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Ages 40 and up / Re: Here we go
« Last post by jasonsjunk1975 on Today at 06:34:11 PM »
Staying busy thinking of the life I want.  There are so many dreams that I have that are there for the taking that this addiction has delayed me from having.  There are things I want and to give in to my desires will only delay it.
Ages 40 and up / Re: 30yearsgone Journal
« Last post by jasonsjunk1975 on Today at 06:30:19 PM »
Ages 40 and up / Re: Yes I Can!
« Last post by 30yearsgone on Today at 06:27:10 PM »
Agree.  Click bait can be a big trigger.  Move away from it quickly.

And yes, medication can be very helpful for depression if other life modifications have not helped. 

Thanks to RN and you guys.  Has been very helpful for me.
Ages 40 and up / Re: 30yearsgone Journal
« Last post by 30yearsgone on Today at 06:22:28 PM »
Day seven now.  Feeling good.
Porn Addiction / Re: Low dopamine depression lasting too much
« Last post by WoundedSparrow on Today at 05:38:33 PM »
First of all, congratulations on a porn-free year. I hope to achieve this goal someday. Second, depending on how long you were a user, your brain could take a considerable amount of time to realign itself to its natural state. It could be years before you fully recover. It could possibly be your brain missing the high of dopamine, but it also sounds to me like this could be depression-related. Porn addiction can make mental illnesses worse. My anxiety and OCD have gone through the roof since I started using. I actually suffered breakdowns a few times. The fact that you've begun using again might have something to do with it, or you could just be suffering from unrelated depression. My advice would be to go to a doctor or psychologist and see what's up. Don't be afraid of medication. It helps rebalance the chemicals in your head to help fix what ails you. And above all else, stop using porn. Don't look at it, don't think about it, and certainly don't masturbate to it. Remember: Nothing good ever comes of porn use.
Porn Addiction / Re: Some help for the struggling
« Last post by WoundedSparrow on Today at 05:30:34 PM »
As a Christian myself, I think something important to bear in mind is the fact that we weren't meant to pleasure ourselves, we're supposed to experience that sort of pleasure with another. Wasting time on the selfish self-pleasure of porn damages us physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. You aren't "quitting porn", you're taking your life back. All the negative effects you experience are brought on by the same thing that brings you pleasure, and the brain's reward system works that way by design. It makes us feel as though we are losing something because we're cutting off our addicted mind's source of dopamine. However, the dopamine released through porn use is exactly what rewires the brain and produces all of the horrific side effects we feel. The momentary pleasure of porn use comes with a laundry list of pain that accompanies you even when you aren't using. The pleasure and pain are a package deal, and one we could all do without.
Ages 40 and up / Re: This is the fight
« Last post by harpoon on Today at 05:18:49 PM »
But I guess I must talk about porn too. I mean it's been over three weeks, and i guess I'm asking a lot to think that I would be cured so quickly.

I suppose I should ask. When I was using porn it was ever night, 2-3hrs edging until O.  How bad is this? On a scale  of 1 to 10 where am I? And how bad is edging anyway?
Ages 20-29 / Re: The Most Difficult Journey --> A New Beginning
« Last post by changemylife on Today at 04:56:40 PM »
Yes, edging is a downward valley toward the bottom. It's been my downfall and the reason why I've relapsed 1000 times since I said I wanted to quit. Edging is how the lizard brain likes to whisper in your ear: "You know you want that dopamine high so what are you waiting for? Ah, you want to stay away from masturbation? But this is not the same, it's just a little dopamine high and that's all, as long as you don't ejaculate, you're safe." I have listened to this voice in my head trillions of times, I edged, I exhausted the arousal and left myself feeling empty and wanting for more. Then I ejaculated, wanting for more and no great high came. Then we all know the crushed feeling that comes with relapsing but relapse wasn't only the ejaculation, the relapse started with edging and/or watching porn. I don't know how other people are but I used to look at this like "As long as I don't ejaculate, the streak goes on" but actually the edging and porn watching was my relapse already. If I've learned one thing from this is that, for many people, our mind is not our ally. My whole fucking life I've had problems with my mind not being by my side. It seemed like other people had such an easy time because their mind helped them but it's always being a fucking enemy for me.
As you said, we could do the right things and still it might seem like we could not quit this god damned addiction. It's that hard. The brain likes it that much. Maybe because I and many others have started as kids might make it a lot more difficult. Given the fact that my favorite video games are those NES video games considered "shit" for today standards, tells a lot: Fucking childhood habits. PMO is a childhood habit for me and I feel it like just like those games.
I don't know what could I say more, maybe just this: If I could ever beat this addiction, it will be the hardest thing I will ever do in my entire life. Nothing will come close to this. It's a tightrope walk,
Porn Addiction / Re: Some help for the struggling
« Last post by changemylife on Today at 04:40:56 PM »

This battle is 100% with the mind. We want to get clean, we want to walk away....but we want to fail. Many have posted feeling "sad" about leaving porn. We can all relate. One of my biggest struggles was with the thought "I'm NEVER going to view porn again?! Ever??" That's a big pill. We realize we can't 'sort of' keep using, PMO once in a while, etc.  The finality of "I can never, ever get another hit of that wonderfulness again" is damn intimidating. I've made it out, this will help those struggling:

This definitely touches a sensitive part of me. This is exactly what's going on. Just the thought of quitting this for life is scary. Giving up something that stimulating and pleasurable is nothing easy. I need to get into the right mindset and be prepared for the depression and emptiness that will eventually come from the disappearance of my drugs of choice. Why am I saying "drugs"? I have 3 addictions but since this forum is about porn addiction in particular, I don't know how much I should bring alcohol and Internet addiction into the equation. Maybe Internet addiction is more related to porn addiction in a way? Or maybe all addictions have something in common, I don't know, I can't talk from a scientific point of view. But the idea remains: Just the simple thought of giving them up scares me so much. "What am I supposed to do now with this emptiness and depression?" This is a question I've asked myself in the past after I had been away from any of these 3 addictions for some time. Even removing one and having the others was so hard because it's like each one has its special place and the way it feels is unique. I could give up one of them but it would feel strange. I don't know, man, it's crazy. You never want to be a junkie but then you find yourself one and your whole world gets turned upside down from the realization. I remember a time when I used to blame the addicts and now I'm one.
Ages 40 and up / Re: This is the fight
« Last post by harpoon on Today at 04:22:29 PM »
We went for a walk last night and we had a brief kiss. I asked her to have a talk with her husband, tell him that she's considering leaving, that she's not happy and needs more. Mind you this was after she said she was considering leaving him for me. I was a little taken back.

I mean we had fun, and it was kind of fantasy land stuff for both of  us. Looking back it was inevitable that this would happen between us. We're great together.

But what crippled me was the guilt. As I kissed her I was just consumed with guilt. A spark began to go out as I began to withdraw.

I believe she's loves me, and that scared me. She was talking about leaving her husband, my "best" friend. I felt sick. That's when I asked her to talk to him. But I have turned her head. I've been a jackass.

Sure I wanted the fun part, the exiting part, but it started to get very heavy, very quick.what would I do with three kids? How would I cope with no friends? (Because I'd be disowned,) Could I ever trust her anyway? What would my life look like? I understood then, why it's easier just to have an affair and try to cover your sorry ass.

But that's  something I cannot do.

I'll be honest, a small piece of me has died throughout this whole "affair." I have always been a loyal and trustworthy friend, I was a porn addict, possibly a bit of a drunk, a high school drop out, a general fuck up, but I was always a good friend, always. I'm heartbroken to have betrayed my friend. I've never experience this emotion, and it's fn killing me.
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