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Porn Addiction / Re: Loneliness and nofap
« Last post by AlexthenotsoGreat on Today at 07:41:33 AM »
 2 weeks is pretty good! How did you get that far twice?
Do you remember what the triggers were? Your sense of isolation and social phobia may be feeding off your porn habits and vice versa, creating a vicious cycle that is bound to repeat itself.
I'm not surprised about your shrink discounting the influence porn has on you. Unfortunately it's not very well known amongst the psychiatric world yet. Although it's been getting more and more attention as of late.
Stick to your 12 step group and try to make it to 10 days without porn. Start off with small attainable goals and increase them as you go. Make it to ten days and you may be surprised s at the results !
[/quote]

I realized about a day ago that my relapses always came a day or two after I'd edged without orgasm, to test if the sensation was different. Nights are always the worst for me, so that's when my chances of relapsing are the greatest. I had no idea edging would have such an effect to be honest. Cold turkey seems to be the most successful way to hear from others. I'll stay posted on my progress.
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Porn Addiction / Re: Loneliness and nofap
« Last post by AlexthenotsoGreat on Today at 07:36:37 AM »

For social anxiety/loneliness the ABSOLUTE WORST thing you can do for yourself is be on social media.  Looking at people's pages showing their families, good times (frankly making them look better than they seem), and progress in life.  It makes you think everyone else has great lives, and yours is terrible.  The fact is that this generation is having a VERY hard time socially and economically, and you are FAR from alone... those people just don't brag about it on Facebook, so they remain invisible, and you only see the ones who are happy, or are good at pretending to be happy.


I haven't heard about this. It makes a lot of sense though. I was much happier or at least less depressed when I wasn't on social media. I didn't get into it until quite late, and it was then my depression seemed to worsen. I might have to try a longer fast and see how it works. Thanks for the other thoughts as well! I appreciate it.
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Ages 30-39 / Re: Back On The Wagon: 2
« Last post by PE30 on Today at 07:26:57 AM »
My reboot means:

- no porn or porn subs
- no chat rooms
- a sex life exclusively with my wife, that reflects our mutual tastes and preferences (I was never one to want porn movie style sex: I kept the two things in different compartments in my head)
- an active effort to kill all other lustful thoughts (e.g. when I see an attractive woman on the train, or whatever)
- an active effort to avoid temptation (television shows etc)

Regarding the final one: I don't think I'll ever stop feeling tempted. But I have a choice to allow a brief moment of attraction to die, or to allow it to take root. I'm choosing the former as part of my reboot. Hope this helps.

It's day 57 by the way. Feeling pretty low in general but the reboot is going steady.
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Ages 30-39 / Re: Rich's 90 Days
« Last post by TurningTheCorner on Today at 07:16:05 AM »
Keep at it Rich, I'm rooting for you.

You've inspired me to get out of bed and make a list of chores that will keep me busy for a few hours.

I think being active to start my day will get me going on the right foot.
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Ages 30-39 / Re: Bringing the Elephant to Heel
« Last post by TurningTheCorner on Today at 07:13:16 AM »
I forgot to check-in yesterday, but I'll do that now and then check in again tonight.

Yesterday was 29 clean days under my belt, working on day 30.

I kept myself busy, so it was a good day. I went to my local disc golf leagues and played okay. I ended up winning $16 on a closest to pin competition.

I found a guy to throw a second round with me so that kept me at the course for another 2 hours. Nice enough guy. Just happy to have the company.

All of that stuff is good, except mgtow/red pill videos.  No, no, no!  Do NOT watch mgtow/red pill videos.  That is the last thing you want to do, man.  Those are made by individuals who have sociopathic or psychopathic personalities who are trying to blame everyone else for their  problems.  Sure , there are sociopathic or narcissistic women out there.  I am not saying there aren't.  And sure, their numbers are likely growing .  This is  not surprising, as stats show that narcissism is growing in general, with rises in both sexes. 

I cannot emphasize enough NOT to.watch those videos.  I watched them when my wife  and I were having a hard time.  They almost destroyed my marriage.  Those guys paint all women under the brush of insane  psychopaths, when the vast majority of women, or minority, whatever, just want  a guy who will be an equal partner.  They want a responsible , capable guy by their side.  You will not find stable individuals  on dating apps.  Sorry, that just won't  happen.  Go out there and talk to people.  That is the only way.

Keep up the good work  (all the other stuff), but stop watching mgtow/red pill videos, that is if you ever want a stable relationship  with a woman, or to get married.

Rich

I appreciate your feedback about the red pill / mgtow stuff. I totally understand how the videos can have that effect. I'm mostly drawn to the self improvement aspect of the talks. Some of their talking points are clearly true (without demonizing women). For example, in order to land a high quality mate, I need to increase my sexual market value. The surest way to do that is to take care of my body and work hard in my career (or side business). I need to be as physically fit and masculine as I can be and I need to have as many resources as possible.

That is an objectively good thing to strive for and it doesn't require viewing women as sociopaths.

I'm definitely not gobbling up every red pill talking point as gospel, but right now the content is helping me. I'll glean what I can and ignore the rest. I've been exposed to too many happy, long term marriages and relationships to be convinced that all women are damaged sociopaths and narcissists. Long term relationships are clearly possible under the right circumstances, so you don't have to worry about me going full mgtow.
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Ages 20-29 / Re: Let's end the year on a high note
« Last post by jonthan on Today at 07:00:46 AM »
Day 14
It's good that I'm on a spiritual path. Any drift away from the path causes pain, and pain is a reminder that I need to recenter myself. Gratitude for pain.

I can hardly recognize myself, except for those brief moments of drifting. There was a brief fantasy yesterday, and I could feel the submissive bisexual part emerging, but I shut down the fantasy before he could gain control. I just need to keep doing this and it will get easier. It already is easy compared to last week.

In the past I thought that I should explore myself completely, in order to discover "who I am", whereas now I see that some parts are strictly immoral and there is no way to reconcile those parts with the greater me. It's fine to learn who they are, but they must be shut down, dissociated, extinguished. Not that I have to hate them, just don't give them any power. As a teenager they had very little power, and it was only through watching submissive gay porn that they gained anything from me. I am the one who created this monster and so I am the one who must defeat it.

There is the awareness that any kind of masturbation would fuck this up, because much of this power is attained from the hormonal effects of semen retention and there is also a source of pride in being able to hold out for so long. In my current state of mind, I can't see why MO would be pleasurable. Yes, I'm sure I could change this view, but by doing so I would have deactivated the spiritual person I am now in favor of a lesser being. I don't want to be a lesser being ever again. I want to be a monk with magic powers forever. But I still want to have sex, which means I need to look into non-orgasm tantra sex.
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Ages 20-29 / Re: I want to be inspiration for you
« Last post by Berens on Today at 03:52:28 AM »
Day 25
At this stage of rebooting I will have to begin to plan what I want to do with all this time and energy. From time to time it’s good revaulate one’s own life. The question is how do I want to live my life? What do i want to experience? I have done months ago self-authoring program by Jordan Peterson. Maybe i can do it again, i am in different stage of life right now. Rebooting makes you have more control over your own life and over your actions. So we have to make a good use of it. Time ago i would just act compulsively. Now i have to decide what to do and sometimes i can just feel lost and not know what to do.
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Ages 20-29 / Re: I must crush this vice. I need to
« Last post by mousemat1 on Today at 03:48:54 AM »
I would image almost every recovered porn addict has relapsed many times. It has taken me over 3 years to achieve my current streak of 264 days.

Everyone is different, but it helped me to really feel how bad I felt when I relapsed. I then recalled those feelings when I was tempted to relapse again. It's probably been my most successful method of walking away from the computer to give myself time to cool down.

Just start again with renewed confidence that you'll beat your previous streak! Good luck!  ;)
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Ages 20-29 / New Rebooter as well as I would like to get help.
« Last post by seangsiri77 on Today at 03:34:09 AM »
Hi! I'm Sam.
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I want to help you Long story short, I figuredout my PIED Dec. 20, and then I did not watch porn since. I have only a few requests. However, there is nothing to be mad. I MO. Afterwards, during the January 10th, just for the previous experience with my boyfriend. Yet, really bad about this issue. Am I just wondering if it's okay to MO during this process? I have been craving for some time, and I will get a wild boar if I'm in bed. However, I'm still nervous to call the girl up for the previous 3 times. Ive taken a girl home where I can not get it up and The most disgusting thing ever happened to me, because of this, I'm not ready for this, and I have to know it. What helps us to know?
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Any help would be greatly appreciated.
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Ages 20-29 / Re: I must crush this vice. I need to
« Last post by TheGreenWizard on Today at 02:54:20 AM »
Journal Entry:

Well I failed my streak today. I'm pretty bummed that I let myself fail. I even thought time and time again that I shouldn't be messing around but I kept going. But I guess it is what it is and it happens to the best of us. I don't see the point in beating myself up about it. But I shouldn't have let myself be in that position. I stayed up during my peak risk hours, wanted sex but don't have a means for that to happen, got bored, and played around a little too much. In the end I lost this round. But I'm not giving up. I am going to do better because I know that I can. I learned a lot about myself and the addiction this time around. I even see this failure as a learning experience. I do give credit to to myself for lasting this long. It's been the longest I've gone. So that proves to me that I have to potential to beat this addiction and go longer. I'm going to challenge myself to do that.

Days PMO free: 0
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