes me a few minutes to work out I'm fantasizing and then stop myself. I often find myself fantasising again a few minutes later and have to stop it again. Happens every morning when I wake up and various times during the day. They're not porn fantasies and usually involve someone I'd like to sleep with but I'm just trying to keep them out of my head to make sure I stay on track.

Does this happen to anyone else? Does it lesson as time goes on?

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Ages 40 and up / Re: Unusual circumstances - Same Result - My Journal
« on: December 07, 2014, 04:40:24 AM »
3 weeks down and things are relatively uneventful. Enough flatline to remove temptation but enough interest to flirt with those I meet. I've got 3 weeks away now with work or my kids so temptation will be quite low. Feeling positive.

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Ages 40 and up / Re: PORN IS NOT AN OPTION
« on: December 04, 2014, 12:57:30 AM »
That's great Lyon. Life is an adventure after all so go for it. Stay strong.

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Ages 40 and up / Re: Unusual circumstances - Same Result - My Journal
« on: December 04, 2014, 12:55:49 AM »
Cheers Lyon. Was in gym 6:30AM this morning and off on mountain bike weekend tomorrow so I'm fitter than I've ever been. Taking dance lessons twice a week, life is good on many levels. Thanks heaps for your support.

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